And Then Everything Changed

Award-winning international travel and culture journalist, author, speaker, playwright, screenwriter, movie and theatre critic, opera librettist, and theatre director Judie Fein believes everyone has a mission in life even if they don’t know what it is and part of that mission is to become whole, as whole as they were at birth. Her own experience overcoming a trauma in childhood and her interest in story has moved her to dig into her family history, visit her ancestral homeland, and create a life rooted in expression, accountability, and curiosity. 

In this episode she shares what she’s learned about the nature of family through emotional genealogy and relationship epigenetics, the elements essential to writing memoir, and what her life is like now in a post-family world.

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After suffering a massive stroke caused by a previously undiagnosed vascular malformation, Lafiro A. Gomez III became parayzed and utterly dependent on his family for care. He entered rehabilitation and worked on recovering some of his strength but was unable to carry out many basic functions on his own. Facing infections, deteriorating kidney function, and amputations he grew weary and depression shaped his days. Until loved ones encouraged him to begin writing again and he did. Using his thumb and an iPhone he created new worlds with characters that came alive and reminded him that nothing is impossible. Now the author of the novels Parachute Island and The Variants he joins And Then Everything Changed to tell his story, share his writing process, and reflect on what he’s learned about himself through the challenges he’s faced.

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At a young age, Alli Spotts-De Lazzer learned about the connection between food and body weight and was only 9 years old when she started dieting. For most of her life, she equated weight with purpose and worth and fought to overpower her body’s instinct to get the nutrition it needed to keep her healthy. After battling anorexia nervosa and avoiding treatment for years she finally reached the point where she wanted to be held accountable for her actions. She decided to share her experience with a therapist and begin to heal her relationship with weight and food. And when she did she was able to see her body and all bodies as a vessel to carry our mind, organs, and everything else that makes people who they are. 

Now, Alli is a licensed professional clinical counselor, LMFT, and a certified eating disorder specialist. She helps others overcome their battle around eating disorders and hopes that her new book, MeaningFULL: 23 Life-Changing Stories of Conquering Dieting, Weight, & Body Image Issues which tells not only her own story of recovery, but also the stories of others. It’s Alli’s hope that these accounts will encourage body acceptance and positivity and create a new dialogue about what good health means.

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The first time Natajia Miller, who grew up in the Bahamas, was stopped by police for Driving While Black she was en route to graduate school in Georgia, her mother in the passenger seat right beside her. After being pulled over, confronted by and racist and threatening language and police dogs, she and her mother were taken to the police station. There she was told that without paying a hefty bail she would not be released. The next time she was pulled over the arresting officer did so for a minor incident the arresting officer brought her into the station, put her in shackles, and she spent a night in jail. 

Not only did she feel ashamed, her life irrevocably changed that day. She knew that she would never be viewed or treated as equal in America because of the color of her skin. In this episode 

Natajia, who is now a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Consultant, shares her story, offers actionable steps on how to be an authentic-ally rather than a performative-ally, and weighs in on how much work there is to do. 

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When Annamarie Saarinen’s newborn daughter Eve was diagnosed with a congenital heart defect she didn’t know that 1 in 100 babies are born with similar conditions and 40% of those are serious and require intervention in early stages of life. What’s more Eve, like so many babies, almost missed getting diagnosed in time because there was no regular congenital heart defect screening for newborns on the Recommended Uniform Screening Panel for newborns. Weeks and then months unfolded with Eve in the NICU until she was old enough to have the heart surgery that would save her life.

Annamarie’s experience set her on a life-changing course to transform the way the medical community approaches heart defects in babies. She co-founded The Newborn Foundation to develop policies, programs and technologies to improve early diagnosis, health outcomes and access to care for mothers and babies and has drafted more than 40 pieces of health legislation, authored more than 200 policy briefings and co-authored numerous published manuscripts on the importance of technology in advancing early detection and treatment of neonatal and pediatric health conditions. In celebration of Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week, Annamarie shares Eve’s story, the work she’s doing through the pandemic to help get care to babies in resource poor settings, and her belief that those of us that have the means and the ability have to do all we can to make sure that the dreams and wishes other families have aren’t out of reach. 

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Six years before George Floyd's death triggered national reaction to brutality and racism in policing, Phillipe Holland was shot 14 times by officers in Philadelphia.

Phillipe never thought he would go public with the details but after the deaths of Eric Garner, Philando Castile, Michael Brown, Tamir Rice and George Floyd he no longer felt he had a choice. While Phillipe has had nonviolent interactions with police chants of Blue Lives Matter and All Lives Matter don’t sit well with him and hopes that by telling his story more people will understand the danger and inequality Black people face. 

In this episode he shares what his life was like in 2014 as a twenty-year-old student working several jobs just before he got shot, how the violent assault unfolded, and its aftermath.

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The hardest moment in Mark Schutter’s life was when he had to walk out of the hospital room where his wife had just died, knowing he would go back to their empty house alone. Mark and his wife met in college and were married for five years over which time she was diagnosed with cancer twice. 

Mark was her main anchor; in charge of her state of mind and health through her battle. His 20s were full of sleepless nights, fear of loss, and the weight of being the sole care provider, yet he had few resources to support him. Though he felt broken he also believed that men were not supposed to express their feelings and he tried to carry on without help.

Several years later Mark remarried and with his wife’s encouragement and insight began to acknowledge the pain he’d experienced. He’s worked with a therapist—something he never would have done years ago—and has just completed a memoir, Cowboys Are Not Supposed To Cry, for people who have loved and lost, and need help moving on, especially men, who like Mark, may not always know how to allow themselves to be vulnerable. 

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Jaclyn Greenberg did not know she had contracted Cytomegalovirus (CMV) during her second pregnancy until her 34-week check-up when doctors discovered her baby was not growing correctly, had fluid in his brain, and had an enlarged heart. Jaclyn was rushed to the hospital to have an emergency C-Section and after she delivered Henry spent that whole summer practically living in the NICU. 

Because Henry’s brain stopped developing between 30 and 32 weeks his medical team didn’t know what he would ultimately be capable of, or even if he would live. Jaclyn’s sense of guilt overwhelmed her and she entered a deep depression. She stopped visiting the hospital as often and when she was at work or with her other child, relied on others to take care of Henry in ways that she felt unable to. 

Then, one day she began to feel better and she realized she wanted to enjoy the life she had with her family life and stop trying to fix what could not be fixed. Jaclyn became an advocate for her son and began insisting on getting medical care with doctors who see beyond Henry’s disabilities and treat him like a whole person. Jaclyn is now a mother of three and has made it her mission to battle the stigma the differently-abled face, educate others, and spend quality time with her husband and her children, all of whom look out for each other unconditionally and remind her every day how far they have come as a family.

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