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Hi pals. You can tell us. What are the snacks you enjoy that other people in your life consider extremely weird? Or even upsetting? Comment below. And DON’T LIE for effect now, give us your real strange snackery. AMT413’s questioneers need to know! They also needed to know about:

chess cake/pie
secret marriage
goose fat
celebs getting coffee
Regina, Saskatchewan
Dumpin’ Donuts
the word ‘brassiere’
Colin Firth’s fake lake swim
what to wear on TV
what are the Wombles
sad – but caffeinated – Ben Affleck
triple egg
and
how rich is Mr Darcy?

AMT414 will be out 29 January 2026, so send your questions in writing or voice note to [email protected] or call 0208 123 5877 like the old days. Remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you.

And for paying patrons, the next edition of our video livestream question-answering session Petty Problems is happening on 16 January 2026, so we welcome your ungrave queries for that too.
So become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis and you not only get to watch all the Petty Problemses, you also receive an ad-free version of the episode, plus bonus material each month, and if you sign up at one of the higher tiers, you get access to an RSS feed with ALL the AMT stuff EVER, including our entire back catalogue, our six themed albums, the retro AMTs, and every Bit of Crapp from the AMT App. Cor! AND you’re helping with the continuing existence of AMT through 2026.

Check out our other work:

Olly lists his work at ollymann.com, where you’ll find his several podcasts including his daily history show Today in History with the Retrospectors and his monthly magazine show The Modern Mann.

Helen makes the entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, and on her retired podcast Veronica Mars Investigations, she and cohost Jenny Owen Youngs recapped both the BBC tv adaptation of Pride and Prejudice and the 2005 film adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.

Martin is a singer and composer; check out his songs via palebirdmusic.com or his Bandcamp. His very mainstream totally normal podcast is Neutrino Watch. And keep up with his pivot to video at instagram.com/MartinAustwick.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

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Hello! Here is this month’s edition of Answer Us Back, full of your feedback on AMTs old and new – mostly pretty new. On today’s menu:

If you’ve been storing thoughts about AMTs 1-412, send them to us for future episodes of Answer Us Back. And as always, send in your questions, in voicenote or written form to [email protected], for all new AMT413 which will be in your podfeed 24 December 2025.

Help to keep AMT going by signing up at patreon.com/answermethis, where highest tier gets access to our ENTIRE back catalogue, including the paywalled episodes, the special albums, the Bonus Bits of Crapp on the AMT App (RIP) and all the Retro AMT episodes.

Thanks to Naked Wines for sponsoring AMT, and for providing bottles straight from world-class winemakers, cutting out the middleman, delivered to your door. Head to nakedwines.co.uk/answer to get a £30 voucher on your first 6 pack, including free delivery. 

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Huge news! Skip over to Patreon.com/answermethis, sign up for the Sound Bag top tier, and you can get access to an RSS feed with ALL the AMT stuff EVER, including our entire back catalogue, our six themed albums, the retro AMTs, and every Bit of Crapp from the AMT App. AND, all tiers get an ad-free version of the new episodes, bonus material each month, and our live video trivial-question-answering session Petty Problems. Oh, and most delightfully of all, you patrons are funding the continuing existence of AMT, due to keep going through 2026, hooray. Patreonage is also available to give as a gift for the AMT lover or liker or tolerator in your life.

And here we have AMT412, wherein we ponder:

widow’s peaks
similar-named people using your email address
garlic
Birmingham’s Frankfurt Christmas Market
Birmingham’s many twins (we explained twinned towns in AMT170 btw)
dominatrices
Innocent Smoothie hats (there are patterns to knit your own if you must)
Pete Seeger’s least unsexy song – any suggestions?
increasing someone’s spice tolerance
Sabrina Carpenter’s song ‘Espresso’ ‘Pesto’
Christian Slater vs Leonardo DiCaprio
Harry Houdini fetishes
and
whether a homemade mix CD tape is definitely a sign of romantic interest.

Plus: Olly finds the opposite of porn; Helen’s marriage motivation becomes apparent at long last; and Martin chats with the other Martin Austwick, who is a sword man not a sound man.

AMT413 will be out on Christmas Eve and halfway through the month, there’ll be an episode our new feature Answer Us Back in your podfeed, full of your contributions to AMT questions recent and ancient.

Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to [email protected] or call 0208 123 5877 like the old days. Remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you.

Check out our other work:

Olly lists his work at ollymann.com, where you’ll find his several podcasts including his daily history show Today in History with the Retrospectors and his monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, which is celebrating its tenth birthday!

Helen makes the entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, and also recently was a guest talking about the British Christmas pop music canon on Arnie ‘Hello from the Magic Tavern’ Niekamp’s new podcast No Skip Christmas. And, you can watch her read the whole of A Christmas Carol with musical accompaniment from Martin on the Allusionist YouTube channel.

Martin is a singer and composer; check out his songs via palebirdmusic.com or his Bandcamp. His very mainstream totally normal podcast is Neutrino Watch. And keep up with his pivot to video at instagram.com/MartinAustwick.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

Thanks to Naked Wines for sponsoring AMT, and for providing bottles straight from world-class winemakers, cutting out the middleman, delivered to your door. Head to nakedwines.co.uk/answer to get a £30 voucher on your first 6 pack, including free delivery. 

LISTEN: Apple • Spotify • PocketCasts • MP3 • YouTube • Soundcloud • Amazon Music

Wake up, babe – a new AMT feature just dropped! Midway through the interminable month between new episodes, we’ll be doing an Answer Us Back episode that is all bits of feedback you send in about episodes old and new.

Today we hear from:

If you’ve been storing thoughts about AMTs 1-411, send them to us for future episodes of Answer Us Back. And as always, send in your questions, in voicenote or written form to [email protected], for all new AMT412 which will be in your podfeed 27 November 2025.

Also, join us for our fun Petty Problems live video on 16 November 2025 by signing up at patreon.com/answermethis; by doing so, you’re also helping keep the whole podcast going, so congrats and thanks for that.

H&O

Thanks to Naked Wines for sponsoring AMT, and for providing bottles straight from world-class winemakers, cutting out the middleman, delivered to your door. Head to nakedwines.co.uk/answer to get a £30 voucher on your first 6 pack, including free delivery. 

LISTEN: Apple • Spotify • PocketCasts • MP3 • YouTube • Soundcloud • Amazon Music

This month, questioneers want to know about:

getting attention at the post office
short beds of yore
sleeping sitting up
open top bus victory/loser parades
Emmerdale: Don’t Look Now! The Dingles in Venice
scales falling from your eyes (metaphorically)
snake-charming (content warning: cruelty to snakes)
not learning from your mistakes, amateur tattoo-wise
discovering you’re the biological child of the one of the most prolific sperm donors ever
and
trying to buy your neighbour’s house without looking too unscrupulous.

Coming up on 16 November at 22:00 UK time is the next edition of our video livestream series Petty Problems, where we answer your non-serious questions and you can chat with us while it’s happening – IF you’re an AMT patron, that is, for whose exclusive delight we do these videos. To become a patron, get on over to patreon.com/answermethis; and as well Petty Problems, you receive a monthly compilation of Bonus Bits, and an ad-free version of the episode, AND you’re funding the continuing revival of the show.

Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to [email protected] or call 0208 123 5877 like the old days. Remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next new episode will land in your podfeed Thursday 27 November 2025 so if you have festive questions, send them in now, or hang on for another year.

Check out our other work:

Olly lists his work at ollymann.com, where you’ll find his several podcasts including his daily history show Today in History with the Retrospectors and his monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, which is celebrating its tenth birthday!

Helen makes the entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, with a recent Four Letter Word season including one episode featuring Martin and another featuring Martin. 

Martin is always featuring Martin. Get his songs via palebirdmusic.com or his Bandcamp. And keep up with his Beatles covers project at instagram.com/MartinAustwick.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

Thanks to Naked Wines for sponsoring AMT, and for providing bottles straight from world-class winemakers, cutting out the middleman, delivered to your door. Head to nakedwines.co.uk/answer to get a £30 voucher on your first 6 pack, including free delivery. 

LISTEN: Apple • Spotify • PocketCasts • MP3 • YouTube • Overcast • Soundcloud • Amazon Music

Since AMT409 the Branaghniacs have has spoken, Ken is hot and so are the other entries on then 16-year-old Charlotte’s list of Sexy Old Men (as of 22nd January 2011)

We also consider:

who is the piggy in a piggyback
fibby wedding speeches
the fallibility of memory
rebrands
R*ss3l1 Br@nd (sorry)
cherry wine in songs
<Moira Rose voice> fruit wine
big paperbacks at airports
cancer the crab
TV character crossovers
cleaning swimming pools
Gwyneth Paltrow’s home spa
and
getting a friendship tattoo removed.

Plus: Olly is spitting feathers about WH Smith TJ Jones; Helen is haunted by a terrible moment from her stage acting non-career; and Martin the Sound Man knows a surprising amount about the St Elsewhere universe for someone who has never watched it.

Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to [email protected] – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next new episode will land in your podfeed Thursday 30 October 2025.

Paying patrons hear from us before then, though: not only will you be funding the continuing existence of AMT, you receive a compilation of Bonus Bits halfway through the month, and an ad-free version of the episode, AND our live video question-answering series Petty Problems tackling some some not so serious problems. Become an AMT donor at patreon.com/answermethis.

Check out our other work:

Olly lists his work at ollymann.com, where you’ll find his several podcasts including his news show The Week Unwrapped and The Modern Mann, which is celebrating its tenth birthday!

Helen makes the entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, with a recent Four Letter Word season including one episode featuring Martin and another featuring Martin. 

Martin is always featuring Martin. Get his songs via palebirdmusic.com or his Bandcamp. And keep up with his Beatles covers project at instagram.com/MartinAustwick.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

LISTEN: Apple • Spotify • PocketCasts • MP3 • YouTube • Overcast • Soundcloud • Amazon Music

At the bottom of the post are the photos you’ll need to picture Olly’s mum’s erotic occasional table with detachable stiffy, and listener Erica’s sweary embroidery and butt planter. Oh, and beware, the pics are NSFW unless you work at the Saucy Decor Factory.

We also consider:

Cheesecake Factory’s most ordered item
Cheesecake Etc
cooking slugs
gifts that the recipient asked for then never uses
those cow sculptures that are all through town
sextons
Torajan death rituals (CW for this link: images of death)
Spotify making you gnash your teeth when you just want to play an album
too many boules
not noticing that your home is full of clowns
and
how to own a cemetery.

Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to [email protected] – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next new episode will land in your podfeed Thursday 28 August 2025.

Paying patrons hear from us before then, though: not only will you receive a compilation of Bonus Bits halfway through the month, and an ad-free version of the episode, AND our live video question-answering series Petty Problems tackling some some not so serious problems. Catch up with previous editions and be ready for the next by becoming an AMT donor at patreon.com/answermethis.

Check out our other work:

Olly handily lists most of his work at ollymann.com, where you’ll find his several podcasts including his news show The Week Unwrapped.

Helen will be appearing at Nerd Nite in Vancouver on 10 September, talking about mysterious surprises in Scandi versions of Dracula – tickets are on sale here – and if you’re the kind of person who appreciates sweary embroidery in the home, check out the Allusionist’s Four Letter Word season. Some of the episodes are about swears; some are not; and a recent one featured a familiar special guest…

…Martin! Singing a new song about poisonous plants, which you can get from his Bandcamp, along with his other songs. And keep up with his Beatles covers project at instagram.com/MartinAustwick.

OK are you ready for the NSFW decor photos?

Here

they

are:

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

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If you found us thanks to the lobster face-piss that featured in the last episode, welcome! There is no crustacean face-piss in AMT408, but there is:

Willy Wonka’s factory but for stock cubes
airport massage chair hogs
business meetings with your spouse
what the art industry has in common with podcasts
Deely Boppers Bobbers
King Charles’s mucky gloves
tiara rules
private investigators
the Spy Store
and
the downside of being Lil Nas X.

Plus: Olly just needs either his father-in-law to allow him a nightlight, or to buy night vision goggles (prescription obv); Helen will go to the Tower before claiming King Charles is well dressed; and if you see Martin advancing towards you in your airport chair, preemptively get up and RUN.

Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to [email protected] – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next new episode will land in your podfeed Thursday 28 August 2025.

Paying patrons hear from us before then, though: not only will you receive a compilation of Bonus Bits halfway through the month, and an ad-free version of the episode, but you also get to join us for our live video question-answering featurette Petty Problems on 23rd August at 22:00 UK time (check your timezone). The previous edition was a very fun hangout, and we all got to weigh in on some not so serious problems – good neighbours, bad neighbours, a veterinarian finding some perhaps incriminating items inside a pet…

That video is still available to watch, and you should join us for the next one, by becoming an AMT donor at patreon.com/answermethis.

Check out our other work:

Helen and Martin just had a one-off piece on BBC Radio 4: Souvenirs, a tragicomic factual essay/musical thing, which you can listen to via BBC sounds if you’re in the UK, and if you’re not in the UK, here. You can also hang out with them IRL on the beach in Vancouver on 13 August at the Allusionist meetup. And, the latest in the Allusionist’s Four Letter Word season is a collab with Hannah McGregor about the word dino.

Olly handily lists most of his work at ollymann.com, where as well as checking out the many podcasts he makes and stars in, you can peruse the guest appearances he does, most recently a walking tour around Letchworth Garden City with The Story Pilgrim.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

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Behold! Rob the Balloon Artiste, who featured in AMT405, has only gone and done a balloon portrait of us after Marc Chagall’s painting The Promenade! A very impressive technical and artistic feat, as well as a pretty accurate likeness (Martin the Sound Man appears in the form of headphones).

So that’s exciting. As are AMT407‘s topics of inquiry:

lobster mating rituals
the lies of Phoebe from Friends
cartoon anvils
suncream smell
malepolish
Judi Dench at Disney World
refusing to be recruited to your coworker’s MLM
the inverse relationship at coffee shops between nice coffee and comfortable seating
stock cube variety packs
and
the AMT cut of Friends.

Plus: Olly delivers expert voiceover tips; Helen delivers dating advice from Andrea Silenzi of Why Oh Why podcast; and Martin delivers a charming song about animals that mate for life. MICE?!

Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to [email protected] – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you. Next episode will land in your podfeed 31 July 2025.

Become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis to help with the continuing existence of AMT, and to get an ad-free version of the episode, plus bonus material culled from the show, and our live video question-answering session Petty Problems.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

Olly is hosting a four-part BBC Sounds series about the building of a new Universal Studios theme park in Bedfordshire! Listen here. He also has his daily podcast Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com. 

Helen‘s entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, is BACK with a season about four-letter words; she and Martin are also doing a live show next week with Material Girls podcast (FKA Witch, Please) so get tickets at theallusionist.org/events. And their exquisite composition Souvenirs will be broadcast live on BBC Radio 4 at 16:00 on 22 July 2025, and be available online via the BBC thereafter.

Martin‘s other sounds include songs, available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his completed Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.

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If your neighbours want to set up a catering business but you don’t want them to waste their money because think their food is sludge, can you stop them? Should you stop them? We face this question along with other matters, including:

taking butter from a cafe
Popes learning Italian
Danish wedding traditions
morning suits
“pip… pip… pip… pip… pip… piiiiippppp” on the radio
“young, dumb and full of cum” in Point Break
David Bowie emerging from a church wall
and
dropping your phone into a toilet at a festival.

Become a patron at patreon.com/answermethis to help with the continuing existence of AMT, and to get an ad-free version of the episode, plus bonus cuts from the show, AND you get our new Entertainment Experience: Petty Problems, a live YouTube version of the show where we are only answering questions that are trivial, unserious, minor. And the best part is, because it’s live, and you can hang out in the sidebar chat, you can weigh in on the problems in real time – and if it’s your Petty Problem, give us instant feedback. It’s going to be fun! The first edition will be 10pm UK time on Sunday 15th June, so go go go to patreon.com/answermethis to sign up so you can attend, and pose us a petty problem.

Got questions for us? Send them in writing or voice note to [email protected] – remember to include the formula “Helen and/or Olly, answer me this”, and let us know a name (pseudonyms are fine) and pronouns to use for you.
Next episode will land in your podfeed 26 June 2025.

This episode is sponsored by Squarespace, the all in one platform for creating and running your online empire. Go to squarespace.com/answer, have a play around during the two-week free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, get a 10% discount on your first purchase of a website or domain with the code ANSWER.

Olly has a daily podcast, Today in History with the Retrospectors, and a monthly magazine show The Modern Mann, both of which you can find along with his other work at OllyMann.com. 

Helen‘s entertainment podcast about language, The Allusionist, returns in early May with a season about four-letter words; she and Martin are also doing live shows in Toronto on 1 June and Montréal on 9 June, get tickets via theallusionist.org/events.

Martin‘s other sounds include songs, available at PaleBirdMusic.com, his completed Tom Waits podcast Song By Song at SongBySongPodcast.com, and his experimental fiction podcast Neutrino Watch at neutrinowatch.org.