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Alexine Cleans: Barely Fiction
Alexine Cleans: Barely Fiction episodes
- 12. Legit Cleaning Tips
Alexine gives you the nitty gritty on cleaning; it's more interesting than you might expect. She brags about her new arrangement for hair care.
She gets into the dollars and (non) cents of her (soon to be EX) boss' business.
She describes the right time and place to get a cocaine habit.
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically: WolfieRankin, ShimSewn, Reitanna, HeyMelzy
Credit:
Black Christmas (1974)
Inside Out (2015)
Batman, (1966)
Ghosts N Stuff, deadmau5
Taxman, The Beatles
The Golden Child (1986)Written, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...12 min - 11. The Reverend, Liquid Cocaine & Nourishing Deodorant
Alexine lets her hair down and has some FUN with her friend Sheen, another 'double bubble'! The rockabilly world is working for them both.
She pontificates on the sexiness of women in all sizes.
She manages to get through another day of cleaning while hung-the-fuck-over.
SFX: from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically:
Gaiterjay, LeeMuffin, RomanHoltwick, SystemShock, OwlStorm, Tomlija, Escortmarius, StarvingPony, CaseyMoura, Florianreiche, FelixBlume, ArtNinja
Credit:
Galaxy 500, The Reverend Horton Heat
Echoes of the Past, Max Hixon
Cheech & Chong Up in Smoke (1978)
Tropic Thunder (2008)
Cristela (2014)
The Loved Ones (1965)
Terry Crews, Old SpiceWritten, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...13 min - 10. Podcasts & Dog Fuckers
Alexine introduces us to some of her fav classic podcasts and explains what it's like to hear Americans talk about things now that she lives outside of the States; Dear Gawd.
She compares the beloved Dyson stick vac with old-school carpet suckers.
She shares a true poo confession and her frustration with dog-fuckers.
And elaborates on a few feats from her glory days before being fired at the Resort.
Then starts to think seriously about quitting the cleaning company she works for and poaching her clients on the way out...
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically: HDvideoguy, Samuel, Craigsmith, JellyDaisies, SuddenDice, SamanthaCastleberry, Qubodup, Kyles, SacredMatt
Credit: Marilyn Monroe
Give Peace a Chance, John Lennon and Yoko Ono
Little Shop of Horrors (1986)
MSE-6 Droid, Star Wars (1980)
MIL@PIT Elmore Safe
Oh Brother Where Art Though (2000)
The 3 Stooges
300 (2006)Written, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...13 min - 9. Turd Talk & Shoulder Sex
Alexine tells us more than we want to know about her should pain relief and having a 'moment' on a massage table.
Her love for dog breasts, yes, dog breasts.
And we hear about the first time she took her 14 year old son Harvey to the hospital after a reaction to his latest drug of choice.
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically: innominatus, ertfelda, tourismandhospitality
Credit:
Fresh bowl, Ally McBeal
Turtle head, Fat Bastard, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Family Feud
and
Aubrey Sharp as HarveyWritten, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...13 min - 8. Cold Concrete & a Furtive Hubby
Alexine introduces us to a couple of cleans in luxury homes; one is stark and cold, the other is cluttered and cozy.
She compares her pained body to the ladies of these grand properties.
She finds friendship with Cairo, the family dog, even if her shoulders pay the price.
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically: zaku18, matrixxx.
Credit:
eerie choir, 2001: Space Odyssey
stay on target, Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope
Marge groan, The SimpsonsWritten, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...11 min - 7. The Fall of the Bigfoot Believer & Welfare Tupperware
Alexine reflects on what exactly ruined the perfect bulge, that whole soul mate idea and yet another level of self care.
The likelihood of a 'lipless wonder'... is that even possible?!?
Oh and ball trimmers...
I used a few seconds of Capricho Arabe by Nylon Bliss and added the entire song at the end of the episode because it's incredible and you will LOVE it!
SFX from Artlist, Zapsplat, and Freesound.org;
Specifically: knightof chaos, shesaystv, reitanna, erokia, hardwareshaba.Written, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...16 min - 6. Rad Fluid & the Sprinkler Head
Alexine shares her current car woes, looks back on childhood beaters and wonders whether or not backyard mechanics need penises or not.
This episode's artwork shows her in her home away from home; ready to launch a wad of what? And you'll find out about her handy friend who now sports a penis.
Wow, that's a lot of penises in an episode description.
Credit:
The Princess Bride movie
Artlist Music:
Magnify - Aves
Pour Me a Cup of That - Novembers
Love on the Dance Floor - WEARETHEGOOD
SFX:
Artlist, Zapsplat, freesound.orgWritten, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...10 min - 5. The Cheddar Lover & the Cretan
Alexine has a tasty experience while cruising the deli section.
She tells you about some of the wide variety of characters that she cleans for.
And oh, then there's Apollo... just wait til you hear about him!
Credit:
What What - Brick City Kids
How Do You Want It - 2Pac
I'm Alright - Mop Top
Street Dreams - Nas
Gin and Juice - Snoop Dogg - performed by Richard Cheese
Artlist Music:
Mojave Sojourn - Stephen Beddall
Hot Sunset - Tony Peterson
Good Vibes Only - Balloon Planet
SFX:
Zapsplat, Artlist, Three StoogesWritten, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...15 min - 4. MILFs & Something Wonderful
Alexine gets real about body image, Facebook dating, sexual attraction and arousal when you're over 50.
And yes, that's Bigfoot serving her and her coffee date... check it out!
Again, brace yourself!
Artlist music:
Temperatura - Yarin Primak
Northern Lights - Borden Lulu
Think About Lights - Ben Fox
Afterparty - Balloon Planet
SFX: Zapsplat, Artlist, freesound.org, moviesounds.orgWritten, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...13 min - 3. Enter Scrappy Coco
This episode takes you from The Zohan to Joey Diaz to The Revenant...
Find out about Alexine's humble digs, her beloved old dog and her love of getting crafty!
Learn more about her son Harvey and his own story telling skills.
<<link to the YouTube vid OR find it on Apple podcasts, ListenNotes, Deezer, Pocket Casts, Podchaser, Player FM, and it should show up on iHeart radio and Alexa / TuneIn any day.>>
Credit:
Don't Mess With The Zohan
Joey Diaz - A Santeria Prediction - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored
Joey Diaz on Joe Rogan Experience Short
Artlist music:
Autumn Waves - REX BANNER
Still Got The Fuse - RAN RAITEN
Cool Cats - FAMILY KUSH
Keeping Routine - RAN RAITEN
Everlasting Flower - DaniHaDani
SFX: ZapslatWritten, narrated and produced by AMY FRAHM SHARP
For more info: https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/...
https://www.instagram.com/alexinecleans/
...12 min
About Alexine Cleans: Barely Fiction
From the publisher's feed
Along with her own financial chaos, Amy Sharp had a 14 year old son hellbent on trying every street drug he could find. In an attempt to save her sanity, she started writing a story about the inner…
world of a woman like herself, living on the BC coast while her reality rippled and rolled._______
A year later, she had a professionally edited 93,000 word manuscript. After more twists and turns, she got a grant from Canada Media Fund to create the first episode in video.______
Alexine's sex positive story is heavy on grit, light on vanilla, peppered with F-bombs and a few juicy sex scenes. The purpose of the project is to uplift working class women over 40, not just moms but all those everyday heroes of every colour, through levity and examples of strength. _____
Written, narrated and produced by Amy Sharp
https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/
_______
Reviews:
It was over too quickly, left me wanting to hear more. I love it.
A year later, she had a professionally edited 93,000 word manuscript. After more twists and turns, she got a grant from Canada Media Fund to create the first episode in video.______
Alexine's sex positive story is heavy on grit, light on vanilla, peppered with F-bombs and a few juicy sex scenes. The purpose of the project is to uplift working class women over 40, not just moms but all those everyday heroes of every colour, through levity and examples of strength. _____
Written, narrated and produced by Amy Sharp
https://alexinereads.com
Artwork BRAD COLLINS https://bradcollinsart.com/portfolio/
_______
Reviews:
It was over too quickly, left me wanting to hear more. I love it.
- Natasha | Delightful Doula. ____
That was great - congratulations - your sense of humour is wonderful - good luck with this
- Wayne | Happy Grandpa. ____
Alexine Cleans will leave you in stitches! Her brazen honesty and unabashed inner-dialogue is like a refreshing drink from a cold glacial stream. Her humanity shines through and reminds us that there is beauty and humour in the every day moments.
- Alix K. | Tough City Sister.____
More reviews that are specifically for the video version of Episode 1 which has the same audio as the podcast:
--link to that YouTube vid in this podcast's Episode 1 show notes-- _____
It’s so cute and funny and unexpected. The formatting is like nothing I’ve ever seen before, gives it a bit of a live-comic book feeing to it. This is truly innovative and super original and fun.
- Tessa N. | Acupuncturist & hawt momma.____
Alexine is a transparently honest, ribald romp of an experience that not one woman who has either been there or almost been there should miss. Whether you can relate or not, this book brings the reader into the mighty fold of a bright, witty woman being real on a level like no one else can claim. And it's animated with sound! Best kind of vicarious cleaning fun you can have in your own comfy armchair life. You'll wish Alexine was your best friend.
-Marcine P. | Badass, Vilcabamba Ecuador.____
You have a great way to tell a story, very appealing! I love the illustrations; you guys sure worked out some kick ass eye catchers!
-Zane S. | Broadcaster, Vancouver Island._____
I am stoked to see your project realized, it is so good and true and raw! I also see this being a great basis for a dramady-sitcom, with a lot of banging flashbacks, maybe a web series?
-Colin R. | dog lover_____
The first chapter of Alexine Cleans was funny, witty, and intriguing. The visuals are something I've never seen before and they were awesome! It's inspiring to hear her story and I can't wait to watch the rest!
- Chantal S | superstar