In this episode, I interview Alan and Marianne Downing about the importance of identity. We also talk about a transformative experience that I had at a men's retreat that was put on by their organization, Discover Identity, and that is called As I Am.
Here is a little bit more information about Alan and Marianne:
Alan and Marianne Downing are professional identity coaches with more than 50 years’ combined experience working with individuals, couples and communities. Marianne began her career as a therapist working for LDS Family Services in New Zealand and was living in Paris, putting in place LDS Family Services in French-speaking Europe when she met Alan online.
After 20 years in corporate America, Alan attended several men’s retreats that changed his life. In response, he began studying counseling and psychodrama and staffing experiential retreats. When Alan and Marianne met face to face for the first time on top of the Arc de Triomphe in their 50’s, he had already created several retreats and staffed over 100. They soon discovered they were on a parallel journey to re-establish their individual identities. They had both tried to save their temple marriages only to realize they were losing themselves in the process. Each of their journeys involved strengthening their relationship with themselves and the Lord.
As they talked with each other, they recognized others around them also sacrificing their identities in an effort to save their relationships. They turned their experiences into a mission and joined forces with other enthusiastic volunteers to create a nonprofit organization called Discover Identity that provides experiential retreats and groups for men and women. Their aim is to help others discover and create their identity, using Jesus Christ as a role model. The retreats have expanded beyond the Latter-day Saints to include other faith communities of all ages and backgrounds from all over the United States and Canada.
The principles that drive Alan and Marianne in this joint mission are:
Knowing who we are strengthens our relationships with ourselves, others and God.
You can’t have a “we” without a “me”.
That Jesus Christ is the best role model for developing a solid sense of self.
We gain wisdom as we live life, hence the value of experiential retreats.
Alan and Marianne are both converts to the restored gospel and returned missionaries who have served in a wide variety of callings for almost 50 years. They were married for the second time in the Manhattan Temple. They have 6 children between them and 11 grandchildren with 1 on the way.
Testimonials from men and women who have attended the retreat:
"It was just one year after I lost my wife and my grandson in a drowning incident that I attended As I Am. I went seeking healing. I came home feeling that at least half of the processes of the retreat had been included just for me. There was much healing. I experienced Quorum there—authenticity, transparency, vulnerability and safety.”
"This retreat changed me. …This retreat gave tools, experiences, and opportunities to confront that strained relationship (…with God and Christ) head on. I made more progress in those couple of days than I had in 9 years. I feel reborn, rejuvenated, and recommitted to my desire to love and follow and serve God and Christ."
“For me, it is like being released from a prison … I find the real me is a pretty good guy. Finding that I can love myself for who I am, has also caused me to feel love for others in my life. It has reduced my prejudices and judgments of others and helped me to see others as Christ does.”
“I loved thinking about who I want to become and how to get there.”
Contact:
Alan: [email protected]
Marianne: [email protected]
Discover Identity : www.discoveridentity.org; [email protected]
