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Unhinged. That’s the word of the day with this penultimate media Ronnie and Justin covered this week. Well we have two different teachers wrongly accused of having sex with students (for once). Along with that there’s children in pubs and breweries, Ronnie coming out to his parents, Lady Gaga’s “Alejandro,” a torn rectum, a porn parody, missing Stabler’s ass, the K-Pop group BX9, Buster Bluth, too many prep schools, never being alone with a student, Waldenbooks pedos, Mr. Happy, a Gone with the Wind bedroom, Martha freaking Stewart, Kim Davis, a janitor going through several pairs of blood pathogen gloves, ghost hunting in a biology lab, what kind of a name is Pippa Cox, the police and gay men, the clap and play box, Cooper’s pooper, falling in a toilet, and two bitchy teens. 

Exit ticket: Ronnie has beef with the education microinfluencers out there and found a recent Reddit thread to back him up. A teacher got into teaching in order to finally find her “brand” and boy is she in for a rude awakening. And teachers, stop it with the Pinterest classrooms.

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We are Dawn Weiner. We are Weiner Dog. Unite with the host and discover the hilarious trauma of being a picked on middle school student. Along the way there’s Happiness, Owen Mills Picture Studios, baked beans, shitting on command, locker graffiti, garage band nightmares, mean teachers, Lolia and Brandon’s future deaths from fentanyl, dignity, background music for Epstein’s plane, tattletale trauma, scheduled sexual assault, a sprained finger, the prolific use of the f word and r word, The Special People Club, sending DoorDash to the White House, a song that is Jewish appropriation, a Lego telephone, free McDonalds and control over the remote.

 Exit ticket: Based on the field trip to an Indigo Girls and Melissa Etheridge concert and discussion on the car ride home, Justin pitches an outline for a musical called Welcome to the Dollhouse: A JonBenet Ramsey Musical featuring the music of Melissa Etheridge. Prepare to be appalled. 

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DISCLAIMER:  When experimenting with a new filter in Riverside, portions of our audio got cut off. This should be the final episode we this in. We apologize for any inconvenience.  Stick with us! We're still learning!

Otis and Maeve form a business which offers sexual advice to their peers. Sure. Sounds legit. They believe in sex positivity at Think, Pair, Swear. They also believe in Aimee Lou Wood, guys faking it, eaves dropping, abandoned bathhouses, head boy, Trump’s asbestos plans, finding out what Curly Wurlies are, correcting bad graffiti on bathroom stalls, erotic art, smoking a spliff with a mom, homophobia’s comeback, vaginas, medically talking down a boner, expulsion for showing the lunchroom one’s penis, successful sex in the dark, another teen party, the hook-up phase, a good getting ready to go out playlist, getting spanked for being sick, the Jimmy Swaggart Bible College, funeral stories, the power of a poop panty-liner, trying to break into the “stuck up gays” clique, banana demonstrations, bad choir renditions of “Since U Been Gone,” and discussing the gag reflex at a swim meet. 

Exit ticket: Ronnie and Justin watch for the first time live a sexual education video from the 1950s and react to its content. Yes it’s a rip off of Mystery Science Theater and yes it’s still funny. He’s a link to the free YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfWi54Yef5M 

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DISCLAIMER:  When experimenting with a new filter in Riverside, portions of our audio got cut off. This anomaly will happen over the next 1 0r 2 episodes We apologize for any inconvenience.  Stick with us! We're still learning!

Well Justin wasn’t a fan so no introduction to David Lynch awaits him. Ronnie wasn’t a fan either. Still. You know, Donny. He was a character in this movie. There was also 80s music, remembering elections in 2028, taking pills without water, The Pitt, watching Titanic in Health (again), Patrick Swayze’s ass, parents who ban books their kids never read, the cutest boy in class, Sunday School debates, Smurfette, flooding one’s basement, “Oh come on. I said ‘Good morning’!”, character education, Pointless Bullshit I’m Supposed-to-do, Ling-Ling and the fear love line, Charita’s ear muffs, Ronnie still jobless and becoming Grandma Death, a bathroom stall at Missy B’s, a marijuana question, school district initiatives, translucent bubbles, baby glasses, conservatives covering for pedos, costume parties, and how someone run over by a Trans-Am would really look. 

Exit ticket: A school psychiatrist disagrees with how administration is handling a student with (perhaps) autism and took the problem to Reddit. Ronnie and Justin are on the same page for once with this one. 

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DISCLAIMER:  When experimenting with a new filter in Riverside, portions of our audio got cut off. This anomaly will happen over the next 2 or 3 episodes We apologize for any inconvenience.  Stick with us! We're still learning!

The facts of life are all about you and your bitchy dormmates and your dim witted house-mother. Yeah, they said it. Mrs. Garrett was kinda stupid. The hosts get into this made-for-TV nightmare of girls narrowly escaping being sex trafficked while their chaperone abandons them to bang a hotel restaurant owner. And there’s also no anal, French schools that don’t teach French, Jo is such a dyke “jokes,” whether or not American Express will still cash old travelers checks, tales from EF Tours past, 40+ year old men sexually harassing Blair, alcoholics hanging out with children, bad menage a trois, the hairiest chest ever seen on film, hotels with peep holes in the walls, shower nozzles, farmer’s market theft, Facts of Life fan fiction, the aristocrats, “child muses,” dill, teeth on a baguette, magical passports, and Justin’s theory that between the third and fourth acts of the movie, everyone on the cast had sex.

 Exit ticket: It’s time for the game show “Was this a real episode from Facts of Life or did Ronnie make it up?” Justin’s in the hot seat and the loser has to buy something for the other host inspired by the movie. 

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DISCLAIMER:  When experimenting with a new filter in Riverside, portions of our audio got cut off. This anomaly will happen over the next 3 0r 4 episodes We apologize for any inconvenience.  Stick with us! We're still learning!

Justin and Ronnie work through some family trauma via the title character Lady Bird as they sort through a senior year at a Catholic high school. Of course there’s the typical digs at Ronnie’s age and how he no longer has a job, but they also get into the history of the Pony Express, family arguments that make one want to jump out of a moving car, Sondheim high school musicals, Rodney and Jared, themed high school dances, causing thy brother to stumble, the Assemblies of God rules for young adults, missing gradebooks, Howard Zinn’s A People’s History of the United States, guys who use natural deodorant, coaches who know Shakespeare, Ronnie’s first knowledge of Ash Wednesday, high school friendships ending, parental arguments where awful things are said, Duran Duran’s “Seven and the Ragged Tiger,” another prom, job interview panic attacks, liking your kids vs loving your kids, ugh “Crash Into Me,” buying lottery tickets on your 18th birthday, found letters, and that phone call home after you move out. 

Exit ticket: Speaking of finding letters, Justin found some from his mom in her personal effects. He reads it for us. 

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Justin and Ronnie were not fans, but they powered through. They tried to figure out why someone who doesn’t want to teach wants to remain a teacher, and oh yeah. There are a lot of teachers in that boat, but not all over them are attempting satire. This is multiplied by donkey shows, narcissism, adult film clubs, a school board president with the inability to read the room, Bennigan’s next to a mall where white people used to shop, AP and College Board, formaldehyde, Central Office and school board visits, professional development hell, unpunished car vandalism, butchered hogs on a teacher desk, being drunk by 5PM, how to find the best parking spot at school, Kyle and a broken fan, having you own office chair, hot classrooms next to the restroom, a Boner Palace, water tight boy’s room, stealing money from the dead, and a ruined Les Miserables diorama.

 Exit ticket: Justin scours the Reddit library for one teacher’s pic dissection gone terribly wrong.

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Today the show had adjunct faculty with former teacher and Wheel of Fortune recap podcast Come On Big Money, Raul Villanueva. He joined Justin and Ronnie to figure out if there was anything besides a Southwest style strip mall in Ojai, California and what makes their high school one with distinction. Well that and how Stanley Tucci got on Ronnie’s hallpass, who names their child Rhiannon, if Thomas Hayden Church is handsome or ugly, destroyed drug evidence, how Wheel of Fortune might handle a Before and After involving “Pocketful of Sunshine,” why Christian kids at this school love African-American spirituals, how Ronnie was traumatized at a play, restorative practices for calling someone a twat, the best way for fake sex sounds, quirky parents, sex work for gift cards and is it okay to use a gift card on a first date, bad school counselors, STI education, 80s teen love comedies, and sexy pep assemblies. 

Exit ticket: There’s a new way teens have to sex shame each other and of course it’s on TikTok. Are you a “bop”? Ronnie will let you know. 

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Welcome back listeners to the class of 2025/26. It’s 1959 and Robin Williams is trying to teach critical thinking to a repressed, privileged generation of young men. What could go wrong? Well there’s the extended version of the film Justin watched but Ronnie didn’t know existed. Also St. Elsewhere, yearbook sponsorship, carpe diem, trophy case dead kids, the censorship of erotic poetry, sucking marrow, spelunking in the dark, gay vibes, Safe Schools compliance videos, stalking a girl, sexual assault of a sleeping girl, barbaric yawps, soccer poetry, imitating saxophone playing, the Beat Generation, walking, marching, defacing statues, spanking fetishes, gag reflexes while choking on a bone, the dad from That 70’s Show, Laura Flynn Boyle, more violations of Safe Schools, and that little bitch Cameron. Oh, and there will be no anal. 

Exit ticket: Justin ties Mr. Keating’s message to that of LaSheryl is a lovely tribute. Have some tissues handy. 

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Unit Exam - What’s Up Doc?: Justin gets summer schooled on the screwball comedy, the art of the car chase and the great Madeline Kahn. There’s also a song about topping, Wanda being manhandled in Manchester, everyone enjoys their rocks being touched, Madeline Kahn’s wing, lemon drops at Martunis, room service leftovers, a $60 clock radio, stunt men with injured backs, Croatia, Randy Quaid, what musicology is, a dangerously unbalanced woman, Chippendales, Barbra Streisand cooter to the wind, Tan-Tar-A debauchery, a long car chase, whips and red hot irons, glorious TWA architecture, and dumb lines from “Love Story,” 

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