If Kristin Cavallari can snag an eight-figure podcast deal, then Dear Media can surely toss a few coins our way. Tina’s back from lake life and Nashville-bound — but not before drinks with Gina and a Bravo download with Marie that’s juicier than a Housewives confessional. From J.Lo dodging A-Rod questions to Diane von Furstenberg’s husband coming out, Sofia Richie’s baby bump, and Meghan Markle’s revolving door of PR people.

Then it’s Housewives galore: Miami’s meltdowns, Salt Lake’s high-seas drama, and OC’s Amsterdam antics (yes, shrooms and space cakes were involved). Sprinkle in Andy Cohen’s shade, Kevin Federline’s “tell-all,” and Kim Kardashian’s metaphorical mask moment — and you’ve got one jam-packed gossip sesh.

No Offense But… this episode is basically Page Six with punchlines.

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