This week on Finding a Football Club, the lads search for loyalty in the modern game as they pay tribute to the unglamorous, long-serving squad players who basically came free with the stadium.

However, professionalism is at an all-time low. Will dials in from his phone having lost all his prep work, and Jay is missing in action after having a baby (congratulations to a man who refuses to listen to his own podcast).

The football chat quickly derails as Will announces Mark Noble’s 'honorary' Harvard degree, Roberto recounts impressing Tim Sherwood with his motorway knowledge, and Luke gaslights Will over Dean Windass.

Elsewhere, there’s a push for Shola Ameobi to receive national honours, Grant Holt’s inexplicable Italian gap year is uncovered, and Steve Harper’s career is finally reduced to a single, damning metric.

This time on Finding a Football Club, Luke, Will, and Roberto trawl through the atlas to build a starting XI of players from the world’s most niche footballing nations.

Expect discussion on the finest exports from Curaçao, Uzbekistan, and the Seychelles. Though, if we're being honest, it's mostly just an excuse to list former Wigan Athletic players.

The lads assemble a team that features a Filipino goalkeeper who played for Leatherhead, a midfielder from French Guiana who defied FIFA law, and the slowest Latvian in football history.

Along the way, Will drops a bombshell fact about Shaka Hislop working for NASA, Roberto tries to sneak a human trafficking victim into the midfield, and Luke tries to wrap the episode up in 50 minutes to avoid giving his wife a massage.

Just another episode then.

This week on Finding a Football Club, the irony meter explodes as Jay misses the recording of the Injury Prone XI due to… illness.

Left to their own devices, Luke, Will and Roberto scrape together a team of Greek Tragedies, ranging from Dean Ashton’s shattered ankle to Kim Källström’s broken back.

But let’s be honest, football is barely a suggestion. The lads discuss the sexual politics of Neymar’s family, Heston Blumenthal getting sectioned, and question if Luke Shaw has the IQ required to assemble IKEA furniture.

Plus, Luke reveals he’s in the doghouse for researching Craig Gordon’s medical history, Roberto brands Phil Jones a hundred grand a week corner-taker, and Will eulogises over Adriano’s transition from PES legend to ‘alleged’ favela drug lord.

This week on Finding a Football Club, the lads realise they technically own the RSS feed and can do whatever they want. So, football is out, and sitcoms are in.

With Will taking over hosting duties, the gang tries to agree on the Top 10 sitcoms of all time.

The quartet discuss the criminal record of The Thick of It’s cast, verify if Tiger Woods ever actually appeared in a certain sitcom, and Jay defends My Wife and Kids whilst Luke brands its fans "lobotomised pigs”.

It’s the entertainment special nobody asked for.

This week on Finding a Football Club, Luke is joined by resident Wolves fan Roberto and the artist formerly known as Will, who has undergone a disturbing rebrand to Sniggleberry.

The lads head to the Black Country to assemble the ultimate Wolverhampton Wanderers XI; choosing between Mick McCarthy’s ‘meat and potatoes’ era and the Jorge Mendes monopoly.

But, let’s be honest, the football is merely a suggestion. The gang discuss Wayne Hennessey’s connection to the Third Reich, the lubricating science behind Adama Traore's baby-oiled arms, and the time Jamie O’Hara tried to fight a 13-year-old boy at Leatherhead.

Plus, Luke defends his obsession with Leander Dendoncker, the lads investigate Joleon Lescott’s car crash history, and they ask the big question: Is Matt Jarvis the greatest table tennis nepo baby of all time?

Luke returns to the quizmaster’s chair, blazer freshly dusted, for the second edition of the FAFC Pub Quiz; welcoming back reigning champion Roberto, alongside challengers Will and Jay.

Because it’s the sequel, it’s longer, harder and darker.

Can you keep up? You’ll need to recall which way birds face on football crests, name Real Madrid’s 2014 Champions League-winning XI, remember the most expensive African footballer ever, and know how many American school shootings occurred in 2014.

Along the way, the lads learn that Hulk left his wife for her niece, Martin Jol’s brothers are called Cock and Dick, and Ryan Giggs starred in a Japanese tomato juice advert.

Leads evaporate, Chinese accents are enforced, and, as football always intended, everything ends with Emile Heskey.

This week on Finding a Football Club, squad depth becomes an issue as Luke and Roberto are left alone to name the best England XI of the 21st century.

With Will out sick and Jay ruled ineligible on account of being Scottish, the conversation immediately drifts into Stoke City’s Pulis-era war criminals, Andy ‘Fat Maradona’ Reid’s stag do antics, and an unprovoked drive-by on Karen Brady.

On the pitch, there’s debate over England’s No.1, who to pair with Gerrard and Lampard, and a tactical relapse to a mid-2000s diamond.

And then the episode ends... except it doesn’t.

In the hidden track, Jay joins having done completely different homework, unveiling a niche England XI restricted to Arsenal, Chelsea and Man City players. The lads also reignite the Celtic big club argument and brutally roast a rival podcast.

It’s (never) coming home.

Finding a Football Club continues its five-part descent into footballing civil war as Luke, Will, Roberto and the elusive Jay Alexander-Ali attempt to rank the Top 10 Midfielders of the last 20 years.

With all the lads present, order collapses. Luka Modrić is branded a crack addict, Luke suffers a meltdown over Toni Kroos’ placement, and Will attempts to sneak Mesut Özil into the top 10.

Along the way, the lads ask the big questions: Was Xavi boring? Is Busquets a fraud? And was Fabregas ever really elite?

Plus, a shocking revelation as Roberto casually reveals that his sister teaches Andrés Iniesta’s kids how to swim.

Midfielders ranked. Relationships damaged.

This week on Finding a Football Club, Luke Oddie and Will Herron put Jay Alexander-Ali on trial for crimes against footballing reality.

His misdemeanour? A claim so insane it suggests a carbon monoxide leak in his house: that Celtic are a top 10 biggest club in the world.

Luke and Will come armed with cold hard stats, UEFA coefficients, and a list of clubs ranging from Chelsea to Borussia Dortmund to dismantle the delusion.

Along the way, Jay invents the concept of 'Club vs Team' to move the goalposts, Will unveils his love for Boca Juniors, and the lads discover that Martin O'Neill is apparently the only manager who has ever existed.

Warning: Contains hazardous levels of bias and abuse towards Scottish football.

Finding a Football Club returns with another instalment in the quest to name the best players of the last 20 years.

This week, the lads turn their attention to the backline.

With Jay still in witness protection, it falls on Luke, Roberto and Will to rattle off the deserving (and not so deserving) names.

Along the way, they ask the big questions: Was Piqué actually that good? Why did Jay vote for a 35-year-old Cafu? Did Nesta really take the Canadian league by storm? And why does Will have a personal vendetta against Virgil van Dijk?