Are You Thriving?

Let me ask you a question. Are you thriving? This question is especially important to those of you who, like me, went through a divorce. It is also important to those of you who have been single longer than you had planned. Have you learned to enjoy being and thrive as a single? Or, do you wake up almost every single day despising the fact that you are single?

Are you a single person who is trudging through your day and waiting and hoping to find that special someone? Or, are you thriving and living every day to its fullest? The answer to this question is important because it affects the quality of both your single life now and your married life later.

Single Again at Forty

When I found myself single again at the age of forty, I hated it. When I saw others remarry after their divorce while I stayed single year after year, I hated it even more.

But, by the time I remarried I had been thriving as a single again, long-term single adult for quite some time. It wasn’t that my situation changed and then my outlook got better. My attitude changed first, well before my situation changed. That timing is critical.

Thriving While Single

Makes Singleness Better

Hating being single will not get you married one moment sooner. You will be just as single for just as long whether you are or thriving or trudging. In fact, hating being single will drive you to make bad decisions and lead you to try to force things. It is usually the people in a rush to get into a relationship who make the biggest mistakes and suffer the most heartbreak.

Just Imagine

Imagine, just for a moment, that you can be happy while you are single. How does that change things? Could you maybe relax a little and not be so worried about when you will marry? Would it take some of the pressure to find somebody off of you? Could it make you more desirable as a date or as a spouse because you don’t come off as desperate or pushy?

Thriving and enjoying your life as a single person will improve your emotional health, your physical health, your datability, and your chances of having a happy marriage.

Once you can catch that vision of thriving as a single person, you can settle in and begin to make the changes necessary to be your best self. The goal of your life should not be to get married or even to be in a relationship. It is okay for a having a great marriage to be a goal, but not the goal. If your primary goal is to become the best you you can be, your secondary goal of being happily married will be a lot easier to reach.

Thriving While Single

Makes Marriage Better

I have said this in previous blog posts and I will say it again and again in future posts – your best chance of having a happy marriage is to first be happy as a single person. If you are unhappy as a single person, you will, more likely than not, be unhappy as a married person. Marriage does not cure unhappiness. It simply gives you a different set of things to be unhappy about.

But, if you and someone else go into a marriage as healthy, happy, whole, thriving individuals, you have an excellent chance of having a happy marriage. View your single years as a time to grow, mature, and become. This is the time to get deeply rooted and grounded. Then, when you get married you have the benefit of that growth and maturity to help sustain you in that relationship.

The work you do now as a single person will in large part determine your success as a married person.

Thriving While Single

Starts Now

If you are a struggling single, now is the time to change. Your attitude is the place to start.