I was born into this world a loner. I have always been alone. As a young person, this was extremely depressing to me. I would often lay in bed, fantasizing about how I would make the world love me. I was so sad, so deeply sad, and I thought that the love of others would cure me of this sadness. But, that is not how depression works; it does not have an on or off switch. It depends on your physical as well as your mental well being, and neither of those can be obtained by making friends, especially if those friends are not even in it for the long haul. Many friendships are unfulfilling for me. I take a lot of time trying to understand others and it is a rare occasion that I get that kind of attention in return. Call me needy, but I think that a friendship should be a two way street. You put in what you want out of it, and if what you are putting into a friendship is nothing more than giving someone a phone call every six months, then you are just not the kind of person I would have any desire to sustain any kind of relationship with. But don't take my word for it. Have a listen to Plato, where we get the term "platonic relationship" from. Plato stated about friendship that, "...when one of them meets the  other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other's sight, as I may say, even for a moment...” Now, that kind of friendship is something that I can really get into. It is sad to think how much we have lost sight of what the word friendship originally meant in our culture, how it was so much more than just a quick like on twitter or a trip together to the mall. While we often associate the sharing of personal information with friendship today, the Ancient Greeks valued honesty and frankness. They also understood this concept of frankness on the continent of Africa. An ancient African proverb states, "honest advice doesn't destroy true friendship". The emphasis in the ancient world was on honesty, while the emphasis in the modern world seems to be much more about vanity and keeping up the appearances that go along with friendship. Then there are those from my career who claimed to be my friends, all the producers, all the directors, all the managers, all the people who are only friendly when they need something from you. Those people lied to me and said they would be there for me, only to abandon me during the pandemic. Are they expecting me to forget this, to pretend as if people somehow can just be put on hold until things "get back to normal" in two years? Or three years? Or, if you are in the entertainment industry, five years? I sure hope not because, if they do, they will be sorely disappointed. Yes, I am alone. I am not sad, just alone. And, for once, I am proud of it. Here's looking at you loner.