June 07, 2021

Ask Yourself This Question and Radically Change Your State | Vicky Johnson | David T.S. Wood

1 hour 21 minutes

The world is struggling with a mental health crisis where very few people realize genuine happiness. Victoria Johnson—the Director of The Museum of Happiness—runs a nonprofit social enterprise where they share the science and art of sustainable happiness. Their mission is to provide people with tools as a preventative measure to alleviate suffering in the world. Listen to this episode of My Extra Mile with David T.S. Wood to learn more about Victoria’s mission—and the path she took to find genuine happiness.

You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in...

The factors that lead to genuine happiness
What Victoria’s experience in Cambodia taught her
How the path to happiness begins with acceptance
Reflect on three things you’re grateful for each day
The one sentence that can help calm you
Why the brain sabotages success and happiness

What Victoria’s experience in Cambodia taught her

Victoria volunteered at an orphanage in Cambodia where there were 52 children—the happiest children she’s ever met. They’d been through severe trauma. They’d all lost their parents. Yet they had a sense of togetherness and community. They got up every day and meditated, did yoga, and played outside. There was a lot of love. Victoria’s experience at the orphanage inspired her to work at a youth organization when she returned to the UK. She was struck by the mental health challenges the young people in the UK were facing.

In Southeast Asia, there was a rich sense of cultural values. Their culture was built around being grateful, meditating, and doing yoga. Buddhism was strong. People had to trust in their faith. They were connected to one another but also connected to something higher. Victoria found that unless they were connected to a religion, the youth she was working with dealt with a spiritual disconnect.

So Victoria started learning about positive psychology. She learned about gratitude practices and trained as a mindfulness teacher. She had an inner transformation. Then Victoria started implementing gratitude practices with the youth she worked with. She started doing meditation and yoga with them. She began to see the same transformation in them. Their lives were the same, but they were able to carry the heavy loads more easily.

The path to happiness begins with acceptance

A lot of people aren’t genuinely happy. Victoria believes it’s because people don’t know how to navigate their own thoughts and emotions. People think that those difficult thoughts and emotions are the “bad guys.” But they’re just trying to keep us safe. To combat this, you have to find ways to care for your mind and do things that make you happy. What are some ways you can do that?

Victoria says to write down three things that you’re grateful for. It releases happiness in your brain. She emphasizes that you must be very specific about three things that have happened in the last 24 hours. Why? Reliving the thing that you’re grateful for brings them back to life. It fires up different parts of your brain and hardwires it in a different way than verbalizing it.

Secondly, ask yourself: What do I need to take care of myself today? How can I be kind to myself? Victoria emphasizes that “You are an important project that needs time, attention, love, and kindness.” There are so many myths that it’s selfish or self-indulgent. But you’re a better colleague, friend, spouse, etc. when you take care of yourself.

Understand the brain to understand your feelings

The brain is wired for survival. It’s an overactive threat responsive system doing its best to keep us alive. Victoria notes that you must learn to make friends with your mind. When you do that, you can rewire your brain to be happy. Victoria believes that you can be the attacker and the attacked—or you can be the soother and the soothed.

The things that you say to yourself and the tone of voice that you say it in can activate your threat system. But when you soothe yourself, it relaxes your whole nervous system. What would a wise and kind friend say in this situation? You must learn to speak that way to yourself. Listen to the whole episode for more about Victoria’s path to happiness—and how the rest of the world can do the same.

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