The movement from avoidance to acceptance is an area in which both therapy and zen dovetail and overlap. The suffering we experience when invested in the separate self takes two basic forms: lack and resistance. In this talk we focus on the example of shame or personal inadequacy. Shame is an emotion we experience from a deep sense of lack – we will never be good enough and it is a painful feeling we want to get rid of. In our zen practice we welcome all feelings and thoughts, whether they be comfortable or uncomfortable. When we recognise our true nature as impersonal awareness, we are naturally accepting of whatever is coming and going in our awareness. So, in zen, acceptance is not a technique we have to practice getting better at, acceptance is the functioning of our true nature. It is only the mind that picks and chooses. Before we can live without shame, we have first to live with it. In welcoming our painful feelings, we accept ourselves, even our vulnerable or hidden parts. Thus, we become whole and heal the primal wound of separation.

Recorded 25.03.18.

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I give some history of American Zen and some details of Joko’ biography. This helps to understand her break from her teacher, Taizan Maezumi Roshi and the innovations she made to western Zen, such as her emphasis on practice and deemphasis on the teacher and enlightenment. Her emphasis on psychology and deemphasis on robes and ritual, developing a unique American style of zen.

This talk begins with Wordsworth’s Intimations of Immortality – how as children and even as adolescents we are in touch with the wonder of being alive, but as we become adults, we tend to lose this wonder and it is obscured by the “realities” of family life and work. Then the “fall” happens, the loss of wonder. Life is taken for granted. We identify with our separate self and suffer. Then at a certain point, we start to seek again, that homesickness inside that yearns for paradise lost. On the spiritual path we again start to inquire into the question, who or what is aware? This inquiry invites us to re-discover this mystery. However, because we are so accustomed to a life of drama and seeking excitement as an escape from the dull monotony of our lives, we may miss the simple wonder of the awareness of just being here.

Recorded 11.03.18.

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“The mystery is never very far away – it is so close that sometimes we miss it!” This mystery or wonder at existence is often something we experience in childhood and adolescence, but when we arrive at adulthood, we often get disconnected from it as we become preoccupied with our busy lives. Retreat is an opportunity for us to re-connect with this mystery.

Recorded 13.04.18.

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We are social and political beings. From an evolutionary point of view our brain has developed in order to help us survive.

Buddhism offers the hope of living in a world were other human beings do not represent a threat. One of the ways our body/brain regulates threat is through the autonomic nervous system. Habits of connection or protection. We want to shape our nervous system to be more open and less fearful. Zazen makes an important contribution to relaxing and opening the heart to our own fears and the fear of the other, shaping our nervous system to respond with love and kindness.

The Bodhisattva vow is to awaken with all beings realising the impermanence interdependence and perfection of all life. From our deep realisation of this reality arises deep compassion and gratitude. The realisation that we and life are perfect just as we are is hard to understand. We think, this doesn’t feel like Buddha, because we have expectations or beliefs about what we think Buddha should be like. We habitually resist being just this moment. Please observe this.

Gratitude can be taken up as a practice in itself, both formally and/or informally, which is perfectly in harmony with Zen practice.

What does it mean to identify as a Buddhist? There is a diversity of Buddhism, so what kind of Buddhist? The most important point for me is that it is a commitment to a teaching and a teacher. We are all students of the Buddha Way. We are always deepening our understanding and our practice. In Buddhism the teaching is called dharma. We could say we are students of the dharma.

What is the essence of Zen Buddhism? In this talk I propose that the four seals summarise the essence of Zen Buddhism. The four seals are:

1. Life inevitably involves suffering;

2. Everything is impermanent;

3. Everything is interdependent; and

4. Nirvana is peace or perfection found in this life.

Entrustment by Andrew Tootell

This talk was given during the Autumn 2018 retreat which included Peter Joshu Thompson as a guest teacher. This talk, in contrast to classical Zen teaching, discusses the importance of the inherent value of the personal self and the capacity for intimacy – to awaken the vulnerable open-heart-centred self. It is important that we don’t interpret Buddhist no-self to mean our personal self has no intrinsic value. It asks the question, what is it that makes us uniquely human?

Our practice IS awakening. Awakening to each moment. Hence awakening is endless for as long as we live. Being caught in a emotion-thought reactivity is what constrains us from being awake. When we are awake, we can respond. When we are caught in the dream we react. Practice itself is awakening. We don’t practice to wake up, practice is awakening.