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I am excited to share this episode with you not only because Kevin is a dear friend from college but because he is one of the most delightful and interesting people I know!    Our conversation in this episode includes:   

• What it’s like for non-traditional and African American fathers battling stereotype expectations about fatherhood
• How men’s bodies change once they become fathers, including decreases in testosterone
• The “father culture” of Sweden
• Fathers in prison
• “Dead Broke” Dads
• Reforming child support to include the economic value of “time spent.”
• Spoken and unspoken rules about storytelling and its impact on society

Kevin Maillard (kevinmaillard.com) is Professor of Law at Syracuse University and a contributing editor to the New York Times.  He specializes in Family Law, Constitutional Law, and popular culture. He also has written for The Atlantic and has provided on-air commentary to ABC News and MSNBC. He is the co-editor of Loving v. Virginia in a Post-Racial World (with Rose Villazor, Cambridge 2012).  An enrolled member of the Seminole Nation of Oklahoma, he is the author of the forthcoming 2019 children's book, FRY BREAD.  

Neill W. Clark, father of four, adds commentary to this conversation.

Enjoy!  

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This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

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Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is characterized by having a combination of obsessions (when you have repetitive persistent worries that are hard to dismiss) and compulsions or rituals (these provide temporary relief from obsessions).  These obsessions and compulsions are very disruptive - disruptive enough to create problems in one’s relationships, work, school or general functioning.  Do you think you have OCD or do you suspect a loved one or co-worker has it?  Learn about the true definition of OCD, evidence based treatments and helpful resources through this episode of Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra.  

I love the stories this guest shares!  Expert guest Dr. Allen Weg, psychologist, is the Co-Founder and President of the Board of OCD New Jersey, an affiliate of the International OCD Foundation.  He is the author and presenter of  "OCD Tips," a series of short YouTube video clips and the author of OCD Treatment Through Storytelling: A Strategy for Successful Therapy.  Dr. Weg has been featured as an OCD expert on on the ABC’s 20/20 and NPR’s Voices in the Family.  He is the Founder and Director of Stress and Anxiety Services of New Jersey (stressandanxiety.com), where he specializes in cognitive behavioral and other evidence-based treatment of OCD, PTSD, and other anxiety disorders.    Over 80% of Dr. Weg’s clients in his practice present with a primary diagnosis of OCD or PTSD.   To learn more about OCD Dr. Weg recommends iocdf.org.    Enjoy!  

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
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What topic interests you? Leave me a voicemail.

Individuals identified as having Borderline Personality Disorder may show some or all of these symptoms: intense emotions, frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, recurring conflict in relationships, impulsive or reckless behavior, self harm, chronic feelings of loneliness or boredom, frequent outbursts of anger, switching between loving someone and then hating them and suspiciousness about others.  

In this episode learn:  
What is Borderline Personality Disorder and how can we better understand it?
What it’s like for family members and loved ones and what can they do to cope or help?
How can things improve for individuals diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder?

Expert guest Emily Biggs-Heisler has worked on a treatment study at the New York State Psychiatric Institute comparing the effectiveness of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) in a population with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).  Her dissertation at Fairleigh Dickinson University in New Jersey is examining the interpersonal mechanisms of suicidal and non-suicidal behaviors in individuals diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder.  At Cognitive Behavior Consultants, New York City, she is implementing adherent DBT with adolescents and adults.  Lastly, Emily is serves as a Behavioral Health Consultant in an integrated setting at North Hudson Community Action Corporation in Passaic, NJ.  

Neill Clark, attorney, joined the conversation to bring a non-clinical perspective to this topic.  

To identify professionals with expertise in treating Borderline Personality Disorder consider behavioraltech.org as a start or search of Dialectical Behavior Therapy.  

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
4. Share a helpful YouTube episode with a friend
5. Leave the podcast a rating on iTunes
6. Leave the YouTube a rating on iTunes
7. Buy me a coffee:  buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra

What topic interests you? Leave me a voicemail.

If you haven’t had a chance to hear this podcast episode I highly recommend it!  Fascinating new learning from Robert McGrath, Ph.D. who just co-authored (with Ryan Niemiec) The Power of Character Strengths:  Appreciate and Ignite Your Positive Personality (https://www.amazon.com/dp/0578434296/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_-xVFCb972S2HK), a book which teaches us about positive psychology while offering practical “how to” ideas for self improvement.   The delightful conversation in this podcast offers interesting ideas and stories gleaned from Dr. McGrath’s world expertise on positive psychology, including:  
* What are the six virtues that religious and moral traditions across the planet have in common?
*  What have studies of over one million people determined to be the “essential three” virtues
*  What does it really take to be a good person?
* What are the roles of courage, curiosity and humor?
* What can Ben Franklin teach us about virtues?
* Can we have too much of a virtue?
* What happens if you are great at one virtue but lousy at another, are you still virtuous? 
*  Are virtues seen in animals?

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
4. Share a helpful YouTube episode with a friend
5. Leave the podcast a rating on iTunes
6. Leave the YouTube a rating on iTunes
7. Buy me a coffee:  buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra

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You and your loved one have each had busy and full working days and you both feel mentally and physically tired.  It’s now evening and you’re both home.  At this point, who continues to “work?”  Who is still seen moving  around - getting things cleaned, getting things ready, cooking, and caring for the needs of the home and/or children?  The time we spend working after working hours, which includes those evening times and weekend hours, is referred to as the “Second Shift,” a term coined by author Arlie Hochschild.   In this episode learn:
** What research has found about men and women today - who works more overall?
** How to discuss and negotiate the Second Shift responsibilities of living together
** Steps to take if your spouse or loved one doesn't wish to change

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
4. Share a helpful YouTube episode with a friend
5. Leave the podcast a rating on iTunes
6. Leave the YouTube a rating on iTunes
7. Buy me a coffee:  buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra

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Worry about the unknown can take up our precious time and energy.  We may feel like the worry is going to help us control the outcome, but chances are constant worrying about the unknown is wasting our time!  This podcast offers a few practical steps for productively dealing with the unknown so that we can instead turn our energy toward our more fulfilling, productive and meaningful commitments.  

Learn: 
*   Why our brains assume the worst when facing the unknown

*   How repeated chronic stress can leads to back and stomach pain

*   How to move out of the physical state of stress when it’s *bad*

*   How to mentally shift our perspective when facing the unknown

This podcast is dedicated to Ginnie’s House, a non-profit which offers free therapy for abused children.  Learn more or support them at ginnieshouse.org.  

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
4. Share a helpful YouTube episode with a friend
5. Leave the podcast a rating on iTunes
6. Leave the YouTube a rating on iTunes
7. Buy me a coffee:  buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra

What topic interests you? Leave me a voicemail.

Forgiving isn’t excusing or forgetting; it is a decision that gives greater physical and psychological health to the forgiver.  In this episode Dr. Enright provides profound insights into forgiveness including:

*  How and why forgiveness benefits the forgiver
*  Practical, proven steps on how to actually forgive
*  How to forgive after being betrayed by unfaithfulness
*  What five steps to take if you have been unfaithful 
*  What to do when the person you need to forgive is yourself
*  How to forgive someone who has already died
*  How to get over divorce anger
*  The unexpected and beneficial effects of offering mercy to the offender
*  How to prevent your own excessive anger from “living on” in your children and future generations

Dr. Enright is a professor of psychology at the University of Wisconsin, Madison and the pioneer of the scientific study of forgiveness.    He is the author of seven books, including ”8 Keys to Forgiveness” and the children’s book “Rising Above the Storm Clouds: What it’s Like to Forgive.”   He has been featured on ABC’s 20/20 and has been called the “Forgiveness Trailblazer” by Time Magazine.   Dr. Enright has developed forgiveness education programs in twelve countries across the globe.    Learn more about his work or support him at internationalforgiveness.com.

Please “give back” to this podcast by leaving us an awesome rating on iTunes!  Here are the steps to take to do so from an iPhone:  

1) Launch Apple’s purple Podcast app in your phone
2) Even if you already subscribe to / have Psychology America and it is open, tap “Search” 
3) Enter “Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra” 
4) Tap on the photo of the podcast
5) Scroll all the way down
6) Press the star rating you choose and/or tap the “write a review.”  For the highest rating tap the last star on the right first.  

Your review is appreciated!

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
4. Share a helpful YouTube episode with a friend
5. Leave the podcast a rating on iTunes
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I’ve been experiencing chronic pain in my arm very recently which I attributed to overuse from playing tennis.  This conversation got me really thinking about what this injury could mean on a deeper level.  In this episode my expert guest and I explore: 

• Can negative thoughts such as “unspeakable anger" manifest as pain in our bodies?
• Why is it that two people can show the same exact damage from an injury on an MRI but feel the pain in two very different ways?
• What are some steps we can take to help our chronic pain go away?   
• Can working through our past and present anger prevent chronic pain from emerging?

My guest for this episode, Dr. Jeff Axelbank, is a psychologist and expert on chronic pain.  Dr. Axelbank is a recipient of the New Jersey Psychological Association (NJPA) Psychologist of the Year Award and the Rutgers University Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP) Peterson Prize for outstanding contributions to professional psychology.    Learn more about his work and practice at www.jeffreyaxelbankpsyd.com.   Dr. Axelbank practices the Sarno approach to addressing chronic pain, of which more information can be found at www.tmswiki.org. 

An additional “fun fact’ about chronic pain that I learned while preparing this podcast but didn’t have a chance to mention was the relationship between norepinephrine and pain.  Norepinephrine is a neurotransmitter we produce in the brain that regulates our mood.  Certain  antidepressant medications  work by accessing  more norepinephrine. Norepinephrine travels from the brain  and through the body and inhibits pain in areas where it’s not useful for us to have pain, such as the stomach, joints and back.  When the body is constantly shooting messages of pain to the brain this is a stressor.  If, as a result of stress, we produce less norepinephrine to be distributed to the body, we will feel more pain in our back, joints and stomach.  This explains why antidepressant drugs like SNRIs that attempt to access more norepinephrine can be helpful for syndromes which cause joint pain and chronic pain, such as in Fibromyalgia.  

This episode is dedicated to Ginnie’s House, a non profit organization which provides100% free therapy for abused children. Learn more at GinniesHouse.org.  

If you have found value in listening to this or previous episodes, please leave Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra a rating, it truly makes a difference!  

How to leave a rating on iTunes

1) Launch Apple’s purple Podcast app in your phone
2) Even if you already subscribe to / have Psychology America and it is open, tap “Search”
3) Enter “Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra” 
4) Tap on the photo of the podcast
5) Scroll all the way down
6) Press the star rating you choose and/or tap the “write a review.”  For the highest rating tap the last star on the right first.  

Your review is appreciated!

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
4. Share a helpful YouTube episode with a friend
5. Leave the podcast a rating on iTunes
6. Leave the YouTube a rating on iTunes
7. Buy me a coffee:  buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra

What topic interests you? Leave me a voicemail.

In my podcast Episode 7 entitled “Commitment to Self Care and Self Care for Commitment” I discuss five life habits that I found helpful for taking care of my energy… because what good is free time if we have no energy within that free time to pursue our most meaningful commitments?  One of the strategies I mentioned is to take care of my sleep through the principles of “sleep hygiene.”    Since then listeners have asked for a podcast on this topic.  

My guest for this episode is Anna Urbaniak, who teaches sleep hygiene on a daily basis to US Veterans at the VA Hospital in East Orange NJ, USA.   Anna specializes in the treatment of anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD).

In this episode we learn about: 

• Practices we should follow to achieve our best sleep
• The link between sleep and larger appetite
•  How sleep deprivation affects our brains
• Teenager and elderly patterns of sleep
• Dividing sleep into two parts in the evening (bifurcated sleep)

This episode is dedicated to Ginnie’s House, a non profit organization which provides100% free therapy for abused children. Learn more at GinniesHouse.org.  

If you have found value in listening to this or previous episodes, please leave Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra a rating, it truly makes a difference!  
How to leave a rating on iTunes
1) Launch Apple’s purple Podcast app 
2) Tap “Search”
3) Enter “Psychology America with Dr. Alexandra” 
4) Tap on the photo of the podcast
5) Scroll all the way down
6) Press the star rating you choose and/or tap the “write a review”
Your review is appreciated!

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
4. Share a helpful YouTube episode with a friend
5. Leave the podcast a rating on iTunes
6. Leave the YouTube a rating on iTunes
7. Buy me a coffee:  buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra

What topic interests you? Leave me a voicemail.

*   Learn four ways to have a civil political discussion with someone with whom you disagree.

*   Learn how to talk politics when you and your family member are on opposites side of the political spectrum.

*   Learn what researchers have discovered about how terrorists think and how can this help us with our own heated discussions.

*   How does hate affect the brain?

*   Are love and hate opposite sides of the same coin?

*   Can the stress caused by disagreeing over politics get passed on to future generations ?

*   How can listening to understand (rather than to persuade) foster more civil discussions?

Guest Neill Clark shares his experiences about trying to have political discussions with family, friends and neighbors that foster understanding.   Neill explains how the skills he has learned as an attorney have sometimes hurt his efforts to have meaningful conversations.  Dr. Alexandra and Neill together suggest ways we can connect with and engage those with whom we disagree.

Support the show

This show was created with love.  The following are seven ways you can support and encourage my efforts to create new content, from easiest to hardest: 

1. Press “follow” on the podcast
2. Press “follow” on YouTube @alexandramillerclark
3. Share a helpful podcast episode with a friend 
4. Share a helpful YouTube episode with a friend
5. Leave the podcast a rating on iTunes
6. Leave the YouTube a rating on iTunes
7. Buy me a coffee:  buymeacoffee.com/dralexandra