An Earful of Convoy/Cocktail/You've Got Mail/Jumper

In this week's episode of Earful of Cocktail, we celebrate the life of famed movie star and bartender Tom Cruise. As Brian Flanagan contemplates his own mortality, faces his addiction to love, and staves off hug-me eyes, light dawns on Marble Head. Guest for "With Fresh Eyes": Marc Chambers, host of the podcast whose name we all know. #RIPTomCruise #NeverRecover #StickWithTheBrew

An episode with all the excitement of the Keynesian revolution... but wait, there's more! Brian Flanagan goes full frogman, concurrent with matriculation to the University of Toronto. He's slipping and sliding behind the bar, scoring big tips from the waitstaff and BIGGER tips from Douglas Coughlin. The cocktail gang analyze the terrible, terrible drinks of the 1980s that are screamed in Brian's direction, as well as the vacant heart of 1980s greed. What does it mean? Nothing! Also featuring "With Fresh Eyes", with DJ scuttle_toes.

Outwork, outthink, outscheme, and outmanoeuvre: that's the strategy for the Cocktail Gang as we address the second five, as Brian Flanagan pursues other avenues and wears many ties. We are introduced to the first of Coughlin’s Laws, and hear the chilling name of "McDougall" for the first time. A lot happens during this episode: the psychology of Uncle Pat is delved, logical positivism is assessed, and we even start a lawsuit! Along the way, we attempt to solve the mystery once and for all: did the Mets win the World Series in 1969 or 1965? The movie "Cocktail" offers clues. New feature: "Coughlin’s Laws."

The Cocktail Gang gets "Wild Again" as we set off on a new podtail... or should we say "pod tale"! After all, we have a Whale of a Story to share with you: the story of brash, young, scared military man Brian Flanagan and his dreams of owning the city of New York, one spinning bottle of liquor at a time. New features are debuted: "Drink of the Ep", "Flair in the Air", and "Who Let the Spoilers Out?". We pick apart the film’s depiction of masculinity in the 1980s, fill you in on the latest news and gossip about Gilles Gothic, examine the roots of George W. Bush’s imperialist aims, and check up on your favorite Long Island City subway stops. As we’ve always said, there has to be a crossroad, a place to draw the line. And as always, we attempt to answer the question, "what is theirs and what is mine?" The answer may surprise you.

PARTY EP

In the FFF (final full five), Earful is cut short by ten minutes due to baseball, but the Convoy crew perseveres with their unique style of controlled individualism―through asking the tough questions ("Why does Dirty Lyle Laugh?" "How did Duck grow a beard?"), and substantial research into Jonty Rhodes. For the second-to-last-time, we wish you a thumbs-up goodbye. (This episode brought to you by our new sponsor, vipfaq.)

As it happens to all Peckinpah protagonists, death comes to Rubber Duck. But the Konvoy Krew are alive and well; smashing, crashing, and analyzing the death of Duck at the hands of Lyle, the Texas governor, greenies, and purploids. Some fun on-air forum registration, some misplaced CDs, but mostly an embarrassment of analysis―was it correct for the Texas National Guard soldiers to run directly at their own machine gun? Would sand have been better? Let us be the judge! Steady progress towards finishing a Chip Davis email, challenging non-linear literature is explored in a plus-sized Pageful of Convoy segment, and special notes by "St Louis Dump Trucks". He lets us know what ol' Ernie Borgnine had to say about Fish Costumes, and tells about the director's cut of Convoy THE ESTABLISHMENT doesn't want you to know about.

#GetWoke with the Convoy gang as we adjudicate canon in an action-packed episode: Duck gets separated, Pigpen crashes/mumbles, and the Bear gets into the Hardware. But importantly, we follow the money and see how deep it goes. Go Blue Pillin' with the Convoy gang and see how careless trucking causes wrecks. Go Red Pillin' with the Convoy gang and see how Steve Chasey Love coerced crowds of schoolchildren to their almost certain death. How many schoolchildren? We count! So sit back, buy a drinko, and try not to get too hot-blooded When Melissa Shrugs. Not featuring the famous segment "The Convoy Gang Writes An Email".

A meaty chunk of Convoy analysis for all the Convoyheads out there! Alan and Hervey really expore the social and political implications of the 19th five minutes, finding a surprisingly coherent anarcho-syndicalist message. (Maybe Old Sam was a good Union Man after all!) Meanwhile, we discuss the hypothetical sequel (Convoy 2: Mr Duck Goes to Washington), get our hands dirty with "Cannon Fodder", eat some matzoh, and apply the appropriate amount of hand-wringing for our part in normalizing President-Elect Trump. But ultimately, we must never forget, it's *Melissa's Five Minutes*.

In an episode that critics are calling "overlong", the Earful gang picks apart the 18th five minutes of Convoy in very much the same way that Rubber Duck and pals pick apart Alvarez, Texas. Updates on a new feud with Chip Davis's publicists, comparisons with the Wild Bunch, C.W. McCall's surprising net worth, and the holidays. We get expert insight into the rules of Crazy Eights with Shiney (Don't Call Me Spider) Mike, and give you evergreen updates on the battle between the American League and National League. If you don't listen to the last half hour, we won't hold it against you!