Americarnage

Nat, Mike and Dan are back in the house this week for an All-Pro 'Carnage this week and, because it's just so darn exciting, they celebrate the Big Man's birthday a day early by having some disturbingly cogent discussion in. Don't worry though, Dan takes just 4 minutes to talk about poo...

In other news: there's booze and cake in the studio, this always works out well; Dan is a big fan of the Oscar Pistorius murder trial, mainly the vomiting; the Americarnage merchandise store is launching soon, presents for loved ones will never be a problem again; Nat talks Romney documentaries, disturbingly watchable stuff; Mike talks NFL free agency in a frankly bewildering amount of detail; in the NHL it's all change at the top – Boston leads the East from Pittsburgh and Montreal after pulling back ten games on the Pens since December; St Louis lead the West from Anaheim for the first time all season; NBA-wise, Indiana lead the East from Miami, San Antonio have leapfrogged the OKC Thunder, they’re 6 straight in a time when everyone is losing; Lebron hit 6 of 18 from the field and later blamed the special T shirts he had been made to wear as part of the NBA’s Noche Latina; laods og Bodeans Mailbag goodness, including the revelation that we're so wrong all the time that Corrections and Clarifications should make a return - we're up for this, send us your C&C's! great (slightly stolen) game from Dan and much, much more...

With Iron Mike out of the game this week Nat and Dan waste no time in getting right down to what matters: the etiquette and mores of dumping at work. Joining in the discussion but keeping it classy is all-pro 'Carnage guest and One Direction back-up dancer Phil Spooner.

In other news: Nat and Phil hit a wrap party and Phil tore up the dance floor, capturing all hearts; Phil shows how to style it out if you don't know what's going on; Dan went to see pre-release bits of a film, ate muffins and will never be asked back; Nat and HdP love House of Cards season 2; NFL free agency begins next week so the big work right now is being done by the agents, the rumour mill and the bean-counters looking to free up cap space so they don't turn up to the party unable to buy their round; Golden Tate will be one of those looking to be snapped up for mucho dinero; the new Tampa Bay uniform has been revealed and whatever they were trying to achieve, they haven't done it; in the NHL Pittsburgh lead the East from Boston; Anaheim lead St Louis in the West with around 20 games left; with every team back in action after the Olympics, the talk of the town is of the approaching trade deadline and most of the League have been busy little bastards; ndiana lead the East from Miami, OKC lead the West from San Antonio, but with the Clippers, the Rockets and Trail Blazers all streaking, it’s anyone’s game with around 25 games left; last week we were taping just as the Heat were beating the Thunder and Serge Ibaka, who you may recall ain’t about dis life, breaking Lebron’s nose; loads of Bodeans Mailbag goodies and much, much more...

Mike and Dan arrive at the studio all lively and raring to go when they find a note from Nat explaining that he's recently had dental work which has rendered him Merrick-esque so won't be along this week. HdP's best efforts can't cheers them up (honestly, he jingled his keys and everything) but when First Lady of Americarnage Kelly-Anne Lyons turns up they decide that life is worthwhile after all, turn those frowns upside down and get on with the business of recording the best gosh-darn podcast they can, like big boys.

In other news: Mike really doesn't like Piers Morgan; neither does anyone else; Kelly talks kidnapped Orcas; Dan talks worst-food-in-the-West-End; Mike talks Cassius Clay anniversaries; loads of combine numbers vie for your attention; the Sochi Olympics are over and there were even some sporting things to talk about amongst all the controversy which is just as well as the NHL break was getting old; in the NBA Indiana lead the East from Miami, OKC lead the West from San Antonio and it’s been that way most of the season but the impressive Pacers lead has been chipped away since All Star weekend by a rampant Miami team that as gone 5 on the bounce; Kelly talks New York Yankees; loads of Bodeans Mailbag goodness; Oscar picks and general movie chat for the last 25 minutes or so, awesome if you like movies, skp it if you don't care so much, and much, much more...

Nat, Mike and Dan have finally managed to assemble once more in the 'Carnage lair, deep under the streets of Camden. There they find HdP ready to record because, well, it's a strong collar and chain they bought way back in 2010...

In other news: Mike has brought his mini-me, Mr Nate Carlson, who promptly slags off the gang, demands payment and crashes Nat's links so we can assume that the next generation will be business as usual; the Lego movie is surprisingly dark; Amazon is making tv shows, Mike recommends one; Dan watches a film of roughly the vintage that Nat usually does, surprise ensues; Nat's all about House of Cards, a quality second season in the offing; lots of off-season action in the NFL, the guys plough into this with their usual aplomb; in the NBA, Indiana lead the East, OKC lead the West, but the NBA has had a quiet weekend because of the annual clusterfuck of showing off that is the All Star break; on Sunday in New Orleans, the East took on the West and both teams played even less defence than usual, running up a record score of 163-155; NHL-wise, Anaheim lead the West from St Louis, Pittsburgh lead the West from Boston. It’s basically the same as when we left you; what is different, is the league hit shutdown as many of the players went to Sochi; The Winter Olympics got underway, Canada’s path to the next round was fairly roiutine, putting away Norway, Austria and Finland in overtime thanks to two Drew Doughty goals; loads of Bodeans Mailbag goodness, a grand old game from Dan and much, much more...

Mike and Dan have lost Nat to NYC in the build up to some sporting event or other so be prepared for the channel 4 coverage to have plenty of cutaways with Nat singing 'if I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere...' while wearing C4 foam fingers. Aaaanyway, to help fill the gap left by N-Power's absence we've got Shortlist's sports editor, Bears fan and long-time friend of the show Mr Ben Isaacs.

In other news: Ben's off to train with the Welsh rugby team and his recent gym usage has simply broken him rather than started to rebuild him - this could be the last time we see him; Dan met Gavin Henson once then spends time defending Charlotte Church; Mike mentions Nietsche and thing get strangely philosophical (hence the title, geddit?!); lots of pro bowl talk;lots of head coach talk; plenty plenty super bowl talk; baseball talk; NHL and NBA talk; Bodeans Mailbag action and some betting, what more could you want. Possibly much, much more...

Nat and Mike arrive in the studio this week with a spring in their step and joy in their hearts, all is right with the world. Until HdP tells them that Dan can't make it to the show and the tears start to flow... Luckily writer and broadcaster Stig Abell is about so he chucks them on the chin and tells them to turn their frowns upside down, to get on with talking about sports like big boys. So that, dear listener, is what they did...

In other news: Stig reads lots of books while commuting and reckons you can too; Mike talks about books too then Nat does as well so the first 18 minutes or so are pretty literary; don't worry, this changes; all agree that the era of men wearing hats was a good thing; the Pro Bowl is coming but amazingly it gets ignored - we may not be the only group of people to do this; for the first time in 4 years or so the top seeds are facing off against each other in the Super Bowl, 'should be pretty epic' appears to be the general consensus; very little time is devoted to Richard Sherman; supposedly elite refereees are anything but; in the NBA, Kobe says the league is more about finesse these days; San Antonio, Portland and OKC lead the West; the Nets beat the Nicks at The Garden; big baseball discussions are had; hockey is talked about; loads of Bodeans Mailbag goodies and much, much more...

Nat and Dan are having to do without the Big Man this week and things were looking pretty grim - it seemed like HdP might even have to talk more and we know for a fact that shouldn't happen. Luckily for all involved the tower of power that is TM Football's Will Gavin stepped into the breach, which means not only that once again Pods Collide, but also a reuniting of the Absolute Radio *coughAbsoluteRadio90'scough* NFL team. Apparently he only came to see Mike which makes for an awkward moment or two...

In other news: Once again sports take about 14 minutes to arrive. It would have been longer but for the edit, see if you can spot the joins; stories of working with Dan in other places prove remarkably familiar and he brings a joke which was censored elsewhere; 12 Years a Slave is apparently quite harrowing; Dan talks hip-hop; the niners resort to old-school football while the panthers end up being just a bit little-brother; the seahawks have the best pass-d in the league; loads of other things but you'll hear them when you listen; are nicknames on jerseys the lamest gimmick the NBA have tried? Probably not but boy do they suck; loads of Bodeans Mailbag goodness; Dan gets close to home with his Hollywood Animals game and much, much more...

Nat, Mike and Dan are back from the festive season feeling fired up and ready to dish it out; Dan especially as Mike calls him on the amount he talk about cacapoopoopeepee. Turns out it's quite a lot. Helping them deal with this and making his long-awaited return is the all-pro Qaurterback and man wth one week to live, Marek Larwood.

In other news: The BBC messed up the new year fireworks; Marek will sleep with all three members of Haim but not one at a time; various joke opportunities are missed, other ones which should have been aren't; Dan's getting ready to run the London marathon and has succumbed to the sickness of being unable to stop talking about it; films have been watched and that takes up much of the first 18 minutes so if you just want sports, that's where to skip to; speaking of sports, loads of that has happened since we were last in the studio, so much that I couldn't possibly list it here - listen to find out; great stuff from the Bodeans Mailbag, an epic game to start the year with and much, much more...

Nat, Mike and Dan have signed off for the year, having felt like by coming up with funky-ass shit, like, every single week, they've done their part. That leaves HdP his yearly joyous task of finding some of the 'best' bits for Lazy-Ass Clip Show 3: Clip This. He's found some rude stuff, some horrendously offensive stuff and a few bits about sports so I guess that's pretty representative if nothing else...

In other news: Huge thanks to everone who's joined us this year, 'Carnage friends old and new, you've given of your time to help make this a hell of a year for us. Even huger thanks to everyone who's tweeted us, facebook'd us, trolled us, come to visit us in Camden and listened to us in 2013, you're a mad bunch of bastards and we love you.

Happy Christmas and a fine-ass new year, we'll be back in January.

Nat and Dan are obviously highly cultured individuals, if usually more of the petri-dish type, so they're taking the chance this week to talk you through some top Christmas films. 'But what about Mike, he's great on films on the side' I hear shouted in the direction of the studios, possibly in a Connecticut accent. Well, Mike's on family duties so helping sort the winter wheat from the Christmas chaff is All-Pro 'Carnage guest and busiest man in media, Phil 'tha producer' Spooner. In other news: Dan makes various personal suggestions about Mike seeing as he's not here to defend himself; Harry's beard makes him suspected Al Quaeda but his actions make him a confirmed booze-hound; Nat promotes himself to colonel, this doesn't last long; Dan is doing the London Marathon, this is not the last time you'll hear about this fact; Week 15 has been all about enormous field goals which everyone seems strangely excited about; The Super-Chargers do what no-one thought they would; Tony Romo is hated as much as Jamaal Charles is loved; NBA-wise it's Indiana and Portland at the top; Josh Smith is very very good; Kobe wants to win a championship, he's not going to this year; Pittsburgh and Chicago are top of the NHL tree but Vancouver are blasting up the ratings so they're the ones to watch; an especially disturbing but brilliant Bodean's Mailbag this week (cheers Dan, that mic now has to be burnt) the promised film discussion and much, much more...