Astro Banter

6

Episode 4

Episode 3

Charlie Sloth]

Okay, right, here we are

Charlie

Yup

We're about to take them to the chocolate factory

Why, why are you hitting me with the fat jokes for?

I'm not say - I'm just saying sort of - very sort of Oompa Loompa vibes going on, you know?

Oh

Ok, right, so, drill

Get into my drilly meditation

Wow

Drill gods, be with me

Is this happening?

I should probably say, shoutout to my friends in prison, shouldn't I?

Okay

Shoutout to Martin and Tabitha, currently in the pen for tax evasion

Damn

Free my jiggas!

Mad

Mmm

[Verse: Unknown P]

Riding 'round in the Rover

If I see opps then it's over

I'll send man straight to Jehovah

When I take shots like M. Sharapova

Doing up tennis

Call man Dennis, I'm a Menace

Doing up olives in Venice

Big man ting, I'm bigger than Ben is

Stop it

Otherwise Unknown P might bash man's head straight down like a Bop It

So make like a Freddo and hop it

Your girl is four foot four and got bare hair on her toes like a Hobbit

If I see her in the club then I'm doing up AJ, the way that I weave and bob it

And I'm not from Homerton, not from Hackney

So I never go East, 'cause bare man try spot P like acne

I'm from Surrey where me and the mandem always go hunting

And the gyaldem are thick like Theresa May on a real big bum ting

19 Hunna on the new rusty, had a gap year in Kenya, came back with the feet so dusty

Still waking up to geese in country, and I never have porridge at nan's because it's oh so lumpy

And if opps wanna throw some hands then I just draw for the pumpy

Look at me, I'm Unknown T, I've got braids and a deep voice

And when I bend my back and then dig it, I really hurt my knee joints

Got a song called "Throwback", but my girl got no back

Mmm

And if you wanna talk Unknowns, then you better talk P, just know that

[Part II]

[Intro: Unknown P & Charlie Sloth]

Ok, so this next one is a little bit of a "marshup"

A what sorry?

Like a "marshup", like all of my greatest hits for all the mandem to sing along to

A mashup

Yeah, like a sort of, S Club 7's best hits but slightly more violent

Wow

Anyway here we go

[Verse: Unknown P]

Mmm, see a goose and I smack it, whack, whack, pull up, skrrt

Feathers, bang, poor thing gets made to a jacket

Get the camera out then pap it

When it comes to the shank (Steups), all my brothers know how to back it

Got a ten out of ten out of ten, now that's a hat trick

Listen, Unknown P, five foot three, posh drill rapper MC

Bare MC wanna pull up on me but I live in Brockley SE23

Shaking man's hand like Paul Hollywood

If Mary was younger then I probably would

Bare MCs say their life is a movie, Unknown P says it's more Nollywood

Cooking up in the AGA, got new wellies, Balenciaga

Park my yacht inside the harbour, blue or white, would you rather?

Same ish different day, same hits, different Ye

Unknown P didn't come to play, here's what the posh boy has to say

I was raised in Surrey

Where mandem were never in court unless they were doing backhands like Murray

Yeah, Unknown P, I'm a posh boy, not Ashley but I am a top boy

Been doing this ting since birth, that's right, I was doing ten toes in the cot, boy

And even as a yute in nursery, I had opps in the boot of the Merc-y

And if I let them go and showed mercy, had a man give me thanks like turkey

Mmm

Now I make hits like conkers, get dizzy on the stage and the crowd's going bonkers

Girls say "P man I want ya", I wanna sweet one like the one in Willy Wonka

My girl got a peng face, your girl need to cover up just like Kwengface

Big man, M Huncho, raised in the country, never been cunch though

Boasty, bars on power looking all ghosty

If you ever mess with me and the broski, make short work of a man like Loski

Bad manners, you were raised in estate, you man never had manners

And I don't bust guns, 'cause why bust guns when I got trust funds

Two gloves and a flat cap, about ten G's in the backpack

The world is an oyster, so is your nan 'cause Percy would certainly tap that

[Outro: Unknown P & Charlie Sloth]

Give me a little bit of somethin

The Startup to a brand new season of Astro banter!

Series 1 Finale!!!!!!

Danny Ings

Its Friday

Fun Friday

FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL,FOOTBALL!!!!!