I wanted to get a “part 2” to you quickly—to fill in and expand what we started yesterday about the nine steps of courtship and diving into the first step (Beauty and Mystery) of the first phase (Attraction and Desire.)

We will begin to get into some audio instruction weekly, beginning with a talk that serves as a framework for getting quickly up to speed on how Romantic Dynamics® works overall. We will then cover each of their nine steps of courtship in audios.

In this first lesson, and each one thereafter, I will list the notes I’ve used to give speeches to my classes on these steps, so I will use those as we go along.

I wanted you to have them here so that you can see what I’m addressing in the audio.

An Overview of Romantic Dynamics®:

The Nine Steps of Courtship

▪ (CONTINUED from Part I)

▪ The relation between Passion, Masculinity, and Femininity

▪ Higher Masculinity = Higher Passion

▪ Higher Passion and excitement = Higher Masculinity

▪ Higher Femininity = Higher Passion

▪ Higher Passion = Higher Femininity

▪ Femininity directed at a specific man both raises the woman's femininity and the man's masculinity

▪ Masculinity directed at a specific woman raises both the man's and woman's femininity.

▪ What ruins these relationships is pathological narcissism and selfishness, where women socialize just for male attention, or men socialize just for female "groupies"

▪ Imprinting

▪ Konrad Lorenz - the ducklings.

▪ Very interesting - like FIRMWARE of the mind

▪ Preprogrammed, but will only turn on in SPECIFIC circumstances, where conditions are met (and this is key): AT THE RIGHT TIME.

▪ Seen in children and attachment

▪ But if we think about attachment as we do today - how it goes on long term or for life

▪ Then we might see how human courtship is also majorly an IMPRINTING PROCESS

▪ I Love what Lorenz says: that IMPRINTING IS FOREVER.

▪ In a chaotic world of romance, this is about the best promise that science could make us about love.

▪ It goes control if one is very attentive to CONDITIONS and TIMING.

Mindfulness and Observing Ego

▪ What helps you see the instinctual processes going on and to direct them better is Observing Ego

▪ OE helps you by being the narrator of your life, the bird's eye view

▪ Present minded

▪ Mindful

▪ Accesses the past and future

▪ Has balance and harmony

▪ accessed by the five senses, intimacy, decisions, and actions

BEAUTY IN THE FEMALE

▪ What is Beauty, and how do you use it?

▪ Beauty is not just male "leering." It is about physical health, symmetry as a measure of genetic robustness, clear skin, and a healthy mind, all indicators of successful offspring.

▪ As with all steps of courtship, the instincts work hand in hand. Men are "visual" unconsciously and instinctually regarding the senses. And so of course, they see physical beauty first, literally, before "what is inside." Their instincts are attuned visually to be wary of predators, spot food, etc.

▪ And so the woman's attention to her health becomes to the man's unconscious, "food" ("I could eat you up") or "the objective," which sounds quite a bit like the word "objectification" and yet has a highly positive usefulness. The woman is the "apple of the man's eye," which carries overtones that harken back to the "Female Oedipus" and her relationship with her father.

▪ Women will have automatic physicality when around the man of interest or men of interest. These will take the form of postures, gestures, closeness or proximity, the role of her shoes, handbag etc, and of course, the eyes.

▪ Biologists have called these "submission signals." However, we call them "Attraction Signals."

▪ "It's not what you've got, but how you use it."

▪ Call it a set of instincts, either the Aphrodite Instinct (for the single female, image above) or the Psyche Instinct (for the married female, image below)

▪ See the film, Closer for great examples.

MYSTERIOUSNESS IN THE MALE

▪ What is Mysteriousness and how do you use it?

▪ Men also have two modes for their step, that of being Mysterious. This also is informed by the "Female Oedipus" and flows naturally into the next step (being gentlemanly), but a way of acting like a father, kind, caring, and so forth, but not before being mysterious.

(Book versions such as the below are found at the “Books” button of romantipedia.substack.com.

▪ The Hermes Instinct - quick talking, communicative, fast, hard to follow or find, and the trickster, full of humor. Think of a little boy in third grade teasing a girl.

▪ The Eros Instinct - the married man's mystery, where the woman may succeed or fail to discover that his secrecy only hides the fact that he is a god, not a monster. And so her curiosity leads to illuminating both him and their relationship as being highly valuable.

▪ You can tell what is mysterious by what it is not - that if it cannot be labeled, it is mysterious, and if it incites curiosity, then it is mysterious.

▪ The feminine instinct participates in this, too in the sense of her Artemis Instinct starting to go online, which is the natural "detective" in a woman, and which causes her to pursue answers to questions.

▪ If she asks questions or tries to place a label on him, he is mysterious.

▪ There are numerous facets to what a man can do or say, which can spur curiosity or an attempt at labeling and being mysterious, from clothing to neutral comments, perfectly neutral, to innuendoes, to participation in storytelling and physical paired activity like sports and dance. See the film Match Point for great examples.

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