In fourth grade my teacher wrote, has potential on my report card. In third grade I got straight A's and the kids were mean to me. I talked too much. That was written on my report card too. 

Too much for some. Too little for others. Always somewhere in the middle trying to be just enough for everyone else. I dated men I could control the outcome with because it kept me safe. Clocked in at Corporate America and let someone else decide how much my time was worth. I once told a guy I could run and that was obvious in the first 5 minutes trying my first uphill run. 

This is the episode about the pretzel we twist ourselves into so that other people are comfortable. About where we hide our sexuality, shrink our power, and tone down our intensity because the room punished us for it.

You were never too much. You were never too little. You were always perfect.

What you desire wants you too. What if you already knew that with certainty? It's already yours, it's already here. 

I bought a few Mercedes' over eleven years. Never posted a single picture of any of them. Not because I was hiding. Because they were mine.  presence for myself, not performance for applause.

In this episode I am talking about quantum tunneling and why it is proven by science and physics, not woo woo. The $330 in DMV fees that were magically waived because I walked in already knowing. The house I bought 60 days after setting the goal as a single parent. The Restoration Hardware catalog I picked up in the mail room while my neighbor left it there because everything in it was too expensive. And what happens when you stop fighting the mountain and start feeling what is already on the other side of it.

At dinner at one of the nicest restaurants in San Diego, a multimillionaire woman across the table asked me - what is high maintenance? And I told her ,High maintenance means other people are uncomfortable with your standards.

This episode is for the woman who has been called too much, too intense, and started to believe it. We are talk about the patterns that are begging to be interrupted. The situation ship that keeps you hooked on one more hit of dopamine. A relationship where you make his needs more important than yours. The version of you that has been contorting herself to fit a room that was never meant for her.

We are also talking about what happens when you stop. When you walk in so anchored in yourself that the room has no choice but to calibrate to you. That is not high maintenance. This is just you coming home to yourself.

The other side of dark times. 

⚠ This episode has a trigger warning.

🎧 Pop in your headphones if others are around.

This is the first episode of Pages from My Diary, where I open up the parts of myself I'd rather no one see. Not because it's comfortable, but maybe it helps or inspires one person out there. this is for you- the ONE.

For the past year, I had a date on my calendar. Three times I moved it and now that option is off the table.  For-ev-er. 🚫 

for the one who is smiling on the outside and crushed on the inside. The one who is still answering texts, still showing up, still laughing, while something inside is quietly hurting.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Identity: What happens when everything you thought defined you gets stripped away at once.
• The Vinegar: About the wine you saved for a special occasion that turned to vinegar.
• The Choice: Deciding to stay, not because everything is fixed, but because you choose to trust what's coming.

If you've lost someone who "chose out," this episode is for you, too. Compassion and understanding from someone who has lived experience. ❤️

The best is yet to come. ✨ And I want you to believe that, too.

 🙏 RESOURCES: If you or someone you love is struggling, please reach out. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7. 📞 Call or text 988 (USA) or your local emergency services. 

What if being content and being ambitious aren't opposites afterall, and we get to hold the duality of both? 

In this episode, Antonia sits down with Cami, a new mom navigating one of the biggest identity shifts a woman can experience. What starts as a conversation about motherhood opens into something much deeper, the fear of losing yourself, the guilt of wanting more, and what it actually means to be fulfilled without shrinking your dreams.

Cami shares how pregnancy unexpectedly cracked her open, not by making her want less, but by finally letting her want from a place of peace instead of scarcity. She spent years chasing a version of herself she thought she had to become before she could have a life. Then everything shifted.

Together, Tonia and Cami talk about:

• identity shift that happens when you become a mother — and why it doesn't have to mean losing who you are
•  "void" — that uncomfortable in-between space where who you were and who you're becoming don't yet feel connected
• Why the games we play with ourselves to stay "ready" are just other people's stories in disguise
• Confrontation as a skill, not a personality flaw
• What contentment as a wife actually looks like when you're still building something
• Human Design and why working in alignment with your wiring means you don't have to hustle yourself into the ground
• How your ambition and your peace can exist in the same body, at the same time

This episode is for the woman who loves her life,  her husband, her baby girl, her home and still honoring that pull toward something more. You are not ungrateful. You are not selfish. You are not too much.

You're just made to be too much, but too much...according to who?