Twilight Trivia!! Carlisle and Laurent ASMR!! Bella's Socks??

PSA: Kayley will now only be referred to as “the glowing blonde”

We're putting out an amber-eye alert because Carlisle is nowhere to be found in this chapter. The "monkey-man" is also missing. We discuss justice for Billy Black and Edward's problematic Jeep activities. Kayley gets in a fight for Esme's honor.

Keep your hands attached to your wrists, this is the steamiest chapter yet. PLUS In school suspensions? the Jacob and Renesme story? Carlisle origins?  *fire emoji* *fire emoji* *fire emoji*

Save The Carver Cafe! Join us as we dissect Bella’s EVERY interest (or lack there of). Go from lunch to biology to the hallway to the car without a single transitional sentence. And brace yourself for this hot take...justice for Renée.

Things finally start heating up but Bella insists on spilling luke warm milk instead of piping hot tea to Jessica. Unflattering sweater or not, Edward can't keep his hands to himself. Plus, Rosalie-Edward sexual tension???? Vampires are cold but these chapters are NOT.

The cokes are poured and the mushroom ravioli is served — the wolf's out of the bag, Edward's a vampire.  We learn his greatest superpower (after victim blaming Bella) is avoiding speeding tickets. But in the end, we might rather face Carlisle and his briefcase of syringes than re-read these chapters again.

Hear why we think 'The Batman' trailer just can't keep Twilight's name out of it's mouth. Relive the first Rosalie/Edward smackdown and ask yourself, does Edward hold up to the Danny Devito test? 

Hear all about our love for Tanya. Also, what exactly was Edward blaring in his volvo that afternoon at school?