Damn you Tinder!

Far leftist feminazi nutjob calls her dad up to tell him her baby is gay!

I got ghosted by a guy that I thought was interred in me because he gave me his number but, then he stopped talking to me and ended up just ghosting me.

A star is born review starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga.

Join the Wolfpack in a Christmas short. The Hangover Christmas short (A Hangover Christmas)

By: Alexandria Armitage

Chow: Merry Christmas bitches! We had a sick night!

Phil: Holy shit! It happened again!

Stu: Chow, I'm Jewish!

Chow: Oh, right I'm sorry Stu Happy Hanukkah!

Stu: WHATEVER!

Alan: Hey Phil, why is my beard white? Phil: Holy Shit! His beard really is white ! Alan what the hell happened to your hair?!

[Alan goes over and walks into the mirror]

Stu: What the fuck is going on?! 

Chow: Alan look like the white bearded fat fuck that delivers toys to little brats

Stu: Who?!

Phil: He means Santa Clause Stu. He is saying Alan looks like Santa Clause.

Alan: Oh, Santa Clause I like him he's pretty cool. Oh my God! Phil's right I do look like Santa Clause! My hair is white! Is this ever coming out Phil?!

Phil: How the hell should I know Alan?! Oh, Alan your cellphone is ringing.

Phil: How the hell should I know Alan?! Oh, Alan your cellphone is ringing.

Alan: Ok, thanks Phil. By the way, this is a really ugly sweater I'm wearing.

Phil: You're looking at me like I gave you that.  I didn't give you that sweater.

Alan: Oh, yeah? Then who did Phil?

Phil: Just answer the damn phone Alan!

Alan: He-Hello?

Old woman on the phone: You son of a bitch you come near my granddaughter again you're going to get it sonny you understand me?! Do you hear me?

Alan: [Alan hangs up phone] What a mean old lady! She was so nasty to me!

Phil: Not again Alan, what did you?

Alan: I didn't do anything Phil.

Phil: Yeah, that's what you said in Bangkok.

Alan: You said, you would still be my friend Phil.

Phil: I am Alan I'll always be your friend but, you have to tell me what you did.

Alan: I may have given a 5 yr old vodka.

Phil: You did what?!

Stu: He can't be near children! He's a monster!

Alan: We were taking vodka and whiskey shots at the karaoke bar last night and I gave some to a 5 year old and, it may have had something it.

Stu: YOU DRUGGED US AGAIN?!

Alan: I'm sorry guys it's just I missed you guys so much and, it was good to catch up with you all these years.

Phil: Seriously Alan? Ok, everyone let's Just calm down.

Stu: Calm down?! He drugged us again! I'm wearing an ugly ass sweater Phil! Not to mention, I'm Jewish! I don't celebrate Christmas!

  Phil: Stu, it's a fucking sweater! He's laughing..  Oh, this is funny huh Chow?!

Chow: It's just funny because he's Jewish! Alan really does look like the bearded fat fuck that delivers presents to the little brats! Hahaha!

Phil: That's nice! Can somebody go see where Doug is?

Doug: I'm right here guys, I ran into Mike Tyson in the lobby.

Phil: Hey man!

Mike Tyson: What's up homies? I brought coffee I didn't know how Phil liked his coffee so I got a decaf.

Phil: Thanks.

Mike Tyson: What happened to you guys last night?

Phil: We don't know, because once again we can't remember anything.

Doug: You guys were acting crazy so, I had to bail you started getting up and dancing on the table at the karaoke bar so, after that I just checked out and came back to the hotel.

Phil: Right, and where are we Doug?

Doug: Atlanta.

Phil: Oh, right. What's Mike Tyson doing here again?

Doug: I called him.  Thought you could use a friend.

Mike Tyson: Why? You don't want me here Phil? That really hurts my feelings.

Phil: No, it's not that we don't want you here.

Stu: Alan, auditioned for a mall Santa at Lennox mall it says here on this flyer.

Phil: Well, that explains the white beard let's go check it out.

Stu: Oh, no thanks.

Phil: Why not?

Stu: I planned on getting a massage that's why not. Keeping whatever sanity I have left while I'm at it.

Phil: Whatever let's go guys.

Alan: Shame on you Stu!

Stu: Oh, whatever Alan!

Lennox Mall

Boy 1: There is get him!

[Alan starts screaming]

Boy 2: [punching Alan]

Boy 1: He took my teddy bear!

Boy 2: You gave my five year old sister alcohol with poison in it!

Alan: I didn't give her poison it was just vodka with some drugs in it.

I finally did a cover of Shallow https://youtu.be/saQ8pmPEjZI source: Ally- YouTube channel

My Christmas song I wrote called Sitting by the Fireside where I talk about looking for love this Christmas and wanting to be together with friends and family this Christmas and what Christmas has always meant to me. Sitting by the fire side By: Alexandria Armitage

Sitting by the fire side, waiting for the snow to fall, no Christmas gift is too big or too small.

Verse 1: Come sit by the fire boy we'll roast some marshmallows, and tell ghost stories.

Sitting by the fire side, dreaming of people sliding by in a sleigh ride, when will the worries of this year subside?

Verse 2: The tide of anxiety will soon be gone, if dreaming of being with you this Christmas is wrong, then I don't want to be right.

Sitting by the fire side, I hold on tight to the memories I have had with my family.

Verse 3: Don't be angry it's the season of forgiving. I can't imagine living in a world without Christmas.  The thought of the whole thing is utter insanity.

Sitting by the fireside, Christmas is the one holiday that takes away people's vanity. There's no place I'd rather be than with you here in this moment.

Verse 4: See me sing a carol or two, and count my blessings I have quite few.  I try with all my might to imagine being with you this Christmas.

Sitting by the fire side, Don't be shy boy open up, do you want a cup of hot chocolate? Why are you so coy boy? I promise I won't treat you like a toy boy.

Verse 5: I feel that rush of joy when Christmas comes along every year, if there will be another Christmas I won't shed a tear. 

Sitting by the fire side, I can hear the sleigh bells ringing. I can hear the children singing.  Tell me you enjoy being with me boy. Sitting by the fire side Oh woah, I wish to be sitting by the fire side this Christmas.

Verse 6: A girl named Trish and a boy named Roy are building a snowman, next door, Santa put them on the nice list this Christmas. They ignore the bullies at school that make fun of them because they're not cool. Their dad made this one rule don't be a fool and, let them treat you like a tool.

Sitting by the fire side, How I wish to be by the fire side, oh woah, I wish to be by the fire side with you this Christmas.

Verse 7: Excited for the yule tide joy I feel each Christmas! I can't wait to be with everybody!

Sitting by the fire side, every year I think of the couple that rode across the desert in a mule, to a little town called Bethlehem it all started with a baby boy named Jesus.

Verse 8: That boy grew up to be a man, and faced people that were so cruel to him, he died for our sins, and we keep betraying him, I'm including the ones that have portrayed him. It's a very grim thought to even think that people have actually forgotten that, that man is the real reason behind this glorious season.

Sitting by the fireside, I wish to be, sitting by the fire side, you holding me. Oh woah, how I long to be sitting by the fire side with you boy.

Verse 9: There's no use in quitting, you have already come this far my head is spinning, from being so far apart from my loved ones this Christmas. Oh dear, I can't spend another year worrying about not having them near.

Sitting by the fire side, I hope to be with friends and family, and you holding me.  Sitting by the fire side, I wish to be sitting by the fire side, with you this Christmas.

Celtic dream is a song I wrote about dreaming and wanting to visit Ireland.

This is a song I wrote called Hey Blue Eyes. I will just say that if you're a man and, I'm interested in you you may just wind up in a song.

Life isn't political is a song I wrote about the pandemic and both sides fighting over what's morally right whole ignoring the riots.