Breathe deep, Dear Listener! That sweet scent is the fecund seed of spring (or, as we here at Instead Of HQ like to call it, humping season). Yes, your hosts have had sex before, so we recognize all the trademark signs of the season: The birds are humping, the trees are humping, and the sex dolls are washing up on the world’s shores. So plug up your nose, pop in those earbuds, and listen as: Tapan pulls off a Parker-esque double crossover, Mike avails himself of a virgin Arnie, and Officer Jeff Swears he doesn’t know anything about the animal blood.

Pairings: A cop sandwich; Pepsi Min; sex