Introduction

In this week’s Marriage Matters, Andy B and Jo talk about the importance of honesty in marriage and being gentle. They speak candidly about how we can go from being supportive, kind and loving to our spouse to cruel and unkind and critical if we are not careful.

As always, Andy B steers the episode with scripture and explores the following:

• Proverbs 27:5-6
• Proverbs 27:17
• Proverbs 5:3

Andy B and Jo make the point that there is a need to tell our spouse some difficult truths sometimes, whether it’s as simple as not liking what they wear or disliking their culinary delights or the need for our spouse to slow down, rest or stop working!

There is a balance to be had between being straight on the one hand but being gentle about it on the other.

Tips and Resources

• Watch the Film – War Room 
• Read the Scriptures: Proverbs 27:5-6, 17 & 5:3
• Read Song of Songs
• Read 1 Corinthians 13 – All about love!

The Take Away

• Focus on the good things in your marriage and about your spouse.
• Difficulties in marriage will come and temptations to be harsh and cruel -1 Corinthians 13 is the antidote!

Andy and Jo

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Temporary or permanent. You might see this in an advert for a job. But there are many temporary things in the world, that became permanent features.

From the Eiffel Tower to a bridge built after World War II and “pre-fab” houses in the UK, some temporary things last well, but others show their age quickly.

In our home we don’t do well with bright light coming into our room when trying to sleep. A temporary fix for this is showing its temporary nature, after less than a couple of months, while Andy B has been looking for some second hand blackout curtains.

Sometimes things we do, to get us through a bad day, can become permanent fixtures in our lives. But good things can be the same.

It just make good sense to review stuff in our spiritual lives that we started for a short time, that we’re doing longer term.

Just a thought…

Andy B

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Time. The one sure thing we can be certain of is that time cares not for how we’re doing. It doesn’t go faster when we need it to. And no matter how much we will it, it won’t slow down either.

Times marches ever on!

For our online Ministry we’ve taken to doing the bulk of our weekly filming on a Saturday. It doesn’t take up the whole day, but it saves loads of time overall. We’ve given that day over to filming our work – the editing comes later during the following week.

Sometimes things go well, and sometimes, well, they just don’t! And on our last filming day we watched the time racing away from us while we had to deal with numerous problems that cropped up. By the end of Sunday, our weekend had simply not gone as planned, and we were really tired!

If experience has taught me anything it is that we will almost certainly stay just as tired until the following weekend, when we can try having a rest, once again! Meanwhile, we just have to keep going, putting one foot in front of the other.

In our walk with God it can feel as though nothing goes right from our end! But we need to keep trying to move closer to God, no matter what our watch or clock is telling us, or how well our day, or week is going.

And if you’re really tired, take a pause, a deep breath and press on!

Just a thought…

Andy B

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It’s a great thought to seek to only give God our best. But we need to check whether giving God what we have, and making sure that is the best we can offer, doesn’t become assigning human values to what we think God will want from us.

While grabbing some time with Jo, Andy B drove her to work. This meant they had some time together while Jo worked a half day, that they wouldn’t have otherwise had together.

And we should want to give God our best. We should desire to set aside quality moments of deliberately set aside time with God, each and every day. But God doesn’t time how long we spend with Him. He doesn’t check which bible version we have open or if we have a bible open at all. He doesn’t verify whether our prayers are spoken, or written, or whether we’ve watched the latest devotion from an ordained minster before sitting down God for a set period of time. Because what God desires is our heart.

If you find yourself, on the odd day, having less mental energy, or less physical time – to give to God – then give Him what you have. All God wants is our heart. The rest will follow. 

If we only ever give God the scraps from our day, every day, then we need to look at that – we need to be giving God our best. But our best doesn’t necessarily mean what we think it means.

Don’t wait until the conditions are right before you sit down with God. If all you have is a few minutes left, give Him that – it is amazing what God can do, with our smallest of offerings, when what we offer to Him is all we have.

Just a thought…

Andy B

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Andy B begins this week’s theme, “Honestly, I’m fine”, with a reminder of how skilled we can become at hiding our emotions through “Sunday smiles”. 

He warns us that sometimes people will ask us how we are without really wanting to know the answer, reminding us to only ask a question if we are willing to hear the response.

He relates how honest David, of the Bible, was towards God, when writing many of the Psalms. 

He also points out that it’s only when we are honest with our brothers and sisters in Christ that they can help us. Andy B does make a point of stating that you shouldn’t open up about your life’s problems with just anybody; you need to use wisdom.

In addition to all of this he tells of an occasion he was able to help someone because they chose to be honest with him.

Andy B

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Introduction

In this week’s Marriage Matters, Andy B and Jo talk about arguments, disagreements, quarrels, and fights between married couples.

As always, Andy B steers the episode with scripture and explores the following:

• James 4:1-3
• Genesis 3:16
• Ephesians 5:22-33
• Colossians 3:14 

Andy B and Jo acknowledge that disagreements are natural and that arguments happen in marriage and look at why and what can be done, sharing as usual their own experiences. Jo adds that we often forget what we were even arguing about as arguments get out of hand and notes the damage that can be done to each other as we say things that hurt. 

Andy B and Jo look at ways to disagree in a healthy way, without sinning, without causing strife and disharmony. 

Let’s create a harmonious home, by learning together how to ‘Keep the Peace’!

#RealTalk – Quarrels and Fights

Tips and Resources

• Watch the Film – War Room 
• Radical Womanhood by Carolyn McCulley
• Stormie Omartian – Power of a Praying Husband & Power of a Praying Wife
• Read Ephesians 5:22-33
• Meditate on James 4:1-3

The Take Away

Arguments and quarrels are part of life, but never a justification to hurt others – Colossians 3:14 is the antidote!

 Andy and Jo

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Are you hurting inside?

Do you feel alone?

Do you feel lonely, even if you’re surrounded by people?

Have your emotions left you feeling tired and like you have nothing left to give?

Have you lost your job? Or a friend? Or a precious member of your family?

Are you left wondering where hope will come from?

Do you feel different from everybody around you – like you’ve got struggles they wouldn’t, and couldn’t understand?

From being a victim of childhood abuse to enduring unemployment as an adult, and the tragic death of a daughter, Andy B has lived through some pretty testing pain, but, always, God was there to walk alongside Him.

And if God’s plans are for our good, how can we trust that God really loves us, when bad stuff happens around us and to us.

The comforting thing, is that Jesus was rejected and betrayed from one of his closest friends companions. And while He was both Jesus and God, He still felt the pain personally, even weeping to the point of tears when the emotional strain overwhelmed Him.

We’re all looking for something to help us feel peaceful, and we’ll do it any which way we can.

But there is one, certain, place we can find hope.

And that is in a relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you've enjoyed this video, share it with a friend, or you can buy it as a book in either ebook or paper book format. 

Andy B

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I love how inspiration works. Truly! A friend and I were exchanging some comments on his blog, Devotional Treasures. He was talking about meds, or medication, and that made me think of my alarms – that help me take my meds at the right times.

Medication needs to be taken carefully, having considered all the potential risks and side effects. You expect your doctor to have checked that whatever medication you’re being prescribed is either safe, or at least that the side effects are worth while should they exist.

But, when you start mixing medication, that has multiple applications, you can end up in a world of trouble. Again, this is where we put a lot of faith in our doctor to have thought that through as well, and to warn patients about common side effects, or the issues of other drugs and mediation you could take which might mess with the medication you have already been prescribed.

To make sure I take my medication every day – which I have to do every 12 hours – to stop my heart doing anything stupid, I have two alarms.

While they go off and are very audible, I can be so engrossed in something I hit the ‘snooze’ button and lose 30 minutes or even an hour, before I suddenly remember there was something I should have been doing.

And so it is in our relationship with God.

As we go through life there are all sorts of alarms that God sets off around us, ahead of us, within us. These alarms are certainly unmistakable - the bible tells us, more than once, that the nature of God is very evident, through nature and more, so that none of us can say we don’t know God; none of us can defend the things we do that we know are wrong, by saying we don’t know God, or that we don’t the difference between right and wrong.

God has programmed us to know exactly that.

Those alarms may be described as your conscience, or guilt. But whatever we choose to name them, we all know when we’re about to do something we know we shouldn’t do.

Sure, we can suppress those alarms, just like I do with my twin alarms every 12 hours to remind me to take my medication. But, just like my medication – if we ignore those alarms for too long, we end up doing irreparable damage to our bodies and minds.

Think those thoughts of a woman who isn’t your wife are harmless? We feel uncomfortable because those thoughts are an alarm. We need to act – and renew our minds, and getting those thoughts out of our vision.

Taking some stationary from work, but hiding it; you know you’re possibly owed it, but taking it without consent is still theft, so you hide it in a bag when no one is looking. That desire to hide what you’re doing is an alarm from God, warning us we’re doing something that is not in our best interest.

Driving over the speed limit and you continually sweat and worry there is a police car somewhere back there? That is an alarm form God that you’re driving too fast and need to slow down.

We ignore those alarms at our peril.

Andy B

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While chatting with a friend this morning, I was struck by the ease with which we can be driven along by life, when we really should be resisting that pressure, and being led instead.

Sure, there can be life issues which pop up in front of us, which we quickly need to deal with, dropping everything in order to do so. There is a rush or life that we need to pay attention to.

However, we should be led not driven, most of the time.

Not one person on the planet enjoys being forced to do something they don’t want to do. If we’re driven to something, then it is not something that tends to be a positive experience.

But, if we can be led somewhere, we are far more likely to enjoy the journey, the experience, and the outcome.

So, while it is good to be flexible rolling with resistance, and practicing to Tuck and Roll as necessary, it shouldn’t be our norm to be driven along by life.

 Take moments throughout in your day to make sure you’ve being led, not driven. Develop a mindset that enables you to be more considerate of what God is asking you to do, rather than just what you feel you have no choice but to do. 

Just a thought…

Andy B

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With life it often seems like we have just two choices to make - wrap ourselves in plastic bubble wrap to protect us from falls and pain. Or we can wear a crash helmet and keep charging on!

Actually, I think there is a third option – a little bit of bubble wrap, a crash helmet, and some time planning out what is in front of us.

There’s always gonna be stuff that knocks us for six! However, more frequently if we’d simply taken a pause before charging along, we could have spotted the issues, or busyness, and figured out a better plan or route!

While falling off my motorbike many years ago, I had time to consider my actions. I knew the accident was coming before it happened. SO, I did the best I could do to jump off the bike and brace myself to tuck and roll. It worked pretty well and was a low speed spill. If I’d had more time to prepare, I’d have got the registration plate of the car that swerved across my path.

But we rarely get as much time as we’d like when bad things happen. I wonder how many people have actually bought a fridge or washing machine in a calm manner, rather than running in, grabbing the nearest one, and rushing back out to squeeze it in the car for the made dash home!

Life can do this to us. We can’t prepare for everything. But, if we have a busy day ahead, we can take time out to be with God, slow down, hush and pause, and create a better plan of attack – from a place of peace!

Just a thought…

Andy B

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