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Justin gets summer schooled this week on divas, the queer-coded sissy, and sapphic power dynamics. There’s also Jafar, fleshlights clued to stumps, a sea of red flags, Phoebe’s suicide, personal assistants, phallic celery, a broken bottle of absinthe, lesbians with moving vans, Drunk Justin, the single white female, RIP vaccines and poppers, pretending to be passed out, All About Me, several very dry martinis, the War of 1812 vs 9/11, agents of chaos, old school sexual innuendo, reinventing one’s self, and peeing on a wall outside Gator’s.

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