In this episode, Dr. Angelica and Coach Amanda discuss stress patterns and the “shame and blame beliefs” that we automatically protect if we don’t notice them. We talk about how wanting to please others is "fawning," rebelling against orders is "fighting," and most people start believing things about themselves and other people on their way from "fawn" to "fight." 

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Do psychics and tarot readers enter your algorithm whenever you are stressed out? And what does this have to do with becoming vigilant and evaluative with your partner during stress? We discuss when your feelings determine your beliefs on this episode.

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#MagicalThinking #Neurodiverse #Relationships #Psychology #SelfAwareness

Ever felt judged on a first date? Or a first conversation? Or was a little too open minded in swiping right on a matching profile? Let’s talk about those thoughts and what they reveal about toxic patterns. In this episode Dr. Angelica, clinical psychologist, and Amanda, relationship coach, discuss how matching and dating can be full of red flags, and how to avoid being bait for the more dangerous externalizing attachment styles like the trainer, dictator, rescuer, and puppetmaster. They explore why you might override the ick from questions like "Tell me something interesting about yourself," connecting professor Jennie Young's Burned Haystack Method with Dr. Angelica Shiels Attunement Method on Attachment Styles.

Recognizing potentially toxic communication patterns early can save you a lot of heartache, and keep you safe. We dive into the red flags that often go unnoticed in profiles and messaging conversations, especially in dating apps. Those little cues can tell you a lot about someone’s emotional maturity and attachment style.   

So, pay attention if you don't want to be bait! Knowing what to look for can help you safely navigate your dating life.   

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Download the Attuned - Relationships App on Apple or Android   
Schedule coaching with Amanda
 
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We talk about the “evaluator” thinking-brain that 40% of our app users have. This means you think for yourself, are an active, vigilant thinker, and you orient to details.  This brain’s control system is capable of fixating, drawing conclusions, and not filtering instead of shifting, prioritizing, or releasing a thought, and if this is extreme, I’m curious whether this was conditioned to be vigilant/independent and/or if you were born with high IQ or ADHD. We also discuss so much more like mindfulness and sonder coaching.


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Download the Attuned - Relationships App on Apple or Android for hundreds of hours of coaching customized to you by Dr. Angelica
Schedule coaching with Amanda

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High conflict couples need nervous system regulation before communication skills. Communication skills are useless until you're able to put your oxygen mask on. We're Dr. Angelica and Coach Amanda, and together we've founded the Attuned - Relationships app to support you through all the layers of understanding, grieving, and healing attachment styles. The app is based on years of coaching couples with Dr. Angelica's Attunement Method, decades of clinical work, writing, and evidence-based research. 

Watch & subscribe to this episode on YouTube
Download the Attuned - Relationships App on Apple or Android for hundreds of hours of coaching customized to you by Dr. Angelica
Schedule coaching with Amanda

SUPPORT THE PODCAST

Rate & share on Apple

Send us your questions or comments by emailing  [email protected]

Follow Dr. Angelica & Coach Amanda on Instagram and TikTok