This week on Finding a Football Club, Luke Oddie and Will Herron put Jay Alexander-Ali on trial for crimes against footballing reality.

His misdemeanour? A claim so insane it suggests a carbon monoxide leak in his house: that Celtic are a top 10 biggest club in the world.

Luke and Will come armed with cold hard stats, UEFA coefficients, and a list of clubs ranging from Chelsea to Borussia Dortmund to dismantle the delusion.

Along the way, Jay invents the concept of 'Club vs Team' to move the goalposts, Will unveils his love for Boca Juniors, and the lads discover that Martin O'Neill is apparently the only manager who has ever existed.

Warning: Contains hazardous levels of bias and abuse towards Scottish football.