In Latin, the word “Assess” means “to set aside.”  I love that.  In the context of dialogue, to set aside means to suspend. To wait on. To hold off for a minute.  Assessment is listening. It offers us an opportunity to truly offer our hearts and our attention to one another.  Assessment isn’t just getting ready to make a decision nor is it merely a collection of data. It first is a process of just being with somebody, as you’ve experienced in the three segments.  And in that context, we are suspending judgement. We are only there to receive. In the spirit of “to set aside,” we are placing our predispositions and our interpersonal histories on a brief hold.

Assessment is fundamentally a process of listening.  Within this context, we assess with our presence.  We ask the questions, “What is being said, and why"?  Assessment is more evaluation than calculation.  You begin with the mindset of offering assistance and support to the person bringing you their concern, their issue or their problem.  I want to quote directly from the book, Concrete Marshmallows and the Home Sweet Home Café, “The meaning in our work is to be of service to another.  Part of being human is the ability to assess needs and offer our help when needed.  All we have to do is identify the kind of assistance that will do the most good.  That’s the nature of “assessment.”  You can’t rush this.  

A good assessment demands focus and more than a little patience. It keeps you with that person as long as necessary to truly get a sense of what they need.  This includes the effective and meaningful use of one question: “How can I help you"?  It isn’t just a throw away line to begin the conversation.  It comes from my heart and elicits the information that you need to help someone.  It is the fundamental sentence of “assessment.”  And then you listen to what you're being told, not to the voice in your head preparing what I want to say.  I have to the confidence in myself enough to know that, when the time comes to speak, I’ll know the right words because I listen in order to assess. 

What we’re talking about here is allowing somebody to know and experience your essence…while you’re offering your assessment, you have to be visible.  They have to see you.  They need to know who you are.  And when you say, “May I help you?” you have to put yourself out there.  You offer somebody the opportunity to accept your gift of assistance, of kindness, with gratitude.  It makes them feel better. They appreciate it and it brings them closer to you.

Think of it this way:  When you’re “assessing” the beauty of your child, you’re leading with your heart.  Acceptance is a prerequisite offering of attention, and cognition of difficulties or questions about information comes a moment later.  When you assess, you do listen, but your attitude is one of setting aside pre-judgement and withholds the possibility of too quick of a conclusion without appropriate investigation.

For more information on Ed and his services visit  https://www.acoachforyourheart.com/