By Chimes
Originally written by English author Lewis Carroll in 1865, this is a fantasy story of a little girl named Alice who falls through a rabbit hole into a mysterious world. The story is broken into tw
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The podcast currently has 13 episodes available.
The White Rabbit calls Alice to the witness stand. She forgets that she has risen in size and knocks over the jury table, scrambling to reassemble all of the jurors. Alice appears to know "absolutely nothing" about the tarts. Rule 42, which says, "All persons higher than a mile high must leave the court," is interjected by the King. Everyone's attention is drawn to Alice, who denies being a mile tall and accuses the King of making up the law. The King responds that Rule 42 is the book's oldest rule, but Alice counters that if it is the book's oldest rule, it should be the first rule.
As the debate continues, the Queen demands that the sentence be read before the verdict. Alice criticizes the Queen, who has called for Alice's execution. By then, Alice had reached her full size. Alice awakens unexpectedly and finds herself back on her sister's lap on the riverbank. She tells her sister about her adventures. Alice walks away, leaving her sister daydreaming on the riverbank. She sees the characters from Alice's adventures, but she knows the images will fade when she opens her eyes. She envisions that Alice will reach adulthood she will find pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own child-life.
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When Alice enters the courtroom, she discovers the King and Queen of Hearts sitting on their thrones, surrounded by a swarm of animals and the entire deck of cards. The Knave sits chained in front of them. Alice looks around the room, delighted in remembering the different features of a court of law that she has read about.
As a spokesman for the court, the White Rabbit reads the charge that the Knave of Hearts has stolen the Queen's tarts. With a teacup and a piece of bread and butter, the Mad Hatter appears as the first witness. The King asks the Hatter to take off his hat, but the Hatter refuses, saying that he does not own the hats and just sells them. As Alice observes, she notes that she has resumed her growth. The court session continues, and everyone continues to debate and have conflicting interests, the King orders the next witness to take the stand, and the White Rabbit summons Alice.
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The Mock Turtle sighs and sobs some more before eventually asking Alice if she has ever seen a lobster. Alice comes close to saying she's had one, but she stops herself and clearly says no. The Lobster-Quadrille is described by the Mock Turtle and the Gryphon as a dance in which all sea animals (except jellyfish) join forces with lobsters, advance from the seashore, and throw the lobsters out to sea. Even though they don't have any lobsters, the Mock Turtle and Gryphon decide to show Alice the first figure of the Lobster-Quadrille.
The Mock Turtle sings a song about whiting and a snail as they dance. After they've finished dancing. The Mock Turtle sings "Turtle Soup" after Alice requests it. The Gryphon hears the cry and states"The trial has begun!" and whisks Alice away as the Mock Turtle finishes the tune.
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The croquet game resumes after the Cheshire Cat has vanished, and the Duchess takes Alice's arm. The two begin to walk, and Alice becomes irritated by the Duchess's near proximity to her. The Duchess uses every opportunity to teach Alice different moral lessons as they walk and speak. They come across the Queen, who tells the Duchess to leave and asks Alice to resume the croquet game.
The Queen quickly reduces the croquet game to Alice, the King, and herself. Many of the other characters have been sentenced to death. When there are no more soldiers to pose as arches, the Queen calls a halt to the game and orders Alice to pay a visit to the Mock Turtle. The Queen takes Alice to the Gryphon, who leads her to the Mock Turtle. The Gryphon explains to Alice on the way that the Queen never kills anyone. When Alice first sees the Mock Turtle, she is worried because he seems to be sad.
The Mock Turtle starts his story by revealing that he used to be a real turtle. Every day, he went to sea school, where his instructor was an elderly turtle called Tortoise. He then goes on to explain his education, which he claims is the best available. Reeling and Writing, as well as Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision, were among the peculiar subjects he studied. When Alice inquires about the duration of the lessons, the Mock Turtle responds that they've become shorter with each passing year. This perplexes Alice, but the Mock Turtle explains that they were given the name lessons because they "lessen." When Alice inquires about what happened when there wasn't enough time for classes, the Gryphon shifts the conversation to sports.
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When Alice enters the greenhouse, she encounters three card-shaped gardeners. While painting the white roses on the rose trees red, the gardeners' Two, Five, and Seven argue with each other. When the gardeners notice Alice, they explain that they have accidentally planted white rose trees and must paint them red before the Queen of Hearts notices. The Queen appears at that exact time, followed by a large number of living playing cards. The Queen inquires about the shivering gardeners but Alice saves the gardeners by hiding them in a flower pot and leaves to play croquet with the Queen. When Alice arrives at the croquet match, the White Rabbit tells her that the Duchess is facing execution for boxing the Queen's ears.
The Queen's peculiar version of croquet is proving difficult for Alice to adapt to. The Queen screams angrily for everyone's beheading as she plays. Alice tries to flee the croquet match, but the Cheshire Cat's smile catches her eye. When the Cheshire Cat inquires about her well-being, Alice starts to complain about the Queen's odd behavior. The King overhears the exchange and tries to bully the Cheshire Cat, but the Cheshire Cat refuses to respond to his teasing. The King becomes enraged and orders the Queen to take the Cheshire Cat away. The Queen orders its beheading carelessly, but the executioner and the King can't agree on how to kill the Cheshire Cat. They approach Alice, who recommends they seek advice from the Cheshire Cat's owner, the Duchess. The Cheshire Cat has disappeared completely by the time the Duchess arrives.
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The Mad Hatter and the March Hare are having tea at a large table set outside the March Hare's home with their elbows leaning on a sleeping Dormouse. They suggest there isn't enough space at the table for Alice, but she sits anyway. Alice is offered wine by the March Hare, but none is available. Alice accuses the March Hare of being impolite, to which he replies that she was impolite in sitting down without being invited.
When Alice criticizes him for his rudeness, he ignores her and answers with a riddle: "Why is a raven like a writing desk?" When Alice tries to solve the riddle, she learns that he doesn't know it either. She advises him not to waste time asking riddles for which there are no answers. Time is a "him," not an "it," the Mad Hatter states calmly. He goes on to say that Time has been agitated since the Queen of Hearts said the Mad Hatter was "murdering time" while performing a bad song. Since then, Time has remained set at six o'clock, indicating that they are still having tea. The March Hare gets bored with this conversation and says he'd like to hear a story, so they wake up the Dormouse. The Dormouse tells a story, and Alice interrupts it with so many questions that the Dormouse becomes offended. Alice keeps asking questions until the Mad Hatter insults her, at which point she storms off in disgust.
Alice comes across a tree with a door while walking through the woods. She returns to the great hall after entering the door. Alice goes to the table with the key and uses the mushroom to grow large enough to reach the key, then shrink small enough to fit through the door. She passes through the door and eventually reaches the garden passageway.
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Alice finds a fish dressed in a footman's attire entering the house and knocking on the door. A frog dressed similarly to the Duchess answers the door and delivers a letter inviting her to play croquet with the Queen. Alice approaches the Frog Footman after the Fish Footman has left. The Frog Footman refuses to open the door when Alice knocks on it. When Alice walks through the entrance, she finds herself in a kitchen where a Duchess is nursing a baby, a cat sits on the fireplace, and a Cook is pouring pepper into a boiling pot of soup.
Meanwhile, the Cook throws fire-irons, saucepans, and plates at the Duchess and the baby at random. Alice advises the Cook to mind her own business and tries to shift the conversation's focus by mentioning the earth's axis. When the Duchess misunderstands Alice and thinks she's concerned about axes, she exclaims, "Chop off her head!" The Duchess then throws the baby and Alice and leaves.
When Alice takes the baby outside, she learns it is really a pig. After she releases the pig, she runs into the Cheshire Cat, which is grinning widely as it sits on a tree branch. When she asks the Cheshire Cat where she should go next, he informs her that she will end up somewhere no matter where she goes. The Cheshire Cat suggests she meet the Mad Hatter and the March Hare but advises her that they are both insane. Alice makes her way to the March Hare's home. Alice eats a piece of the Caterpillar's mushroom after realizing the house is bigger than she is and grows to be two feet tall.
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Alice comes across a Caterpillar who is smoking and sitting on top of a giant mushroom. "Who are you?" the Caterpillar asks Alice after they look at each other in silence for a moment. The Caterpillar summons Alice to read a poem when she decides to leave. The Caterpillar corrects her pronunciation of the poem and then asks what size she would like to be. The three-inch-tall Caterpillar is offended by Alice's comment that being three inches tall is a wretched height. The Caterpillar walks away after telling Alice that eating one side of the mushroom would make her grow bigger while eating the other will make her shrink.
Alice has regained her normal size and is wandering through the forest in search of the garden when she comes across a four-foot-tall tower. She plans to pay a visit to the house and consumes the mushroom part to minimize her height to nine inches.
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Alice is confronted by the White Rabbit, who is searching for his gloves and fan. Alice searches for it too but is unable to locate them. The White Rabbit misidentifies Alice as his housemaid, Mary Ann, and orders her to retrieve his belongings from his home. Alice is startled by the Rabbit's demands, but she obeys and quickly locates his home. She thinks about how odd it is to take orders from animals while she walks, and she imagines her cat Dinah ordering her around when she gets home. She discovers the gloves and fan inside the home, as well as a small bottle labeled "DRINK ME." Alice drinks the liquid, curious as to what the contents of the bottle would do. She begins to grow significantly before she can finish, and she can barely fit in the room.
Alice concludes that her adventures are akin to a fairy tale and dreams of one day writing her own tales. She reasoned that, with her new height, she had grown up and would never age. The White Rabbit asks for his fan and gloves, interrupting her line of thought. He attempts to break into the home, but Alice's gigantic arm keeps the door shut. The Rabbit attempts to climb through the window, but Alice deflects him with her enormous hand. When Alice swats them away again, the Rabbit summons his servant, Pat, and the two begin plotting a plan to deal with her. The Rabbit and Pat enlist the help of another servant, a lizard called Bill, to descend the chimney, but Alice sends him flying with her foot. Inside, a crowd assembled, calling for the house to be set on fire. They start throwing pebbles through the window at Alice's face after she tries to send Dinah to get them. The pebbles turn into cakes, and Alice eats one and shrinks, reasoning that the cakes could cause her to shrink. When she leaves the home, she is surrounded by a group of animals that are ready to attack her.
Alice flees into the woods, where she ponders how she can regain her usual size and locate the garden. She comes across a massive mushroom and climbs to the top, where she discovers a blue caterpillar.
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When Alice and the other animals arrive at the bank, they concentrate on getting dry. The Mouse tells everyone to sit down and listen to a history lesson. The Mouse claims that the tale of William the Conqueror is the best because it is the driest tale it is familiar with. Alice and the other animals are still wet after the tale is over, causing the Dodo to propose a Caucus race. The Dodo plans a course, positions everyone, and yells "go!" The animals run around aimlessly until the Dodo announces the race is over half an hour later. The Dodo announces that they have all won the Caucus race and nominates Alice to present the prizes. Alice distributes mints to all of the animals, but she is left without a reward. She finds a thimble and gives it to the Dodo, who returns it to her as her reward.
The Mouse announces that it will share its tale after they finish their mints. When Alice mixes up the words "tale" and "tail". The Mouse scolds Alice for not paying attention, and despite Alice's apology, the two contradict each other, and the Mouse storms out. The other animals mourn the Mouse's absence, and Alice expresses her desire for her cat Dinah to return to the Mouse. Alice proceeds to warn the animals that Dinah eats birds, causing them all to flee in panic. Alice, alone once more, starts to weep before she hears the tinkling of footsteps in the distance.
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The podcast currently has 13 episodes available.