Atomic Heart

100 Side B - Big thanks to those who contributed to this ten years ago: Fan club members Ginice Chow and Marie Jost + Recording artists Brenda Lo, John Woo, and Eliza Chan.

Soundtrack: American Pie / 追族 / 不羈的風 / 側面 / Thousand Dreams of You / 癡心的我 / 想你 / 何去何從之阿飛正傳 / 少女心事 / 誰令妳心癡 / 只怕不再遇上 / 春夏秋冬 / 怪你過份美麗 / 我願意 + intro piano bit by Janice Crunch

100 Side A - I don't know how I got here but here I am. No poems to share today, just a stroll down the memory lane with Leslie. The stars have lined up and I have nothing else to give you. The feature was my initiative, produced in 2013, my first year working full-time at RTHK. As for Atomic Heart, it's my baby, my sanctuary, but I'll be away for a bit. The century is a good place to pull back and regroup. Please check in again come autumn, when the weather is cool again and the urge to spin becomes irresistible. Long sleeves and scarfs and all. Can't wait. I post stuff on IG every now and then @AtomAlicia

099 - Tables are laid out for the speaker who's been given pictures of another speaker he thinks he's supposed to know. I wonder how long we can play this and still find it interesting. The horse kept moving in Emma Jeremy's 'the horse could die'. I followed with a draft of my own as the excavation of poetry from fiction attempts that went nowhere continues. I mentioned last week's reading. My poems are set to appear in Where Else: an international Hong Kong poetry anthology. That's the link to pre-order. Super thankful. Other than that, the weather here remains crispy, as is my I don't know what. This is Atom Alicia C. Thank you for holding space (while I hold my breath into the next century). I don't know how you got this far, you dreamspeak sputnik.

098 - The other night I wanted to tell a story. The next morning I decided I didn't want to. Do you tell it, or do you keep it drifting on the surface of your heart ocean? I bring you 'Instructions' by the Irish poet Eavan Boland. I follow that with a quick angry draft of my own. This is Atom Alicia C. I'll be reading at the Hong Kong International Literary Festival this weekend. Thank you for holding space for my process. 

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097 - On being in more than one place at a time as well as not following the news. What if the first bird I see outside my window becomes the headline of my day? On this detour into 'not being there', I give you Mary Ruefle's 'Receiving News of the Devastation of My Mind' from her book Trances of the Blast. I also share my latest draft, two sections of a longer poem excavated from past attempts at surrealist, plotless fiction. This is Atom Alicia C. I don't know how I got here but I thank you for holding space for my process. 

096 - Because fear is a four-letter word. How did we get here? What are some things that have always been there for us? Featured poem: "Some Roads in Iowa" by Jill Osier from the collection From published by Bull City Press. I also read a revision of my poem "Seventeen". My headspace is dominated by poetry and a desire to weave my own. This is Atom Alicia C. Thank you for holding space. 

095 - How he's been living outside his body since his seventeenth year and how that sounds in a poem amongst other ponderings including what to say to someone if you like their poem and read it out loud without asking their permission. This is Atom Alicia C. Thank you for holding space for my voice.

094 - Tuning down the self-doubt while working on the texture of my poetry. Three frames and a poem excavated. A bit more rambling than usual. Must be the cold of January. Bliss. This is Atom Alicia C. 

093 - Back on the chariot. At odds writing about writing. If only to deliver this messy middle as authentically as possible. Tiny steps, inches off the ground, infected by the bubbly warmth of progress. Bliss. This is Atom Alicia C.