An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents

Salutations, rambunctious readers! It’s time for another round of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents. Put away the spray and wipe, the mop and the broom, because today’s word is: ablutophobia.

Ablutophobia is a word for the persistent fear of cleaning, washing or bathing. It occurs most frequently in children and women than men, but is not a very common phobia. The word comes from the Latin ‘abluere’ where ‘ab’ means ‘away’ and ‘luere’ meanings ‘wash’, paired of course with our well known Greek ‘phobos’ meaning ‘fear’. You might recognise the phrase ‘morning ablutions’ referring to one’s morning routine, usually consisting of brushing your teeth, showering, washing your face, and other general grooming tasks. Indeed, the word ‘ablute’ means ‘to wash oneself’.

In chemistry, ablution originally referred to the purifying of oils and other substances by emulsification with hot water. Now more generally, it means ‘a thorough cleansing of a precipitate or other non-dissolved substance’.

Ablution can also refer to ritual purification, and occurs in Christian, Jewish and Islamic practices, among others. In Judaism, ritual washing takes two main forms. ‘Tevilah’ is a full body immersion in a mikveh, and ‘netilat yadayim’ is the washing of the hands with a cup.

The Islamic practice, known as ‘Wuḍūʾ’ is the Islamic procedure for wiping parts of the body and involves washing the hands, mouth, nostrils, arms, head and feet with water. There is also ‘ghusl’, the Arabic term referring to the full-body ritual purification mandatory before the performance of various rituals and prayers, and ‘tayammum’, the act of dry ritual purification using a purified sand or dust, which may be performed in place of ritual washing if no clean water is readily available or if one is suffering from moisture-induced skin inflammation or scaling.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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Howdy hi there, my sunshiney scholars! Thank you for joining me for another chapter of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents. On today’s episode we’re heading down under to Australia, but forget your koalas and kangaroos; today’s word is: platypus.

The platypus, sometimes referred to as the duck-billed platypus is a semiaquatic egg-laying mammal native to easter Australia, including the island Tasmania. The platypus is the sole living representative of its family and genus, though a number of related species appear in the fossil record.

Platypus - The platypus, sometimes referred to as the duck-billed platypus, is a semiaquatic egg-laying mammal endemic to eastern Australia, including Tasmania. The platypus is the sole living representative of its family and genus, though a number of related species appear in the fossil record. Together with the four species of echidna, it is one of the five extant species of monotremes - the only mammals that lay eggs instead of giving birth to live young. It is also one of the few species of venomous mammals, as the male platypus has a spur on the hind foot that delivers a venom capable of causing severe pain to humans. A truly unique creature, no?

The word ‘platypus’ comes from the Ancient Greek ‘platúpous’ meaning ‘flat-footed’. This Greek evolved into the New Latin word ‘Platypus’, which was originally a genus name already in use for a type of beetle, and subsequently adopted for the Australian mammal. ‘Platypussary’ is the word for a place where playtpuses (yes, not platypi) are nurtured.

The platypuses scientific name is ‘Ornithorhynchus anatinus’, which is derived from the Greek ‘ornithorhynkhos’, literally meaning ‘bird snout’ in Greek, and ‘anatinus’, which means ‘duck-like’ in Latin. There are also casually referred to as the duckbill, duckmole, and watermole.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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Good day to you, kind linguists, and welcome to another round of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents. Now - some of you may identify with today’s word, and others will not. But I ask you to strap yourselves in, and join with me as we examine today’s word: misogamy.

‘Misogamy’, simply put, is the hatred of marriage. It’s a word from the 1650s, from the Modern Latin ‘misogamia’, which in turn is from the Greek ‘misogamos’ meaning ‘hating marriage’. If we delve further into the Greek etymology, we see that ‘misos’ means ‘hate’ and ‘gamos’ meaning ‘marriage’. You might recognise the words ‘polygamy’ or ‘monogamy’ which mean ‘the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time’ and ‘the practice of marrying or state of being married to one person at a time’ respectively. Fascinatingly, the usage for ‘misogamy’ peaked in 1989, with a steep fall from 1997 to 1998. I honestly couldn’t tell you why, honest listener, nor do we have the time to unpack the popularity and use of words in the late 1900s, so we’ll just go with it.

The idea of misogamy was important in the Christian church during the medieval period as a prerequisite for the celibacy required to occupy the highest positions in the church. It was developed in the philosophy of the Greek Philosopher Theophrastus, the successor to Aristotle in the Peripatetic school, who became the ‘canonical authority on philosophic misogamy throughout the Middle Ages’.

There is a quote from the prolific English writer Fergus Hume’s work, ‘The Harlequin Opal, Volume 1’ that reads, ‘Philip, the cynic, enjoyed it greatly, thereby proving that a considerable portion of his misogamy was humbug.’ I think that pretty much sums it up.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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E kuʻu hoaloha! And welcome to today’s episode of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents! Today we are headed to beautiful, tropical Hawaii, so get out your best swimsuits and your surfboard, because today’s word is: Pana Po’o.

Pana Po’o is a word that means ‘to scratch your head in order to help you remember something you’ve forgotten’. For example, you might have misplaced your hairbrush, and as you are searching for it, you might ‘pana po’o’, or scratch your head as you try to remember where it is. It reminds me of when you are playing the popular computer game ‘The Sims’, and you ask your sim to do something, but as they begin to complete the action, you cancel it, and they are confused about why they walked into the room in the first place. That would be an excellent moment to pana po’o.

Another great Hawaiin phrase is ‘Kūlia i ka nu’u’ which means ‘strive to reach the highest’ or ‘to do your best’. It implies a value in both achievement and excellence, and could be used to describe the feeling you get after an excellent study session, or the motivation to try a little harder to get something done.

‘Wiki’ is the Hawaiin word for fast. At Honolulu Airport, you will see the Wiki Wiki bus that quickly (or not so quickly, as I’ve heard) transports you between the main and the inter-island terminals.

Probably one of most famous Hawaiin words is ‘ohana’, the word for ‘family’ made popular by the animated Disney film ‘Lilo and Stitch’. However what you may not know is that the word ‘ohana’ means more than just family - it extends from blood-relatives to ‘adopted’ or ‘chosen’ family and carries with it an implication of respect and cooperation.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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Seid gegrüßt, delightful and dedicated listerns, and welcome to another round of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents. Once again we are headed to the land of bratwurst and hamburgers, as we examine today’s rather pointed word: backpfeifengesicht.

Backpfeifengesicht is a word meaning ‘a face badly in need of a fist’, or ‘a face that is slappable’. Pretty self explanatory, I should think. It is from the German ‘backpfeife’ meaning ‘slap in the face’ and ‘geischt’ meaning ‘face’; therefore ‘slap in the face-face’. Could we just take a moment to appreciate the fact that the Germans have an entire word for ‘slap in the face’? Priorities, am I right? In fact, the German punk bank, Die Ärzte, named one of their songs ‘Backpfeifengesicht’ since the lyrics mention a person who apparently has a stupid look on their face that frustrates the singer.

‘Backpfeife’ in particular is made up of ‘Backe’ which means ‘cheek’ and ‘pfeifen’ which means ‘to whistle’, so literally ‘cheek whistle’, referring to the sound that is made when someone is slapped on the cheek.

Similarly, the word ‘ohrfeige’ means ‘box on the ear or cuff on the ear’, or a figurative ‘slap in the face’, where ‘ohr’ means ‘ear’ and ‘feige’ means ‘fig’. The two are related, as ‘pfeife’ normally means ‘pipe’ or ‘flute’, but in this case it comes from ‘Ohrfeige’ - ‘ear fig’, which is close to the ear, which in turn relates to slap on the face. Are you with me still, joyous listener?

If we shift countries for a moment, the phrase ‘tête à claques’ is French for ‘pain in the neck’ or ‘blighter’, and can also be described as ‘someone so annoying that they might deserve to be slapped’. It’s also a French-language humour website created in 2006, if that happens to be your thing.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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Hello hello, my little monsters, and welcome to today’s spooky edition of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents. You might be asking yourself, now why is today’s episode a spooky one, isn’t it just a regular Friday? It may be so, cheerey listener, but I ask you to proceed with caution, for today’s word is: teratophilia.

Teratophillia is the sexual attraction to monsters, including fictional and mythical creatures, or ‘monstrous people’. The word comes from the Greek ‘téras’, meaning monster, and ‘philia’, meaning love. Rather than view the condition as a kink, defenders of teratophilia believe it allows people to see beauty outside of societal standards.

The trope of women falling in love with monsters has been around for a long time; examples can be found in ‘The Phantom of the Opera’, ‘Dracula’, ‘Twilight’, and the audience are not repulsed, because they fall in love with the monster too. Here lies the basis for teratophilia, that all creatures with a heart and mind deserve love, and so we might fall in love with them too. In fact, there is hardly a single human culture that finds itself indifferent to monsters; human culture either responds to monsters with fear or feeds on them joyously.

Similarly, ‘teratism’ is the love or worship of the monstrous, though in biology, it refers to ‘a monstrosity, a malformed animal or human, especially in the fetal stage’. Though this may sound harsh coming from the aforementioned ‘teratophillia’, this is how the word has evolved scientifically. Again, the word ‘teratogen’ is another biological word that means ‘a drug or other substance capable of interfering with the development of a fetus, causing birth defects.’ Teratogens include certain drugs, such as thalidomide, infections, such as German measles, and ionizing radiation. A little bit different from falling in love with a werewolf, no?

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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Kia ora, lovely linguists, and welcome to today’s episode of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents. We’re headed to beautiful New Zealand to explore the islands for today’s word: kakapo.

The kakapo, also known as the ‘owl parrot’ is a species of large, flightless, ground-dwelling parrot, native to New Zealand. With a face like an owl, the posture of a penguin and a walk like a duck, the tame and gentle kakapo is regarded as one of the strangest and rarest birds in the world.

The kakapo is a nocturnal, burrowing parrot that has green and brown barred plumage and well-developed wings. A combination of traits make it unique among its kind; it is the world’s only flightless parrot, the heaviest parrot, herbivorous, visibly sexually dimorphic in body size, and also possibly one of the world’s longest living birds. Sadly, the kakapo is critically endangered. The total known adult population is 142 living individuals, all of which are named.

The word ‘kakapo’ is Maori, and comes from ‘kākā’ meaning ‘parrot’, and ‘pō’ meaning ‘night’. The kakapo is associated with a rich tradition of Māori folklore and beliefs. The bird's irregular breeding cycle was understood to be associated with heavy fruiting, which led Māori to credit the bird with the ability to tell the future. They used to substantiate this claim with reported observations of these birds dropping the berries into secluded pools of water to preserve them as a food supply for the summer ahead and in legend this became the origin of the Māori practice of immersing food in water for the same purpose.

Māori would use kakapo skins with the feathers still attached or individually weave in 11,000 kakapo feathers with flax fibre to create cloaks and capes. They were highly valued, and the few still in existence today are considered ‘taonga’ or ‘treasures’. Indeed, the old Māori adage ‘you have a kākāpō cape and you still complain of the cold’ was used to describe someone who is never satisfied.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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A blessed day, and a warm welcome to you, humble listener. Thank you for joining me for today’s episode of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents. I shall ask you not to go all ‘holier than thou’ as we discuss today’s word: cathedral.

Cathedral is a word from the 1580s meaning ‘church of a bishop’, from the phrase ‘cathedral church’. It can be partially translated from the late Latin phrase ‘ecclesia cathedralis’ meaning ‘church of a bishop’s seat’, which in turn comes from the Latin ‘cathedra’, meaning ‘an easy chair, principally used by ladies’, which again can be traced to the Greek ‘kathedra’, meaning ‘seat or bench’. Are you still with me, faithful follower?

It was born an adjective, and attempts to force further adjectivisation onto it. The seventeenth century yielded ‘cathedraical’, ‘cathedratic’ and ‘cathedratical’. Nowadays, cathedral can be more simply defined as ‘a big church building, central place for some area’ or ‘the principal church of an archbishop's or bishop's archdiocese which contains an episcopal throne’. The term ‘cathedral’ actually carries no implication as to the size or ornateness of the building. Nevertheless, most cathedrals are particularly impressive edifices.

Churches with the function of ‘cathedral’ are usually specific to those Christian denominations with an episcopal hierarchy, such as the Catholic, Anglican, Orthodox, and some Lutheran and Methodist churches. Church buildings embodying the functions of a cathedral first appeared in Italy, Gaul, Spain and North Africa in the fourth century, but cathedrals did not become universal within the Western Catholic Church until the twelfth century.

The Catholic church also uses the terms ‘pro-cathedral’, a parish or other church used temporarily as a cathedral, usually while the cathedral is under construction or repair, ‘co-cathedral’, a second cathedral in a diocese that has two sees, and ‘proto-cathedral’, the former cathedral of a transferred see. The cathedral church of a metropolitan bishop is called a metropolitan cathedral.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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Hallo, mein schatz, and willkommen to another Deutsch installment of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents! That’s right, my klein strudels, we are off to Germany for today’s word: Fremdschämen.

Fremdschämen, is an informal German word meaning ‘to feel ashamed about something someone else has done; to be embarrassed because someone else has embarrassed himself, and doesn’t notice’. In other words, it’s embarrassment on behalf of another person. An example of Fremdschämen would be when your best friend’s mother struts it out in public in her new mini skirt, but doesn’t realise she has the back tucked into her underwear. Awkward.

Fremdschämen comes from the words ‘fremd’, meaning ‘strange’ and ‘schamen’ meaning ‘to be ashamed or embarrassed’. Therefore: to be ashamed or embarrassed for something strange to me. Others relate it to the English word ‘cringeworthy’. There is also a Finnish word, Myötähäpeä, that means ‘secondhand embarrassment’.

It is also often compared to the rather famous German word ‘Schadenfreude’, which means ‘taking joy in somebody else’s pain or misfortune’, though Schadenfreude certainly implies a slightly more vindictive tone. A shorter English translation is ‘malicious pleasure’, so it’s the enjoyment of someone’s embarrassment, rather than feeling the shame yourself.

Schadenfreude comes from the words ‘schaden’, meaning ‘harm’ and ‘freude’ meaning ‘joy’, so the literal translation would be ‘harm-joy’. You might recognise it from the Tony Award winning musical ‘Avenue Q’, which has an entire song devoted to the word. This may have led to the word’s increased popularity from the early 2000s onwards.

If we take it back a little further, Aristotle’s ‘Nicomachean Ethics’ used ‘epikhairekakia’ as part of a triad of terms, in which epikhairekakia stands as the opposite of phthonos, and nemesis occupies the mean. Nemesis is ‘a painful response to another's undeserved good fortune’, while phthonos is a painful response to any good fortune, deserved or not. The epikhairekakos person takes pleasure in another's ill fortune.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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What is going on, fellow words worms? Welcome to today’s installment of An Assemblage of Grandiose and Bombastic Grandiloquents! Now before we begin, I need you to understand something, listeners. Today’s word is not penguin. Though today’s word bears an audible resemblance, we are not discussing the cute, flightless birds. Listen closely, for today’s word is: pinguid.

Pinguid is a word from the 1630s that means ‘resembling fat, oily or greasy, or unctuous’. Hopefully one is not using this word to refer to someone personally. It comes from the Latin ‘pinguis’ which means ‘fat, juicy’, or figuratively, it can mean ‘dull, gross, heavy or comfortable’. For example, you might say ‘My goodness, what a pinguid steak they’ve served me!’ but you could also say, ‘Oh my, this bed setting is awfully pinguid.’ In ‘Sylva, Volume 1’, John Evelyn wrote, ‘They thrive (as we said) in the most sterile places, yet will grow in better, but not in over-rich, and pinguid.’

It comes from the stem of ‘pinguere’ which has many definitions including:

fat, plump;

Thick or dense;

dull, insipid, not pungent - when relating to taste;

oily, rich, full-bodied - when relating wine;

fertile or rich - when relating to land and

heavy, dull, stupid, obtuse - in relation to the mind, figuratively.

It can also mean figuratively bold or strong, or quiet, comfortable or easy. Pinguere as a word is really quite versatile!

Pinguid’s antonym is ‘exīlis’ which is a Latin word meaning ‘small, thin or slender’. It can also mean ‘lank, meagre, feeble or inadequate’. The word ‘exile’ meaning ‘to bar someone from their native country’ is a descendant of this word.

Isn’t language wonderful?

Written by Taylor Davidson, Read by Zane C Weber

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