Seeking other people’s approval to do anything in your life is like holding yourself hostage by willingly giving someone else the key. You’re allowing them to decide whether you are freed or not. I have 5 tips to help you overcome approval-seeking behavior & lean less on others over time.

Show Notes:

Seeking other people’s approval to do anything in your life is like holding yourself hostage by willingly giving someone else the key. You’re allowing them to decide whether you are freed or not. And this is something that happens over & over & over again. 

Constantly seeking approval from others, whether it’s making a decision, validating a thought, how you look, discussing the choices you’ve made or are going to make, it all revolves around people-pleasing & approval-seeking behavior. It also demonstrates a lack of confidence in yourself because you are constantly leaning on others to decide for you.

Here are some quick examples of how this could come across in everyday life:

• You let other people’s opinions dictate your choices
• You struggle to set boundaries with others
• You bend the truth if you think it won’t be positively accepted
• You don’t do things because you are in fear of other people’s responses & opinions
• You’re afraid right before you need to tell someone something important to you

I want you to ask yourself why you need the approval. If you are unable to come up with an answer, here are some questions that should lead you to an answer:

• Do you find it necessary to be approved by others to be ready to take over something/take on another role?
• Do you find the people you spend time with influencing you to be a certain way?
• Were you constantly criticized at some point in your life & this has led to your need for approval?
• Do you feel like you have to be a certain way to exist in your life?
• Do you fear being rejected?
• Do you have anxiety & fear that something will go wrong if you decide on your own?

I want to also make it clear that by seeking someone else’s approval you are not also seeking their respect. If you were only seeking their respect, there would be boundaries in place of what you would or would not do & you would still abide by your own thoughts, feelings, opinions & decisions. 

It’s also important to note that by spending all our attention on being accepted & being liked, we lose who we truly are. 

Today I want to share with you some tips on how to overcome approval-seeking behavior because constantly seeking external validation will not make life better or easier, but actually harder because there will always be a new challenge for you to live up to with others, rather than leaning on your own decisions & desires.

1. Be Honest With Yourself (are you doing this for you? Is this something you want?)
2. Embrace Failures & Mistakes
3. Accept that Rejection is a Normal Part of Life (you can’t please everyone, so at least please yourself)
4. Release Negative Self-Beliefs
5. Start Trusting Yourself with Small Decisions

Thank you again for listening & I hope this episode was helpful.

Come visit me on my Instagram page @sabrinajoyperozzo to say hi or on Clubhouse @sabri

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