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Why do you love the way you do — and why does it sometimes feel so hard?

In this episode of The Unengaged Podcast, Kodie and Kay break down attachment styles and love languages through a psychological lens, blending science, personal stories, therapy insights, and real-life relationship experiences.

We explore:

• The four attachment styles (Secure, Anxious-Preoccupied, Avoidant-Dismissive, and Fearful-Avoidant)
• How attachment styles are formed in childhood and shape adult relationships
• Why you can’t change someone just by loving them
• How anxious attachment shows up as overthinking, reassurance-seeking, and emotional intensity
• The connection between attachment styles and love languages
• Why two people can share the same attachment style but love completely differently
• How physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time, and gift giving regulate the nervous system
• How awareness turns attachment wounds into relationship superpowers

If you’ve ever asked yourself:

• “Why do I overthink everything?”
• “Why do I crave closeness but fear abandonment?”
• “Why does my partner love differently than I do?”
• “Am I asking for too much — or just asking in my language?”

This episode is for you.

🎧 Take the tests, listen along, and start understanding your patterns instead of repeating them.

• Official 5 Love Languages® quiz — Love Language Quiz (5lovelanguages.com)

Free 5-minute attachment style quiz — Attachment Style Quiz (AttachmentProject)

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