Finding a Football Club

This week on Finding a Football Club, Luke and his newly redacted co-host, the Sniggleberry, scrape together an episode after realising York City didn't actually play.

With York’s fixture against Barnet postponed due to a sudden influx of Caribbean call-ups, the usual expert post-game autopsy is on hold too.

Instead, Luke recounts rescuing two stranded Mancunians from Ben Nevis, Will shares his friend’s obsession with German women, and they try to work out which former Brazilian wonderkid now owns the Cobblers.

Plus, there’s a high-stakes round of 442 Goals, and Will desperately tries to edit his name from the show, after Luke might have got him fired.

The 135th best football podcast in the UK is back. This week, Will returns after a brief hiatus following Leatherhead FC, while Luke buys back some credibility by getting in on the York City merch action.

Trying to stay somewhat on topic, the boys briefly discuss York’s dominant 3-0 home victory over Gillingham, and launch a missing person’s investigation into the fan-punching cult hero, Hiram Boateng.

Plus, there’s perfume making, sperm whales, legal battles, 32-digit authentication codes, and candles dedicated to Owen Hargreaves.

We’re 135th in the charts for a reason.

The York City era hits a speed bump, both on and off the pitch. This week on Finding a Football Club, as Roberto adorns his newly purchased 1996/97 shirt, an upstaged Luke admits he missed the Chesterfield game after his car rolled off a jack in the rain.

The duo break down York’s 2-0 away defeat to Chesterfield, whilst also getting to know kitchen-fitter turned midfield maestro, Ollie Banks.

They get side-tracked by York City’s player ratings on FC27, Roy Keane’s true height, and two new addictive football games: 442 Goals and Higher Ground.

Does anyone know a good mechanic?

Fresh off York City's 4-0 demolition of Swindon, Luke and Roberto mark the podcast's milestone 50th episode by doing what the UK's 85th best football show does best: ignoring football.

After profiling the Football League's most in-form man, Alex Newby, and a Minstermen kit review, the lads pivot into the similarities between D-Day and naan bread, declare Club Brugge persona non grata, and unleash potentially libellous David Sullivan slander.

All before some jaw-dropping news: Luke is finally going to attend a York City match this weekend.

Happy anniversary to us.

Some fans bleed for their club; others forget they’re even playing.

Dialling in from France, Luke joins Will to review York City’s 2-1 victory over Exeter City and profile the club's gaffer, Scott Lindsey.

Elsewhere, the lads unpack their traumatic childhood talent show exploits, price up dwarf rentals, and plot to recruit a vagrant as their official Bayern Munich correspondent.

Plus, they victory-lap orchestrating a smear campaign to destroy a rival podcast, whilst realising York City are actually playing a live match during the final two minutes of the recording.

Professionalism is dead.

The York City era rolls on. This week, as Luke and Will man the fort, Will takes his commitment to new heights by unveiling a newly purchased £50 York City home shirt.

Now looking the part, the duo attempt to break down York's unbeaten start to the season, following their gritty 1-1 away draw with Rotherham United.

Elsewhere, Will uncovers an ingenious way to cheaply sponsor the club and discovers why Patrick Vieira’s Vicks VapoRub obsession would prevent him from playing for York. While Luke delivers a scathing review of his very first Marvel movie and recounts recently watching Benjamin Mendy play in the Polish Ekstraklasa.

Plus, Luke turns detective to see if his wife’s grandad actually played with Sir Stanley Matthews or just fixed his fridge.

The York City era is officially underway. This week, Luke and Will attempt to review York’s opening day victory over Bristol Rovers, despite neither of them actually watching the game. Thank goodness for the two-minute YouTube highlights package.

True to form, the elite football analysis is abandoned. Instead, the duo uncover their new owners' African Pizza Hut empire, wonder how to stay awake during Professor Brian Cox’s soothing documentaries, and Luke admits he was actually in York during the match, but chose to wander the streets doing a children's puzzle booklet instead.

Elsewhere, Luke is assigned MCU homework, Will might be having an affair with Luke’s wife, and the lads debate faking blindness to sneak a dog into a football stadium.

Up the Minstermen.

It’s time for the most important episode in Finding a Football Club's history. This week, Luke, Will and Jay officially select the podcast’s permanent team.

Armed with a dictatorial tie-breaking vote, Luke forces the lads through the 16-team bracket to whittle the lower-league contenders down to just one.

The search ends here. The gang have finally found a football team.

After more than a year of tangents, disqualifications and absolute nonsense, we’ve finally reached the point of no return. This week, Luke and Will dust off their finest blazers and break out the ping-pong balls for the official Last 16 live draw.

The mechanics are simple. Will has a classified numbering system for the remaining clubs, Luke will blindly pull numbered ping-pong balls, and that will reveal the matchups. Crucially, this draw locks in the bracket for the entire route to the final; there’s no turning back.

With everyone returning next episode to vote on the ties, Luke also takes a moment to establish his new dictatorial voting powers: in the event of a tie, his vote officially counts as two. Democracy is dead.

Remember, the ultimate winner will genuinely become the lads’ football club for the rest of our lives (... or at least until an annual review).

This week on Finding a Football Club, the hunt for a new lower-league team reaches its ruthless business end.

With Bolton, Harrogate and Barrow unceremoniously disqualified for having the absolute audacity to get promoted or relegated, a handful of 'Lucky Loser' spots have opened up in the Last 16.

Burton and Shrewsbury have already filled two of them. Accrington Stanley are currently locked in for the third, but their place is under threat. Bantam fan, Kane Bethell, has 30 minutes to change Luke’s mind and steal the spot for Bradford City.

Along the way, the lads discuss how Bradford dominates the serial killer charts, post-match shawarmas, Leeds-Bradford airport bragging rights, and how Kane’s sister rejected a homeless Dynamo.

If Kane’s pitch is successful, Bradford will earn a whopping 6.25% chance of actually becoming the podcast's new club. The stakes have literally never been lower.