Aging Together // Unfiltered

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Summary

Rick Henkin shares his personal journey as a caregiver for his wife Sonia, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. He discusses the challenges of obtaining a diagnosis, the emotional toll on caregivers, and the importance of acceptance and mindfulness. Rick created the Caregiver Mastery System to help others navigate the complexities of caregiving while maintaining their own mental health. He emphasizes the need for caregivers to prioritize their well-being and offers practical advice for managing stress and guilt.

Takeaways

• Rick's journey into caregiving began with Sonia's diagnosis of Alzheimer's.
• The diagnosis process can take months and is often frustrating.
• Caregiver burden can lead to significant health risks for caregivers.
• Mindfulness and acceptance are crucial for managing caregiver stress.
• Rick created the Caregiver Mastery System to support other caregivers.
• The course is designed to be short and practical for busy caregivers.
• Humor can be a valuable tool in caregiving.
• Caregivers must prioritize their own well-being to provide better care.
• It's important to recognize that feelings of guilt stem from love.
• Every caregiver's journey is unique, and support is essential.

About the Guest

Rick Henkin is a husband, father, grandfather to 6 girls, and a caregiver for his wife. He became a caregiver when his wife, Sonia, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in Jan. 2020 at the age of 65. Based on his experiences, Rick is the creator of the Caregiver Mastery System.

• CaregiverMasterySystem.com or https://forfamilycaregivers.com/
• facebook.com/groups/forfamilycaregivers
• https://www.youtube.com/@ForFamilyCaregivers
• https://www.instagram.com/forfamilycaregivers/
• https://www.linkedin.com/in/forfamilycaregivers/
• email: [email protected]

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Summary

In this episode of the Aging Together podcast, Dr. Pooja A. Patel and Dr. Mary Alice Mina discuss the importance of skin health as we age. They explore the concept of pro-aging versus anti-aging, emphasizing the need for prevention and protection for younger skin, as well as the management of chronic skin conditions in older adults. Dr. Mina shares her journey into dermatology, the significance of a holistic approach to skin health, and the role of dermatologists in guiding patients. The conversation also touches on the misconceptions surrounding Botox, wound care in the elderly, and the challenges of insurance coverage for dermatological treatments. Ultimately, the episode encourages listeners to embrace aging and prioritize their overall health for better skin longevity.

Takeaways

• Skin health is an integral part of overall health.
• Pro-aging focuses on longevity and vitality, not anti-aging.
• Prevention is key in managing skin health.
• Education about sun protection is crucial.
• A simple skincare routine can be effective.
• Chronic skin conditions require expert management.
• Botox can be a safe and natural option for many.
• Older adults face unique skin challenges that require special care.
• Wound healing is significantly impacted by overall health and nutrition.
• Insurance coverage for dermatological treatments can be inconsistent.

About the Guest

Dr. Mary Alice Mina is a Harvard-trained dermatologist, international speaker, author, and host of The Skin Real, a podcast ranked in the top 2.5% globally. As a co-owner of Baucom & Mina Derm Surgery in Atlanta, Georgia, she is a leading expert in procedural dermatology, skin health, and skincare. With nearly two decades of clinical experience, Dr. Mina is celebrated for her artistic eye, surgical precision, and ability to help patients feel radiant at every stage of life.

A sought-after speaker, Dr. Mina's insights have been featured in major media outlets, including People Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, Glamour, and Huffington Post. Passionate about empowering others, she combines her expertise with practical advice to inspire audiences to embrace their unique beauty and live confidently in their skin.

• @drminaskin; theskinreal.com/habits

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Summary

In this episode of the Aging Together podcast, host Dr. Patel speaks with elder law attorney H. Frances Reeves about her journey as a caregiver for her parents, the challenges of navigating the medical industrial complex, and her new book, 'Boomers Booming: How to Thrive After 65 and Have Good Sex.' Frances shares her insights on aging, the importance of proactive planning, and her ten commandments for thriving in later life. The conversation emphasizes the need to challenge stereotypes about aging and the significance of mindset in preparing for the future.

Takeaways

• Frances Reeves shares her caregiving journey for her parents.
• The medical industrial complex complicates elder care decisions.
• Writing a book requires discipline and commitment.
• Living life your way is essential after 65.
• Staying relevant is crucial for older adults.
• Death is inevitable; planning is essential.
• Sickness is often temporary, and laughter is important.
• Proactive planning can ease the burden on loved ones.
• Celebrating life should happen while you're alive.
• Forgiveness is a key aspect of aging gracefully.

About the Guest

Frances is the author of Boomers Booming: How to Thrive After Sixty-Five and Have Good Sex, inspired by caring for her parents, Hal and Charlotte, in their final years. Witnessing the “senior industrial complex” overlook them, she became an advocate for elders, while celebrating their zest for life, like skydiving on her mother’s 80th birthday.

Born in Belem, Brazil, Frances grew up across Libya, the Philippines, Colombia, Argentina, Peru, and Singapore before earning her degree from Texas Christian University. Her career began as Director of International Marketing for the Louisiana World Exposition, followed by a law degree from the University of Miami. Fluent in Spanish and conversant in Portuguese, she has interviewed world leaders including Margaret Thatcher, Madeleine Albright, and Gloria Steinem, and is in the Maryland Women’s Hall of Fame.

Today, Frances is Managing Attorney of her Elder Law Firm, specializing in estate planning, Medicaid planning, and advocacy against elder exploitation. She writes bi-monthly columns for Miami Community News and The Islander News, hosts a monthly elder-focused video blog, and has interviewed notable figures from Emmy-winning journalists to world champions. Her work continues to empower older adults and their families with knowledge, dignity, and voice.

• www.parentyourparents.com
• LinkedIn: H Frances Reaves, Esq. | Parent Your Parents
• Facebook: H Frances Reaves | Parent Your Parents USA

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Summary

In this episode of the Aging Together podcast, Dr. Pooja A. Patel interviews Allison Penna, a grief resilience coach, who shares her personal journey of caregiving and navigating grief after the loss of her husband. Allison discusses the challenges of caregiving, the importance of setting boundaries, and the need for self-care. She emphasizes the significance of building new networks and reconnecting with oneself after loss. The conversation highlights the often misunderstood nature of grief and the essential role of love and support in the caregiving process.

Takeaways

• Grief resilience is a life skill everyone can develop.
• Caregiving often leads to a loss of identity for caregivers.
• Setting boundaries is crucial for caregivers' mental health.
• Grief is often misunderstood, leading to isolation.
• Reconnecting with oneself is essential after loss.
• Building new networks is important after losing a loved one.
• Caregivers need to prioritize self-care and love themselves.
• Focus on quality time over completing tasks in caregiving.
• Grief can change relationships, requiring new boundaries.
• It's important to surround oneself with supportive people.

About the Guest

Alison Pena aka Bad Widow is a NYC-based grief resilience coach, speaker and bestselling author of The Bad Widow Guide to Life After Loss: Moving Through Grief to Live and Love Again. She became a primary caregiver during her husband's battle with cancer and a widow, when David died in 2016. He left her his mother, Joyce, to care for, since he was an only child. Alison has been her primary caregiver for the last 9 years, keeping her safe and loved at home until just before her 102nd birthday. Each phase of Joyce's increasing health issues brought new challenges they faced together.

Everyone grieves someone or something. That makes grief resilience a life skill. Alison developed Life After Grief Blueprint coaching for her bereaved clients with time-tested ways from her own experience to reconnect with themselves, re-engage in the world, reinvent their identities, rebuild their networks and reset their paths forward.

• https://BadWidow.com
• www.linkedin.com/in/alisonpena
• https://www.facebook.com/alison.pena

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Summary

In this conversation, Dr. Kim Harms, an end-of-life expert, shares her personal journey through grief and the importance of legacy planning. She discusses the concept of emotional insurance, the significance of building emotional legacies, and practical steps individuals can take to prepare for their end of life. The conversation also touches on navigating difficult conversations about death, overcoming procrastination, and the impact of cultural attitudes and spirituality on the end-of-life experience. Dr. Harms emphasizes the need for open discussions about death and encourages listeners to take proactive steps in legacy building.

Takeaways

• Dr. Harms emphasizes the importance of legacy planning for emotional well-being.
• Grief is a personal journey that requires time and effort to process.
• Emotional insurance is crucial for leaving loved ones in a healthy space after death.
• Practical steps for legacy planning include organizing important documents and writing letters.
• Difficult conversations about death can be framed as acts of love for family.
• Procrastination is a major barrier to effective end-of-life planning.
• Cultural attitudes towards death can influence how individuals prepare for it.
• Spirituality can provide comfort and purpose during the end-of-life journey.
• It's essential to educate future generations about death and legacy planning.

About the Guest:

Dr. Kimberly Harms has been around the block in life.  She has served as a Commissioned Officer in the United States Public Health Service, a dental school professor, a grief counselor, a death doula, a civil mediator, a clinical dentist with her late husband Jim in Farmington MN, a school board Chair, President of an international women’s organization, the first woman President of the Minnesota Dental Association, a National Spokesperson for the American Dental Association (21 years), Coach for Widows, an award-winning, best selling author and international speaker on the topics of grief, conflict and legacy planning and the cohost of the RethinkingDeath.Life Podcast.  She has also suffered many personal losses, including the deaths by suicide of her mother and son and the death by broken heart of her husband after their son’s death.  These days, she enjoys her most important role yet: mom to two remarkable kids and grandma to six delightful grandkids, splitting her time between Kansas City and Minneapolis to soak up every precious moment. 

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Summary

In this episode of the Aging Together podcast, Dr. Pooja A. Patel and Arvette M. Reid discuss the critical intersection of healthcare and financial planning for aging adults. Arvette shares her personal journey into elder care, emphasizing the importance of family conversations, the role of care managers, and the unique challenges faced by solo agers. They highlight the need for systemic changes in elder care policies, particularly regarding dementia care, and stress the importance of education and planning for families navigating these complex issues.

Takeaways

• Arvette Reid transitioned from a marketing career to elder care due to personal experiences.
• The importance of bridging healthcare and financial conversations for aging adults.
• Family meetings are crucial for effective care planning and decision-making.
• Solo agers face unique challenges and need a reliable support system.
• Care managers can provide essential support and coordination for families.
• Education and awareness are key for families navigating elder care.
• Dementia care often lacks adequate policy support and funding.
• Access to care is a primary concern for aging adults and their families.
• Planning ahead can alleviate family stress during healthcare crises.
• The intersection of healthcare and finance is vital for holistic care.

About the Guest

Arvette M. Reid, AIF, is a Healthcare Planning Strategist in the Virginia office of Signature Estate & Investment Advisors (SEIA), and she works in the practice’s Lifecare Affordability Plan® service. She joined SEIA in 2017 after working for 15 years as a marketing professional in the senior housing and healthcare industry, where her tenure spanned a range of independent living, assisted living, memory care, nursing care, and hospice care. Her ability to bring the financial and healthcare worlds together truly makes a powerful impact on how families, who are going through trying times, are holistically served.

Arvette’s deep commitment to civic engagement and local issues was established as a youth while visiting residents at Goodwin Living in her hometown of Alexandria, Virginia. Arvette most recently served on the boards of the Insight Memory Care Center and Senior Services of Alexandria, and is an active member of Jack and Jill of America, Inc. Arvette earned a Bachelor of Applied Science degree in Electrical and Electronics Engineering from the University of Virginia in 1992. In addition, she holds a Series 65 securities license, a Life & Health Insurance license, and she is an Accredited Investment Fiduciary (AIF) professional.

Contact

• [email protected] | seia.com/team/arvette-reid/
• 1650 Tyson Blvd, Suite 1575 | Tysons Corner, VA 22102

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Summary

In this episode of the Aging Together podcast, host Pooja Patel speaks with Amy Friesen, a bestselling author and expert in the senior living industry. They discuss the challenges and similarities in caregiving across borders, the importance of early planning, and the emotional toll on caregivers. Amy shares insights from her book 'Breadcrumbs' and emphasizes the need for support and resources for families navigating elder care. The conversation highlights the cultural expectations surrounding caregiving and the systemic changes needed to improve care for older adults.

Takeaways

• Caregivers often feel alone, but support is available.
• Planning early can alleviate future stress and challenges.
• Cultural expectations can complicate caregiving roles.
• Navigating healthcare systems requires advocacy and knowledge.
• There are significant differences in elder care between Canada and the US.
• Families should seek local professionals for guidance.
• Guilt is a common feeling among caregivers.
• Resources like associations can provide valuable support.
• The importance of community in caregiving cannot be overstated.
• Systemic changes are needed to improve elder care access.

About the Author: 

Amy has been recognized by the House of Commons for her 2018 Businesswoman of the Year Award as well as being a 2019 Forty Under 40 recipient.

Links: 

• www.facebook.com/teaandtoastinc/
• www.instagram.com/teaandtoastottawa/
• www.linkedin.com/company/tea-and-toast/
• www.youtube.com/@teaandtoastottawa

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Senior Living and Caregiving
• 02:46 Amy's Journey and the Inspiration Behind 'Breadcrumbs'
• 05:52 Navigating Elder Care: The Role of Care Navigators
• 08:52 Comparing US and Canadian Elder Care Systems
• 11:44 Challenges in Caregiving: Accessibility and Affordability
• 23:38 Pros and Cons of Private vs. Public Care
• 29:37 Cross-Border Caregiving Challenges
• 36:06 Navigating Healthcare Systems Across Borders
• 41:42 Understanding Legal Documents and Their Validity
• 47:41 The Need for Proactive Planning
• 51:43 Advice & Resources for Coordinating Care Across Borders
• 57:43 Systemic Changes Needed for Better Support
• 01:01:40 Key Takeaways from the Conversation

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Summary

In this episode of the Aging Together podcast, Dr. Pooja A. Patel speaks with Carol L. Stokes, JD, a caregiver coach and advocate. They discuss the challenges faced by caregivers, particularly women, and the importance of self-care, communication, and planning in caregiving. Carol shares her personal journey and insights on how caregivers can reclaim their sense of self and find support. The conversation emphasizes the need for systemic changes to support caregivers and the importance of education and resources in navigating caregiving responsibilities.

Takeaways

• Carol Stokes emphasizes the importance of self-care for caregivers.
• Many caregivers feel overwhelmed and alone in their responsibilities.
• Communication with medical providers is crucial for effective caregiving.
• Creating a plan can alleviate stress and prepare caregivers for emergencies.
• Women often bear the burden of caregiving due to societal expectations.
• Caregivers need to recognize their own health needs to avoid burnout.
• Establishing a support system can help distribute caregiving responsibilities.
• Education about caregiving resources is essential for families.
• Breathing techniques can help caregivers manage stress.
• Systemic changes are needed to provide financial support for caregivers.

About the Author

Carol L. Stokes is a caregiver coach, advocate, and writer passionate about supporting women and families through the tough, beautiful, and often overwhelming realities of caregiving. Drawing on her many years as Power of Attorney and daily advocate for a loved one facing mental illness and aging challenges, Carol crafts practical tools rooted in compassion and lived experience—not theory. She is the creator of the PEACE Plan, a simple, actionable framework that helps caregivers move from chaos and burnout to clarity, confidence, empowerment, and peace of mind. Through her story, her writing, and her one-on-one coaching, Carol’s mission is to help caregivers reclaim their sense of self, restore relationships, and rediscover hope—even in the hardest seasons. She believes that no caregiver should ever feel invisible, alone, or powerless.

Links

• Website: https://www.CarolLStokes.com
• LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/carol-l-stokes-9271b6a1
• Substack: https://substack.com/@carolstokes2
• PEACE Plan: https://carollstokes.kit.com/thebalanceblueprint

Chapters

• 00:00 Introduction to Caregiving and Advocacy
• 01:28 Carol's Journey: From Personal Experience to Professional Advocacy
• 11:21 The Overlooked Needs of Caregivers
• 23:13 Creating a Caregiving Plan: The Importance of Preparation
• 37:22 Communication: The Key to Effective Caregiving
• 43:22 Systemic Changes Needed for Caregiver Support

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Summary

In this conversation, Pooja & Annie explore the Montessori approach & its application in dementia care, particularly in intergenerational settings. Annie shares her extensive experience in working with both children & elders, emphasizing the importance of purposeful engagement & creating supportive environments. They discuss various activities that can benefit both age groups, the challenges faced in intergenerational care, & the significance of respite care for caregivers. The conversation also touches on the role of technology & resources available for families, as well as navigating regulations in intergenerational care settings. Ultimately, the discussion highlights the holistic benefits of integrating Montessori principles into daily routines for individuals of all ages.

Takeaways

• Montessori principles can be applied to all ages, not just children.
• Purposeful engagement is essential for both children & elders.
• Creating a supportive environment enhances participation.
• Routine helps reduce agitation in individuals with dementia.
• Respite care is crucial for caregivers' well-being.
• Intergenerational care fosters community and connection.
• Assessing individual abilities is key to successful engagement.
• Technology can provide valuable resources for families.
• Clutter-free environments promote focus and calmness.
• Flexibility & patience are important in caregiving. 

About the Author

Annie Kulik, MPH, CDP, CMDP is the founder of MonteBloom. She holds a Bachelors degree in Psychology, a Masters degree in Public Health, & is a Certified Dementia Practitioner, with over a decade of experience in the dementia care field. Her career has ranged from a Certified Nursing Assistant & Activities Assistant to leadership positions as a Director & Clinical Quality Care Manager. Her work has spanned in-home care, respite care, acute care, & long-term care settings. MonteBloom was born from the desire to fill the gap in resources available to caregivers who are caring for a loved one at home, providing them with the guidance & strategies they need to improve the quality of life for their loved ones & themselves.

Links

• Instagram: @montebloom.moments
• Website: www.montebloom.com
• Email: [email protected]
• Facebook Page: @MonteBloom

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Summary: 

In this conversation, Dr. Pooja A. Patel speaks with Kerry Flickner, vice president at Hartmobility, about the innovative SafetyGrip grab bar designed for individuals with compromised grip strength. They discuss the evolution of grab bars, the inspiration behind SafetyGrip, and the collaboration with KITE Rehab Research Institute. The conversation highlights the importance of aesthetics in product design, early adoption feedback, partnerships for community engagement, and future research on the product's effectiveness. Flickner emphasizes the need for better solutions for aging populations and the importance of educating caregivers and users about innovative safety products.

Takeaways:

• Safety Grip is designed for individuals with compromised grip strength.
• Traditional grab bars have not evolved significantly since the 1960s.
• User-centered design is crucial for creating effective safety products.
• Collaboration with research institutions enhances product development.
• Aesthetics play a significant role in the adoption of safety products.
• Early adopters are providing valuable feedback on Safety Grip.
• Partnerships with organizations can facilitate product integration into care plans.
• Research is ongoing to quantify the effectiveness of Safety Grip.
• The aging population requires innovative solutions for home safety.
• Education is key to changing perceptions about safety products.

Chapters:

00:00 Introduction to Season Four and Safety Grip
03:28 The Evolution of Grab Bars and User Needs
09:03 Designing for Real People: The Safety Grip Story
15:13 Understanding Grip Strength and Its Importance
20:37 Aesthetics vs. Functionality in Home Safety Products
25:55 Early Adoption and Feedback on Safety Grip
28:55 Integrating Home Modifications for Safety
34:31 Collaborations with Educational Institutions
37:25 The Future of Grab Bar Technology
42:34 Choosing the Right Grab Bar
46:08 Resources for Home Modifications
50:00 The Growing Need for Safety Solutions

We’re grateful to Hartmobility for supporting this season of our podcast and the journey of aging with dignity. To learn how SafetyGrip is making a difference in real lives, visit hartmobility.com.

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