Amanda opens up about being in a depressive episode while living abroad and the quiet ways self-hatred can disguise itself as productivity, discipline, or “just trying harder.”

From crying in her kitchen over holiday homesickness to unpacking why she has a visceral reaction when people tell her to “be kind to yourself,” this conversation explores the exhausting cycle of being mean to yourself while still desperately wanting to grow.

She talks about:

• Depression, burnout & emotional imbalance
• Homesickness and feeling lost while living abroad
• Self-sabotage disguised as self-improvement
• Food, productivity, body image & negative self-talk
• Why realizing something isn’t working is enough to begin changing your life
• Learning German, building routine, and trying to reconnect with herself
• The difference between not hating yourself… and actually loving yourself

Amanda reflects on how she’s spent years motivating herself through criticism and fear, and what happens when you finally ask:“What if I got this far being mean to myself… imagine how far I could get being nice to myself?”

Also one-sided beef with Rachel Sennott, Alex Cooper, and advice from a German teacher.

Topics: depressive episode, burnout recovery, self-worth, emotional healing, living abroad loneliness, self sabotage, mental health, productivity guilt, self-love, homesickness, healing journey, expat life, negative self-talk.

Jules joins Amanda in Berlin to yap about the highs and lows of living Berlin, all that is being a Pisces, how important friendship and self-love are to healing from toxic relationship, and how to be the change you want to see in the world. This episode is about self growth, honesty, and becoming the most authentic version of yourself, even if the journey to get there is a rocky one. We speak about navigating toxic relationships and why speaking about them matter. We discuss what we would say to our younger selves and how you can compliment people into being in a great mood.

If you've ever felt lost, alone, misunderstood, or like you're still finding yourself... you've found the right podcast.

This episode Amanda scrolls through her saved Instagram quotes and turns them into real conversations about growth, self-worth and not settling. She hopes to inspire you as always & share some giggles.This episode is for you if you’re:✨ Trying to level up your mindset✨ Learning to stop settling in life or relationships✨ Looking for daily inspiration and motivation✨ Reflecting on who you used to be vs. who you’re becoming#selfgrowth #motivationpodcast #mindsetshift #personaldevelopment #inspirationdaily

What the helly do we do about burnout, procrastination and fear?

In this episode, Amanda talks about burnout, fear, procrastination, and why the things that matter most often feel the hardest to do. From avoiding “important” tasks to choosing easier ones, she shares how we build things up until they feel impossible and why taking the first step matters more than having it all figured out.

There’s no one-size-fits-all path to self-love or self-improvement, but Amanda shares what’s worked for her. This podcast is about challenging how you see yourself, unlearning other people’s opinions, and remembering that you have intrinsic value and can create any life you want.

#burnout #procrastination #selfgrowth #motivationpodcast #personaldevelopment #productivitytips #burnoutrecovery #selfimprovement #mindsetmatters

Bea & Amanda sit in Amagansett chatting shit, the importance of friendship & soulmates. Bea shares some of her dad's best advice, reminds us that you can be friends with people that have different interests in you but not different morals, and how following some breadcrumbs from the universe in the form of a job at hair salon can jumpstart your career in the beauty industry.What makes a friendship last? And how do you know when you’ve found your people?How do you find meaningful friendships?Can you be close with people who are different from you?How do you know if you’re on the right career path?

We talk about:

✨ The importance of friendship and soulmates

✨ Why shared morals matter more than shared interests

✨ Life advice passed down from Bea’s dad

✨ Following unexpected opportunities (like a job at a hair salon)

✨ How small “breadcrumbs” from the universe can shape your career

#selfgrowthpodcast #friendshipadvice #careertips #lifequestions #friendship #soulmates #careergrowth #beautyindustry #lifelessons

What if the parts of you that feel “different” are actually your greatest strength?

How do you learn to love yourself?Can your passion really become your career?

In this episode, Blair shares her journey of finding self-acceptance through music and how that passion eventually turned into her career. She talks candidly about what it was like to feel different growing up and how she learned to not only see the parts of herself that made her feel different with pride and compassion, but fully learning to love who she is.

#selfacceptance #selflove #musicjourney #personalgrowth #confidence #selfacceptancejourney #findingyourself #mindsetshift #growth

How do you turn a creative idea into a real business?

How do you start a creative business?

How do you build a brand in fashion or music culture?

What can moving to another country teach you about yourself?

This episode Lily chats through her journey that started with creating Brainchild festival during uni and has now ultimately led her to starting her own business: Hyfae. Hyfae is a Shop and Magazine celebrating club culture through limited edition pieces by independent designers and real stories from the rave community. We also discuss how moving to another country teaches you about yourself, the tools that have helped us stay sane so far, and much more ;)Lily started Hyfae because while clubs and festivals are some of the most creative spaces for fashion, she couldn't find a single well-curated platform celebrating this. She curates independent designers creating beautiful pieces that capture the energy of the club scene, while the Magazine documents the music, people, and subcultures that make club culture so special.

We talk about:

✨ Starting a business in the creative industry

✨ Building a brand around club and rave culture

✨ Supporting independent designers

✨ Moving abroad and finding yourself

✨ Tools for staying grounded while building something newCheck out Hyfae here:https://www.hyfae.com/

#entrepreneurmindset #creativecareer #raveculture #selfdiscovery #entrepreneurship #clubculture #berlinlife #independentdesigners #creativebusiness

Can you really manifest your dream life?Do things actually get better in your 30s?How do you build a life you’re proud of?

Amanda and Monica reflect on how they always felt their 30s would be incredible, how Monica has manifested her dream life & how it keeps getting better & better. (7-week-old Charlotte is here, too!) 

We talk about:
✨ Manifesting your dream life
✨ Why life can get better (not worse) with age
✨ Growth, mindset, and long-term vision
✨ Motherhood and new chapters (baby Charlotte joins us 💛)
✨ Trusting that everything is unfolding for you

#manifestation #dreamlife #30s #selfgrowth #mindsetshift #personaldevelopment #manifestationtips #30slife #mindsetmatters

Who am I… and why did I start a podcast?

How do you start over in a new country alone?

How do you push yourself out of your comfort zone?

In her first solo episode, Amanda officially introduces herself and explains why the heck she started a podcast in the first place.

This episode is about:

✨ Starting over in a new country

✨ Taking risks and leaving your comfort zone

✨ Why she started this podcast

✨ Wanting to share inspiring people and stories

✨ Creating something meaningful from scratch

#movingabroad #startingover #selfgrowth #podcastjourney #personaldevelopment #selfgrowthpodcast #lifequestions #mindsetshift

How do you pivot your career?Is freelancing a good career path?What happens when you move cities and start over?

This episode we spend time in Jeff's garden while we discuss his career pivot, making the move from NYC to LA, and how a catering job he took in high school drove him to a life of freelance.

#careerpivot #freelancelife #nyctola #creativelife #personaldevelopment

#freelancecareer #careertips #remotework #personalgrowth #garden