Ken Rideout has a line he tells his kids when they look scared at sports.
*Just learn how to do this scared.*
It's the truest sentence he says in this episode. Because Ken has spent his whole life doing things that, by his own admission, half of him was sure would crush him.
The fifty-five-year-old man across the chair from me has won a marathon world championship in his age group. He finished Ironmans, ran across the Gobi Desert, won HYROX, and finished sixth overall at Ironman Wisconsin. He runs ten miles a day, every day, and has for years. He looks like someone who decided, a long time ago, to be unafraid.
He hasn't. He told me 49% of his brain is convinced, before every race, that he's going to get killed.
This conversation is about that other 51% — and the long, complicated road of getting there. Ken talks about being a prison guard at eighteen. About making a million dollars a year by twenty-five with imposter syndrome so loud he was taking thirty Percocets a day to quiet it. About sobriety in 2010, the night his wife found him unconscious in the bathroom, the day he quit Ironman in Kona and the sting of that quit that he says has never left.
We talk about the running, which he describes as empowerment *and* fear — that he doesn't actually know what to do with himself if he doesn't go. About body dysmorphia at fifty-five. About the voice that says *take a break, take a day off, come on, let's get high*, and how he answers it now.
If you've ever wondered what it looks like to keep moving forward when half of you doesn't believe you can, this is your episode.
You don't have to feel ready. You just have to learn how to do it scared.
Follow Ken on Instagram @ken_rideout and get his book available here: https://www.theothersideofhard.com/
Orange Toucan: orangetoucan.com Code: KELSEY25 for 25% off
(00:00) Welcome and Connection
(00:37) Endurance Feats and Daily Runs
(02:40) New Book and Life Chapters
(03:39) Gobi March and Curiosity
(05:19) Prison Guard Beginnings
(07:01) First Days Behind Bars
(09:25) From Prison to Wall Street
(11:44) Trading Desk Culture
(13:15) Imposter Syndrome and Fast Money
(15:16) Opioid Addiction Timeline
(17:52) Doctor Shopping and London Escalation
(22:04) Rock Bottom and Getting Sober
(24:56) Triggers Trauma and New Tools
(25:48) Running as Recovery and Identity
(28:00) Ironman Mindset and Extreme Training
(32:03) Marathons vs Ultras
(33:03) Never Quit Mindset
(34:52) Kenya Race Wildlife
(37:11) Inner Voices Addiction
(39:12) Body Image Self Talk
(42:14) Wife Cancer Journey
(43:12) Choosing Suffering Daily
(47:47) Racing Pain Reality
(55:05) Unplugging and Uniform
(57:29) Met Gala Thom Browne
(01:01:28) Crowds Fights Farewell
