As you look around at your fellow human beings, you’ll find it hard to ignore the fact that very few people are happy, fulfilled, and leading purposeful lives. Most of them seem unable to cope with their problems in the circumstances of daily living. The majority, settling for the average, have resigned themselves to just getting by. Resignation to mediocrity has become such a way of life. As a result, feelings of inadequacy cause them to blame society, people, circumstances, and conditions outside of their control. Their failures and their disappointments are all caused by something other than themselves. The idea that other people and things control their lives is so thoroughly ingrained in their thinking that they normally will not respond to logical arguments that prove otherwise.

Wrapped up in this belief statement is the dynamic truth that we’re not victims but co-creators in the building of our lives in the world around us. Or, said another way, we aren’t what we think we are — but what we think, we are. To think that our lives are controlled in any other way, by any individual, group, or society, it imposes a condition of mental slavery, which makes us a prisoner by our own decree.

Our thoughts become our reality. They’re our blueprint, which attracts from our subconscious mind all the elements that go into fulfilling our concepts. Whether they be positive, negative, doesn’t matter. What we have in our lives right now is the outward manifestation of what is going on inside of our minds. We have literally attracted everything that has come to us in our life. Good, bad, indifferent, sad, success, failure, doesn’t matter. This includes all facets of our experience, including business, marriage, health, or personal affairs. Your surroundings, your environment, and your world all outwardly project what you think about inwardly.

We’re talking about capturing your “How” Advantage — my good friend and business performance expert Ryan Estis kind of coined this phrase. And when we first started talking about it, I said, “What the hell is a ‘How’ Advantage?” The simplest and easiest way to define a “How” Advantage and to capture it is to focus on being remarkable consistently.

And so this whole idea of good — your experience, your product, whatever it is, who you are — is it so good that I have to tell someone about the experience? And so I challenge people, and I’m like, “When was the last time you had an experience with a brand or a service provider that was so good that you had to tell someone about it? Better yet, when was the last time you created an experience for someone that was so good they had to tell someone about it?”

And I show up every single day thinking about that question. Every interaction with my clients, am I showing up in such a way that they have to tell someone about this, about working with me? And it’s an elusive goal, right? It’s a challenge and a goal that you wake up and you try to chase every single day, but you’re mindful of it. You’re mindful of it when you get the email request about another document, or another thing that they need or want, or that they need you to rewrite. And in your mind, you just want to not respond or to give it half your effort, but you say, “This is a moment. This is an opportunity right here to elevate the experience, to create that ‘How’ Advantage.”

X-ers are in a really interesting place in that they are in kind of what I call the X-er Squeeze. They’re a squeeze generation between these two massive groups: 80 million boomers and roughly 80 million millennials.

A smaller group, they’ve been waiting in the wings of boomers, forever waiting to step up into these key leadership positions, and now they’ve got this wave of millennials who are like, “It’s my turn. I want a seat at the table.” And X-ers are kind of like, “Dude, slow your roll.”

And so if you’re interacting with X-ers, if you’re a baby boomer, you’ve got to find places to delegate to this generation, to let go of the reins, especially in family businesses. Step back and let them have an opportunity to step up and put their stamp on things. Don’t hold so tight to the idea that we do things this way because that’s the way it’s always been done and that’s how it is. You’ve got to let them mix it up.

And if you’re a millennial, you’ve got to be conscious of that. Maybe you’ve been waiting five or 10 years for your chance. You’ve been working for that period of time. But you’re talking to an X-er who’s like, “Dude, I’ve got 20 years.” So be conscious of that. Be cognizant of that, so that they have a chance to really put their stamp on things.

For baby boomers, I would say a trend that I’m noticing is there is a group of boomers who have kind of fallen into this category of what i’ll call “They’ve retired without telling you.”

They are not incredibly inspired right now, they’ve been doing a particular job for a period of time, they are kind of going through the motions, biding their time to be able to retire.

They’re going through the motions. What I say to people is that if you are managing or leading, a younger person managing a baby boomer, don’t write them off. I think we’ve got to think about the idea of reigniting the flame with many of these boomers. They just need to be reinspired! They need to have someone poke them and push them and say, “What do you want to create in the next however long your stretch is that you want to work? You want to work another three years or five years? What do you want to create? What do you want to do or change? Let’s figure it out and help you find a way to bring that to life.” They need somebody to say that to them. So watch that whole idea of baby boomers having retired without telling you. Reinspire them, get them fired up about what they do.

The bottom line in leadership isn’t how far we can advance ourselves but how far we can advance our teams. Think of the total number of team members working with you and ask yourself this question: How have you intentionally advanced those team members in helping them identify and pursue their personal, professional, and financial goals through performing at the highest level possible in your business? To help collectively create the highest magnitude of impact in your business for what you choose to do?

Is it an intentional act? Are you intentionally aligning your people with the goals and obectives of the business? Do they feel that alignment? Or is the business about you and what you accomplish, and they are just there to support you?

How are you inspiring them to do things bigger, better, and more significantly, so that they’re more impactfully working for you? How do you develop them? How do you attract those people and give them a vision and a perspective that says, “I can pursue my goals and my dreams and my aspirations and my personal growth desires through this organization by working collectively with my teammates and with the business owner that I’m following”? And then how do you relate them back into the value of the business?

This is why personal, professional, and financial goals are so important. The whole purpose is to align an individual’s passion and joy, their purpose for life, with your purpose for your business — your passion, your joy. And when people know that you’re going to make their priorities your priorities, they’ll make your priorities their priorities.

Those who can’t do can’t really teach. But those who can do can lead and show others how they change in order to create a more impactful result.

First, learn to influence yourself. Be that living example. Don’t do it because you have the title of business owner. Don’t do it because you have the title of manager or director or vice president. Titles alone give you no power. They only represent your ability to either influence through your experiences and your actual intentionality with your team or through title, dictatorship. “Do it because I told you to, not because I am going to help you do it to attain a higher level of success like I’ve been able to accomplish myself.” That’s influence.

You can’t grow and develop your business to the highest magnitude of impact if you can’t use your influence by example through others, challenging them to challenge themselves the same way you did as the highest example in the organization. And that, my friends, is what influence is all about.

The true test of leadership is held by your ability to impact and influence others to do things they otherwise might not do. And therefore, anyone and everyone in any organization at any level has the power to be a true leader, by helping and influencing others to succeed.

Everything rises and falls on leadership, that’s what John Maxwell says, and it is true in all we do. The true measure of leadership is influence. Your leadership effectiveness is directly relative to your ability to influence others, and it’s earned by example, not title.

You have to first have the internal fortitude to influence and inspire yourself to believe higher. The higher you believe, the higher you will reach. Then once you believe at the highest levels possible, you then put the energy and effort into learning to do what you need to do in order to magnify and amplify at the highest levels possible your magnitude of impact through operational effectiveness.

Change is not easy. In fact, the more you try to grow to become better at what you do, the increments become that much harder. If you can’t influence yourself to grow through trial, tribulation, and error, by having an open mind and reaching further tomorrow than you did today and really pushing yourself to grow — then how can you expect yourself to be an example to others?

Today we’re talking about the law of curiosity. Growth is stimulated by asking why. The single greatest difference between curious, growing people and those who aren’t is the belief that they can learn, grow, and change. That’s it in a nutshell. Those who believe they can learn, grow, and change, and who believe it with all their heart, go out and look for solutions and look for answers for growth.

Think about this: Have you ever dealt with someone who already had all the answers? I think we all have, haven’t we? But what happens when I already know the answer to the question? And what happens when I stop asking the question? It sounds like this: “How do I grow my business double or triple?” versus “I’m only going to grow 10%.” “How do I create million-dollar producers or providers?” versus “I can only do half a million dollars.” So when you start talking to somebody, you can very quickly understand whether they have established a low level of belief about what they can attain or whether they are on a quest to elevate their belief. When I deal with any business owners, I ask very simple questions. In the past three years, how many million-dollar providers have you created in your practice as associates? Very few people have the answer to that. In fact, very few people have said “I’m a million-dollar provider.” Now, contrast that with someone who says “I’ve created five million-dollar providers.”

Wouldn’t you want to know how they did that? Wouldn’t you be curious if it could be done? Wouldn’t you ask a lot of questions as to how they found the people, how they trained the people, how they developed the people, how they incentivized the people? Wouldn’t that be the list of questions, the primary focus of your exploration into how to do it yourself? Or are you going to sit back and say “I tried that and it didn’t work”? What about your employees who will tell you these things can’t be done, or we tried to do that but it doesn’t work? Did they ever think to ask whether they did it right in the first place? Did you think to ask the question “I wonder if, when my employees tried something, they did it right in the first place?”

See, the law of curiosity says you’re always asking how, when, where, who, and why. These are natural questions; when you ask them about everything, and you quantify those things, you end up with process and programs and systems that work. But when you take an emotional approach to it — which is “Tried it, doesn’t work, doesn’t feel good, not going to do it” — then it’s guaranteed not to work.

What kind of people would you attract into your organization if you had the credibility, and reputation, for taking people who are inspired to do great things with their life, hiring them, and developing them so that they can attain a greater level of success by working with you because you took a personal interest in their development? And because you took a personal interest in their development, they took a personal interest in your business. By taking a personal interest in your business, they take a personal interest in the people you serve. They treat them like they treat their own family. Is that the type of environment you’d like to have in your business?

That it’s hard to get people who are inspired to do extra things that you don’t have to tell them to do? Or is it your belief that you’re going to attract high-thinking people, highly appreciative people. You want amazing employees? Have a belief that you can attract, develop, and inspire amazing employees. You want to grow your business significantly and more impactfully? It is an absolute guarantee you can! You want to have a business that gives back to you in direct proportion to what you invest in it? No problem. You want to have a business that can function and grow without you being there? Done deal. You want to have a team of people who are so inspired and so overwhelmed with the opportunities you give them that they bring all their phenomenal friends in to help you build the most dynamic organization in your community, becoming the category killer? Absolute guarantee you can do it. What is your level of belief about what you can attain and how you attain it with your team?

Gallup polls says that out of 100 million Americans, 70% of them who were surveyed in 2013 were either actively disengaged or disengaged at work. That means the core energy out of the 100 million who work, only 30% care about what they do. The question is how do you harness the power of your people to help you create an amazing organization?

Let me tell you, if you don’t make it an absolute priority to surround yourself with the best people, with the best intentions, then it is a struggle building your business — a struggle for you and a struggle for them. And when you take two groups of people, you and your team, and you bring them together with a core purpose, a core objective, and a core agenda — which is to significantly improve the quality of each other’s lives through what you each choose to do together — that’s where power comes from.

Your total success will be amplified and magnified through the total number of people you find who will allow you to add substantive, impactful value to their lives, so they can add substantive value to the lives of the people they care about. And when you have that kind of culture, when you have that kind of organization, when you have that kind of focus — enriching the lives of the people you serve, your employees who ultimately serve your customers, that becomes your culture. If you don’t exemplify how to do that each and every day in everything you do, you can’t expect your people to exemplify it each and every day in what they do.