African Women in Novels Podcast by Eileen Omosa
episode Eleven – Why African woman Linger in Harmful Relationships
Welcome to the African Women in Novels, a Podcast by Eileen Omosa, a Sociologist writing and publishing Romance and Women’s Fiction novels.
In the podcast, I reference books set in African to discuss how African women are portrayed in novels? During our discussions, I ask my guests and listeners for their views on a variety of issues, including the following three questions:
1. Is the role of an African girl set long before she is born, or is she free to choose the life she desires?
2. The second question is - what role do African women play in shaping existing narratives on gender relations?
3. And question number three, does education open more opportunities or conflicts for African women?
Stay on to the end of this episode to learn about the journeys and roads traveled by some girls and women. For those of you in the development sector, or scholars or writers wanting to comprehend issues of human agency and decision-making—the issues I raise in this podcast provide some starting point to your understanding of the position of the African girl or woman in society, and the broader topic of gender and gender relations.
In today’s episode, Episode eleven of the Podcast, I focus on a question I have been asked or heard others asked, and my guess is, you have been asked, or heard someone struggle to answer the following question: “This or that African woman has a good education, a degree or degrees, a well-paying job and a promising career ahead of them, why can’t she pack and leave?
This question mostly relates to situations where a young woman is struggling to, for example convince her parents to let her marry the man she loves, or she does not want to marry into the family they prefer. Or, if already married and having problems with her husband, many will say, I would pack and leave the next day.
I have read different views in novels. I read a lot of books, two or three per week, novels set in different parts of the world. So, I partly understand where this question or thinking comes from. In some of the books I have read, especially those set in the global North, many times when one of the parents or relatives try to interfere with a romance between two people, they will not hesitate to tell the parent, their mother or father something like this – “You can only come to my wedding if you accept my choice of a partner, if that does not go well with you, you don’t have to attend.” And they move on with their wedding, marriage, and life.
In answering the question above, on why the African woman cannot pack and leave, I will share some information on where the African girl or woman, or man are coming from, leave you with enough details to ponder.
A typical African family, especially in many rural areas starts with parents and their children, your typical nuclei family in other parts of the world. But, unlike in some communities where definition of a family ends with parents and children, there is a big difference for the African family. Father, mother, and children is just the beginning of who these individuals are.
Each of the family members is linked to another level of individuals, aka, extended family, which builds into something like this:
· Each child is linked to their siblings as children of their parents, and each individual child to the other based on their gender, age and if older or younger to the other.
· Each child has a relationship with their parents – as a child, as a boy or girl child, and as a first, last, or in-between child.
What does that tell us? Each child wi