Asking for me: a podcast of questions

What is spiritual abuse? Why does it seem so prevalent and whose fault is it? Who gets to say what abuse is or isn't? Join us as we talk about what we've learned and seen and experienced in the first of the discussions on Spiritual Abuse in the Church. 

What does gender have to do with the gospel? Why do some of us make a big deal about the four women named in Matthew's account of the birth of Jesus? Is there significance to the gender roles society has seemed to instill for millenia and is there something to be said for how women have been treated throughout history in our interpretations of the bible and the inspiration and encouragement we receive now from what we know about the story of God's people?

Transcripts available on our blog at askingforme.org

"And the reason why we don’t have Bathsheba’s name in this passage very much, the reason that she’s referred to as wife and woman more often is because this is a story about an abuser. This is a story about David who abused his power.

He abused his physical power, his spiritual power, his social power. He abused his power that he was given to rule and reign righteously. It is a story about an abuser."

To read the transcript:

https://askingforme.org/2024/12/08/advent-3-about-uriahs-wife/

Throughout scripture, we see God saying, care for the widows, care for the orphans, care for the poor, that if we have the resources to care for widows, orphans, poor, and anyone who cannot care for themselves, and if we have those resources and we don’t, we are no longer on the side of justice.

We are no longer on the side of God.

To read the transcript at askingforme.org

https://askingforme.org/2024/12/01/advent-series-2-restoring-ruth/

Listen in on these sermons from Advent and you'll hear it. Truth and Justice for the oppressed and hope for the women who bore the marks of abuse and shame.

To read the transcript of this episode, visit our blog at

https://askingforme.org/2024/11/19/advent-series-1-tamar-the-more-righteous-than-judah/

Looking back, these sermons by Rob were a crucial turning point for both Rob and Robin. Through digging into these stories of the women in the Bible, they couldn't help but see the parallels to modern day cases of abuse that they personally experienced and were watching unfold for far too many others in church ministry. These sermons and discussions that Rob and Robin had over the months of November and December of 2022 during the Advent and Christmas season were truly the movement of the Holy Spirit of Jesus calling them to follow His leading no matter where they might go. It cost them their jobs, many friends and colleagues, their reputations, and their home. 

Asking For Me was born out of the searching for Robin and other friends in ministry, trying to make sense of the stories we were hearing and experiencing firsthand, and re-commiting to truth and justice instead of shallow performative peacekeeping (peacefaking) and cover ups of abuse.

A quick few thoughts on forgiveness and a brief review of some of Tim Keller's book Forgive.

False performative peace is a plague on the church. Forgiveness is often a demand that leads to false peace and unity.

NOTE: A full transcript is available on the website if you prefer to read it.

CW/TW: Suicide and hell

Please also note there are occasional dogs barking and emergency sirens in the background at 0:30 seconds and 5:00 and around 11:10, later on. I tried to edit most of it out. If that bothers you, I am so sorry. I will also post the transcript if you'd rather read it. I totally understand.

The summary is this: all suicides do not go to hell. It is not biblically sound doctrine and a hateful theology. God loves you. I deeply believe it.

More to come...

Eugene would like to apologize for being a bit raw and unfiltered in this recording. He says he was in a mood. We loved every word and hope you do too!

Eugene is an ordained minister with over 25 years of experience in local church ministry. For 17 years, he played an integral role in growing a church from its early stages into a thriving, multi-location community. However, recognizing the need to rethink traditional models, Eugene discerned that it was time to step beyond the familiar and reimagine what it means to be and do “church" from the ground up. He left his pastoral role in 2020 to establish New Wine Collective, a church innovation think tank and R&D lab.
Since founding New Wine Collective, Eugene has been learning, ideating, and convening conversations about the evolving spiritual landscape and future of the Church. He speaks, facilitates, and consults with churches and organizations interested in exploring change and innovation, all while remaining a pastor at heart who loves walking alongside people in their journeys. Eugene’s passions lie in systemic change and designing new ways of being the Church that can help heal the world and give everyone a place to belong.

Eugene grew up in Queens, NY and Seoul, Korea, and now lives in the Boston area. He loves hanging out with his three children, enjoying good food, cooking, and watching Korean dramas with his wife.

Read more about New Wine and other initiatives:

Our website: newwinecollective.org

Threads, Facebook, Instagram: @eugenepkim

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The 2nd conversation in the series on leaving the church is with Timothy Cho, a former PCA member. Abuse of spiritual authority in the church is one of the most cited reasons for many leaving evangelical spaces as more and more stories of harm and confusion come out from the pews.

For more on Timothy's story and info on his new initiatives:

timothyisaiahcho.substack.com⁠

https://www.instagram.com/tisaiahcho

and his COFFEE!

https://www.mosaiccolumbus.com/

Join our conversation with Reverend Laura Tarro at Bethany Covenant Church in the suburbs of West Chicago. Tarro is a church planter with Evangelical Covenant Church, a denomination that celebrates and promotes female pastors and church planting. 

Visit our website for more information about resources for women in church planting and more.