Andy B Podcasts and Stuff

Introduction
In this week’s Marriage Matters, Andy B and Jo do some more straight talking about sex in marriage – ‘Let’s get physical’ Part 3 – would you believe it! The focus is still on the good stuff and the benefits of a healthy sex life in marriage! 

Jo recaps from the last episode, having covered frequency of sex in marriage, expectations, and false messages that we bring into our marriages, the advantages of a healthy sex life in marriage and Jo’s favourite memory of sex in her own marriage to Andy B.

In Part 3, Andy B and Jo move on to moods and feelings towards sex. Did they open a can of worms or was this a helpful discussion – find out for yourselves!

It’s the same scripture verses as the first ‘Let’s get physical’ episode, all relevant, all apply and good stuff!

• Matthew 19:6
• 1 Corinthians 6:18 
• 1 Corinthians 7:5

You could also check out the celebration of sex in the song of songs!

• ·         Read Song of songs in the bible
• ·         Read ‘The Message of the Song of Songs’ by Tom Gledhill to help you understand this book on sex in the bible – yes in the bible!
• ·         Read ‘Sex, Romance and the Glory of God’ by C.J Mahaney and/ or
• ·         Read ‘Feminine Appeal’ by Carolyn Mahaney
• ·         And finally if this was not enough why not check out ‘Hot, Holy & Humorous by J. Parker

Jo notes the need for sensitivity on both sides when it comes to being ‘in the mood’.

Sex is so good that Andy B and Jo realised they need to do it justice and plan to come back with Part 4 of sex to get physical again!

Andy and Jo

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One of the most powerful words in the English language has just two letters in it. 

It begins with the letter “N” and ends with the letter “O”.

As Christians we can be under so much pressure to say yes to everything, and church leaders can be notorious for forgetting that the people who are giving of their time to serve in churches, how ever important that particular ministry may appear, also have lives to live and church is just one small piece of that.

Being part of a church family is really important. The bible goes to great lengths to remind us of the importance of exactly this! But our primary ministry is always to our family, especially if we are married or have children.

Clive Calver, who once led the Evangelical Alliance in the UK had to learn to say the word ‘No’. It reached a point where he realised he could have been in perhaps 3 or 4 meetings every night, or more, ever single day of the week. He didn’t like to say no. But, when  he realised he had more meetings than evenings that he was needed at, saying no became something he was able to start saying. With maturity there is a certain degree of wisdom. With wisdom you realise that saying no can be the best thing you can ever do! And I use the word do, because we love to be busy doing stuff. When, in our relationship with God, it is no less important to do nothing in order to simply be with God. And that requires us saying no to something!

Within the context of a church family saying yes means we can give of our time. But, saying no, means we’re letting somebody else give of their time to God instead. If we’re not careful our ability to say yes can overwhelm other voices who may be less comfortable saying yes out loud.

All things have a beginning and an end. Which means that all things have a middle too! At some point we have to realise we can’t do everything because there is more to do than we can humanly do, and if we can’t do everything, and can only do some things, it is logical to conclude that we should be more than willing to say no in order to selectively do what God is asking of us. And it also means, interestingly, that we need to be encouraging people to say no, as much as we may currently urge them to say yes!

So give yourself a break, and be happy saying no to people, because God wants our hearts far more than our hands.

Just a thought…

Andy B

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It’s so easy to look at someone and make a snap judgement based on what we see, or perhaps what we smell. For example, if we smell a super expensive perfume, we may well label that person as “wealthy and important”. But if they smell as though they haven’t had a wash for a few weeks, we might assign a label of “dirty and homeless”.

Both labels may be true, but they don’t help us at all when it comes to how we should be towards them. Because the person with money is just as valuable as the person without. And, actually, if we read how Jesus treated those two types of people, we’d realise that the person with less is actually the person Jesus would be drawn towards much more. What a world we could live in if we valued people as God valued them, rather than what they can do for us?

We really do love to assign labels don’t we? The happy family. The sad widow. The goth.

If we give someone a label, then we feel like we’re more likely to understand who they are and how we should respond.

Using those first two examples I gave, anybody can wear expensive perfume – especially if they have stolen it. And the person who hasn’t washed for a weeks could have had their money stolen and be unable to pay for heating for their home or to wash their clothes.

So, let’s not be quick to assign labels to the people we meet, and let’s make sound judgements about the people who we do come into contact with, be it frequently, or simply occasionally.

It takes a year for us to see the fruit on a fruit tree, so why not give the next person you meet for the first time the same amount of time before you judge who, or what, they are.

But the bible does tell us to make judgements, and what to look for when doing so. What it doesn’t do is ever tell us to be judgemental. That’s never something we should entertain, and that’s where labelling people can go, oh, so, wrong!

Just a thought…

Andy B

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While filming some new material I made one small mistake, and gave one file the wrong title. When looking through the files on the computer later, I realised it had caused a whole bunch of files to now appear to be incorrectly labelled.

After spending some time trying to sort it, I realised I really needed a second set of eyes looking at the problem, so called in my middle son – Nathan.

Together we worked out the easiest way of renaming files correctly: sometimes we just need a second opinion – somebody else who can look at the problem and help us sort out a solution.

In our lives it is always good to make ourselves accountable. Feelings can lead us down dead ends in no time, with us wondering what happened and struggling to get out of the mess we’re now in. And this is where getting that second opinion, from a trusted friend who we are safe holding ourselves accountable with, comes into its own.

Due to my own frustration, I was struggling to sort those file names out; y frustration simply added to my own difficulty getting it sorted. Step in someone looking over my shoulder, literally, who could encourage me and affirm the solution I already knew I needed – on this occasion. And it was soon put right.

Those trusted friends can also help us from making a mistake in the first place.

We’re never going to be able to prevent every problem that we see before us. However, if we can avoid a few holes in the road, it’s better for everyone.

So, don’t always feel like you are somehow supposed to cope with every difficulty you face, and ask someone you trust to take a look at what  you’re doing, or wanting to do, and take on board their advice and input.

Just a thought...

Andy B

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Andy B starts this week’s GoDeeper with a prime example of hypocrisy, in which someone balances precariously on a ladder which is balancing on two tables and says, “don’t do this at home.” 

He draws our attention to the Pharisees of the Bible who were very hypocritical, so much so that Jesus called them ‘white-washed tombs’. They knew the law like the backs of their hands but did not live it out.

Andy B points out that outward actions, which seem hypocritical, don’t necessarily point to hypocrisy, but what goes on in the heart does. And God sees our hearts.

He draws to a close with observations of hypocrisy in churches and a reminder of the humanity of those who show hypocrisy. At one level none of us are any better; everyone has fallen short of God’s glorious standards.

Andy B

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Introduction

In this week’s Marriage Matters, Andy B and Jo do some more straight talking about sex in marriage – ‘Let’s get physical’ Part 2 – still focusing on the good stuff and the benefits! 

Jo recaps from the last episode and both Andy and Jo realise that they covered quite a lot, including, how we need to talk about sex openly, that we need to be careful what we watch – sex scenes in films are not always helpful – you can’t unsee something! – practising sex in marriage means it gets better – practise makes perfect!

It’s the same scripture verses as the first ‘Let’s get physical’ episode, all relevant, all apply and good stuff!

Matthew 19:6

• 1 Corinthians 6:18 
• 1 Corinthians 7:5 

You could also check out the celebration of sex in the song of songs!

• Read Song of songs in the bible
•  Read ‘The Message of the Song of Songs’ by Tom Gledhill to help you understand this book on sex in the bible – yes in the bible!
• Read ‘Sex, Romance and the Glory of God’ by C.J Mahaney and/ or
•  Read ‘Feminine Appeal’ by Carolyn Mahaney
• And finally if this was not enough why not check out ‘Hot, Holy & Humorous by J. Parker

Andy and Jo both reiterate the importance of sex and the benefits within a marriage between one man and one woman.

Andy B concludes that God has a best plan for sex, that there are loads of obstacles to having sex in marriage and that we need to make sure these obstacles are not ones that don’t need to be there.

Jo, as promised, reveals her favourite sexual moment in their marriage, well two or was it three or four!

Sex is so good that Andy B and Jo realised they need to do it justice and plan to come back with Part 3 and 4 of sex to get physical again!

Andy and Jo

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I’ve finished another book writing project.

I’m pretty thrilled about it, but when I say I’ve finished, that’s just the initial editing. Next up is my middle son – Nathan – who follows behind me cleaning up any spelling mistakes or grammar issues. He’s a star!

After that it’s simply down to finalising the cover while waiting for the foreword being written by a friend, set a date for publishing and away we go!

As I was sitting there looking at the last text, on the last page, I thought about the other books I’ve got stacked up, ready to write.

I love the little blinking cursor on the page of a brand new book, because it reminds me of endless possibilities.

So, where in your life is God wanting you to look further down the road, rather than just a your feet. He cares about your present. But He cares even more about your future.

That’s why He sent His only son to secure a future for every one of us, that we can only access via Jesus.

Are you looking at your future and worrying about how it will pan out? God isn’t – He can already see your future.

Just a thought…

Andy B

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Every day is a learning day! And I learned that you can be made to learn the same thing over and over! Because, today, I learned that it can be too early to count your chickens. Again!

Having struggled with fitting a replacement TV to our supposed universal TV stand, I thought I had sorted the issue with being unable to fit cables in the back - due to the way the universal TV stand completely covered the plugs and sockets and on the back of the TV; I bought some right angled plugs that were meant to bypass the issue by simply pointing the plugs away from the solid metal of the TV stand, making it easy.

In my excitement I managed to bend one of those right-angle plugs as I tried to put the whole assembly back together. Turns out the gap between the back of the TV and the universal stand was quite a bit less than I thought, hence the newly purchased - and now bent - plug!

After giving up quickly with that particular solution I spent some 30 minutes cutting the metal on the TV stand, before bending it flat on itself – with a hammer - so it no longer blocked the path for those cables which could be easily pushed into their respective sockets.

This got me thinking about those times when we rush ahead, all while assuming the solution in our hand is the exact one needed at that exact moment. Or at least it may be a solution, but it may actually not quite fit as we’d hoped. It might even be the right solution but delivered at the wrong moment. For example, there is little point fitting a new windscreen (windshield) to your car before you remove the reason it got smashed in the first place - right solution, wrong timing.

One example that comes to mind is the Christian faith. We can throw it confidently at people, as the solution to all solutions: Jesus truly is the way, the truth, and the life and He makes everyone’s life infinitely better. But we can’t force people to follow Jesus and become His disciples. Our responsibility is to simply ensure we show everybody who meets us that we have a love of Jesus Christ (and whatever actions may be necessary for us to live out that love of Jesus) and allow the Holy Spirit to do the rest.

The bible teaches us to consider carefully before committing to follow Jesus. It also reminds us that it isn’t something we should do on a whim. So, we need to be careful when offering up Christianity as the solution – it is a perfect solution but, much like my rather bent little plug, we can’t force a good solution upon a person who is not ready because we’ll do more damage.

So, let’s let everyone we meet see the Jesus Christ in us through our words and actions. But let’s not try and force it anyone. That simply doesn’t end well for anybody.

Just a thought…

Andy B

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Every day is a learning day!

We saw some friends recently who gave us a TV they no longer needed. It’s bigger than the one we have, so we were really grateful for such a kind gift. And, at home, we have a universal flat screen stand – which we knew could handle the job of holding up the TV.

I don’t know about you but I’ve recently come to the conclusion that the something designed to be ‘universal’ really means it’s something that is designed to accommodate or fit anything other than the very thing you need to, which it is specifically should be able to fit. Because, unfortunately, the bracket that attaches to the back of the TV, actually completely covered over the back of the TV where all the sockets are placed!

And while I’m always one for problem solving, I just didn’t fancy cutting through a sheet of steel with my junior hacksaw, just to plug in a DVD player.

The problem was simply that there was not enough room between the back of the TV, and that metal plate on the ‘universal’ fitting so I bought some right angled plugs that will fix the problem because they create a lovely, flat, right angle so we have as much as room as we need for those cables, and no thumbs would need to be put at risk!

We do this in life thought, don’t we! We injure ourselves, physical - and emotionally – by trying to make ourselves fit into something, that we just don’t fit. We squeeze ourselves, causing untold damage trying to fit in.

The school playground comes to mind – where we commonly try and look like everyone else, just so we don’t stand out and get noticed. But, as people who call themselves Christians, however, we are supposed to stand out. We’re not supposed to blend into the background!

Let’s let God do the problem solving for us and be willing to look for simpler solutions. If He can design the hydrological cycle, he can help us no matter what issue we’re facing, whether that’s trying to fit cables into the back of a TV through a universal stand that isn’t as universal as it thinks it is, or something far more important!

Just a thought…

Andy B

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Our studio camera is great! The quality is outstanding, and it can even record 4k video should we want to. When setting it up I popped in an SD memory Card I had kept for a while in a drawer. I figured it’d work no problem! But, with the best will in the world, there’s so much data our camera can hold onto while waiting to write data (video) to the memory card in it’s side.

And, as it turns out, that old memory card I reused simply was not up the task at hand because it could have data written onto it at one particular speed. But, since our camera is of good quality, it can write at a much higher speed. But, importantly, it NEEDS to write a much higher speed that our little SD card could cope with which resulted in the camera working harder than it should, getting hot and switching itself off to prevent overheating.

It was working too hard due to an inadequate memory card which, to the naked eye, looked identical.

Once I’d done a quick bit of research and installed a newer version of memory card the problems went away!

In our lives as Christians, do we find ourselves doing something similar? Do we just grab an old memory from our faith and wonder why it simply won’t do what we hoped it might – what it used to do?

As we become more like Jesus Christ; as we develop in our faith; as we mature as Christians we change. And that is the true wonder of a living Christian faith with God – that we don’t finish the same way we started! Thank God for that mercy!!

Rather than relying on old experiences (or old technology) make sure you constantly update your relationship with Jesus. Do that by spending time with God, by reading the bible, by being with other Christians and renewing your mind daily because what seemed ok to you yesterday, may well have changed.

Our memories don’t become invalid with time! But, there are always new experiences to be had with Jesus, so don’t look back only. Look at the present too and you’ll soon spot some differences!

Just a thought…

Andy B

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