Alex - I work at a large postal processing center. I am openly gay and have been for 15 years. Because the work is boring, my co-workers and I share a fair bit about our personal lives, I know about their relationships, kids, hobbies, etc and they know about my personal life. It has been plesant for years and I have never had a problem about my sexuality. In fact, none of us has ever made a big del about being heterosexual or homosexual.  

About three months ago, there was a change in the way that we process packages. It meant combining our area with another area and about twenty people were brought over to our side of the building. One of the people that came across to our side (lets call him Chris) is also gay. But for him, everything that he does or says is about being gay and anyone who doesn’t agree with him about something is loudly branded a homophobe. Chris frequently comments that I am not “gay enough” or that I am ashamed of being gay. Im not ashamed at all, I just don’t think that I need to make everything about sex, especially at work.  Now I am getting anonymous emails trying to shame me into being some sort of activist.  Im sure its Chris. How do I make this stop? - Dominic

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

Alex, Since I was a little girl, my Mom has bullied me and made fun of me to other family members. When I was a teenager, she would call me fat, made fun of my lack of boyfriends, and tell her sisters (my aunts) about every bad grade or failure. After I moved out, went to college to become an architect, and started my own life.

Last week, I discovered that my Mom has been sending letters to friends and family, saying that I am a deadbeat, that she couldn’t afford to go on a vacation this summer because she was still supporting me, she said that I had gained so much weight that she was embarrassed to be seen with me and hoped that I wouldn’t come for Thanksgiving this year. I can’t believe that she is telling my family lies about me. Since my first day of college (which I paid for) she has never supported me. I have been a size 16 since high school and I still am a size 16. I am so humiliated and feel so angry.

Alex I know that they say you can’t pick your family. But how do I get my Mom to stop lying about me to other people? How do I get her to come clean with my family that she has been lying all these years? What would you do in my situation? - Connie

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

Hi Alex, I have a really big, potentially career destroying problem. About ten years ago, while I was on Spring Break, I was filmed topless and drunk and ended up on a girls gone wild video. My college is listed. Thankfully my name isn’t on it, but I am right there, dancing around in bikini bottoms and nothing else. Not my proudest moment.

A couple weeks ago, one of the guys who is on my team started making weird, sexual comments to me when he passed my office or when we were alone in the elevator. At first I just thought he was really bad at pick up lines. So I pulled him aside and said that I was flattered, but I didn’t want to date anyone at work. He said that I should really reconsider and revealed that he had seen someone who looked like me on Girls Gone Wild, he asked a friend of his who attended the same college that I did, who confirmed the dumb, naked, drunk girl was me.  He actually said, “I would hate to accidentally let it slip out at a meeting that you were an embarrassing, drunk whore and the only way that I can know for sure that you aren’t is if you and I spend more time together.” I was dumbfounded.

Now what do I do? I mean obviously I am not interested in dating him. But, I don’t want to lose my job.  – Laura

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

Alex - I am living in hell. For about six months, I dated Amy. She was smart and sweet and I really enjoyed spending time with her. But, after the first couple months, it became clear to me that there wasn’t anything deeper. I didn’t want a big “talk” you know. I figured it would be better to kind of fade away, no hurt feelings.  Anyway, I started dating around for a few months and eventually met Karen. After a whirl wind romance, Karen and I got engaged. A month ago, I posted a picture of myself and Karen at our engagement party on my Facebook page. Within 20 minutes, Amy made a post on my page that said I was a cheater and that Karen was a home wrecking whore. I was shocked. I quickly erased the posted and sent her a text message telling her to knock it off. I also blocked her.

In response, Amy has posted all sorts of nasty things on her own Facebook page and other social media.  She posts all sorts of accusations about me cheating (which I never did) and that I am a user. She has even sent these types of accusations to me and mutual friends via email.

I have no idea why Amy is acting out like this, I mean I haven’t spoken to her in months. How do I get her to stop making my life hell? - Roger

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

Alex – I know that you help adults who are victims of bullies, but I am at a loss as to how to help my son.  He is in 7th grade and is being bullied by an 8th grade kid and his little gang. My wife and I have gone to the school to complain dozens of times, we have talked to my son’s teachers to keep an eye out, nothing seems to help. The school assistant principal suggested that my son is too sensitive and should be tested for psychological problems. My son is so stressed out about going to school that he doesn’t eat much, he withdraws from family and friends, he doesn’t seem to have any joy, and now he is lashing out at his Mom and me.

My son has been hit, spat on, called names, and had his money and property stolen by this gang of bullies and he is living in fear. But the school does nothing. Every day I drop him off, it breaks my heart. But I just don’t know how to help him.  - Jacob

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

Alex,  A new co-worker, let's call him Bob, is out for my job. He frequently comments about how he would do a better job and criticizes my appearance, my personal life, and my work performance.  He recently found out that our boss is a huge Trump supporter. I spent a lot of time during the last presidential election posting my opinions about Trump on Facebook. They were far from positive. Anyway, lately Bob has taken to screenshotting my old posts and emailing them around in a mass office email. The only person not included in the mass emails is my boss. Now Bob says that he will forward them to my boss unless I start praising him and suggesting that he is a better fit for my job.  I am really concerned that my opinions can cost me my job. - Gabby

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

Today's Ask Alex About Stalking and Bullying comes from Pauline who writes; 

Alex - You probably don’t get many requests for advice from bullies. But, here goes.  I spent years stalking and trolling, and generally causing trouble for people that I didn’t like. I made up stories and posted them online. I know that I hurt people’s feelings, damaged their reputations, and messed with their relationships. I really got off on the drama. I was unemployed, bitter, and bored. They were easy marks. I don’t have a better excuse.

About a year ago, I met a man who was raising his little boy on his own. I found that I didn’t have the desire or the time to bully people online, because I was spending so much time with my man and his son. We got serious and a few months ago, we got married and I plan to adopt Toby.  I couldn’t be happier. In fact, I just got certified to operate a day care from my home which allows me to stay how with Toby.

I recently made a website and Facebook page for my new day care. Unfortunately, one of the women who I pretty regularly savaged found out and has started a campaign of payback. Parents who signed up to put their kids in my day care are backing out, my neighbors are whispering, and my new husband can’t believe that I could have been so terrible before we met.  He is questioning who he married. I might lose my husband and son over this.  I know that I am not going to get much sympathy, but how to I make this woman stop destroying my life? - Pauline

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

Today's Ask Alex About Stalking and Bullying comes from Kim who writes; 

Alex, I owned a real estate office, that due to divorce and ill health struggled and finally closed two years ago.  While the entire process was painful and humiliating, the situation was made 1000% worse by a temp who took to the internet to slam me and the business. She only worked for me for two weeks and so she knew almost nothing about the problems and certainly didn’t know me or my husband or the other workers. 

For months after the business closed she made posts on social media that were bizarre, offensive, and damaging to my reputation.  Thankfully, she eventually stopped and I figured that she moved on and focused on some other poor soul.

Last month, I decided to go back to work in real estate as an agent for a large company. A couple days ago, the broker called me to his office and revealed that he had been sent social media posts claiming that I stole money from former clients, that I wasn’t a licensed agent, and all sorts of other lies. My broker who did the paperwork to transfer my license to his firm, knows that the posts are ridiculous. But he is still concerned that this nut’s posts will have a negative effect on his business. He’s right to be concerned. I don’t know why she is so fixated on me or why she is doing this. I don’t know how to make her stop. I sent her an email asking her to stop and she responded that she can post whatever she wants under the First Amendment. Help!  -  Kim

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

Today's Ask Alex About Stalking and Bullying comes from Vivian who writes; 

Alex,

I have been bullied online by an anonymous person for a long time. I don’t know for sure,  but I think that it is my ex husband and his girlfriend. I haven’t seen him face to face in years. We have kids, which he hasn’t seen or supported, ever. But every once in a while I have emailed photos of the children. Sometimes he is cordial and really pleasant. Sometimes he says he loves me.  Other times I'm not even sure if its him on the other end of the email. Responses are nasty, and personal, and hurtful.  Anyway, its been two years since we last had communication and that ended badly, a new round of anonymous bullying started soon after and lasted for about 4 months.  Now all is quiet.

Then, out of the blue, last week he emails me “how ya doing” nothing else. I don’t know what to do. Should I respond? Will it make the bullying start again if I do…or if I don’t? What if he finally wants to have a relationship with his kids and I don’t respond and deny him that? What if he isn’t behind this at all and its some complete stranger, but I am keeping him at arms length because that little voice in my head says that he is behind it? I know that you suggest people break the big complex problems into small bites, but I just keep going in circle and making myself crazy. What should I do?  Vivian

PR & Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell answers question about stalking, bullying, online harassment, and hate campaigns, and helps adults deal with personal and professional reputation crises to ultimately rebuild a stronger, more resilient, and joyful brand and life. AlexandreaMerrell.com

In this episode, PR and Crisis Management expert, Alexandrea Merrell discusses harassment and hate campaigns. Harassment and so called "hate campaigns," which focus on bullying and harassing an individual or group based on perceived sexuality, religion, physical characteristic, or membership in a particular group is on the rise. Technology makes information gathering and attacks easy and often anonymous.  This episode defines actionable harassment and hate campaigns as a first step for individuals, professionals, and business owners/managers to effectively combat the epidemic in their personal and professional lives and work places.  

If you are being bullied, stalked or harassed and would like more information about protecting yourself, your family, and your business, you can reach out to me through my website or social media. I will start answering listener and viewer questions shortly. 

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