Anchored Leadership: For Business Owners Ready to Lead and Not Just Manage

I’m inviting you to join the phenomenal conversation I have with my guest today, financial planner Jillian Vukovich. Wherever you are, join us as we talk frankly about money, navigating friendships as colleagues and clients, and how being human and mental health fit into business. There’s a lot to learn.

Jillian shares the very personal story of how she got into the finance industry. It’s not a place she ever imagined ending up but the way she came to it is beautiful. And who needs a financial advisor? I ask her that million-dollar question and she answers honestly. She has advice for all of us at whatever level of business we’re in.

How should we teach our kids about money? What did our parents teach us? Does being vulnerable help or hinder a business relationship? These are just some of the questions Jillian and I tackle together as we discuss the ins and outs of being an entrepreneur, a woman, a business owner, and dealing with finance.

Key Moments

15:20 Money is fluid and psychology plays a big part in finance

22:33 The pros and cons of generational financial advice

38:15 Being human in business

• What the one-third/one-third/one-third piece of advice is all about
• What’s the best way to manage client relationships that have also become friendships?
• Mental health and how it drives success and understanding

About Jillian Vukovich:

Jillian has been in the financial services industry since 2011, beginning her personal practice in 2016. Jillian specializes in assisting business owners and incorporated professionals with the growth and preservation of assets, as well as the legacy of their estate. 

Jillian holds the RRC and CFP designations. 

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Resources discussed in this episode:

• Anchored Leadership group coaching
• “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear” by Elizabeth Gilbert
• Annual charity event created and run by Jillian in support of the Mustard Seed's School Lunch Program: Bowls for Bellies

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Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

• Website: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Facebook: BeTheAnchorLtd
• Instagram: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Linkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd 

Contact Jillian Vukovich | IG Private Wealth Management:

• Website: JVIG.ca
• LinkedIn
• Facebook
• Instagram

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Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us, to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode, so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends. So here's how I'm picturing this is that you're headed to work. You're commuting. Maybe you're dropping your kids off or you're taking some time to just go for a walk. Well, today, I want you to invite Jillian and I to come along with you. We have recorded, I think, a phenomenal episode around business. We talk about money. We talk about navigating friendships as clients and colleagues and doing all of the the messy work in between. We talk about what it means to be human and mental health in business. I want to just invite you to listen as if you are part of the conversation. And let's just hang out together and go for a walk. So glad you're here.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:57] All right. Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business leadership coach Kari Lotzien. I am so excited to introduce my inaugural guest for the podcast. I want to introduce you to Jillian Vukovich. She is the owner of a financial planning practice, and in the last episode I talked about my advisory board, my personal advisory board, and Jillian is one of these people that holds the integrator role. We've become very close friends over the last few years, and I'm just so excited for you to meet her. Jillian, welcome. I want to start off by just letting you introduce yourself. Talk to us about your story. What kind of got you interested in owning a financial planning practice? Was there like a personal experience or a story that you can share?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:02:52] Yeah. Awesome. Thanks. First and foremost for having me. This is so exciting. I'm so happy for you and for this step, this is awesome. So I never in a million years thought that I would end up in finance ever. Never. I could have told you a thousand things I would have done first. My background's in psychology. That's what I went to school for, and I had all of the big wishes and dreams of doing something in that side of things. And I honestly fell into financial planning totally by accident when we started using one, my husband and I, and when we spoke to our financial planner, I just saw a lot of things that I really liked and a lot of gaps. And I took it away and I thought about it for a while and realized that I'd have to say an awful lot of money is psychology. And I was like, Wait a minute, there could actually be a big opportunity in this world for this. And so as I was mulling it over and trying to decide if this was something I wanted to do in life, my dad got sick. He was diagnosed with stage four throat cancer. And my whole life, my parents had good jobs and earned well and everything seemed peachy and really, really quickly after his diagnosis and treatment, he ended up losing his business. He was a solopreneur. He was the only one. He was the guy. And when he couldn't do it, the business basically closed with him, and my mom ended up leaving her job to care for him. And it really just showed me the value of financial planning because they unfortunately didn't have a super solid plan in place. The plan was keep earning good money, keep spending good money, keep living a good life, you know, which I find so many people do, right? We get to a certain point in time and we earn enough and we make enough in life feels good. And you kind of forget that there could be a different side to this coin. So that came in and one thing led to another. And so I started my education boat to financial planning. So I got my my Master's in financial planning and have been just kind of constantly working on and upgrading education as time goes by to just become more and more educated in specific categories.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:08] I love the connection to your dad. So that entrepreneur idea, you grew up with. But then I think a lot of solopreneurs that I work with too, it's that idea of we don't even dream that we'll ever get kind of knocked off our business game.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:05:27] No, and I think so many of us like you develop this mindset that like, well, I am my business and so long as I'm here, which I'm going to be obviously every day, then I'm fine. And look at what I'm capable of and look at how much I've created and look at how awesome I am. And we get stuck in this, like things are great, things are great, things are great. And even if it's a lot, it still feels really positive. And I think not many people stop to say like, okay, but what happens if it stopped tomorrow? It's done. What does that look like? You know, and I think if people took a second to think of that, it's a pretty intimidating thought.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:05] Well, and you also referred that it wasn't just that he stopped working and then your mom could keep working, but he needed her to be a caregiver and to help, you know, look after him and what that looked, you know, just the stress that that puts on a family, including yourself as a daughter. And, you know, it sounded like by that point you had a partner and a spouse and, you know, you're building your own and that, you know, it really impacts more than just your business and yourself. But it really has such a a trickle down effect to your family and the people who really care about you.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:06:38] Yeah, well, 100%. And I mean, skip forward. He's still alive. Hallelujah. But, you know, they ended up living with us for a while and it did, it just changed our, like, our demographic totally. And again, that idea of, like, money and what does it look like? And even for them, are there two of us? Is it just one of us. Do we have like two CPPs? Is there just one? Like, you know, these small questions that you normally wouldn't even think twice about that makes such a huge difference if you don't have a strong plan or background in place.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:10] You know what we're going to talk about? I can hear your little one in the background and that's part of it. It's, you know, like you just talked about, we don't just get to divide ourselves into business and parents and all of this. And I know that, you know, I just appreciate that we're going to bring all of this today. So hearing your little one in the background, not even an issue at all. This is what we're here for. We're here for it all.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:07:34] She just likes to say hi.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:36] Of course. Of course. She's like, hey, give me that microphone.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:07:39] Yeah, I want to say hi to everybody.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:42] So when I think of someone who owns a financial planning practice and you said, you know, this wasn't something that your parents had really had a well-developed plan. It wasn't something that you had grown up with, but that it was something that you and your husband initiated when you got married. What do you think some of the myths are of who needs a financial planner? Is it only the people who have, you know, big businesses and and lots of money to invest? Who needs one?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:08:10] Yeah, my honest answer is I think everybody, most people, in some capacity. Now, your financial planner doesn't always need to necessarily be a human. A financial plan could be developed through, you know, some reading and some education and some understanding all the way up to, yeah, I mean fairly complex situations you absolutely need a person to be there and advocating for you and in the background. So it's a big question because there's a lot of kind of hype and like negativity around financial planners right now and like, Oh, you're still using Dad's guy. Thanks Questrade like, you know, and so sometimes it isn't needed. Sometimes if you have an idea of like tax brackets and what's happening in your plan and what the pros and cons of saving in certain places are and you're saving regularly and you're, you know, not afraid of the markets and you're investing properly, you can run your own finances. And there are absolutely people that do that. I would argue that the majority of us aren't coming home from a long day at work and kicking off our shoes and pouring a glass of wine and turning on CNN and seeing what's happening in the world that day.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:18] I'm not.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:09:20] I'm not. And it's my job. So, you know, if you need more of a hands off approach, if you don't understand the pros and cons to any of the like, technically, we have three different places in Canada to save money.nIf you don't know that or the difference between them, it's probably good to get some advice. And then when you're seeking advice, there's multiple different levels at which you can receive it. So more and more financial planners are niching into certain markets and so dependent on what your need is as a client, you would find a specific planner for you, for yourself. And so, you know, the big thing I would say is don't just pick the closest person that you see or the first person you talk to. Like you really need to make sure that there's a very strong relationship there. This is a long time relationship. This is a pretty private and intimate relationship. And if you and or you and your partner are not both feeling equally comfortable with someone, it might not be the right person, which is fine. It's okay to try people on. Like this is one of those industries that you definitely want to make sure, much like your business coach, that you've got one that you feel comfortable with, that you trust the advice that you're receiving and you, dare I say, get excited about those meetings. Like, I get super jacked up about money meetings and I would love if my clients came in and were also like excited to have those conversations, right?

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:35] Oh, you know, you got me thinking about those days, especially early in my business, when I would dread. So the only time I ever talked about money was at year end, and it was when the accountant would go through my books and tell me how much I owed in corporate tax and how much, you know, money we had made and what our profit margins are. And it always came, you know, you talk about getting jacked and getting excited about a financial meeting. I know at the beginning at least I never felt that way. I never felt like it was something I could get excited to talk about. So I mean just that in itself. And what I hear, even as you're talking about books and just educating yourselves, I think so many of us have been raised to not talk about money, right? It's rude. You shouldn't ask how much someone makes. It's like asking a woman how old she is. Right? We kind of like we've been raised with this idea that you just don't talk about it whether you have it or you don't. And I would even argue to say it's sometimes easier for people to talk about not having it. It's easier to talk about being broke. It's easier to talk about how hard things are and the prices are going up and everything else. But having that proactive approach and kind of educating yourself and knowing what you're doing, I think is such a big piece.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:11:50] Think about it. Like, as far as I'm concerned, it rings true with everybody. Like if there's something that you don't understand or you don't know, I would argue that most of us just avoid it, right? If don't know how to use the weed whacker, I'm not going to use it, if it scares me to use it or I don't understand how the spool comes out, I'm not going to weed whack, even though it's probably fine for me to go and weed whack, you know? And it's just, it's the same idea. If you don't understand finance, if you don't understand what's happening, it's just so much easier to avoid it. But, you know, if that's the position you're in is in avoidance, it's probably good to find someone or something to educate you. And again, if it's as simple as, you know, you listen to a good podcast or read a good book, in such, you need to understand that those will always be very blanket statements, I mean they're not going to say, Hey, Jillian, specifically, you need to do this. They're going to say, Hey, did you know that this platform does this? And then you need to figure out if that works or not. But it's what I see time and time again. The people who are uncomfortable talking about it are the people who don't understand it. And it's just easier to put some blinders on and be like, You know what? I'll be fine. I'm just going to keep going. And if I keep going, I'll be fine.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:03] Yeah. It's like I'll try to earn as much as I can, and then I just hope that that lasts me long enough.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:13:09] 100%, hope and a prayer.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:10] I'll get to my death and maybe leave a little bit behind for others. Right? So I want to go a little bit deeper. I want to like peel back the layers of the onion. And if I was to, you know, we don't get to be in those meetings. We don't get the behind the scenes look at kind of what happens in one of these meetings. But what do you think would be something, without sharing confidential information about clients or anything like that, I know that that's something you would never do, but what do you think would surprise us about the meetings that you have as you're talking about finances and whether that is with a big corporation, whether that is with someone who's, you know, maybe just starting out like you and your husband, what might surprise us?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:13:53] Two things came to mind. So one is the amount of people who have wealth, a lot of wealth, and have absolutely no idea what it's doing. So, you know, we assume that people who are wealthy or who have been successful in primarily - so I work with primarily business owners and incorporated professionals. So, you know, I've done well, my business has done well. And from the outside looking in, you think like, oh, well, they've got it all together. Like they fully understand and they know everything. And you know, these people will come in and be like, I have no clue, I have no idea. We just have done well in business. And the flip side of that is the amount of people that aren't open to sharing that, hey, even though I have wealth, I don't fully know what I'm doing. You know, I've accumulated money, but I'm not sure. And now I have either so much or I'm a certain age and I'm almost embarrassed to ask now. Like it's easy for a 20 year old to be like, Hey, I don't know what I'm doing to save. It's much harder for a 60 year old to say, Hey, I don't know what I'm doing. I, you know, I've come all this time and I've just done the best I can and it's actually done fairly well. But I don't understand what these steps are. So that's a big part of it, is just this common misconception that, you know, just because someone's accumulated wealth that they have, like all the inner workings and the knowledge of of money and how it works. And that you can't ask, like it's never... Money is so fluid. The investment structure, the tax structure, everything that's happening changes so often that there's no shame in not understanding. Like I have a full time job because it changes so often. And I need to understand, right? There's no way you can expect that you would also know that on top of whatever it is you're an expert at. The other part is just how much of it is psychology, you know, and it came back to that for me. It's the emotions behind it. I spend very, very, very little time talking about like the fundamentals of finance and interest rates and rates of all kinds. And I spend an awful lot of time talking about how do you feel about this? Do you understand what it means? Are you sleeping at night? You know, what are your goals? What are your dreams? What are the big things you're trying to achieve? Why are you working so hard every day? Right? And this is the question I ask myself all the time.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:16:14] Why? Why are you working so hard every day? And when I have my big goals and my visions and I know and I understand and I understand monetarily what it takes to get there, then I can match my emotional energy with that and say, okay, I know I have to do these things so that I can achieve these goals that I'm pushing for, but now I have a nominal value to it, which a lot of people I find, that's where the disconnect comes. So yes, I want to buy a cottage for my kids or I want to make sure that they can be in that best hockey camp that exists or that we go on big family vacations every year, or that I'm leaving an estate and they don't have to worry about it. But very few people understand like, okay, but what's that number? What does that look like? So you just keep going and going and going and maybe you're working too much, maybe you're aiming too high, maybe not. Maybe you could have taken a rest three weeks ago instead of like, you know, continuing to go. So a lot of it is just coaching to the emotional side of things and knowing that not everybody reacts the same way. So it's really common for me in my practice to see that partners don't align perfectly with their finances and their financial vehicles, I'll say.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:17:26] Not the goals. They'll have the same goal in mind. So let's say like Mason and I, we want the same end goal. I happen to be very aggressive in the ways I'm going to take to get there because I understand it and I like it and I'm just a risk taker naturally, he's pretty conservative. And so we can do two different things and our money can work different ways and we can invest different ways and we can do different things. But we know that we're working towards the same end goal. And that's a lot of the conversation too, because a lot of times, you know, clients butt heads over money. It's one of the most common reasons why we get divorced, right? Is money arguments. And so it's often a disconnect in well, why? Why are we doing this? What are we working towards? What are we trying to achieve from this? And if can facilitate that conversation and add just some hopefully fairly simple tips and tricks to achieve it, I hope that that can alleviate a lot of stress in a relationship to just focus on the cool end goal that we want and and take some steps to get there.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:24] You know, it's interesting. I have just been having this thought that with so many of our arguments being about money, and I was listening to a podcast just last week and I had a bit of a tense moment when I was listening to it because it was a podcast around building wealth. And they said the number one thing that you can do if you want to build wealth is marry well. And he went on to actually say, if you are a spender and you marry a spender, you are headed for demise. That you will not be wealthy, that if you are a spender, you need to actively look for a partner who is more of a saver so that you can balance each other out. And I remember thinking like, Well, shouldn't we just marry for love? Shouldn't we just. But no.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:14] As I'm listening to you talk, I'm like, oh, my goodness. It makes sense because this the psychology of it and how we react to money, what it means in our lives, how we spend it, how we save. It says so much more than just about a financial plan, but it really is about that relationship and what we believe about ourselves. And it got me also reflecting, as you were talking about. Whether it's partners or. The time of life that we're living in. You know, you talk about what do I want my my money to give to me? What do I want to leave? What do I want to have it contribute to my life? And I think in my own life, when I think about my grandparents who lived through the Great Depression, who, you know, they were in the war times.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:03] I remember almost teasing my grandfather because he would straighten nails when they were renovating their basement. He spent hours doing it and he would save seeds from his garden for the next year. You know, he was just he was very frugal. And we would kind of almost tease him about it, not understanding that that wasn't something that he took lightly at all. He was designed to be a saver because he knew what it was like to go without. And then when I think of my parents being raised by the generation that literally didn't have enough, they really had to scrimp and save. They were kind of the generation that went okay, like make sure you get a job that has benefits and make sure you have, you know, stability and you have your RRSPs and your your financial plan is set up for security, not risk. And I think that there's this kind of generational pattern. And now that my kids, I hate to admit it, but they're getting to be young adults. And when I look back and I think, okay, so I don't manage money the same way that my grandparents or my parents did. The way that my husband's grandparents or parents did. You know, we're doing it a little bit differently, but now I'm starting to think about, okay, so what are the money beliefs that I'm passing on to my kids that might not suit them either? And I'm curious if you were to think of like just some basic money habits that you would suggest for this next generation of 20 somethings of just developing good habits, what would you tell them?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:21:46] Yeah, I mean, it's interesting just to take your note away, just a small second, is like it is, it's, you know, our grandparents lived through the Great Depression. Like, if you didn't have money, you didn't have money. Our parents were introduced to debt for the first time, and all of a sudden you could have all this free money, like you could just borrow whatever, you know, and for the first time ever. And then we've taken that on to say, okay, but how do I not over borrow, but also not, you know, just squander away what I have. And now and again, like I said earlier, I mean, money's changing so fast. Like once upon a time, not all that long ago, I took my paycheck to the bank and cashed it and took money away. And now kids, like, literally, I can give an allowance on my phone by tapping like a ding button for things getting done. Like money is changing so fast. So my first piece of advice is, and this is a hard one to say, but don't always listen to your parents or the seniors in your life because it's just different, right? It's different than it was. And not to say that they don't have your best interests in mind, but the way money works has changed an awful lot. And the availability and the kind of investments that are there now are so different from 5 years ago, let alone 15, 20, 30, 50.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:23:04] So, you know, some of the fundamentals might still be there. Don't spend more than you make, probably good you know. You know, don't get yourself up to your eyeballs in debt probably a good one. But when it comes to the like bones of what investing looks like, I find it really beneficial to speak to my peers about it, to speak to my friends, to speak to people. And it goes back to your point before like, Oh, we don't talk about money. It's so important to talk about money because we're all living the same thing, right? Like we're doing it in the same time the same way. So I just think it's really interesting. But yeah, I mean, some of the takeaways for kids, um, it's getting easier for, I don't know how to say this the right way, for kids to make money in weird to us ways. So you can just start like a YouTube channel and make $1 million when you're 12. Like it just is mind blowing. Or you can record yourself playing video games and make like literally hundreds of thousands of dollars a month. So there are more and more avenues for children to make money. Don't stifle those, right? Like this is, I don't understand it, I don't understand it for a second and I don't know why it would ever be. And I'm not saying like, set your kid up with a TikTok and make them famous, but these are jobs now. These are ways to make money. And then when they start making money, like kids are making money a lot younger now, you know, just getting jobs in different ways, just teach them some of the fundamentals for it. So like a good rule that I like to follow, especially with with younger folk, is so like a third, a third, a third. So I save a third for something that I want later. I have a third to spend on stuff I want now, and a third is for any kind of like debt servicing or whatnot. So I can't get a car or a home or a loan or anything that is going to cost more than my third of my income. Sorry, I should have said that. So when I make a certain amount of money, a third, a third, a third. And so if we can start that even just young. So if, you know, if our kids are getting $100 allowance, I don't know what allowance goes for these days, but let's just say it's 100 bucks.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:09] That's a good allowance.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:25:10] Is that a good allowance? I was like, I'm probably being really cheap.

Kari Lotzien: [00:25:13] I guess it depends if it's like weekly or monthly or, you know.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:25:17] Who knows, right? So, you know, if you then take that and say, okay, I'm going to put $33 towards whatever I owe or something I intend to owe on, like I want a car or my tuition or sports teams like that's expensive. Don't just depend on your parents for that, right? Like, if you want to be in it, be in it. And to be honest with you, from the other side of things, I see RRSPs and kids going to school all the time and the children who make the most of it, just as a generalization, are kids who also had to put their money into their own education. So when you get a free ride through school, you don't take it as seriously because you didn't pay for it. Right? So it's easier to, you know, maybe not take it as seriously or do the full four years of something that you hate because, well, whatever, you know, it's being paid for anyways versus when some of their money's in it, I mean, that's their money. There's no messing around, right? This is, it changes the dynamic a lot. And so I say the same for sports.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:26:16] I mean, if kids are in a $10,000 a year sport, put some skin in the game, even if it's a bit. Buy your own skates, buy your own sticks, whatever the case is, but put some skin in the game to show like how serious you are about it because it's also part of what life looks like when you're an adult. If I want something, I'm ponying up for it, right? And I think parents carry a lot of guilt about like, oh, I have to provide everything for my kid. No, you don't. You know, life's expensive and yes, is it nice? Yes, it's lovely. And is it a terrible thing to do? No. I don't want to talk anybody out of it. I'm just saying I see it time and time and time again where kids get further when they are also monetarily involved with it because they've had to bust their butt to get whatever that $500 stick costs like that was two weeks of work. Maybe I'm not going to just throw it in the garage when I get home haphazardly, right?

Kari Lotzien: [00:27:07] Yeah, I'm having a moment because I love how we shine light on our own beliefs and I love talking to people who think differently than I do because it allows me to kind of look at things differently. I just realized as you were talking that I had a belief that the only time that kids ever contribute to their own education, to their own sports, to their own clothing, whatever it is, is when the family is struggling. It's an old belief. But now what I hear and as I'm listening to you talk, I'm like, oh my gosh, we are setting up future entrepreneurs and business owners because one of the things we know about entrepreneurship is the most successful people are the ones who can delay gratification. So when we're taking that third and saying, I'm going to save this even if I don't have current debt. But I want it for the future. So I'm going to save towards the car, the tuition, the, you know, the business launch. When we introduce that mindset when they're really young and they start to understand that, I'm developing these habits, because I think so often we think that, Oh, the kids who have their education paid for, Oh, the kids who get all the best opportunities at the private schools and the great sports teams, and they get all of these things because they come from wealth, that they have a step up. And what I hear you saying is, no, no, it actually has nothing to do with money. It has to do with what is the mindset behind it in how you utilize the money to create the life that you want.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:28:44] And I mean taking away some of the entitlement of it. Right? And it's what life is. The second you're an adult, if you want something, you have to pay for it. So why would you not integrate that young? I mean, how much more successful can you make your child than teaching them from a really young age that if we want something, we have to pay for it and I'll match your 20% with 80%, but there's got to be something, right? And then there's more responsibility, pride of ownership, you know, just care given towards these things when it happens that way. Like I remember very openly, my parents bought me my first car. It was a 1990 hatchback Civic, leaked oil everywhere. And like it was good. I drove it hard. I was tough on that vehicle. And then the next one I bought, you better believe I did like ten kilometers an hour. And I buffed it every weekend. And it was the cleanest thing you could imagine. It was my car. I bought that. Right? And so if from a young age we can just show the value in it and how good it feels to have these things because you worked for it, right? And then, yes, we're raising the next generation of entrepreneurs and adults that are responsible with money. And then, dare I say you add a tiny touch of like philanthropy into that saying, hey, we're probably also very fortunate. So what happens if we gave a little bit away? What does that do? What does that look like? And, you know, add that into the mix and you're creating a really, really well rounded financial situation from a very young age.

Kari Lotzien: [00:30:20] This almost ties in to where I want to where I want to lead for the next part of the conversation. When I first met you, I remember so clearly. So we met, Jillian and I met at a networking event and I was feeling a little bit out of my element. These were all people that I didn't know, walked into this room, listened to her speak, and she spoke just like she is today. She's confident. She's got it together. She's just this image of what a successful woman in business looks like. And I thought, Ooh, I want to know her. But I was a little bit intimidated. And I think very quickly, I think maybe even in that same meeting, you talked as eloquently about some of the projects that you were giving back to, how you were contributing huge not only financial resources, but huge time and energy to creating events to help support the homeless in your community and I know that you give back to multiple different organizations, women who are getting back into the business world and having resources, clothing, to just be able to go to those interviews and feel confident. I just see this really beautiful blend. And one of the things that has driven my business and wanting to support especially females in entrepreneurship, is that I believe that when good people who have incredible values, who want to make the world a better place, when they are successful in business we all benefit. That there's this sense of I am not only going to develop my own wealth, but I'm going to develop more wealth in my community and more stability. And I just, I love how you have described that even with our kids and how you're building that in so young. Can you talk a little bit is that how you were raised? Was that a part of your background? Is that something you've developed over time? Like how did how did that come to you?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:32:32] 100% I was raised that way. So my dad was from a very, very poor family when he was young, and so he was homeless for a while. And he taught me from a really young age the value of money and the value of treating people the same regardless of money. So it was a really big lesson. And not just like said it once or twice, like my dad lived it. He turned our garage into a food bank, like our car garage into a food bank, and people were able to come and take food from it. And I'm from Toronto originally, and every every winter he would take coats and mittens and hats and and warmers packages out to homeless, and he would just hand them out on the streets. And, you know, it's just when you're fortunate, you just you have to give back in some capacity. And I'm not saying everybody needs to be, you know, Saint Terry like my dad. But, you know, taking some time to recognize, like sometimes things are hard and it doesn't feel good and you're stressed out and life's challenging. But when you take that step away to recognize like, boy, am I fortunate and then reengage, right? And how good does it feel to just give back? Buy the person in line behind you their coffee, like, you know, it doesn't need to be big things but like it feels good. It feels good to do. And then you go into your day a different way. And even if you just wake up with some gratitude and you go to bed with some gratitude, like running a business is hard. Life is hard. Kids are hard, Family is hard. Like it's hard. And we can get caught up in that pretty quickly.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:34:05] Or you can recognize how fortunate we are to live in a country that we can run our business, that we're women that can run businesses, that can have freedom of speech, that can, you know, like 50 years ago in finance, I'd get laughed out of a room, right? Like it wouldn't have happened. Fast forward to now. And I mean, it's just common place, right? So just being fortunate that or grateful for the fortune that we have and and teaching, you know, ourselves, our families, our communities just a little bit, you know, and it's you hear these things like, well, I'm just one person, how much can I do? Well, imagine every person, every person in the whole world did one thing, one thing. Imagine that change, right? Like and so that's how I just have to think about it. What's the one thing I can do today? And even though I'm beat down and I'm tired and I'm running behind and I've had 17 meetings, who can I do something nice for? And it could be a message. It could be a text saying, Hey, Kari, I think you're awesome, you know? And how does that change my day and how does that change your day? And I think it's just, it's something that's so important to integrate into life. And then honestly, one of the easier ways to do it is with money. It's quick, it's easy. Drop some money in the Salvation Army thing at Christmas, adopt a family or mustard seed school lunch program. I mean, there's so many ways to give back that take no longer than you spend going through Instagram to see whatever cool trends are happening today. Right?

Kari Lotzien: [00:35:34] Yeah. Two things I think about when you talk about that is, one, I've often said I think that service is one of the most selfish acts because it boomerangs so quickly. You can be having that rotten day. You can be feeling kind of down in the dumps and as soon as you send that text message, as soon as you think about someone else and consciously make an action to make their life better. It rebounds back to you and you feel better almost instantly. And I think we just have to get in the habit of that. The other thing that I wanted to draw attention to is, as you talk about your story and I think of that first time that I saw you in the networking meeting and I see this, you know, just well put together, very successful woman who just portrays confidence. And I think that so often, especially as women in business, you talk about being relatively new to the game, right, as a female in a financial planning industry that we kind of just got here. And to take our space at the table, I think a lot of times as women we tend to put on this like I've got it all together mask. We do our hair, we wear the clothes, but we don't often allow the more vulnerable side.

Kari Lotzien: [00:36:59] We don't talk about where we came from. We don't talk about our background or the fact that, you know, our kid was throwing up this morning and then we had to try and find childcare because we had that really important contract to land and that we're juggling all of the things. I think we tend to kind of compartmentalize and I think it's hurting us. I remember in our friendship developing how there was this awkwardness and it almost feels like you're dating for the first time. But there was a piece of me that knew like I had my friends from, you know, my childhood, my young adult friends, and most of them don't own businesses. And then I had kind of my business friends who were clients and colleagues and, you know, and I didn't know how to move from business relationship to could we potentially be friends and what might that look like and how awkward that is? And I think that this is something I just want to dive into the conversation with you about. How have you found that as someone who is kind of perceived as being successful in your industry, how has that affected your friendships? Or is this something you've just like mastered?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:38:13] No. I mean, the one thing I would say is I'm just I'm always a very open book. You know, I tried it first because I was really intimidated about being a female in this industry, and, you know, the judgment and whatnot would come and and I have to say, about 90% of it was in my head and 10% of it was legitimate. There's still definitely some some room to grow. But I thought I had to just like be this really poised, perfect, like show up like a total boss. And that's what would, you know, get me further and gain respect and do whatever. And then honestly, it was when my dad got sick, I was like, I'm a human being struggling to, you know, deal with a dying family member and a business and a life and all of this stuff. And I just started telling the truth and I just started sharing and I started being me and my business exploded. Because I was no longer this, like, intimidating, poised, must be nice being perfect gal. I was a human who has knowledge in a specific area, and as soon as I approach friendships that way, much like with you, I just am open to it. Right? I'm just, I'm a human, here's my story, this is what I like, this is what I suck at. Also, I'm really good with money, you know? And then I find you and you're like, I'm awesome, I'm a great coach, everything's good. But we click and we're good. And I think so long as you have that mutual respect of understanding, like, yes, I have a business, and for you and I, yes, we do business together, but there's also an outside of that and making sure that we just have the mutual respect of the human side.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:40:01] Yes, I'm a human and not every day is going to be perfect. But you know that I will show up with everything I have. You know, that's what you know. And even if it's not perfect, you know me as that. And so I think it's really important to just be real and I was sharing with you the other day a story, if I can, quickly. So we have a bunch of different partners with my practice and I had a lovely young woman come in who's like a portfolio wizard. She's through Western Canada and she's like, If you don't know something about the actual like, specifics to a financial portfolio, she knows everything. So she was coming in to my office, first time meeting her and was like, Oh, I'm kind of, you know, intimidated by this woman. Like she knows so much and there's so much that I don't know. And, you know, do I ask the dumb questions and yada, yada, yada. So she comes in, she sits down and we're talking for a few minutes. And I keep seeing that she's like like winking, kind of flitting her eye and was like, I mean, do I say something? Do I not? And, you know, I finally said like, hey, if you like, if you need a minute, I'm like, sorry, but like, if you have a contact out of place or something in your eye, like you can take a minute because she's trying to like talk through this twitch happening, right? And so--.

Kari Lotzien: [00:41:12] Because we've all been there, right?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:41:13] Yeah. And I'm trying to stay, like, perfect. Like, just be perfect. Just be perfect. Right? And so she was like, gosh, I'm so sorry. Like, so embarrassing. I've had this, like, pain in my eye. And so we just talked. We just talked about like, being a human being for a few minutes and talked about like, health and how we neglect our health because why would we take care of ourselves as women in business and all of the things? And it just completely eased the situation. And then our business conversation was awesome because we just, in a short period of time, we just built the trust and we built the relationship as people, as people just caring about each other and just having an honest and vulnerable conversation. And then it made the rest of it really easy. And I asked the stupid questions without feeling stupid because we built that bond and it was short. But I mean, imagine that that's just what we did in life.

Kari Lotzien: [00:42:10] You know, I think this is something even with you and I, like I do think it's different, because we're not only business colleagues and friends, but we're also clients of each other. And we often have conversations where we've just opened that up to say, okay, so I'm going to open up my financials to you, but then I'll give you that little bit of so the little voice inside of my head is saying, I'm not of the caliber that, you know, I don't have enough to be working with you or, you know, why would I take advice from a business coach who, you know, is running her own finances like that? Right? All those little - and I'm not even saying that that's the truth - but those doubts in my own mind and how, you know, we've done that both ways where we've said, okay, so I'm not actually sure, is this a business conversation or is this a friend conversation? And there's times where we'll even as we're, you know, texting each other or calling each other, where we'll just highlight that, I'm not sure where this should go. Should I be paying for this conversation? Should we be booking an official meeting and going through my portfolio or should we be, you know, cutting out some time to talk about the specific challenge at work? And I think that it almost just gives space or shines light on, Okay. I'm not really sure how to do this part because it seems kind of messy and then we sort it out together.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:43:33] Yeah. And I think, again, it comes back to open communication, right? Like, I don't know the amount of times that I'll like text or call and say, Hey, business question, I need a coach, I need my coach versus like, Hey, I need my friend versus, Hey, I'm calling you as your advisor, you know, and just titling it and knowing that that's okay. It's okay to have titles. It's okay that you and I have three different roles to one another, and we're really blessed and fortunate that we can interwork those, but we both understand it and respect it. So like, I'm never going to call you on the weekend with a coaching problem and you'll never call me on the weekend with a financials problem, but I might call you on the weekend as a friend and be like, Hey, do you want to go for a coffee? Right? And so just understanding, like, the boundaries, setting those boundaries and being honest about those boundaries with one another, right? And just saying, Hey, this is when I take business stuff and it stresses me out to do it on the weekend. And you'd be like, Cool, I will not contact you. Or vice versa. So, you know, just I think it's a unique thing to have those friendships. But if you can find them and you can label the different sections of it and then just stay in your lane, right, of what that is at that point in time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:44:41] Yeah, I'd love to say I don't think it's always quite that clean either. Like I think to highlight this is something we've really worked at over time. And in different friendships to say, okay, you know, how are we navigating this or this certain project that we're working on together? Or what does that look like? And I think it also takes huge investment. It's like a marriage. You need to be able to kind of sit in it and give voice to how you're feeling and kind of where the messy parts are and to navigate that together. Because I think the other thing that I want to just highlight, I don't know, I want to say that it happens more in female friendships, but I'm not sure. I have heard that your clients will become your friends far faster than your friends will become your clients. That our friends almost like want to put us in this particular box and they almost maybe feel, I don't know if it's they feel threatened, they feel that there's not going to be that confidentiality or I don't know what it is, but it can be really difficult, especially because I think as a start up business, when you're kind of hoping or relying on your friends becoming your clients because you need somebody to believe in you or someone to support you, and when that doesn't happen, it can, I think, damage friendships and relationships because then you don't feel supported in your business. I don't know. Can you talk about like just how have you experienced that? Is that?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:46:09] Yeah. No, I agree with you 100%. And honestly, you and I were even the same way. We worked together and then became friends because of it. And that's way easier, right? We like each other. But it wasn't that we liked each other that caused business to happen. I saw a lot of value in you as a coach and I said, Okay, well, this is someone I need. I've had a coach of some capacity for the better part of a decade and I saw a really great fit with you. And then it developed from there, right? And so I think it's the same. I mean, I remember I started my practice again almost a decade ago and, you know, yeah, you're leaning into those people, but it's like it is, it's the what ifs in your head. Well, what if, like, if I show her my cards, like, what does that look like? And is there judgment and is it shared and all of this stuff. And what I would say is go back to my previous comment of I'm really vulnerable in those meetings, too. I'm really vulnerable in those places. I share a lot, probably too much, you know, but what I'm doing is saying I'm no better or worse. You're no better or worse. We're people getting through this journey together and I have a specific knowledge that will help you and you have a specific knowledge that helps me, and that's that.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:47:22] And so I think it's when you're sitting with someone where that comfort isn't necessarily there the same way, or you're trying to just be the perfect put together, everything's awesome, I'm great. And then they're like, also my money situation is terrible and I think I'm going to leave my partner. And you're like, Oh, you know, it's, that's tough. And most people will avoid that. But if you can share, I mean, I tell the story about my dad all the time, with their permission, that was huge for like so many reasons. That was a massive family event. And as soon as you share something about yourself, people, it's calm, right? It's at ease. It's more of a conversation than like, spill your dirty secrets. And so, you know, when we're first starting in business, we want to come across as the I have it all together, I know it all. But I truly do believe that there is a lot of power in vulnerability. And just saying, you know, I'm also struggling or I have struggled with this or this is a challenge for me or, you know, can I share my story with you? And then you just build relationship in it from truth.

Kari Lotzien: [00:48:28] It's wild. You know, when you think about just like we have to practice being human. We have to practice just not putting on the brave face all the time and projecting that image of perfection that makes us really unapproachable.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:48:42] Well, and think about the world we're in right now, right? Like, I don't open my Instagram up and put what I look like at 7 a.m. I put my oh, here I am in my suit and my perfect day and my perfect world. You don't see the other side of it. This is what we're conditioned to do right now, unfortunately, in our society. And so I think the strongest way to build a relationship and to build trust is to get that out and just say, hey, I'm also just a human. I'm just here. I'm here for the ride. And again, I know something you don't, you know something I don't, that doesn't make anybody any better or worse. It's just we've learned different things.

Kari Lotzien: [00:49:16] You know, and tying into that, I think that in my experience, I've been in this entrepreneur journey for a while now. And for me, I mean, I'm just pushing past two decades and I think there are stages to this too, that I think at the beginning you need that kind of hustle and grind and you push and you try to put your best foot forward and, you know, fake it till you make it kind of idea. But I think that something that I'm really seeing is that entrepreneurs who have achieved a certain level of success, they've done the grit, the grind. They've they've gone through life experiences, you know, whether it's having kids or being worried about loved ones or going through huge financial shifts, roller coasters in the industry, that when you've been through that, there's a certain level of just wisdom I think, that comes with it, where you can show up in a place that isn't oversharing, it's not, you know, projecting the perfection. But you can sit in this dance in the middle where you're approachable, but there's almost a sense of trust. And now I know that I can open up to you because you've been there. And something that I've seen online in my groups of people who are incredibly successful, right? So I mean they're running multi-billion dollar businesses that we're starting to see more people in business open up about mental health, about anxiety and different diagnoses to say, you know, I can be all of this and also have this other side to me.

Kari Lotzien: [00:50:54] And I know for myself something that I have felt has been both my weakness and my strength, I've lived with anxiety my whole life. I really care about what other people think. I overthink sometimes to a fault and I'll get in my own way. And I think that when I was leading a team, especially, I would hide that because I would think, well, if I'm anxious and I'm leading a team that's going to make them anxious, so I shall lock that up and never show them. And it wasn't until, you know, later on where I kind of went, okay, I can start to show my cards, as you would talk about. But you and I have also had a lot of conversations about what this has been in your life as well. And do you want to kind of chat about that a little bit?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:51:39] Yeah, no, I'm good. So I'm probably a month into an ADHD diagnosis, which now that I know what it is, makes perfect sense. Perfect sense, you know? And so it was something I really didn't know about. It wasn't on my radar. It had never been suspected before. My family was really surprised about it, like it just kind of a left fielder. But when I started to understand what it was, I was like, Yeah, this is everything. And then I went into full panic, full panic mode because I was like, Oh my God, am I only successful because of this? Because I can multitask everything because I'm bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing all over the place. Right? And then I went into panic being like, what happens if I fix, fix, quote unquote this? Or then, like, my step further being like, well, then who am I? Like, who am I fundamentally, if I thought this was who I was, I thought I was this hyper achiever, I thought I was all this stuff. So I'm, like I said, about a month into some just like big, deep discovery. And so one of the things that my doctor had me do was an Enneagram personality test, which I thought was really neat and just kind of get to the core of like, who are you? Who are you? What are your fundamentals like? Where do you show up in the world? And then on top of that mix in, you know, a brain that's kind of here, there and everywhere.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:52:59] And how is that a detriment and how is it a benefit and what does this look like for you? So it's been really interesting to to learn about. And then open up about. I mean, again, I'm an open book with people and I instantly shared. I shared because it's my way of coping. I shared because it's my way of learning. You know, that was the biggest thing with my dad's cancer. The second I started talking about it, everybody has cancer, like everybody has a cancer story somehow, somewhere. Right? And it wasn't anything negative or - you know what I mean, it's not, of course it's negative - but like, you bond with people through this, through this disease or through whatever, right? So I was like, well, I have ADHD and threw my hand up in the air and instantly had multiple women in my circle be like, Yep. And so we're business owners. We're moms. You know, we're just go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And all of us are fairly recently diagnosed, whether it's trending or they're paying attention or it's just coming out at this point in time, who knows? But to all of a sudden have this circle where I can sit and be like, I can't finish a thing without doing 17 other things that I probably also don't finish and have somebody else say like, Yep, gotcha.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:54:19] And know that, right, because it's challenging. Like, like in your previous podcast, you have to have a cheerleader. My husband's my cheerleader all day, all day, everything I do, he's my guy. Until I half job something, and I've been half job Jill for ten years to him because he doesn't understand. He doesn't know. So he can't be my cheerleader for this because he does not understand what I'm dealing with and what I'm going through. And that's okay because he's supportive of it. He just doesn't understand it. So now I'm regrouping this pile of friends who are very similar in what we believe in and what we're doing and what our lives look like. But we also have this challenge and learning how to navigate this challenge together. And it's been awesome. It's been like the most amazing learning experience and, again, bettering relationships, bettering my situation in myself and my family and my community and my business, because I understand and I know I'm not alone in it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:55:17] Mm hmm. Oh, that's beautiful. And the reason I bring it up is not just to Hey, Jillian, let's talk about your ADHD diagnosis. But what I wanted my listeners to hear is that you have achieved what we would call that proverbial level of success. You are a kind person who is giving back and who has such huge empathy. And this is a part of your life the same way that I used to think that my anxiety was just such a detriment. And it was something that I felt like I battled. I wanted to just get rid of it. I wish, you know, who would I be if I didn't have this tagging along beside me? And I heard a quote from Liz Gilbert who wrote Big Magic, I don't know if you've read that book, but she talked about that idea of conquering. So she talked about, you know, someone who said to her, How did you conquer your fear? How did you overcome it? And she said, Oh, I didn't conquer it. I didn't battle it. Right? So you're not battling ADHD. I'm not battling my anxiety or conquering my anxiety. She said, I took it by the hand and I walk with it and I go, okay, okay. So I hear you, I see that you are getting very worked up right now, you are very worried. But we're just going to a lunch. These are probably going to be nice people. And I imagine now just how I would talk to a child who is really anxious, I wouldn't be so nasty. I wouldn't say, you know, come on, you need to overcome that. You need to battle it, let's go. This same way you're walking with, you know, this way that your brain works that allows you to be very, you know, focused on a lot of opportunities and allows you to be really engaged with things, but sometimes also means that things don't get done that you have the greatest intention to do. And instead of beating yourself up or conquering it.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:57:23] 100% and just having the grace with yourself in whatever that situation is, right? To just be like, okay, this is happening. And like it or not, this is the way today is going to go. So I can be mad about it or I can just go with it, you know? And yeah, from day one, I never ever saw it as a negative. I can definitely see why some people would think it was a negative, but it's just such a normal part of my life that was always like, I'm okay. It explains a lot, an awful lot and it helps me understand an awful lot. And now there's definitely a lot of literature and science that can lean into to continue to develop and grow, which is kind of cool because I just thought that, I just thought everybody thought this way. I just thought that this is the way people thought and that my husband was lazy. You know, it's literally like--

Kari Lotzien: [00:58:15] We've had this conversation.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:58:17] Yeah. I'm like, you just suck.

Kari Lotzien: [00:58:19] Why do you go so slow?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:58:21] Yeah, like, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Why can't we all go, like, always be achieving, always be doing. And he's like, Why can't you sit and read a book? And it's like, because I want to scratch my skin off if I sit for 30 minutes. I can't, right, until I learned why. And so it's yeah, it's been a really honestly magical journey to just understand, to open up a whole new network of people who are in the same shoes, who understand the same way, who I can send a one-off text to, to be like, Hey, I did this today or whatever, right? And like, we can laugh about it and go on because you can't change it and you can't fight it, you can't conquer it, so you might as well embrace it. This is a part of who you are, good, bad and different, and use it as your superpower. Right? You can use these things to grow. You can use this to push and become the absolute best version of yourself. And I would hate to see myself without ADHD, honestly. It's just hard sometimes.

Kari Lotzien: [00:59:17] Yeah, you can't just separate it out or medicate it out, right? That's not quite how it works.

Jillian Vukovich: [00:59:22] Yeah.

Kari Lotzien: [00:59:23] Thank you so much for having this conversation with me. I have just enjoyed every minute. I like to close my podcasts with just one question. When you think about all the things that you are building in your life, your dreams, your goals, your family, all of the things. How do you stay anchored? What makes you feel focused, calm, stable?

Jillian Vukovich: [00:59:50] My first answer is you. Which I'm sure wasn't meant to be a plug.

Kari Lotzien: [00:59:54] I honestly didn't plan that, guys. I didn't, there's no money being passed or bribes.

Jillian Vukovich: [01:00:02] I'll take my $20 later. No, it is, it's having strong resources in my life, and you are honestly one of them. And having those people that no matter what's going on that day or how I'm showing up, I know I can lean into to just be authentically myself. That's what keeps me going. That's what keeps me pushing every day. Some days are really easy and some days are really hard. But knowing that I have, you know, a handful of people in my life that regardless of how I show up, are there for me, is my motivator. It's what pushes me and allows me to keep going. And so absolutely, it's just having a tribe. Right?

Kari Lotzien: [01:00:46] Thank you so much for being here. I have just so enjoyed this podcast. If you want to contact Jillian, you can find her contact information in the show notes. Be sure to reach out and don't forget to like and subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode. Thanks for being here.

Kari Lotzien: [01:01:08] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers. But deep down, you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Have you considered the benefits of developing an advisory board for your life? Advisory boards offer different perspectives on aspects of your business and daily life. They’re very useful. In this episode I’m talking about the different types of people who comprise an advisory board and how each can help guide you.

I identify six roles for a life advisory board. Individual people who bring visionary ideas, encouragement, practical solutions, integration of logical planning, mentorship, and full stop truth telling into play when you need it. One person can’t be everything to you but an advisory board can fill all the roles you need.

I’m going to explain who these people should be, how well they should know you, and how to find them. You’ll also be part of an advisory board to others in your life, so take time to figure out your own strengths and abilities. It works both ways!

Key Moments

1:22 What is an advisory board?

4:04 Breaking down all six of the roles you need

13:39 How to interview for those positions in your life

• Who do you turn to for encouragement?
• Who are the mentors who help you focus on priorities?
• Advisory boards shine a light on blind spots in the business world, that’s what they will do for you too

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Anchored Leadership group coaching

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor: 

• 
  Website: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Facebook: BeTheAnchorLtd
• Instagram: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Linkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd 

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Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello and welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien. So glad you're here. Today, I want to talk to you about developing an advisory board for your life. Now, if you haven't heard about what an advisory board is or you haven't heard that term before, let me tell you, an advisory board is typically, within an organization or a large company, they are hand-selected and then targeted for the expertise that they can bring to a team to help fill in knowledge gaps so they can help you to break into new markets or industries. They're just there for consultation, so they actually don't have what we would call voting rights like a board of directors in a company.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:56] Now, what does that have to do with life? I think that it is critical to develop your own advisory board for your life. These are a group of people just like an advisory board in a corporation that you get to hand select, that you get to build your own group that helps to be the advisors for your life. Now let's back up because many of us have family and spouses and partners and kids, employees, friends, all kinds of people who truly care about us, who are connected to our lives and truly do want what's best for us. But sometimes those relationships may have developed years ago and those people might not completely understand the goals that you have in your life right now, the things that you're ready to just let go of. Have you ever experienced someone saying to you, Oh my gosh, well, I know that you're such a this type of person, or I know that you're really good at this and you kind of cringe and go, That is just not who I am anymore. Right? This might be, you know, sometimes we run into a friend from high school or university and they'll say something and it's like, Oh, that is just, that's not who I am. Well, the same thing can happen with friendships and family members that they just don't really know or aren't aligned with where we want to be right now. Now, this doesn't mean that you need to cut those relationships or that you need to cut those people off. They can still hold a very important role in your life. This is about developing something different, like an advisory board. I feel that there are six roles in developing this team, and when you do it strategically, which I have done, it makes crazy impact on your life. Now, these are the roles.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:04] Number one. The cheerleader. This is the person that just believes in you. They adore you. They are willing to be that person that when you are starting to doubt yourself or you're having kind of that schlumpy hard day, will be the person that goes, You've got this. I know you can do it. You've done it before. I've seen you fricking rock this. Push in. You can do it. And they are there on the sidelines just believing in you. We know that being around those people just feels good. Having cheerleaders is a critical piece. And I think a lot of us have these people in our lives. I can tell you I have a couple of them. So I have people that are just there. They just believe in me. But they're not the ones who I rely on when I need to have hard conversations or really difficult feedback or they're not the ones that I rely on when I want to really dig into an idea because that's not their strong suit. The other thing with an advisory board is we need to be really cautious that we don't look to one person to serve all of our positions. Many of us want this in our partners, in our best friends, in our spouses. We need to be really cautious of this because when we put too many roles on one person, it starts to feel like too much pressure for them. So when we divide it out, it can often work so much more easily. So the first one is cheerleader.

Kari Lotzien: [00:05:34] The second one is someone who is a visionary. This is the person who just loves to dream with you. They might be in the same industry as you. They might have similar interests to you or not, but they have a natural mindset where they can think big. What meetings or coffee or lunch with this person sounds like is you say, Oh, you know, I've been kind of thinking about starting a new business. I've been kind of thinking, maybe I want to take this new course and learn how to do pottery. I maybe want to learn how to paint watercolors. I want to take a course because I think I'd like to try climbing a mountain next summer. And this person goes, Oh yeah, that's amazing. And you know what else you could do with that? I was thinking about this, and they just build on your idea. This is the person who is so good at planting a seed and then just seeing what it could become as a full garden of possibility. This person tends to be a little bit higher energy. They are still very positive, but they're not the person that you're going to rely on to analyze how viable those things are. They're not the one that is going to go into all of the steps involved. Where is there a course? How can we do this? What do we need to do to set up all the individual pieces? They're just the person that allows your mind to explode with possibility.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:01] INSERT TAKE 2  Which leads me to the third person on your advisory board, which is what I would call the integrator. This is the person who is really good at strategy and logic. They're the ones that can take that big idea, once you've decided I really want to take my chance on this, and they say, Okay let's break it down. Where do we go? What do we need? What are the steps involved? How are we going to get there? And they put it into a step by step format. That person has, again, a very different role. If you rely on someone who is more of that strategy, logic, integrator personality, and what you're hoping from them is that they are your cheerleader, this is the person that sometimes if we're needing reassurance or if we're wanting to just explore a big idea and we are looking for them to be our cheerleader or the partner visionary, when we ask this person, it can sound almost like they don't believe in us. That they just make things hard and they ask us the hard questions and, well, how are you going to do that? And where do you find? And it's almost like they put the brakes on the plan before the plan gets started. But this person is still very necessary in integrating one step to another. I can tell you, naturally I'm a great visionary. I love thinking of 42 ideas of what we could do in a business. My natural tendency, I'm not as strong, especially in my own business, on the strategy, logic and integration side. I don't really like to break things down into really small steps to think about, okay, I need to do this and then this and then this. Often when I go into that, I get kind of deflated and it starts to feel hard and it starts to feel like too much. Someone who's really good in this role will be able to show you the step by step progress that you can make towards your goal without it feeling like they're kind of putting the water on your fire.(INSERT TAKE  They're helping you to align it, but you want to utilize that person in the way that that's their kryptonite, that's their strength, is breaking those things down.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:17] The next person you want on your advisory board. Number four is the expert or the mentor. This is someone who has gone before you, someone who has climbed that mountain, who has taken that course, who's developed that business. This person is going to be kind of your guide. They're not going to tell you what to do exactly. They're not going to be, you know, the person who says they're a boss and you must do it exactly the way I did. This is a person who helps you to really lean in to what's important. They help you to focus on your priorities, on that 20% of your attention or your energy that is going to contribute to 80% of your success. This person, I believe, helps to show you the possibility. They've gone ahead, you can see easily that this is what it looks like. This is what's possible in human form. This is the person that you can start to pair with your strategy, logic, integrator advisory person. When these two pieces come together, it helps to just give you the map or the framework to say, Here's how you get from where you are now to where you want to be.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:34] The last person. And I can tell you this is a very important but very difficult role to fill. It's the tell it like it is person. And I can tell you that this is a person that they have to have some serious hutzpah. This is a person that loves you and you know it. You know deep down that they're willing to share the hard stuff. They're willing to tell you what they truly see. But they know your soul, they know you at your core, and you love them at their core, because this is the person who, a) has the potential to really help you to set a course to help you overcome some of the big obstacles, the blind spots that you might not even see. But they also can have the potential to really hurt you because they know you so well that they can hit that really tender place in you that can make everything else start to crumble. I can tell you my person who is my tell it like it is person is my brother-in-law, Devon. I was terrified of the boy when I first met him. I'm not going to lie for probably the first 10-15 years that I knew him, I was a little intimidated because he's the person that lives his life in full stop truth. He says it like it is. And when I was young, when I was just, I didn't have my feet on the ground, I didn't have a lot of confidence. I didn't have that sense of I knew what I was doing in the world. And I felt like when he looked at me, he knew it. He saw all of my insecurities. He absolutely knew that it was all a show. I was trying to appear as someone who knew what they were doing, and I really wasn't. But over time, as we've gotten to know each other, I can now see his heart. And he sees mine. He cares in the biggest way, but he holds this space that when I ask him a question and when I say to him, This is what I need to know, I am going to get the full stop truth. It often stings a little when it first comes sometimes, other times, absolutely he's like, No, no, you're on the right track. You've got it. This is what I see. He will also sometimes bounce into my cheerleader position where he's the one that knows how hard I've been working or how difficult a situation is, and he'll be the one that'll just pop into my inbox and be like, You got this, You're incredible. So he can hold those two roles for me. I would say it is a long position to gain a ton of trust with someone to be able to do this. This role can break friendships, but it can also make them as strong as superglue.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:39] if you have developed your advisory team when you were in your 20s and they loved and cared about you and they knew you really well back then and they gave you advice. So at that time it might have been, you know, your parents, your spouse, your partner, it might have been your very best friend at the time. But if you're now 20, 25, 30 years from that time in your life and you have the exact same people sitting on your advisory board, I will challenge you. Are those people keeping you stuck in the person that you were 20, 25, 30 years ago? Have they evolved with you? Have they made the investment in knowing who you are now and they support that growth. They support those changes in how you're working towards maybe letting go of things that weren't working for you anymore, but they're not holding you in those roles. Again, you can love and have relationships with those people. You don't have to cut them out, but you can not have them hold a position on your advisory board in your life as it is right now.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:29] You want to make sure that the people who are on your advisory board now in your life are people who know your current goals. Your current dreams. They know your fears. And that they are truly qualified to hold the role that they're holding. Ask yourself if you're really wanting your partner to be the cheerleader in your life but naturally, they're more of an integrator, they're more of the questioner. Put things in order. They're the ones who likes to poke holes in your theory. That's their natural strength. Don't try to convert your partner or your best friend who has that natural strength and talent into being your cheerleader. Don't get upset about it. Don't get resentful and say, You know, I just wish you believed in me and this is what that would look like. Because what you're doing is you're trying to make them something they're not. Go and look for someone who is a natural cheerleader in your life who's aligned with your current goals and dreams. It might be someone who's really close to you and it might not be. It might be someone online as a friendship. It might be someone in a group coaching program that you're in. You may have to pay to get time with some of these people, and that's okay. What you're doing is you're developing that sense of team because naturally you are going to be one of these roles more easily with yourself.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:03] For me, I'm naturally more of a visionary. I love to have big ideas, but then I can get a little bit tripped up because I'm not necessarily a strong cheerleader for myself. I tend to be kind of a little bit of a Debbie Downer when it comes to my own ideas. I can go from visionary to absolutely quashing that idea very quickly. So it's important for me that I have someone who can hold that role of cheerleader in my life, who can keep me going when those times are hard and they recognize kind of when they need to step in. I always have someone in my life who is holding that expert mentor or coach role, and sometimes I will have 3 or 4 of them in different areas of my life. So right now I have an expert and a mentor in my business portion. I actually have three of them in my business portion for different areas. So I have someone in the area who's doing more of like an online presence, developing digital programs, that piece. I have someone who is helping me with my copywriting and my brand voice and building that part. And then I have someone who is more of that strategic logic person who's developing my business plan and my long term vision. So I actually have three people on my advisory board currently who are holding that role just in my business. And then I also have someone who's helping me with some of my health issues and building more movement that aligns with kind of what my body needs right now, what I need to move into this next stage, you know, in my late 40s so that I'm aging well. I have someone who's the cheerleader in all of those different roles.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:52] As you move into this? I guarantee doing life by yourself, it's not the way anymore. It's not about getting into our own heads and kind of just absorbing ourselves into our own minds. When you develop a strong advisory board with people who are wanting to move their life forward too, know that you also hold this role in other people's lives, you hold that role for other people's advisory board. In my daughter's life, I am absolutely her cheerleader. That is my favorite role to hold with her because I just can continue to love on her, let her know that I believe in her and just keep pushing how amazing I think she is. I believe I do that really well. In the business world with clients with close friends who are also business owners, I can hold that visionary role with them and get really excited and light them up. And then I can also sometimes flip into that strategy logic, let's put things in order, where do we go from here? In certain industries I can absolutely hold that expert mentor coach position, especially when it comes to business. But I would never hold the expert mentor or coach role maybe when it comes to fitness or when it comes to a completely different area that I'm not comfortable with it. So do you see how we can absorb this? We can hold different roles for different people, but as you start to build your own advisory board, this moves your life forward exponentially. The reason that corporations and big companies have advisory boards is because it shines a light on the blind spots in the business that they may have not even considered. If they have a really close group that is working in the business and they all kind of have similar strengths and patterns to how they work, they might bring someone into their advisory board who's more of a creative mind or who thinks very differently than they do because it allows them to see things that they could not see from within. It allows that kind of bird's eye view, being able to see the whole picture that is priceless. The value that they get in that role is huge. There are several people in it. So I'm so curious. Please reach out. Go and comment on posts that you see on my social media. Send me an email. I want to hear the people that are lighting up your advisory board or if you're struggling and you feel like you really have a gap in your advisory board and you're looking for that support and kind of building that next phase of your life, let's chat. Let's see if we can start to create more community around these next steps. I am your host, Kari Lotzien, with Be the Anchor, business and leadership coach. Thanks for being here. We'll chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: [00:22:02] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I’m on a little bit of a soapbox this episode because something has been irritating me. Do you get those emails promising huge results in very short amounts of time? Incredible gains for hardly any time investment? That’s what is on my mind so in this episode, I’m going to talk about why that’s not the way success works.

High-intensity performance to get a peak result is something we know how to do, certainly, but it’s not the way to do long-term change. Athletes who do a high-intensity burn to achieve a competition goal have already put in months and years of slow and steady practice to get to that point. And that’s how progress is really made.

I’m going to explain why we should focus on process goals over outcome goals. First I’m going to explain what that means so that you can really understand why slow and steady change is what wins. What do we have control over? What can we change in increments that will stay with us for long-term gain?

4:31 Downsides of focusing on challenge culture intensity

7:02 How to achieve stackable habits

8:10 What are process goals?

• Life is a journey, not a destination
• Focusing on the process makes the rewards more fulfilling
• If you are selling quick transformation goals, check your integrity

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Anchored Leadership group coaching

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor: 

• Website: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Facebook: BeTheAnchorLtd
• Instagram: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Linkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd

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Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us, to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello my friends. Thank you so much for being here. I'm Kari Lotzien, your business and leadership coach with Be the Anchor. Today I'm getting on a little bit of a soapbox because I'm feeling a little irritated, to be honest. And it's something that's been on my mind for a really long time, that idea of challenge culture. And it is really picking my butt because what I'm finding is that my newsfeed, my email, my sales calls that I'm getting are filled with promises of short term huge results in a very short amount of time. Whether that is, you can earn six figures a month or you can make seven figures in business in your first year. You can lose 15 pounds in 14 days before you have to go to your high school reunion. Or you can change your relationship in a weekend retreat with your spouse.

Kari Lotzien: [00:02:12] Here's the thing. When we have long term goals that we want to move towards that are going to change our lives, it doesn't happen through short term intense practices. It doesn't ever. Ever. We can do intensity. Our nervous systems know how to do intense. We can lift really heavy weights a few times, maybe even once. If you are someone who is experienced in the world of high performance sport, often times you will focus in your attention on perfect form. You have the ideal mindset. You've prepped your joints and your muscles so that you can do the heaviest lift you've ever done, and you do it once. You can knock out of the park that huge project at work that requires intense focus. But you can't do that for years and years. You do it for a short amount of time where you control all the other variables, you take the distraction out, you optimize the environment so that you can focus in on doing your best performance, but it's for a short period of time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:30] When we keep doing this, when we keep coming back to intensity and we try to sustain it long term, it never works. This is the path to burnout where we do something really intently and then we fall off and we go into burnout phase and we completely shut down because our nervous system needs to recover. That's the way this happens. If you want to do that heavy lift, the way that you do it is by allowing your body a space of pure rest, of stopping before you go back to it. You don't do ten lifts and then just slowly build up and have no space in between. The way that you accomplish that big, heavy goal is you rest before and after. That's what your nervous system needs to do to recover. That's what it needs to do to look after itself. It is the exact same when it comes to mental focus. You can zone in. You can get really intently focused on a project and really focus your attention in, but you can't do it long term.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:31] You'll get to a point where all of a sudden the ideas are gone, you have nothing left, and you need to walk away from it and have sleep or rest to recover and recuperate to come back to it. This is what challenge culture is doing to us. Is it's pushing us to this idea of gaining something short term, building this up over a very short period of time, and then when we fall off, we think that we failed. And then we don't get back on the proverbial horse to come back to our goals. The way to create long term change is to focus on consistency over intensity. I don't care what you can do for 30 days. I care what can you do for two years? What habits can you develop that feel doable in your life, that can contribute to making your relationship just a little bit better? And let me tell you, these things are usually not Facebook worthy. We don't create big, exciting programs that have transformational results in a very short period of time because that doesn't sell. Taking 15 minutes where you put your phones away and you have a conversation when your partner comes home or you have dinner together and you talk about your days, you talk about your challenges, you talk about the most exciting thing that happened or something funny. That creates long term change. When you develop consistent habits of following through on leads or when you consistently show up to network in your business and you consistently focus on developing, what's one little thing that we could be doing a little bit better or a little bit more efficiently in our business? Is that going to create five figure changes in a month or a day? No. It might create 2% change this week and maybe 1% change next week. And those things build over time. You do get the results. But it doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen as quickly. But what happens is you're not building your success in that intense focus where you're hitting that peak of performance and then needing that recovery phase. What happens is you're building in slow, steady increments where you might have points where you're really sprinting or you're really focusing in, but you're guiding that those are short term, you know that there's a short term. And then you're building that consistent habit over time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:02] Things like I'm going to focus on my hydration. I'm going to lean in and I'm going to have a water bottle beside my computer so that I stay more focused, so that by 3:00 in the afternoon, I don't have that headache that I've had from drinking too much coffee and sitting in one place for so long. That habit over time, which is easy to maintain, now you might notice, Well, actually, now I'm eating better at night because I'm not grabbing that quick snack at 4:00 or another cup of coffee or an energy drink to try and get through the last part of my day. Maybe I've got some space where when my kids get home from school or when my partner gets home, we can go for a walk and I have some capacity left. So that one habit of being hydrated is now starting to contribute to better mental health. My focus is better. I don't have that headache. Now I can build relationships. This is how one thing connects over the other. We create those stackable habits.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:10] The other big thing that I'm seeing is we focus so much on outcome goals and not enough on process goals. Now, what the heck does that mean? An outcome goal is when we focus on what result, and it's usually a single point. So I am looking to make a certain amount of money in my business. I'm looking to have a certain goal weight. What happens when we do this? When we focus on I want to earn $100,000 this month in my business? There are so many variables that are outside of our control that it can give us the image that we don't have control over where we're headed or even worse, we can be doing all of the right things that are getting us closer, but we don't see the connection inherently. So if we're doing the work and we're not seeing the result that we think is related, we might very well give up on the goal, leave it behind, and not focus on continuing on.

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:15] If we focus on process goals, which means focusing on how you think you're going to achieve that destination point. When I think about this in terms of my Be the Anchor philosophy, I don't just focus on where I want to go. I don't say, Oh, this is where I'm trying to take my ship. What I focus on is I'm going to notice what are the waves like? I'm going to notice on where am I getting some support? What makes this feel easier as I'm getting towards my destination? How many paddles am I going to take? What this looks like in health is you might be focusing on I think that I need to lose 15 pounds. Okay. Well, there's a lot of different ways and a lot of different variables that can connect to you getting there. But when you focus on the process, I'm going to go for a walk four days a week. What makes that easier? Well, I'm going to put my runners in the car so that I don't go home and end up on the couch scrolling through social media instead of taking that 15 minute walk. I'm going to do it before I even get home. Or I'm going to make an appointment with a friend that I really want to connect with, and I'm going to phone them on my walk and we're going to have a conversation while we're going for a walk together.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:35] When you say, I'm going to do this and you set that plan that you know and you have control, you can easily measure. Did I go for a walk three days this week? Yes, I did. Was there anything that got in my way? Was there anything that made that harder or easier? And then I adjust that so that I can keep focused on how can I develop that consistent habit. If I'm wanting to earn more money in my business, I might focus on how many sales calls I'm going to make that week. And when I look at the end of the week and I say, okay, my goal was to make 25 sales calls this week. Did I do that? Yes or no? If I didn't do that, what impacted my ability to do that? Well, you know what, other things came into my day. My schedule got off. So what I might adjust is to be able to meet that goal, I'm going to schedule that time in first thing in the morning before my schedule goes off track, or I'm going to do those calls before I check my email in the morning. You hold yourself accountable to developing the habit and you track your progress and your success based on are you following that process goal? Did you make those calls during the week? Did you go for that walk? Did you sit down with your spouse without any phones or distractions so that you can have a conversation? What happens is when we develop those habits over time, it does lead to those bigger goals.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:07] The other thing that this can protect us from is sometimes when we focus so much on the goal or the outcome and everything works out beautifully and we actually get there. Let's say we actually do earn that money. Let's say we actually do get that beautiful holiday that we've always dreamed about. Let's say that we do lose those 15 pounds. What we often see with high performers especially, is that they meet the goal, they hit the target, they get the thing, and it doesn't feel the way they thought it would feel. It doesn't feel like enough. Or they now don't know what's next. Or even worse, they got to the goal, then went, I don't think this is what I really wanted. This doesn't have the feeling or the outcome that I thought it would feel like or that it would be. I don't have the things I thought I would have when I got to this step. We hear about the private jet syndrome, people get to a level of success where they think, Ooh, a private jet is the ultimate sign of I've made it. And it still doesn't feel like enough. When we focus on the process to get there, when we focus on life is a journey, not a destination, and you focus on what are the habits and the skills and the way you want to feel while you're in the process of achieving your goals, so your focus on what does this feel like right now? This is the secret to changing your life. It's short, small, incremental steps in the direction of your goal while measuring the day to day boring, mundane things that we need to do to get closer to the person that we want to be. And then we evaluate. Does this feel the way that I thought it would feel? Am I getting closer? And then those big checkpoints of did I reach that health goal? Did I reach that financial goal? Did I get that relationship thing that I really wanted? They become stops along the way. They don't become the end point that then we wonder, okay, what's next?

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:16] So the two things I want to leave you with. One, you're doing just fine. Stop comparing yourself to all of those pictures online of those ultra successful people that look like they've got it all together that are getting huge results in short amounts of time. The only reason that you're seeing that is because it feels like it is Facebook or Instagram or social media worthy. Because it feels exciting. But it is not sustainable. Keep doing the boring, step by step, mundane work. If you can do something consistently, if you can keep showing up for yourself over the long term, if you can do something for a year, that's what I want to know. Does this feel doable over the long term? If it does, you are on the right track and those habits stack upon each other to create the life that you want and not just a series of empty goals.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:16] And second, if you are in business and you are selling transformation in 14 days or you are selling quick results and your gut knows that this is not long term achievable, that this is not sustainable, and that you are seeing clients burn out or even worse, they are developing a reliance on you because they have to keep going through these intense challenge-based programs, thinking that inevitably they eventually will get to the goal that they need, I want you to check your integrity. Because these are not the businesses that we need. They're not the businesses that I want to support because I feel like they are contributing to the destruction of our mental health. They really are. And we need to start calling that out.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:09] So it feels yucky. I did give you a warning. I'm on a bit of a soapbox today, but it's speaking to me. I will never sell transformation in short periods. I will never sell something that I think is going to change your life in a very short time. Because what I want to give is small things that you can do for the rest of your life that feel doable and that contribute to the life you want. Thanks for being here. I appreciate your time. Love you all. Thanks for joining. We'll chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:40] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call, and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Do you believe that in order to succeed you have to do everything in your business? Are you, as a solopreneur, afraid to ask for help? Here’s a secret: I believed and felt those same things. But there is a better way. In this episode, I’m sharing five tips I wish I knew when I started my own business. Tips that address the things we all believe and don’t need to.

There’s a better way to get our business to where we want it. I know, it’s hard to let go and not be the “Chief of Everything” or to keep our business simple. But these five things I share with you will make your business life so much easier. 

You can start things simply and not have to offer 100 services, you can have the help you need so you can focus on what you do really well. It’s true! So let’s explore the things we believe about business that aren’t helping us and start putting five things that work into play.

1:35 Things I believed that didn’t work

4:30 Five things I now know that I wish I’d known earlier

18:37 Reviewing what works:

• Don’t do everything yourself
• Find people who went before you
• Understanding that you can share with others in your field
• Keep things simple
• Get clear on what you really want

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Anchored Leadership group coaching

Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

• Website: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Facebook: BeTheAnchorLtd
• Instagram: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Linkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd

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Transcript:

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello and welcome to Be the Anchor the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach, Kari Lotzien. I'm so glad you're here. Starting and running a new business is not for the faint of heart. We all know this as we take our idea, our vision, our dream, and turn it to something tangible in a business.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:35] I have been thinking a lot about after 22 years in business, starting as a solopreneur with not a clue about business, I was not raised in a home of entrepreneurs. I was raised with that idea that you go to university, you find your career, you work there for 40 years or longer. Find benefits. Find a pension. Retire. Live happily ever after. It wasn't until just a few months into my career when I thought, I don't think I can do it like this. I think there's a better way. And my drive, and I hear this in a lot of entrepreneurs, my drive to start a business had nothing to do with wanting to be a business owner. Maybe that's your case too. My passion came from I just saw that there could be a better way. I thought I can serve more people. I can, I believe, deliver a better service without having the constraints of a corporation or a government that is saying, this is your budget, this is what the qualifications are, and you shall not have this service unless. Now my business was in service. I ran a private rehabilitation company in Canada where let me tell you, there were no really solid private therapy clinics in rural Alberta where I lived. It was unheard of. But there was this passion in me that went, You know what? I really think this can work.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:12] And when I looked at what I would now call market research, clients were asking for it. I knew there was a demand. I thought maybe people would pay for it. I wasn't so sure and I had no experience. But I pushed through and 22 years later that business was something I was so proud of. We had developed an incredible team and I was eventually able to sell and then now continue on this journey of inspiring other entrepreneurs to bring their dreams to reality. But maybe not doing it in that hard challenge way of figuring it all out yourself like I did. I didn't go with my MBA, I didn't have a business background. I had a passion and I thought, if I build it, maybe someone will come and I don't want you to go through that same thing. So my podcast today is going to be about five things that I wish someone would have told me or that I would have known in those early years in business that I think really would have made a significant change in how I felt, how successful my company was, the speed of growth that I had and the foundation that I was building.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:30] So, number one, I had a vision that to be successful in business, I should start by doing everything myself. And this started with providing the service which I was comfortable with. I knew that part, but I also took on doing all the books myself, thinking, Well, it can't be that hard, I'll use a software program. I'll go through it all. I'll do all my own invoicing. I had a brick and mortar location at that time. I was doing all of the cleaning. I was doing the reception, I was answering all of the emails, all of our client intakes. I was literally the chief of everything, as my business coach would later say, that you are not the CEO of this company. You are the COE, you're the chief of everything and you're trying to do it all and you're not doing it well. I thought that my time was free, that if I wasn't paying someone else to do the work for me, including cleaning, bookkeeping, all of these other things, that I was saving money. When the reality was, if I looked at it in terms not of money, but of energy and time, I was costing my company huge money because my zone of genius, where I was really good, was in frontline service. I was good at earning revenue for the company and for every hour that I was spending not earning revenue or not moving towards that goal, I was taking away from the overall profit and revenue of my company. So the first thing that you can do in this place is get really real about what is your rate when you're doing your service.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:18] So if you are in a service based industry, if you're a hairdresser, if you're a mechanic, if you are a lawyer. Whatever you're doing, real estate, any service-based profession, if you look at what your hourly rate is when you are providing that service compared to would you pay someone to do that? You will often find yourself if you are earning 80, 100, $200 an hour in providing your service, you know that you can hire someone to do your cleaning, to do your books for much, much less than that. And here's the other big ticket is when you look at time, that person is likely way more efficient in doing that same task than you are. They're likely more competent. They're doing a better job. It's more accurate. They're more efficient. It is a waste of money to keep doing it yourself. But I think we lie to ourselves. We think that just because we can, because we've likely had some grit and some resilience, we know how to learn, we're intelligent people. We convince ourselves that it's not that hard, that we can do it ourselves and we lie to ourselves thinking that we are saving money. And this, my friend, is not true.

Kari Lotzien: [00:07:39] The second thing is I felt like I had to know everything about business and I was looking in the wrong places. So instead of going to find someone who had done this journey before me, going to ask other business owners some questions about payroll and GST and how to pay taxes and doing all of these other things, I went to Google. Sometimes I called the revenue agency, which I now found out was maybe not my best, most appropriate way to go. I felt like I couldn't ask other people because I felt intimidated. I felt like I wasn't a real business owner because I didn't have that MBA. I didn't have a business background. So I felt almost embarrassed or ashamed to ask people who had more experience than I did. Looking back, I now know that when I started asking other people, oh my gosh, the learning was so much quicker because people could say there's all of these other pieces or parts to this, but here's the piece that you really need to know. If you haven't heard of Pareto's principle, it's the 80-20 rule. What mentors and other people who have gone through that path before you will tell you is these are the most important things you need to know. They'll tell you what is the 20% of business that you need to focus your attention on to get 80% of your success. You don't have to know it all. Focus your energy in on those key pieces and learn from the people who went before you, throw your guilt and your embarrassment out the door, don't be too proud to ask. It is such a waste of time to protect your ego, to not ask the questions, to go find all the other information online in places that, you know, you just go down the rabbit hole and you find all kinds of information that doesn't apply to what you're actually looking for. Go to the source. Go to the people who have done it before you, get the information you need. Now, this is where a coach or a mentor can be so valuable. Yes, it might cost you some money, but in a lot of situations there are people who are experienced in your industry that will help you for nothing. Respect their time. Don't overextend. If you have key questions, book an hour of their time. Pay for their lunch. Book them in. Go through your questions. Show gratitude for what they give back to you because it is invaluable. But it can often be really inexpensive and often people are willing to help you out.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:23] Number three. I was raised in a time, and you might have been too, of thinking there wasn't enough to go around. When I would put my idea out there, I would be told, Well, don't share this idea because someone else might take it and then they'll compete with you. I now know that my perceived competition are often my greatest networking partners. They can be great referral partners, especially in the coaching industry, in the therapy industry, whatever industry that you are in, it's wide. If you're a mechanic, you might work on a certain type of vehicle and your partner, your referral partner down the road, does a really great job with maybe foreign vehicles. If you are a therapist, you might really specialize in a certain type of treatment for a certain type of industry, and then you have a partner up the road or in your neighboring community that does a really exceptional job in a different area of practice. I can tell you your credibility grows immensely when you don't try to do it all. When you develop those referral partnerships, even within your own industry and you start to pass referrals back and forth, clients, customers feel like you have their best interest at heart, that you're not providing maybe a substandard service just to get their money. That you really are invested in what's best for them, what they really need, and when you pass that referral to that referral partner, they will inevitably, because of the human condition, we feel that when someone gives to us, we naturally want to give back. There is more than enough to go around. We are not in a lack culture anymore. We really, really aren't. No matter what that little voice in your head tells you, no matter what maybe your parent or your past boss or anything talks about, there is more than enough to go around. And when you can lean into that and when you can lean into the faith and the trust, really develop those partnerships, it will serve you so well and it will help you to really get clear on who your ideal client is, what you do really, really well. And the great thing is when you're not trying to do it all, when you're not trying to serve everyone, you can fall into your own zone of genius. It starts to feel fun. It's comfortable. It's easy. This is how you achieve true abundance. And so we want to keep building that idea of sharing our ideas, sharing our questions, developing our network, and growing that so that we can get the clients and the customers that we really want and that serve us well.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:13] The other big piece, I believed that business was complicated. And let me tell you at the beginning, it feels that way when you're thinking about taxes and onboarding and revenue streams and profit and loss statements and bookkeeping, keeping receipts, what's a write off and what's not, building your team of lawyers and accountants. It can feel really complicated. What I have now learned is that simple businesses are often the most successful. They're easy to understand. It's easy to explain to other people what you do and how you do it. When you onboard new team members, the expectation of how they earn money, how they're successful, what they need to do is clear. Don't overcomplicate your business. When you go to explain it, see, can you make it simpler and simpler and simpler and simpler? The more simple, the more straightforward, I do this, this is the return or the price that I charge. This is the investment. This is how I serve. The simpler you can be, sometimes the more successful you can be. You don't have to start complex. You don't have to start with ten different offerings or 25 different products or 100 different products. Start small. The idea is that you just start. Develop that foundation. See what you enjoy, see what you feel good at. See what comes easily. See what people respond to. Oftentimes we try to overdeliver, we try to anticipate what might people want before we even launch. And then oftentimes we end up throwing out half of those ideas, half of those products, half of those services, because either we didn't enjoy doing it, it wasn't really needed in the marketplace, and we move on. So the idea, don't overcomplicate it, start small, start with something, you know, something that you feel is needed or wanted that people are asking you for and just start. Keep it simple.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:25] Number five, get clear on what you really want. This is one of the biggest mistakes that I see early in entrepreneurship is we try to do it all. We have a natural fear that when we take that leap of faith to start a business, that we are going to starve. So we say yes to anything that comes our way, even if that means stretching beyond our own capacity. We often hear about boundaries. We hear about it everywhere. That we need to set boundaries, that we need to be clear on our boundaries, that we need to acknowledge our boundaries. Start small. Start simple. This can be as easy as saying I don't work Sundays. This could be as simple as saying I don't serve this type of client. That I won't work before 9 a.m. on Monday to Friday. If your business doesn't align with your life, if you don't get clear on why you're doing this business and how it is going to make your life better, we give the reins to our business. And it sounds crazy because I think when we first start up, we feel like we are one and the same with our business. You have to have a separate entity. Your business is a way to serve your life. Get clear on that from the very beginning. It is separate from you. Therefore, it does not get to overtake your life and start to control because it will become a monster in a very short order. Next thing you know, you're all over the place. You're extending your days, you're working from home at 11:00 on a Tuesday night, you've been returning emails while your kids are playing hockey, you missed their goal, whatever it is. You want to get clear on that and you can again set it small. They don't have to be hard and fast rules. But get clear on what you really want. Get clear on the money you want to make. Get clear on the hours that you're going to work. If you just get clear on those two things, set some general boundaries, share those with the people who love you and are closest to you so that when you start to push up against that, when the fear kicks in and next thing you know, it's 10:00 on a Wednesday and you're sitting in front of your computer again doing your books or doing things that you should not be doing, the people who love you can lean in and say, Hey, remember, you set that goal, you set that boundary that you weren't going to do this. And our likelihood, I mean, let's be honest, we'll probably get a little defensive, we'll probably get a little angry, we'll probably try to defend why we're doing what we're doing, and this is what must happen. But you need to have someone who can hold you accountable to step away, to not let that fear in that business take over and to keep revisiting is this contributing to the life that I want to live? And you might have to keep coming back to that over and over again over the years. But if you can do it at the beginning, let me tell you, it becomes so much easier as you move forward and you have those years of experience behind you.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:37] So those, my friends, are the top five things that I wish that I would have known earlier on. Number one, you do not have to be the chief of everything. Do not do everything yourself. Number two, feeling that you need to know everything before you push forward, go find those people who went ahead of you. Learn that 20% that is going to contribute to 80% of your success so you can focus your energy on getting started and not getting stuck in that overwhelm of not knowing enough. Number three, feeling that there was not enough to go around and that everyone was my competitor and I felt the need to hold things really tight. You might feel that too, that that lack mindset is getting in your way of being able to really establish those good referral partnerships and being able to pass business from one company to another. This is key in building that going forward. Number four, don't make it complicated. Keep it really simple. Fewer products, Fewer services. Stay in something you feel really comfortable in and start from there in building your foundation. We don't want to spend all of our energy trying to imagine what people might want and then having to throw half of it out in very short order. Keep it simple. And number five, get clear on what you really want and why. You want a business that is going to contribute to your life, not to feel like it's completely taking it over. If you can have some people that you love and that can help hold you accountable in those moments as you develop this business, as you really get into the grit and the the work that it takes to really make this go, share that. Make sure that you're visiting, Are you staying aligned and in your integrity with the life that you want to create rather than letting the business take over?

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:33] Five tips and tricks. I hope these are helpful. If you're finding key things in this podcast that you are finding helpful, I would so appreciate if you would subscribe, if you would rate the podcast. This is how we get the message out to more people who are going through this resilient activity of life in developing businesses and trying to make our communities a better place. I want to share the message. I would sincerely appreciate if you share a screenshot on your social media. If you send a link to a friend, this is how our community grows. Thank you so much for being here. We'll chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: [00:21:13] Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call, and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Did you know there is something called “delegation talent?” Even more interesting is that most entrepreneurs don’t have this talent. I was surprised too. In this episode, I am talking about why it is so hard to ask for help and why business owners might be exceptionally bad at it.

Luckily, this is not just a talent but a skill we can learn and develop. Even if you’re an entrepreneur who has embraced delegation a bit late in your business, embracing this skill will increase your efficiency and success. So let’s dive into why it’s tough and I will share a few tips you can use to find and retain great people that will help grow your business.

If you have ever said things like “I don’t have time to train someone new” or “It’s just easier to do the work myself, good people are hard to find”, this episode is for you.

1:32 Delegation Talent 

3:21 The 3 reasons it is so hard to delegate

8:03 3 common mistakes small business owners make when delegating

• Waiting too long to delegate
• Assuming too much with a lack of clear communication
• All or none thinking

Resources discussed in this episode:

• Anchored Leadership group coaching
• https://news.gallup.com/businessjournal/182414/delegating-huge-management-challenge-entrepreneurs.aspx

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Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

• Website: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Facebook: BeTheAnchorLtd
• Instagram: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Linkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd 

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Transcript

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life gets stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy, and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:11] Hello my friends. Welcome to Be The Anchor the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien, and I'm so glad you're here. I have a confession to make, and I don't think I'm alone. I am terrible at asking for help. It's been a long term thing. I think it's both contributed to my success and a lot of times gotten in the way.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:32] Well, I read a study from the Gallup poll in 2014 that says I am not alone. And if you have trouble asking for help, you probably aren't alone either. What they found is that only 1 in 4 entrepreneurs, so owners who had more than four employees, only 1 in 4 had what they called a natural delegator talent. Why is this important? Because so many of the other pieces of that study related to businesses who had leaders that were good at delegating grew faster and earned on average 33% more revenue than those who didn't. This is something worth paying attention to. Got me thinking about the skill of delegation. And so often as entrepreneurs who are beyond that initial start up phase, we hear that idea of you need to stop working in your business and you need to start working on your business. Now, for many of us who, in start up phase, this is what made you successful, being fiercely independent, learning things that you did not know before so that you could get through that initial grind of what a startup means. We get a pride with that. And often the first measure of success in business is the fact that you survived the start up phase. As you know, many businesses don't survive that first part. 46% of businesses don't survive the first five years in business. If you want to make more money and have longevity in your business, delegation is a skill set that you need.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:21] And it doesn't come naturally. I first want to just address how did we even get there? Why is this task of delegating so hard? I think, number one, the fact that many of us who have achieved a certain level of success are intelligent. We know how to find information. We know how to learn things. So we can do a lot of the different roles in our business. For me, that included everything from cleaning the floors to doing the reception, answering phones, doing my own books. I learned many things in the business and I see so many entrepreneurs at that start up phase. They're doing it all. But then sometimes we go beyond the time where it's still comfortable and we keep doing it all as we grow and we just start to feel more and more constraints on our time and then our services start to decline or fall.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:46] The second is humility. I still hear so many entrepreneurs, and especially those of us who have come from service-based businesses where we've kind of worked our way up. You know, we've got the story to tell. We walked uphill both ways. You know, we had bosses that, you know, screamed and hollered at us, and we feel like we've kind of worked our way through the trenches. And there's that almost pride or martyrdom that comes with, I've been there. I know where you are, and I am not too proud to stop doing the hard work in the business, to stop doing that front line piece, to, you know, do the do the gritty stuff. And we have this voice in our head that says, I would never ask anyone else to do something that I'm not willing to do myself. Well, I can tell you there is a difference between being willing to do it when it is truly necessary and continuing to do it and masking that as humility. It comes off as almost martyrdom. And I think the way that we know the difference is sometimes you're doing the things that you know you shouldn't be doing, and that seed of resentment is building.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:11] You start to get angry that you're holding some of those roles in the business when you know you should be doing other things that you can't delegate that no one else can do for you. And it's not up to your employees or the people that you've hired to know what you should be doing. You know, they're not going to come to you and say, oh, you know, you really shouldn't be answering the phones. You really shouldn't be doing all these books. Let me do that for you so that you can work on our next quarterly objectives, or you can really go and plan that meeting and go after that networking thing that you've been trying to do for so long to land us that new contract. No one is going to give you permission, my friend. The third is fear. Fear of trusting other people. And this is a sticky one because I think so often we have this sense of control and when we have a certain standard, and even if we're not doing a great job, often we tend to be able to do most tasks well enough to get by. And we have a real fear that if we let go of that control, that our quality, our service, our efficiency is not going to be the same. So we have this hesitancy in even looking, considering delegating. So number one is just understanding the reason why this difficulty with lack of delegation exists in many of us and recognizing that what got you here to this point, to getting past that start up grind is not going to take you to the next level. It has served you well and it is time to move on from that.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:03] Top three mistakes that I see entrepreneurs making as they try to start to delegate in the business. Number one, they wait too long. Myself included. What happens when we wait too long is we are burning the candle at both ends. Getting up earlier, staying later. We're eating lunch at our desk or not at all. We are returning emails when we're trying to watch our kid's soccer game. We're doing so much multitasking that our business is encroaching on so many different aspects of our lives that there is almost no space to delegate well. And when we have waited too long, now the little voice in your head will say things to you like, It's easier to just keep doing it myself because I don't have time to train someone. I don't have time to get things going because this project, this assignment, these things needed to be done yesterday. It's a very tricky situation. And we're going to talk a little bit about how to do that. Number two difficulty that I see when it comes to delegating as we start to be able to consider that is assuming too much.: 

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:26] If we've waited too long, we tend to move towards outsourcing instead of hiring, or we try to hire someone who has experience. And we assume that when they have experience that they know or can find everything they need to be successful at that job. We assume that they know exactly what we want, how we want it, how efficiently we want it. And inevitably it leads to disappointment, resentment or the task not going well at all. And that relationship is strained almost before it even starts. The problem is not the other person. With love and compassion my friends, like, please know, I get it. What I hear my clients often say is it's so hard to find good people. Well, here's the thing. Yes, there is a challenge right now in finding good people, but we make it so much worse when we wait too long and we don't set that person up for success and we assume too many things so that that relationship does not get off to a strong start. Number three, we have an all or none mentality. When things start to go sideways or when there's tension or something doesn't go completely according to plan, we jump ship. We tell that person it's not working, we move on and we go back to doing it all ourselves. We don't have time to navigate the subtle changes in what we truly want, how we want things to be better as that relationship goes forward.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:05] And again, I can tell you right now, most of the time, this is not about the other person. This is not about the person that you hired not being qualified, not having a good work ethic, not understanding what you need. It really is about taking time to develop a good delegation relationship and then giving an investment to that over time so that it doesn't go so far off track. So just noticing, are you making some of those mistakes in your business as you start to think about delegating? Have you waited too long? Do you have capacity to really invest in that training? Are you assuming that people have all the skills that they need, that they can just come in and without training deliver this quality of service that you're looking for? And is there this voice in your mind that if it doesn't go well, you're just willing to let that entire relationship go and go back to doing it all yourself? Those are three very dangerous things when it comes to moving to this next level of delegation.

Kari Lotzien: [00:12:08] All right. So we've talked about why it's hard. Why it's hard to even get to the idea of delegating. We've talked about common mistakes that business owners make as they start to move towards delegation. And now I want to finish by talking about how can we set ourselves up for success when we start to move towards delegation, when we bring on those new people that we're really investing in that relationship so that it really contributes to the success of our business and gives us our own time and energy back, because I think that's what we really want. First, take time to really lean in to what your expectations are. Get super clear. Now, this isn't about being a micromanager. It's not about being too type A or being too detail focused. It's not like that. It's about helping to set the other person up for success. So when you turn over a project, when you turn over a big task, get really clear. How are you measuring success? What are those key steps or really important processes that are important to you in how that task is carried out? Communicate around all of the expectations in that task and then talk openly about timelines, what's reasonable, what feels like an adequate amount of time that you're going to allow for this project to come to completion so that you know that it's done in its entirety. Talk about it. Discuss it at the very beginning.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:44] And then the next step in making this more successful is to schedule regular check ins. Investment in time in the process of delegation is one of the biggest pieces. Don't wait until we're at outcome stage or till a project is finished, until we check in on it. To ensure that things are going well we want to have those touch points along the way just checking in. How are things going? Are there any questions so that we don't get so far off track before we can correct course. This protects us from that all or none mentality where we're too far in and we feel like, well, I guess I just need to accept the way that it is or I need to go back to doing it all myself. When you have those checkpoints, it allows you to make those subtle corrections along the way. And this is going to be the time where you might see your own blind spots. Where you can identify, Oh, I should have communicated that that part was important or I should have communicated that this is where we need to go next, or this is a key process that has to happen in the bigger picture. What this does is it starts to just turn the way you think. You're teaching that other person how you make decisions, how you move through a process so that they're taking on more and more of that independence over time.

Kari Lotzien: [00:16:52] And the biggest piece that I see in the success of delegating well is that the delegator assumes most of the responsibility in the process, especially at the beginning. Don't be too proud to just reflect and correct course. You know what? That's on me. We should have scheduled a check in meeting a little bit earlier. Or, you know, I forgot to tell you about that key part. You know, sometimes when you've been doing a task for so long, you forget about all of those little pieces. And now that we're this far in, you know, I recognize that there's a few tweaks that we need to make. When you assume responsibility, your partner, your delegation partner will feel that this is a collaborative effort, that you're not blaming them for not being able to read your mind or do things the way you wanted and you're not feeling that sense of, Oh, well, I now need to take this all back. But we're building that collaboration as we build the delegation relationship. These are so critically important to moving forward in having this to go well, and I want it to go well for you. I want you to move to that next level in your business. I want you to earn better revenue. I want you to feel like you have people on your team who feel valued. This is what it's all about, my friends.

Kari Lotzien: [00:20:28] I am so glad that you're here. That episode was loaded with content, and I don't want you to feel this sense of pressure. I want you to feel hope. I want you to feel like you have a bit of a roadmap on where to start, how to move forward. Thanks so much for being here. I'm Kari Lotzien with Be the Anchor. Don't forget, like, subscribe to the podcast so that you don't miss an episode. I'm so glad you're here. Chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: Hey, my friends, are you a business owner that has survived that startup phase of business? You know how to hustle. You know how to work hard. You've got paying customers and from the outside looking in, you feel you've achieved a certain level of success in your business. You really care about the service and the quality that you provide to your clients or customers, but deep down you know that to go to that next level, you can't keep going at this pace. You're busy and you want to still have a life outside of your business. I am launching the Anchored Leadership group coaching program. Doors open October of 2023. This program is designed for business owners like you who need to develop their teams, who want to make more money and establish their business without just squeezing more into their day and stretching their limits even further. We are going to talk about everything from strategy to really digging into the nitty gritty. It's a combination of training, workbooks, and live coaching. If you want to learn more, click on the link in the show notes, we'll book a discovery call, and you can find out if this is a great fit for you. Thanks so much. We'll chat soon.

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Does the “why” of your business still suit you? We’ve all founded our businesses on a specific passion that drives us. Sometimes, though, that reason shifts as our business grows and we change. In this episode I explore how to reassess our “why” and the reasons it’s such a useful practice.

I’m Kari Lotzien, business and leadership coach, and Be the Anchor is the podcast where I discuss everything from big ideas to mindset, and sometimes just how to get through the day. Sometimes we find ourselves, years into our business, not remembering the passion we started with. This episode is me giving you permission to revisit your “why”. You can reignite your passion!

If you have ever recognized a little voice inside you saying “This isn’t what I want anymore” maybe it’s time to listen to it. Let’s talk about why it’s important and how to make a positive change.

2:42 Revisiting our personal why

3:46 Taking time to figure out what we’re supposed to do

8:38 What the big shifts in our careers tell us

• Do we want more time for our personal lives?
• Are we craving flexibility and a different schedule?
• What voices we should be listening to

Resources discussed in this episode:

• “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek

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Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:

• Website: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Facebook: BeTheAnchorLtd
• Instagram: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Linkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd 

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Transcript

Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the sgeteas of life gets stormy and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. If you are a dreamer, a visionary, an entrepreneur, whether you have an idea big or small, that you think might just make the world a little bit better, kinder, gentler place, you are in the right spot, my friend. We are going to talk about everything from big ideas to mindset and strategy and sometimes just how to get through the day. I don't want you to miss an episode so be sure to follow and subscribe to the podcast so that we can stay connected and keep doing this journey of life together. Thanks so much.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:10] Hello and welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, Kari Lotzien, and I'm so glad you're here. Have you heard the concept of 'start with why'? Many of us in business have heard this concept from Simon Sinek that leaned into that idea that business life, it's more than just going through a series of motions and actions and experiences, but it's about tying it to a greater sense of purpose.

Kari Lotzien: [00:01:38] Why are we doing what we're doing? I think in service-based businesses, that concept of why does your business exist? How are you making the world a little bit better place? These are the business owners that I love working with because there's kind of a greater sense of just how are we giving back, how are we creating stronger communities? How are we giving back to that next generation? How are we improving? That's so much more than just putting money in our pockets or giving our employees a way to pay their mortgages. It's bigger than that. When I think of that idea of visiting your why, I think there's two sides to this. One, that every so often we need to come back in business and ask ourselves, Is the reason that our business exists still aligned with what our clients are asking for, what our customers want, what people really need right now. The side that I want to talk about a little bit more in-depth today is that idea of revisiting our personal why. I think for many of us, there's a perception that when we find our why, it's like finding our passion, finding our zone of genius, that answer that says, this is why you were put on this earth. This is how you're going to give back to the world. This is the thing that you were meant to do. I think it almost feels like the sky is open, this light shines down and suddenly everything becomes clear.

Kari Lotzien: [00:03:18] And I think for a lot of us, it can fall short. That best case scenario is that we've had this experience maybe once or twice in our lives where we have a sense of giving back and that we're meant for something more, and that it comes with a sense of clarity and almost a calmness that falls over us in this knowingness, that this is what we were meant to do. But I think for many people, we don't have that. We don't have this sense of this is what I was meant to do, and it lasts for years. As I've been talking more with my own kids who are young adults, they're in their early 20s, there's still this sense out there that somehow when we graduate grade 12 or we leave university or we start that first job, that we need to decide what were we meant to be doing on this planet. How are we meant to be giving back? And that we decide that in our early 20s and then we follow that dream and that when hardship comes, when things get tough, that somehow our why is going to just guide us through all of these bumps in the road. And it's going to be that guiding light that pulls us through. I don't think this is the way it goes.

Kari Lotzien: [00:04:40] I think for myself, when I thought about my why, it feels more like that idea of your favorite pair of jeans and, you know, when you put them on and they just feel right, it feels good, they look good. You get compliments on them. Other people like them. I think your why can sometimes be just like that. And over time, as life changes, as we get older, as new things come up, sometimes those jeans just don't fit anymore. Sometimes they don't look as good. We've changed or it's just kind of gone out of style and we just don't like them anymore. I think we need to give our why a little bit less power and that when we sit down and we visit our why, we think of it like that favorite pair of jeans that it's hard to let go of. It's hard to part with those favorite parts of our lives. But we need to acknowledge, I think, when our why maybe just doesn't quite fit anymore and that we want to come back and say, Is it still working for me? I think for many of us who have leaned into entrepreneurship, who've developed a small business or who have taken one over, our first experience with finding our why is often related to moving from working for someone else as an employee or a contractor to really taking the reins and deciding we're going to do it differently. We're going to do something for ourselves. We're going to create something out of nothing. And it's often tied, I think, in a service-based industry with a sense of giving back, or we're going to make the world a little bit better place, we're going to offer something to our customers or our community that we're not seeing anywhere else.

Kari Lotzien: [00:06:34] And it comes with this sense of sometimes sacrifice or service, but it's often not enough. And I think for many of us, the next kind of big shift in our why, I know it happened for me. I developed my company. I started doing things as a solopreneur kind of just getting things started. And then I had kids and suddenly my drive to be working all hours to be giving so much to everyone else started to kind of fall a little bit short. And I felt that I wanted to be spending more time with my own kids. I wanted to be able to be there for their sports. I wanted to be able to volunteer sometimes at their school. I didn't want to be this kind of career-driven all-in woman. And I know for myself at that time when my why started to adjust, I felt like I didn't fit anywhere. I felt that when I went to work and I was around all of these people who were so career-driven and who were looking to work up the chain and wanted that sense of commitment from me, they perceived that if I wanted my business to grow and I wanted to be successful, that of course I needed to be dedicated to that and putting in all of the hours no matter what it took. I felt like I couldn't tell them, I really just want to be home. I really just want to sit with my family and have dinner. I really just want to be able to snuggle my kids before they go to bed. I sheltered it away.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:11] And then on the other side, when I would meet with moms who were staying home with their kids, who had more time, I felt like I couldn't talk to them about how I was growing this business and how I had dreams of something bigger than myself and how I wanted to move that forward. I felt like my why just didn't fit anywhere and I didn't know how to talk about that anymore.

Kari Lotzien: [00:08:38] Now as I'm coming into another big shift, I developed that business, I went all in, I grew the company, I did the thing and I was so passionate about the business and the life that I had created. But as I started to move into my later 40s, I found that my energy just wasn't what I needed it to be for the business anymore. And somehow this little voice in my head said, It's time to let go. This doesn't make sense anymore. And again, I felt that I couldn't really share that with a lot of people. I couldn't share it with my employees because would they feel like I was giving up on them, that I wasn't committed, that I wasn't connected? Would my clients and my customers that had been with me, some of them for many, many years, would they feel like I was turning my back on them?

Kari Lotzien: [00:09:27] I had a profitable business. We were making good money. My business coaches were saying, This just doesn't make sense. Why would you want to let go of something that is in such an incredible growth phase that's doing really well? You're now starting to see the payoff for all of this hard work that you've done over decades. But like that great pair of jeans, it just didn't fit anymore. It wasn't aligning with the life that I wanted. As my kids have gotten into their 20s and now I start to look forward and think about what the next 10 to 20 years of my life looks like. I wanted to have a career that allowed me more flexibility, that allowed me to travel and to really secure my own schedule and to have more freedom. It's like my why just didn't fit anymore. I couldn't keep lying to myself and giving 50, 60 hours a week to a company that didn't feel like it was serving my life anymore. Although it was fitting my financial goals, we were profitable, we were successful, there was nothing wrong, but it just didn't fit.

Kari Lotzien: [00:10:34] And today what I want to talk about is giving you permission to come back and just visit your why. Does it still fit the life that you want? And I think maybe like me, it's hard for you to find someone that you can share this with that can really listen to that little voice that's whispering, or maybe it's starting to be a little bit louder, that says, This isn't what I want anymore. What I would invite is that you just start to let that voice out of your own mind. That whether it is with a really close friend who's so good at just sitting and listening, and not giving feedback, or a partner, maybe it's a colleague or someone who's been through this before, a mentor. And if you don't have that person, if you can't think of someone that this feels like a safe place to share with, then at least write it down. At least journal, get those ideas out of your mind so that your voice has a place to say, This is what I really want. I think many of us, especially in business where other people are depending on us, our families are depending on us for that security, that financial peace, our employees are depending on us to be that leader in our business, especially if we've done it well, it can be really hard sometimes to quiet those voices and to just hear your own. You might need to spend some quality time by yourself in silence until you can truly hear your own voice.

Kari Lotzien: [00:11:53] The next thing that I think is really helpful is to then acknowledge all of the other voices that come in. When you start to write down what your dreams are, what you're really craving in your life right now. The voices are going to speak up. You're going to hear the voice of your old boss, the voice of your parents, the voice of your partner, the voice of your kids, the voice of your employees. All of these noisy voices are going to come up. They're going to tell you what you should be doing. They're going to tell you this doesn't make sense. Maybe they're going to encourage you. Maybe you hear voices of someone going, yeah, you know, burn the boats, go for it. Write all of those thoughts down, dump them out, just like you're dumping out that big bucket. And then start to just acknowledge whose voice is that? Whose voice is that? Whose opinion is that? You might be surprised who shows up. It might be that old boyfriend from, you know, 11th grade that said something to you that just stuck.

Kari Lotzien: [00:13:09] But as you look through the list of all of these voices that are in your head that are giving opinions on what you should or should not do, then I want you to lean in and decide, would you ask that person for advice? Would you trade them spots right now for their life? Do you acknowledge that they're living the type of life that you want to live? And if not, just like when you're listening and getting opinions on, you know, the new, latest and greatest cell phone, you can listen and say, thanks so much for the information, but I'm not interested right now. And just like that telemarketer, you're just going to kind of shut them down and push them out. So we want to acknowledge whose voice is that? Because sometimes we get confused and we might think that that's our own voice because it's been there so long that it sounds like your own. But when you give it a space and then you sort through and decide whose voice is that? And are you going to allow them to be a part of this decision as you move forward to this next phase? And then lastly, when you go through this process, you might not be able to see how this can even happen. If you're dreaming like I was about being able to leave my business, when I first started having that thought, when I first started journaling about it, I couldn't even imagine how that would happen.

Kari Lotzien: [00:14:30] But then when you can just start to go, okay, why do I want that? What am I craving in my life right now that this big goal is connected to? What I could see is that part of that big goal was connected to the idea that I wanted to explore another creative side of myself. I was starting to have ideas for my coaching business, for doing more consulting, for helping other entrepreneurs follow their dreams. I was starting to come into this place of mentorship. I think part of that was my age, where I started to want to give back to the person that I was in those first ten years of my business. I wanted to be able to give back to that next generation rather than to stay in it. And this idea just started once I started speaking about it, once I started sharing it a little bit in safe places, I started to see ways that I could integrate this new thing that I wanted, this new place that I was craving. I wanted to have more freedom and flexibility. So I started exploring that within my company. I started being able to travel a little bit more while still being available to my team. I started being able to start letting go of some of the responsibilities and the tasks that I was taking on and moving those to other team members.

Kari Lotzien: [00:15:53] So when we acknowledge what we really want, when we acknowledge what we really crave, we hear and give space for the voices that come in, that give us all of their opinions about what we should or shouldn't do. And then we really lean into the nitty gritty of that to say, are there elements, are there small steps, are there pieces of this next big why that I want to move towards in my own life to make the life that I crave? And how could I maybe take some small steps towards that in these next few months, maybe in this next week? This is how we can be constantly shifting and changing and developing the life that we really want. No matter where you are right now, no matter how far that dream or that new vision looks like, it might look like it is miles and miles away, it might be so foggy that you cannot see where you're going on this path, but these three steps can really help you to just start to navigate those next steps together and to give you, if nothing else, permission to give the voice to what is next for you so that you are captaining your own ship, you're taking the reins on what you want your destination to be, even if that means you're changing course a little bit or a lot. But to just start to give yourself some permission to visit your why.

Kari Lotzien: [00:17:23] Now I listen back to so many celebrities, entrepreneurs, people who have achieved levels of success that many of us can only dream of. When you go back and you listen to your heroes, your mentors, the people who are doing incredible things with their lives, many, many times they didn't decide what they were doing when they were 19 or 20 and stay with that until they were late into their 70s. They shifted. They changed. Sometimes big, big changes. They moved to different countries. They changed industries. They changed jobs. They did incredibly different things with their lives. But this is the path, I am sure of it. This is the path to making your life incredible and to developing things that really change our world for the better. You are leading the way. You are paving the way for that next generation of 19 and 20 year olds who are still believing that they have to decide what their life is going to look like at that stage. It's different now. We can show them this is the way to do it.

Kari Lotzien: [00:18:36] I am so glad you're here. Thanks for joining me in this conversation. If you found this podcast helpful, rate, and review the podcast. Please subscribe and follow. And if you are so inclined to take a screenshot, share it on your social media or send it to a friend, I want to build this community of people who are living bravely, who are creating lives that they crave but we're doing it together. Thanks so much for being here. Chat soon.

Kari Lotzien: [00:19:07] If you like what you've been hearing on the podcast and you would like to do a deep dive with me into your business, I have an invitation for you. This fall, October 2023, I'm going to be launching the Anchored Leadership Group Coaching program. This is a chance for entrepreneurs who are beyond the start-up phase of business. You already have paying customers or people who are buying your products. You've already gone through that gritty start-up phase and now you're at the place where you want to grow. You want to go to that next level without working more hours or stretching yourself any further. You know that that is not sustainable. People have told you maybe that you need to start delegating or you need to start building your team. This is how you're going to do that. We are going to talk about everything from how you can explain your vision to someone else on your team so that you don't lose the things that make your business uniquely you. You don't lose efficiency. You don't lose the quality of the services that your customers or clients have come to depend on. You're able to give feedback confidently, maybe when things don't go quite according to plan. We're going to talk about marketing and possibly rebranding as you start to build your team and your network. We're going to talk about relationships and how to intentionally use networking in your business. If these sound like things that are intriguing to you, let's just hop on a call together. Go to my website at BeTheAnchor.ca. All of the information is there, and you can book a discovery call with me. This is a chance for you to ask any questions that you have and to just find out if this feels like a good fit. Again, go to my website. BeTheAnchor.ca.

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A podcast for visionaries, entrepreneurs and people who dream big. We talk about getting real with yourself, doing the hard work and we share some insights and lessons learned along the way. 
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Contact Kari Lotzien, Be the Anchor: 

• Website: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Facebook: BeTheAnchorLtd
• Instagram: BeTheAnchor.ca
• Linkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd
  
   

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.