Americarnage

Nat, Mike and Dan are sportsmen - big, brute, sweaty sportsmen. Mike's so much of a sportsman he's not even here this week and the guys are joined by the seriously funny comedian/actor/bagpipe-ist Dave Whitney. Dan's stepping up to the plate though and doing a half-marathon in aid of a cure for leukemia and lymphoma. Sponsor him here: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/DanLouw

In other news: Dan likes chunky kitkats, Nat does not; Russell Wilson and Braylon Edwards makes Pats fans cry; Atlanta went to 6-0 for the first time in franchise history; the Lions comeback to beat Philly in overtime after Michael’s usual Jekyll and Hyde act; in the playoffs, then there were 4. Well 3 techincally seeing as the Yankees are 2 down and face Justin Verlander tonight. Alongside NY are Detroit, San Fran and St Louis - doing battle for a place in the 2012 World Series of Baseball; B’ball is back in Brooklyn as the Nets won their first preseason game at their new home at the Barclay’s centre; longshoremen in Seattle don’t want the Sonics back; loads of questions in the Bodeans Mailbag; another great game from Dan; does anyone trust HdP? They shouldn't and much, much more...

Nat, Mike and Dan are all back in the house and they're so glad to see each other that the arguments take several real minutes to materialise. What they don't argue about is how much they want to win the Podcast Awards - www.podcastawards.com

In other news: Dan hangs around truck stops with Marek, there's a point to this; Mike talks books; Channel 4 gets very heavily plugged; Andrew Luck comes of age to rally the Colts; Drew Brees beat Johnny Unitas’s record of 47 straight games with a touchdown pass; The Bears won without having to throw a pass again; Michael Vick still has security issues – he dropped the ball three times, recovering once; Kobe Bryant MIGHT retire in two years. He told CBS that he wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep going past the end of his current contract: "One can never be too sure."; in the MLB Texas are out - having blown the division in shoot out with the Oakland A’s; The Braves lost to St Louis in the other wildcard – last ever game for Atlanta legend Chipper Jones; loads of questions in a bumper Bodeans Mailbag and much, much more...

Mike and Nat are bereft as Holywood Dan takes the Premier League football option and doesn't make it to the studio this week. To mask their distress they pretend it doesn't matter to them but the hurt is ever close to the surface. To help them through this difficult time they invite ESPN America head honcho (he honches heads you know) and College Football supremo Patrick 'Paddy the Brick' Sturgeon.

In other news: The refs are back and it's already easy to forget how bad the first few weeks were; Patrick knows about betting but urges you to just join him 'for the journey'; Mike watches Japanes films; Patrick does Zumba, the guys are confused; the Podcast Awards have come around again, feel free to nominate us; Jay Cutler is a winner; Romo gets picked off all over the field; the Patriots score more points than is seemly; the Jest have 34 reasons to think about what they're doing; Chuck Pagano is getting treatment for leukemia and we all wish him strength and wellness; Patrick talks us through the College ball situation; the Tigers punched their playoff ticket by winning the American League Central on Monday night; the White Sox put some pressure on them by beating Cleveland; Detroit responded with a 6-3 win in Kansas City the NHL is still locked out, silly buggers; fantasy league news, your questions in the Bodeans mailbag and much, much more...

Mike and Dan are a pair of horse-collaring, facemask pulling unnecessarily rough low-blockers and with Nat out with a tooth injury, Harry the Producer is left to rain flags down like the ill-informed scab ref he is. Luckily for everyone stand-up comic, Bills fan and all-round awesome guy Lee Bannard is in the studio this week to keep the guys on the straight and true...In other news: Dan's watched some films, they were good; Mike's watched some films, they're also good but what the hell is it with Scandawegians and bad things happening to kids? Scab refs are barely mentioned; they're barely mentioned when disallowing touchdowns; they're barely mentioned throwing endless random penalty flags in Baltimore; they're barely mentioned having absolutely no grip on games; they're ba... you get the idea; the Bengals are exciting; the 49ers are still everyone's pick despite losing; the Cardinals, Texans and Falcons are the only 3-0 teams; nothing hapens in Hockey because of the lockout; there are now no Chinese players in the NBA and this can be said about over a hundred other countries but China is quite literally a Big Deal; Yanqui are up, Oakland are on the up, Washington have a playoff place, so have Cincinatti and the Giants; the MVP race hots up, Americarnage puts its money on Melky Cabrera; loads of questions in the Bodeans Mailbag; Dan brings the worst accents in Hollywood and asks Mike and Lee to guess who they are and much, much more...

The whole gang's in town tonight to toast the awesomeness of all thngs American Sports-related. Mike got an early start but HdP is in this for the long haul...

In other news: Iron Mike gives restaurant advice; Dan ran 10k but just missed out on Americarnage Sponsorship Place and makes up for it by getting scatological in under 5 minutes; Calexico get a much-deserved plug; Brandon Wheedon gets discussed; Kellen Who?; scab refs must go; Mike's mate Danny Amendola looks spectacular; Jay Cutler's backfiring wishes; Andrew Luck won his first game in the NFL in a close run thing against the Vikes, and Ryan Tannehnhill also got off the mark against the Raiders; Peyton comes back down to earth with a bump; the gang do fantasy league, hear about how badly; Jeremy Lin has bought a bed; the Knicks are reportedly keen on Kenyon Martin, which would round out their roster of extremely old men; It's a Lockout in the NHL for the 4th time in 20 years; Metallurg Magnitogorsk is the best team name in the KHL and indeed the world; shortstop Yunel Escobar has homophobia written all over his face; MLB playoffs could be Oakland, Baltimore, Texas, NYY, White Sox, Reds, Giants, Nats, Card & Braves - no dodgers despite spending a bazillion dollars on players; awesome questions in the Bodeans Mailbag and much, much more...

Nat and Dan are strangers in the strange land of the 1st week of regular season, especially seeing as Iron Mike isn't here to guide them. Luckily they have a guide in the form of stand-up, writer, and (amongst other things) MC for London Irish Caimh McDonnell.

In other news: Caimh loves NFL but has no team to call his own, the guys make careful and reasoned recommendations; Dredd 3D is beautiful according to Hollywood; Bronson Pinchot gets the most exposure he's had in nearly three decades; week one was a Cowboys and Redskins week; Peyton is back and dear god have we missed him; RGIII wins battle of the rookies; scab refs do amazingly well but lets get the real guys back; a certain QB has his secrets revealed; Joe Flacco is the best QB ever!?; basketballthings happen; hockey things happen involving europe; Dan admits his love for Jay Cutler; baseball things happen; brilliant questions in the Bodeans Mailbag, fantasy football news, do you really care? Of course you do, Nat beat Mike and Harry beat Dan, and much, much more...

Nat, Mike and Dan have returned to Camden and it only takes them 45 seconds before the arguments start. Luckily, Marek Larwood is back from his run at the Edinburgh Festival and he gets it even earlier...

In other news: Preseason is over! It meant something, promise...; regular season is very nearly here and Nat and Mike will be bringing it to you not just here but on Channel 4; biggest preseason losers were Tebow and Sanchez; the Giants are a bunch of bullys; Dan was there when Vick got bullied and heard something that hte TV guys didn't pick up on; Luck looks weirdly asincredible as he's been billed as; there's some fantasy league stuff;the Red Sox have cleaned house - sending A-Gon, Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford and Nick Punto to the LA Dodgers; the Baltimore Orioles continue to confound - now only 1 game behind the Yanqui in the AL East race; loads of mailbag; competition results and much, much more...

Mike and Dan shake off the Stratford/Greenwich Arena dust and get down to some NFL preseason bidness, aided by do- five-shows-and-get-a-free-one man of the hour Ben Isaacs. Nat shakes off the dust of the Americarnage studio and does something else and gets away remarkably lightly for it...

In other news: Dan liked Blur before they were cool; Mike liked Daley Thompon before decathlon was cool; Ben likes Party Down because it's never been cool - but it is damn good; the Olympics need to get rid of some shit; Dan's pick of Ocho-Johnson proves a little off; Luck's numbers are way misleading but he is blatantly awesome, although the Rams don't think so but screwthem, they're one-and-done with London already; Tebow plays every position ever; the guys assemble the weakest NFL player ever; Mike equivocates about preseason's importance; Dan disagrees; the Bengals get everyone injured but do well anyway; nothing happens in the hockey so it doesn't even get mentioned; the NBA, sorry, Olympic basketball works out as it was always going to; baseball happens, Ben tells us about that; good questions and even some Corrections and Clarifications from the Bodeans Mailbag and much, much more...

*Stop Press* it's another 'Carnage bye-week next week cos Mike and Dan are off to the East Coast on vaguely separate holidays. Nat will be back in two weeks with some seriously special guests and reports from our two Boston correspondants, Mike and Dan.

With Iron Mike still providing for all your Olympic basketball needs with the BBC and Tuneesha having her arse implants removed, Nat and Dan were feeling pretty blue. That is until the coolest man in sports broadcasting, Phil Spooner, said he'd pop down to the studios to school the guys in the ways of the Chargers fan...

In other news: Friend of the show Marek Larwood is at the Pleasance in Edinburgh, go and see him; Dan keeps it light with the end of the world; pre-season starts tonight so prepare to see more players than you'll see all year; TO is back. Why?; Phillip Rivers has more power than Norv; Dan reorders the NFL; the Dream Team mince the opposition at the Olympics; Team GB mash the Chinese but get beaten in every other game; things happen with the CBA in the NHL, there'll probably be a season; the trade deadline is up in the MLB and loads of people have moved to different places, Nat tells you some of them; Phil met Ray Lewis and dubs him the Alpha Male of the whole world, the gang don't gainsay him; Dan whips up another classic game, this time about supervillains; listener questions in the Bodeans Mailbag and much, much more...

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Listen to the very end of the show for some bonus Carlson...

Nat, Mike and Dan are multitalented guys. Violent, unpredictable, multitalented guys. This week they demonstrate this by revealing new skills, old methods of greeting, new things about old films, new things about new sport and much more besides. They're aided in this rollercoaster ride by the incomparable Luke Moore of The Football Ramble who fits in with this bunch of reprobates with disturbing ease...

In other news: In-jokes from off-air are not good, ignore them; books have been read, some of them are good; Mike keeps things light; Luke gets and gives updates on his newly-aquired American Sports teams; there are gratuitous Kid'n'Play references; Luck and RGIII finally sign on the dotted line; training camps have finally started for most, pre-season is offically not far away; ridiculously complex deals are going on in the NHL, only Dan understands them; corrections and clarifications causes issues again; listener questions in the Bodeans Mailbag; new game: Sweary Bollocks - Best. Game. Ever. and much, much more...

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Due to a variety of work, personal, Olympic and crack-related commitments there will be no Americarnage next week. Sorry folks.