Audio Tidbits

Samuel Johnson told us that the chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken; and John Dryden added that ill habits gather by unseen degrees — As brooks make rivers, rivers run to seas.

The truth of it is that Arnold Bennett got it right when he said that habits are the very dickens to change. Abigail Van Buren was also on point when she added that a bad habit never disappears miraculously. It's an undo-it-yourself project. Of course Mark Twain was also there, egar to join in, "Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time."

Naturally, St. Augustine had a wise caution for us, "Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.;" and as we would expect, Mark Twain inserted his take here on putting too much stock in saints and wisdom, "To have nothing the matter with you and no habits is pretty tame, pretty colorless. It is just the way a saint feels, I reckon; it is at least the way he looks. I never could stand a saint."

"Habit is a man's sole comfort. We dislike doing without even unpleasant things to which we have become accustomed," according to Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. We already knew that habbits are sticky and not easily abandoned so aren't surprised that Georg Christoph Lichtenberg added that habit might be described as a kind of moral friction — as something not allowing easy passage to the mind, but rather so binding it to things that to work loose from them is difficult. A Spanish Proverb puts it like this, "Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables;" and Horace Mann like this, "Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it."

As much as there is to say on the side of giving up our bad habbits, Eng's Principle advises that "The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change;" and bad habbits are definitly hard to change. At least mine are and I suspect yours are too, so we don't want to stop short, without reminding ourselves that habbits are not without virtue. Frank Crane said that habits are safer than rules; you don't have to watch them. And you don't have to keep them, either. They keep you. Well that may not be quite the virtue we had in mind so let's leave it with this from William James, "Habit is thus the enormous flywheel of society, its most precious conservative agent. It alone is what keeps us all within the bounds of ordinance, and saves the children of fortune from the envious uprisings of the poor."

Now you know so there you go.

Listen to this little tune for two minutes and forty-nine seconds and don't keep running the chorus past your mind once you have finished listening. I couldn't do it and bet you can't either.

Listen to this little tune for two minutes and forty-nine seconds and don't keep running the chorus past your mind once you have finished listening. I couldn't do it and bet you can't either.

Listen to this little tune for two minutes and forty-nine seconds and don't keep running the chorus past your mind once you have finished listening. I couldn't do it and bet you can't either.

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." -- Edward Everett Hale

A similar sentiment was expressed by William Penn "I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." Your best strategy over the long-haul is to understand where people want to go and help them get there. You do this by talking with them about what aid and support they need from you and being sure they get it. It may seem more expedient to charge full-speed-ahead and others be damned; but being too self-serving ends up, in the long run, serving no one. Your success is best served by helping others succeed.

The glitch is that, no matter how well-intentioned, your offer to help is usually turned down or the response is, "I will let you know." If you sincerely want to help, do not ask what you can do to help or wait to be asked. Think about what the person's problem is or what they want to accomplish and then do something helpful. Proactively helping is most always much more helpful than help that is merely offered though it does take a little more time, a little more thought, and a little more effort. "Did that help?" is often the best question you can ask. As Sunshine Magazine pointed out, "He who gives when he is asked has waited too long."

The famous Anon. had a particularly pithy way of emphasizing the importance of being proactive with others, "Being good is commendable, but only when it is combined with doing good is it useful." Albert Schweitzer and William James respectively joined the help when you can, wherever you can chorus. "Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him;" and "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." Perhaps the last word on it should go to George Bernard Shaw who said, "This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

Now you know so there you go.

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." -- Edward Everett Hale

A similar sentiment was expressed by William Penn "I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." Your best strategy over the long-haul is to understand where people want to go and help them get there. You do this by talking with them about what aid and support they need from you and being sure they get it. It may seem more expedient to charge full-speed-ahead and others be damned; but being too self-serving ends up, in the long run, serving no one. Your success is best served by helping others succeed.

The glitch is that, no matter how well-intentioned, your offer to help is usually turned down or the response is, "I will let you know." If you sincerely want to help, do not ask what you can do to help or wait to be asked. Think about what the person's problem is or what they want to accomplish and then do something helpful. Proactively helping is most always much more helpful than help that is merely offered though it does take a little more time, a little more thought, and a little more effort. "Did that help?" is often the best question you can ask. As Sunshine Magazine pointed out, "He who gives when he is asked has waited too long."

The famous Anon. had a particularly pithy way of emphasizing the importance of being proactive with others, "Being good is commendable, but only when it is combined with doing good is it useful." Albert Schweitzer and William James respectively joined the help when you can, wherever you can chorus. "Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him;" and "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." Perhaps the last word on it should go to George Bernard Shaw who said, "This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

Now you know so there you go.

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." -- Edward Everett Hale

A similar sentiment was expressed by William Penn "I expect to pass through life but once. If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again." Your best strategy over the long-haul is to understand where people want to go and help them get there. You do this by talking with them about what aid and support they need from you and being sure they get it. It may seem more expedient to charge full-speed-ahead and others be damned; but being too self-serving ends up, in the long run, serving no one. Your success is best served by helping others succeed.

The glitch is that, no matter how well-intentioned, your offer to help is usually turned down or the response is, "I will let you know." If you sincerely want to help, do not ask what you can do to help or wait to be asked. Think about what the person's problem is or what they want to accomplish and then do something helpful. Proactively helping is most always much more helpful than help that is merely offered though it does take a little more time, a little more thought, and a little more effort. "Did that help?" is often the best question you can ask. As Sunshine Magazine pointed out, "He who gives when he is asked has waited too long."

The famous Anon. had a particularly pithy way of emphasizing the importance of being proactive with others, "Being good is commendable, but only when it is combined with doing good is it useful." Albert Schweitzer and William James respectively joined the help when you can, wherever you can chorus. "Wherever a man turns he can find someone who needs him;" and "Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." Perhaps the last word on it should go to George Bernard Shaw who said, "This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."

Now you know so there you go.

"It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what you are doing is nice, it will be immediately evident." -- P.J. O'Rourke

The idea seems to be that good manners can and often do cover up the proverbial multitude of sins. As Arthur Schopenhauer put it, "Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax." It may quickly distort or otherwise transform reality. What seems sincere may merely be the latest example of Abel Stevens' observation, "Politeness is the art of choosing among one's real thoughts." The point is that in an effort to "be nice," candor can easily take a backseat to what Emily Post described as "a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others." The desire not to upset or offend takes priority over the responsibility to be honest and straightforward.

Of course, W. Somerset Maugham did say, "I don't think you want too much sincerity in society. It would be like an iron girder in a house of cards." And Lord Halifax said, "A man that should call everything by its right name would hardly pass the streets without being knocked down as a common enemy." The conclusion follows that there is an appropriate, middle ground between total honesty and bad manners. One should find that balance between excessive rudeness and being unnecessarily impolite on the one hand and knavery or excessive dishonesty on the other.

Are you tempted to agree with this argument? If so, you are probably aligning with the polite majority of people who behave as if the choice is between candor and insensitive rudeness. When it comes time to choose, they generally lean toward avoiding being seen as rude or as having bad manners. The result is that they are often dishonest, at least somewhat. Personal integrity is partially sacrificed to the god of good manners. When you are thus tempted, Cesare Pavese's observation is worth considering, "Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference."

Perhaps the real issue isn't your honesty, your integrity, or your manners. Rather, it is your discomfort with how you fear others will react to you if you actually say what you think, accurately express your feelings, and practice the candor you profess to value so highly. Often the issue is dealing with the bad manners of other people. As Gabirol put it, "The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones." the famous Anon. expressed the idea this way, "Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are;" and F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "It's not a slam at you when people are rude - it's a slam at the people they've met before." The best conclusion is that there is never a good excuse for bad manners and that "situational integrity" isn't integrity at all. Calmly and respectfully stand up, speak up, shut up, and sit down and then politely listen, making it immediately evident that you indeed are nice.

Now you know so there you go.

"It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what you are doing is nice, it will be immediately evident." -- P.J. O'Rourke

The idea seems to be that good manners can and often do cover up the proverbial multitude of sins. As Arthur Schopenhauer put it, "Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax." It may quickly distort or otherwise transform reality. What seems sincere may merely be the latest example of Abel Stevens' observation, "Politeness is the art of choosing among one's real thoughts." The point is that in an effort to "be nice," candor can easily take a backseat to what Emily Post described as "a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others." The desire not to upset or offend takes priority over the responsibility to be honest and straightforward.

Of course, W. Somerset Maugham did say, "I don't think you want too much sincerity in society. It would be like an iron girder in a house of cards." And Lord Halifax said, "A man that should call everything by its right name would hardly pass the streets without being knocked down as a common enemy." The conclusion follows that there is an appropriate, middle ground between total honesty and bad manners. One should find that balance between excessive rudeness and being unnecessarily impolite on the one hand and knavery or excessive dishonesty on the other.

Are you tempted to agree with this argument? If so, you are probably aligning with the polite majority of people who behave as if the choice is between candor and insensitive rudeness. When it comes time to choose, they generally lean toward avoiding being seen as rude or as having bad manners. The result is that they are often dishonest, at least somewhat. Personal integrity is partially sacrificed to the god of good manners. When you are thus tempted, Cesare Pavese's observation is worth considering, "Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference."

Perhaps the real issue isn't your honesty, your integrity, or your manners. Rather, it is your discomfort with how you fear others will react to you if you actually say what you think, accurately express your feelings, and practice the candor you profess to value so highly. Often the issue is dealing with the bad manners of other people. As Gabirol put it, "The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones." the famous Anon. expressed the idea this way, "Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are;" and F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "It's not a slam at you when people are rude - it's a slam at the people they've met before." The best conclusion is that there is never a good excuse for bad manners and that "situational integrity" isn't integrity at all. Calmly and respectfully stand up, speak up, shut up, and sit down and then politely listen, making it immediately evident that you indeed are nice.

Now you know so there you go.

"It may be years before anyone knows if what you are doing is right. But if what you are doing is nice, it will be immediately evident." -- P.J. O'Rourke

The idea seems to be that good manners can and often do cover up the proverbial multitude of sins. As Arthur Schopenhauer put it, "Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax." It may quickly distort or otherwise transform reality. What seems sincere may merely be the latest example of Abel Stevens' observation, "Politeness is the art of choosing among one's real thoughts." The point is that in an effort to "be nice," candor can easily take a backseat to what Emily Post described as "a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others." The desire not to upset or offend takes priority over the responsibility to be honest and straightforward.

Of course, W. Somerset Maugham did say, "I don't think you want too much sincerity in society. It would be like an iron girder in a house of cards." And Lord Halifax said, "A man that should call everything by its right name would hardly pass the streets without being knocked down as a common enemy." The conclusion follows that there is an appropriate, middle ground between total honesty and bad manners. One should find that balance between excessive rudeness and being unnecessarily impolite on the one hand and knavery or excessive dishonesty on the other.

Are you tempted to agree with this argument? If so, you are probably aligning with the polite majority of people who behave as if the choice is between candor and insensitive rudeness. When it comes time to choose, they generally lean toward avoiding being seen as rude or as having bad manners. The result is that they are often dishonest, at least somewhat. Personal integrity is partially sacrificed to the god of good manners. When you are thus tempted, Cesare Pavese's observation is worth considering, "Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference."

Perhaps the real issue isn't your honesty, your integrity, or your manners. Rather, it is your discomfort with how you fear others will react to you if you actually say what you think, accurately express your feelings, and practice the candor you profess to value so highly. Often the issue is dealing with the bad manners of other people. As Gabirol put it, "The test of good manners is to be patient with bad ones." the famous Anon. expressed the idea this way, "Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are;" and F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "It's not a slam at you when people are rude - it's a slam at the people they've met before." The best conclusion is that there is never a good excuse for bad manners and that "situational integrity" isn't integrity at all. Calmly and respectfully stand up, speak up, shut up, and sit down and then politely listen, making it immediately evident that you indeed are nice.

Now you know so there you go.