What if “not feeling it” isn’t a problem to fix—but a valid orientation?

This week, AASECT- and Ante Up!–certified sexuality educator Aubri Lancaster joins me to unpack the rich, nuanced worlds of asexuality and aromanticism—far beyond the usual myth-busting. Aubri shares her path from hosting adult toy parties to discovering her own asexual and gray-romantic identities, and how language finally gave shape to experiences she’d had all along.

We explore the difference between sexual, romantic, sensual, aesthetic, emotional, and intellectual attraction; why micro-labels can be liberating, not limiting; and how self-identification helps people set needs, boundaries, and find community. We also touch on insights from the Asexual Community Survey, the fluidity of orientation over a lifetime, and the social pressure to make ace experiences “palatable.”

If you’ve ever wondered where you fit on the spectrum—or how to better love the people in your life who don’t center sex or romance—this conversation offers clarity, compassion, and a bigger, kinder vocabulary for being human.