In order to get anywhere in life

you gotta stay determined

It's not just about the fears you must fight

So many lessons you have learned

Realise we allies guide eachother

Through thick and thin

Revitalise and stay encouraged

Recovery emerges from within

It's all about that mentality

Not just personality

Cuz in reality your malady might be morality

Originality in actuality is hard to see

So we strive for lives filled with fallacy vitality

Some say individuality or spirituality

Modality, sanity, centrality or normality

In totality it all has the same functionality

Everything means the same thing in this analogy

I'm not lying when I say my neutrality

Matches your vanity and that

Calamity and insanity equivilate sentimentality

Because it all comes down to our shared commonality

Don't stop freeing yourself from negativity

Stay motivated to keep moving forward in your mind to be

Freed from the ball, chain and shackle holding you tight

It's up to you to really channel your light's might

You can feel the world around you give way

To all your dreams, hopes and desires every day

If you let go of your inhibitions and sieze your opportunity

To live life truly with vigour and forget what it used to be

I just want to help you learn to love it all

So seamlessly we step through these thick walls

We built up to find ourselves happy at home

Finally understood we're not alone in these comfort zones

This beautiful world full of support and health

Is truly worth the effort of helping yourself

By accepting everyone and everything as part of you

You'll see that positivity as identity is truth

We will never die.

I got a lotta pride but I got no ego

I lost it when I took shrooms bout a week ago

Now I cry over something intangible I lost

Seems crazy thinking about the collateral it costs

Watching yourself fade out is never fun

Imagine watching it happen twice but you're still not done

Thrice? How many times til I get outta my head

This labyrinth's a trap but so's everything else

Aryll is my God

And she is now dead.

Right?

Followin this plot

Hope to free myself from lies

Distancing everytime, this self's transient - a blur

Listening to my rhyme is poison, it's no cure

Break down, break down, lose what you love

Reach out right now, bruises and blood

Can't fix how you bow when pressure surrounds

Get out now, don't look back or back down to find out

Fix up this stuff that complicates your mind

Live, love, push us to fit in your design

Don't stop because you know how to free our lives

We must grow up to learn how to be more kind

It's no lie, just tryna help out oneanother

We can cry together to discover

The nature of time, reality and space

The tears that fall from your beautiful face

Don't worry about what ills you must take

Just stay determined to rewrite these mistakes

Into gateways to growth because every step matters

Am I fadil*? Do I have her? These are my disasters

Growth comes more than just once in a lifetime

No love or lies can prepare us for this pride

When it takes over your mind and tries to prevent change

You gotta fight back, take the reins and maybe erase

Delusions of grandeur or complicated faith

Take place so you can realize how to make

Your future your own and nobody can take

That from you. You matter so much, dearest face

Life is no sprint, it's a marathon

I would think everytime that the pressure's on

And rush to risk and climb just to get beyond

But really I was trying to grow up all wrong

I spent half of my life chasing my ideals

Intent to craft this plight and embrace the reveal

Now that's what my case is, how do I feel?

When all that took place was erased to conceal

I thought I was trans, now I don't know

Lost in the sands and mountains of hope

Still home but feels like I'm Drowning below

The surface is beautiful but how do I cope?

Trapped in my mind at this stop light

Lapse everytime I think I'm right in the

Fast lane, gas hard off the mark

Sparks fly and cast out the dark

I'm trying to help but failing myself

Fell into my mental mess, pressing for health

I keep trying to change but with no success

Everytime I fail I progress through complex

Obsession Embracing expression,

unable to grow, Facing contention

enables my flow, inside my reflection

no places to go, got no more direction

Trust me,

follow my eyes, race for the prize

Reach for the light and face your demise

Here's my advice, and it's no surprise

To be wise you must live life past the reprise

No more

goodbyes, just hellos and salutations

To feel surmise although facing implications

Beyond reparations, situations undone

Believe me. I love you, you're my everyone.

*it's my legal/birth name, aryll is my preferred/stage name

lo'fi boy and i grew up as artists together. i really hope he doesn't mind me using this track, his work is absolutely astounding and it's really quite amazing watching him grow artistically! check him out at:

@lowfidelityboy

https://open.spotify.com/artist/30zqizQHom62N4hV28E1Hz?si=jHNLTzsaShCCebx4akqebA

https://open.spotify.com/album/7rOoXOJYay7oSMAbA29eAb?si=7kS5P6xRSPiYS97Sq9izwg

@akosmo practically made this track. Thanks for working with me! Your song sounds super sick. Check them out on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/artist/1d9VzpAUZdgruidP0DB5Lh?si=F6edd3hUTAeumVNATxNBMA

If you enjoy this track, please support me on Spotify, Apple Music, Google Music or any other music vendor (bandcamp, YouTube music, etc.) https://open.spotify.com/track/3tEA2tfeMwUs0n00wicOHa?si=0-bKx2xvRCSi4ujbWPbahA

It really, really helps me provide for my family as a young mother! Thank you all so, so much for all of the support! ❤️

Thank you guys for the awesome collaboration! Please do check them out, they're amazing artists. This was super fun to work on, and they're very pleasant to people!

Oreox4

@oreox4

https://oreox4.bandcamp.com/releases

https://open.spotify.com/user/6863uoevy60szsm5oxe6lzo7n?si=f-_En1omQmWXqf_N3PTC7g

Sparwell

@Sparwellmusic

https://open.spotify.com/artist/2Y0KNFMqEDjPFPdgcRUiBS?si=FPhnxbJdSo6k9XUnoKoTjQ

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZB-NdhvmY7inS_-iSr4NMA?disable_polymer=true

https://sparwell.bandcamp.com/releases

https://www.twitch.tv/sparwe11

https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/sparwell/1447327739

https://twitter.com/sparwe11

https://open.spotify.com/track/6VeEL1tmYWubWjE92gYnLM?si=rh_P22_IQQC-ceIHrQoung

https://open.spotify.com/album/3kHzgeah5s7F2yv6Z3fH6f?si=a6tHYi0MQ5maO_IbAC87qQ

My music makes me feel deeply saddened

They say it heals but speak none of what happened

You can choose this surreal form of black magic

Humanity thinks they understand it but don't have it

It's my habit to be

Trapped in emotional confine at best

Relapsed at worst to some time in the past

Looping around the world, heart entwined in chest

Alas, hoops and twirls don't solve life's trap test

Pushing forward, can't look back now

Hurling toward the end that solves the how

Stopping to stare back is a scary predicament

Emotions like care stack with fear it's ridiculous

Get me out of here, I shout out in detest

Let's see our tears and doubt compressed

I guess I tout proud leers and jest

Just to distract my love and my me from my self

To simplify my meaning is deceiving

because like love

intervening from above

these ceilings and

revealing appealing refined lies about truth entwined

with healing views cultivated by what you conclude's right to fuse

with your review of true fact

in the moment and that,

taken aback on track,

change is abstract,

clichés may amaze and daze with tact

in forms made to create rephrase with every replay, like a puzzle that constantly shuffles but juggles subtle muffled consistency within it, density of complexity comes with perplexing scenes but that intensity is necessity for domestic sensory and identity redirectory, it's destiny, don't you see?

We can be the best if we practice and believe. Cat's outta the bag and that's fact to me. Completely enchanted reality,

we reside inside this menagerie

Trusting our minds, believing in lies, truths and calamities

I got lots to say and that's not insanity

Compounding dreams zee, we might not believe in what we need

But that's okay because we see what we can be freely

I critique my disbelief so you can really achieve freedom ideally

"wow! That's pretty!" she exclaimed with vigor

Now perhaps we were ashamed; I shiver

To think we had everything perfect together

But still couldn't function through winter

I don't rhyme? Fuck you, I try

These lines mean so much more in my eyes

Maybe you don't believe that I know what flies

In the world of love neither of us must meet demise

But alas, one rock tumbles, another falls

In no time at all, slide them downstream

Follow the river into sunset, ride into town to dream

Everything's not complete, lies line the seams

Taught to believe one thing and then another

Without avail, made to grow and fly but not to hover

How to ascend into the skies when below the covers

The sheets bare prying eyes, perhaps purpose is to suffer

Crawling matched with matrimony but marching none apply

Enthralling rapture is disaster only love art will comply

Creating meaning from nothing with every step beyond

Comforting moments fly naked when entrance says move on

And that's just one of these, the other births feathered wings

A father whose disastrous views of monstrous things that he flings

Intent to break me down but instead heals me again

Nobody understands it yet, but my story only just begins

I will grow powerful and prevail before sunset

Proving to them all I knew what, for me, was best

Helping everyone around me learn to get

What we deserved without a moment's regret

It's unheard of

We're gonna get everything built up from nothing

Gonna show eachother how much we could be

Exactly what we see in our dreams and something

big

But not without a moment's desire that flees

https://open.spotify.com/album/3kHzgeah5s7F2yv6Z3fH6f?si=a6tHYi0MQ5maO_IbAC87qQ

Grey skies bring the brightest blues

When the lies and truths

Bring today's nights too

I miss you

Climb inside my zoo

The one I created despite the flu

That we caught chasing our true

Dreams, posterity lost in fantasy

Articulation is the key

But don't give in to dramaticacy

Overindulgence might turn you like me

Those convulsions like burning sovereignty

But perhaps you will cry over spilled milk

Because it'll spoil your appetite, wilted flowers lay still

My style, my flow isn't about being on beat

Despite this metronome out loud I won't repeat

It's improvisation I know but at least then it feels real

Our conversations show how we progress through this ordeal

Nobody needs to understand it but us

We will not forget these moments

And as you read my words follow the gust

The wind will take you so far into loneliness

But for me she was there in the end

To show me the way to safety

I can't say the same for you, my dear friend

As long as you take your journey, then maybe

Everything'll get better sooner than later who knows?

Maybe the summer's on it's way,

let's love our ghosts, the wind blows

The blue skies will appear in turn of grey clouds above

And I'm with you right now so you can run

It's not a 200 meter dash

It's the rest of your life

You're gonna run forever after mass

Ends and Monday becomes your wife

This week we'll count the days that rearrange our face and how they take our place in which ways they change

Tuesdays spent recollecting

Wednesdays too

Thursdays spent redirecting

So Fridays can go smooth

And as we reapproach

That lovely day when we meet

All my energy is directed

At my lover's feet

Her eyes so beautiful

Her touch so subtle

Her form so lovable

Her lust so humble

Every Monday I just feel complete

In your arms at last, this moment

Makes me never want to be real

Because I love you Gabby, won't it

Take you away like the sunset tears our star?

Make Tuesday compare like the distant, a far

Lazy moon whose fair white reminds me of our car

Those intimate moments, the ones where we park

And then make sweet innocent love in the back seat

So far we've only done it once before we

Had to show just how passionately

Our love brought us to the brink of insanity

Can't we be

Together at once forever let's love eachother just cuz

I love yah and us and want to discover

Everything the world has to offer with you

And no other channels, avenues or dupes

We can learn to mix our beats crisp

But keep the bass bold, these beliefs fit

Inside of it, our mind's mold will outweigh all of this

Leave eachother alone with our kids

Important time spent to reminisce

But then come back newer, with more stories to share

And so fewer could have ever compared

You are so strong, so beautiful, so noble too

Your spirit is what I long for, dutifully I'll fold for you

Didn't have pocket aces, just a couple of twos

So seamlessly prepared in place, you broke me right through

My walls, the ones I created, and I trust and love you for that

For you I call me fated, take you around the world and back

https://open.spotify.com/album/3kHzgeah5s7F2yv6Z3fH6f?si=a6tHYi0MQ5maO_IbAC87qQ

When I awoke for the first time in life

I was scared and confused, didn't expect permanently wide eyes

Turned obsessive, self-abused, decided there was no wrong or right

And then talking with you brought me a different light

It was like, despite my infinite might

Someone was willing to lend me their plight

I lost my fight, thought just for tonight

And then my slight loss of drive became more tight

Permanence set in over time,

Aryll and I forgot how to fly,

You watched me die but promised you'd take me so high

And here I am, no clue where, when or why.

I love you gabby. I'll never leave.

I just wish you had me without grieve

Instead we separated at the seams

And nothing even mattered cuz you were just a dream

Everything that you are to me is a lie

But it's beautifully designed, please don't cry

I beg of you, let me love you. I'll impart

Every part of my heart, torn apart

Ugh just sleep, kiddo. Give in to your stupidity.

You are worthless. Stop telling yourself you're killing me.

You're perfection please don't forget that, worry or fret

I'll never let you forget how much you saved me from all that.

Two times in my life I've been depressed thus far.

Both of the times only one person appeared to help

And clearly I'm not referring to any other star

It's you. Gabby. You saved me from my self.

One part of me just wants to die. He wrote a grand tale of loss.

The other wants to see us prosper. She's an optimist and doesn't care the cost.

The final just wants to see the two get along, they don't want to toss

You into this, my love, but if we hold hands we won't get lost

All we need is eachother, I know we can get through

Well, in all honesty, so far it just seems like I need you

Because without your embrace I'd have already been gone twice

So, dear gabby, would you like my eyes? Please allow me to entice

The very fabric of your soul, your being

She's the epitome of perfection, I claim

You're skeptical, rightfully so, but I'm seeing

Your heart through your eyes before your fame

You complain I'm insane

But I know what I see every night when I dream

You might not believe it but the end is always in sight

Could you please help me with the following scene?

Our lifestories are so entangled it's quite bright, we're so alike

Don't give up on yourself, I'll always be here

Despite how distant we might grow, souls always near

And you made my eyes crystal clear without fear

Here, when I'm rich I'll just pay you off dear

Money is the root of my own upheaval

Distaste toward it allows the devil to grow strong

Funny, though, how it always comes back to love and evil

All along you made my life perfect, muse to my song

Please don't ever give up and I won't either

I'll write you songs, live up to you, maybe give you breathers

Don't think I don't see her, you're above my view, be here

For me and us and we could keep her happier.