At Home with Autism

Mom is a big New Kids on the Block fan and usually goes to lots of shows when they tour. Jakob has never gone with before...but he says he's ready!

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Jakob wants to talk about a lot of things this trip...planning his 21st Birthday Party, if he'll be drinking alcohol, and the shooting in Uvalde. Light stuff and heavy stuff and a mom who's just trying to navigate important topics that he definitely wants to discuss.

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He brought home a flyer for a Fishing Derby. This is what a conversation sounds like when I'm not sure if he does or does not want to do something. This is what unreliable speech sounds like and what I do and to figure out what he's thinking and feeling and wanting.

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A couple things here...you never know when Jakob's funny bone might get tickled. But when it does, it sticks and the funny thing will get talked about for a long time to come. Something happened at Disney that he still gets a kick out of. And he sings his favorite song from Willie's Roadhouse...you can't miss that!

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Jakob is so excited about his trip to Florida to compete in the Dance Worlds with his hip hop team, Velocity. He talks about all the things he can't wait to do, what he's bummed about missing, and where we'll be staying. It's so great to hear him so enthusiastic...which he actually is most of the time. Happy guy.

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It was a year ago when Jakob's grandparents got sick and we lost his grandpa. Whenever something sad or hard or upsetting happens, Jakob worries about it happening again. And he needs to be assured for days, weeks, moths, years, that it won't. And these conversations can pop up anytime...

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Some days are harder than others. While I have no doubt that he has the words he wants to say in his brain, getting them out is just hard. That's apraxia. When the answer won't come, he'll say "I don't know" or "that's it" or "a lot". It's just what comes out when he really wants to say something else. The long pauses happen and I see him trying to find the words. At one point I ask him about what songs he dances to...he says "I don't know" and I wait for a few seconds. Then I ask him what his favorite song on the radio is and he ends up answering the first question. He works so hard...

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Jakob talks about his hip hop group as they prepare to go to Worlds in Orlando. He has much to say and you can hear him try to get it all out. Communication has always been our greatest challenge and he continues to give his all to be heard.

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Jakob has always been a Charmin guy...now we find out why...

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As we talk about our first year in business, we have a few moments where I wait...and wait...and wait...for answers. I know that he has these answers to my questions in him, it just takes awhile for him to get the words out. I love these long pauses that give him the opportunity to be heard. It's not often that he's given this opportunity...well-meaning people fill in the blanks, make assumptions, or just disengage. It's a lesson in listening and a great reminder that I need to do more of it...

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