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安全感 (Sense of Security, Sense of Safety)
安全感就是人渴望穩定、安全的心理需求。我們每個人都在不斷地尋求安全感,但真正的安全感,來自於一個地方,那就是我們的內心。安全感的意思是安全無虞的感覺。安全感是一種感覺、一種心理;是來自一方的表現,所帶給另一方的感覺;是一種讓人可以放心、可以舒心、可以依靠、可以相信的言談舉止。一個人在成長的過程中,只要生命中存在一絲光明和溫暖,就不會被外在的黑暗和寒冷完全吞沒。因此,只要有一個人能給他人理解、回應、信任,就會幫他建立起一點點的安全感。人生本來就不安全,不會因為我們多一分擔心,就少一些變數。真正的安全感,來自我們的內心。有安全感的人,不一定佔據著社會上最穩固的資源,但一定有這樣的天賦--「不在乎有的,不惦記沒的,不害怕失去的,不追求強來的。覺得什麼都是自己的,萬一什麼都不是,也無所謂。對得到的,適可而止,對失去的,心無畏懼。」 大部分人所謂的安全感,就是在社會生活中,或是在情感生活中,有穩定不害怕的感覺。安全感,有主觀與客觀的。首先,安全感是要讓對方相信自己。讓對方相信自己,不是一件容易的事,我們必須能夠在言談舉止方面,體現承諾。
另外,安全感也是在一個共同體中,有自己的歸屬感。無論是在學校、公司、地區、社會等,只要有被接納的感覺,就是有安全感。安全感是給人很可靠的感覺,讓人無時無刻都覺得很有精神,什麼事都可以自己完成,不靠別人。安全感是自己給自己的,是「一種從恐懼和焦慮中,脫離出來的信心、安全和自由的感覺」。馬斯洛認為,安全感是決定心理健康最重要的因素。
Being comfortable with our life as it is, does not just mean that we are OK with the external elements in our life, such as our job, where we live, our relationships. It also means that we have some degree of comfort and security in our sense of self. The self can be understood as the system that organizes our experiences. It consists of the sensations, feelings, thoughts, and attitudes we have toward ourselves and the whole world. Our emotional health is related to us having a cohesive, strong, balanced and joyful sense of self. When this is not so strong, and we are constantly uncertain of ourselves, we may find that we are always looking for approval and the validation of others. We can get unduly knocked down by their criticism. In other words, when we feel we are disapproved of, we feel crushed, and when we are praised, we are on cloud nine. Our sense of value comes not from within ourselves, but is dependent on others.
However, when we have a strong inner sense of self-cohesion, we have confidence about the acceptability of our personality even when others are not around. We develop a sense of inner security, and this inner resilience calms us in times of stress. We can bounce back from the inevitable wounds which are caused by temporary failures, rejections, and disappointments. When we are young, this sense of self grows through a dependence on our parents. As we gradually grow up, we develop a secure base inside ourselves. In other words, we can regulate our emotions inside ourselves, without too strong a need for others. We are able to be psychologically alone. This allows us to begin to feel secure within ourselves, and crucially we internalize the feelings of love which we receive from our parents. We incorporate the sense of security, safety and confidence into our body, mind, and psyche. We, then, have the contentment with ourselves that we can play alone, without needing to look over our shoulders to others for their validation. As adults, we develop our capacity to be alone. We learn to be with ourselves, allowing our fears arise and pass away without giving them undue (不當的) space. On our secure self, we are not leaning onto other people for their presence; we are content with our own always.
安全感 (Sense of Security, Sense of Safety)
安全感就是人渴望穩定、安全的心理需求。我們每個人都在不斷地尋求安全感,但真正的安全感,來自於一個地方,那就是我們的內心。安全感的意思是安全無虞的感覺。安全感是一種感覺、一種心理;是來自一方的表現,所帶給另一方的感覺;是一種讓人可以放心、可以舒心、可以依靠、可以相信的言談舉止。一個人在成長的過程中,只要生命中存在一絲光明和溫暖,就不會被外在的黑暗和寒冷完全吞沒。因此,只要有一個人能給他人理解、回應、信任,就會幫他建立起一點點的安全感。人生本來就不安全,不會因為我們多一分擔心,就少一些變數。真正的安全感,來自我們的內心。有安全感的人,不一定佔據著社會上最穩固的資源,但一定有這樣的天賦--「不在乎有的,不惦記沒的,不害怕失去的,不追求強來的。覺得什麼都是自己的,萬一什麼都不是,也無所謂。對得到的,適可而止,對失去的,心無畏懼。」 大部分人所謂的安全感,就是在社會生活中,或是在情感生活中,有穩定不害怕的感覺。安全感,有主觀與客觀的。首先,安全感是要讓對方相信自己。讓對方相信自己,不是一件容易的事,我們必須能夠在言談舉止方面,體現承諾。
另外,安全感也是在一個共同體中,有自己的歸屬感。無論是在學校、公司、地區、社會等,只要有被接納的感覺,就是有安全感。安全感是給人很可靠的感覺,讓人無時無刻都覺得很有精神,什麼事都可以自己完成,不靠別人。安全感是自己給自己的,是「一種從恐懼和焦慮中,脫離出來的信心、安全和自由的感覺」。馬斯洛認為,安全感是決定心理健康最重要的因素。
Being comfortable with our life as it is, does not just mean that we are OK with the external elements in our life, such as our job, where we live, our relationships. It also means that we have some degree of comfort and security in our sense of self. The self can be understood as the system that organizes our experiences. It consists of the sensations, feelings, thoughts, and attitudes we have toward ourselves and the whole world. Our emotional health is related to us having a cohesive, strong, balanced and joyful sense of self. When this is not so strong, and we are constantly uncertain of ourselves, we may find that we are always looking for approval and the validation of others. We can get unduly knocked down by their criticism. In other words, when we feel we are disapproved of, we feel crushed, and when we are praised, we are on cloud nine. Our sense of value comes not from within ourselves, but is dependent on others.
However, when we have a strong inner sense of self-cohesion, we have confidence about the acceptability of our personality even when others are not around. We develop a sense of inner security, and this inner resilience calms us in times of stress. We can bounce back from the inevitable wounds which are caused by temporary failures, rejections, and disappointments. When we are young, this sense of self grows through a dependence on our parents. As we gradually grow up, we develop a secure base inside ourselves. In other words, we can regulate our emotions inside ourselves, without too strong a need for others. We are able to be psychologically alone. This allows us to begin to feel secure within ourselves, and crucially we internalize the feelings of love which we receive from our parents. We incorporate the sense of security, safety and confidence into our body, mind, and psyche. We, then, have the contentment with ourselves that we can play alone, without needing to look over our shoulders to others for their validation. As adults, we develop our capacity to be alone. We learn to be with ourselves, allowing our fears arise and pass away without giving them undue (不當的) space. On our secure self, we are not leaning onto other people for their presence; we are content with our own always.
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