It's a Hanumass miracle! Join us for a deep dive into middle school Spanish class, love on roller skates, fair use of informants, and an array of Elvises. (Elvi? Elvēs?) All this and more, in Episode Double Cinco!

Content warning: This episode includes discussion of rape and how the show handles it (that is, poorly).

Join Crockett and Tubbs on an inexcusably boring outing in the swamp involving zero alligators and banjos! Can Clem and his blunderbuss save the episode? (Spoiler: no.) Is a dollhouse the best prop for planning a rescue mission? Did Sonny Claus bring any presents this year other than bullets? Remember: we watch this so you don't have to!

Better late than never, we bring you boats, boats, and more boats. You can also enjoy satin, fizzled threesomes, someone's cousin's band, mandatory pastels, and the worst Miami Vice sex scene ever (so far).

This week, Tubbs takes on machine guns, and we take on the worst perm, alligator steam boxes, cringeworthy misuses of Teddy Pendergrass, and close encounters in the Miami-Dade airport men's room. Guest starring TV fledgling Bruce Willis, who notably fails to moonlight, die hard, or turn out to be dead all along.

Plot returns more or less triumphant as Crockett and Tubbs struggle with gambling kingpins, internal affairs investigations, and the withering glare of Edward James Olmos, while we struggle with not giggling every time we say "cock fight."Say, what's that ringing?

How do you create a two-part television event without any thematic cohesiveness whatsoever? With tie-dyed frontal lobes, Tina Turner, excerpts from Heidi, misleading credits, shameless James Bond ripoffs, and the least convincing love story ever told.

How do you create a two-part television event without any thematic cohesiveness whatsoever? With tie-dyed frontal lobes, Tina Turner, excerpts from Heidi, misleading credits, shameless James Bond ripoffs, and the least convincing love story ever told.

This week, fashion choices are strong, flamingos may or may not be guilty of ethnic cleansing, nipples steal the spotlight, and SOMEONE WILL DIE.

Crockett, Tubbs, and Tubbs's Jamaican accent return in an adventure with non-local seafood, yellow socks, tiny cassette tapes, and the greatest minor character ever to grace the show.

Crockett, Tubbs, and Tubbs's Jamaican accent return in an adventure with non-local seafood, yellow socks, tiny cassette tapes, and the greatest minor character ever to grace the show.