Audio Tidbits

Abused and neglected children and foster children in particular are significantly more likely to experience persisting maladjustment than other children. Also, treatment for these children is usually more challenging than treatment for most other maladjusted children. — Please press play to listen.

It's been a while since I've shared a new post with you. OK, it has been quite a while. For my first post for a very long time, I thought a rhythmic excursion might be just what you have been hoping I would have for you. Well, here it is. I hope it was worth the wait.

It is easy to start analyzing ourselves and others in our groups and organizations and to take what happens personally. A better way to look at what goes on is to understand that people grow into certain roles or styles and are usually just being whomever they are out of habit or just because that is the way their personalities are. They are just being TATORS. If we are able to understand this and accept them for the TATOR they are, we will be a lot more comfortable.

Which tator are you?

1. Agitator: Ajy likes to keep things stirred up, find fault, criticize, and make things seem worse than they really are.

2. Anitator: Anny likes to have the last word, always “gets his/her two cents worth in,” and always has an opinion on everything and likes to show others that he/she knows more than everyone else.

3. Commentator: Common likes to be sure that everyone knows everything that is going on, is in charge of gossip and “tattling,” and seems to talk all the time even if no one wants to listen or if everyone already knew about what is being said.

4. Dictator: Dick likes to take charge, boss everyone around, be the one who makes all the decisions, and generally be in charge of everything whether or not it is his/her business or responsibility.

5. Gravitator: Gravi is pretty much of a “couch potato,” always hanging around and there when others want a little privacy, and always seems to be too tired to help out, do things, or get out of the way.

6. Hesitator: Hezy can never decide, always waits to see what someone else’s opinion is and then uses that one, is very unsure of himself/herself, goes out of the way not to offend anyone or get anyone upset, and thinks that if he/she can please everyone all the time things will be okay.

7. Levitator: Leva thinks he/she is just a little better than everyone else, is sort of above it all most of the time, seems like he/she is looking down the nose at others, and feels pretty much superior to everyone else.

8. Meditator: Meda seems to take forever to do things because he/she has to think everything over very carefully before doing something, never wants to do anything quickly or on the spur of the moment because anything worth doing is worth thinking through carefully, and is usually hard to talk with because everything has to be analyzed and discussed in great detail.

9. Militator: Milla is always on guard and ready to go to war, will argue with anyone about anything anytime, never gives an inch, and is ready to stand his/her ground with anyone who tries to take advantage or confront him/her.

10. Precipitator: Precipi is one of those TATORS that is able to get other people into arguments and then walk away, say or do things that get others upset and then pretend like he/she is totally innocent, and seems to get things messed up or stirred up without seeming to have started it or without seeming to have been involved.

11. Spectator: Spec likes to stay on the sidelines and not really get involved, simply watch or listen without really participating, and just stays to himself/herself because that seems like the safest way of just getting by without getting involved.

12. Facilitator: Facili does not mind being out of alphabetical order because his/her job is to be helpful, to do things for other people, to be there when others need him/her, and to stay away from things that have to do with accepting responsibility, showing leadership, or running the risk of being blamed for what is done or how things turn out.

13. Baby Sweetator: Baby Sweet is the kind of TATOR that is always happy and cheerful no matter what, is too nice for anyone to get upset with even if he/she does something that they should get upset about, cries or has his/her feelings hurt very easily, and tries to get special treatment just because he/she is s...

Are you prejudiced? It won’t be surprising if you quickly say that you are not. But what is prejudice? It is Being biased or having a belief or attitude formed beforehand. It is to pre-judge.

 

I think the reality is that we are all prejudiced about some things and about some people. Actually I doubt if it is possible to grow up in a particular society at a particular time without developing prejudices about some people or groups of people in particular. We have opinions about people in our family, in our community, people in proximity to us. In turn we have opinions about people outside of our direct experience. The truth is that it would be very difficult if not impossible to function without these prejudices. Were it not for these pre-formed opinions about people, we would have to start from scratch every time we interact with someone new.

 

The problem comes in when we have negative or pejorative opinions of and attitudes toward groups of people simply because of their membership in a group different than ours. This is especially true when the individuals have no real choice about membership in the group. They are members of group X and we have subconsciously made prejudicial judgments about group X.

 

I suspect our list of personal prejudices would be fairly long for most of us. Having those prejudices is not all that much of an issue. They come with life and living. The issue is keeping the prejudices, not examining them, not making rational decisions about whether or not to maintain the prejudices we have naturally come to have.

 

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, I explore the elements of prejudice and suggest some strategies we can implement to minimize how much they control our thinking, our behavior, our interactions with other people. With time and effort we can move away from judging people more or less exclusively based on which group they belong to and mostly on what they do, what they believe, how they relate to and interact with the rest of us.

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, Peter shares his perspective on character and virtue. Our choice boils down to a commitment to doing right or to doing wrong. As Peter concludes, when you get down to it, it’s not much of a choice. The key is consistently sticking to our choice. Please listen and see if you come to the same conclusion. I think you will.

Experience is what you suddenly have at the moment you understand that what you just did probably was not your best choice. Yes indeed. Nothing succeeds like experience. If you are saying, “Ain’t it the truth,” you will likely enjoy this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast. If you don’t know what all the fuss is about, you should not go another day without listening to the message in this episode and taking it to heart.

I think I can so I will. There is not much more to say about this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast. Please listen and decide whether you can too.

“Children are our most important resource.” I picked up a book about #ChildWelfare practice today that started with this interesting assertion. It was simply presented as a given, with no further justification or explanation. That is not surprising since I have heard it so many times that it is nearly a cliché.

 

I would like to be able to say that I questioned the assertion the first time I heard it but unfortunately I did not. It sounded right so I took it for granted that it was right. For some reason I don’t understand, the concept struck me as very odd when I read it today. Instead of glossing over the assertion and getting to the real content of the book, I was stuck. I could not get past the idea that children are a resource and especially the notion that they are our most important resource.

 

In this episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast, I explore this generally held belief and question whether it is true. Spoiler: I don’t think it is. Please listen and see what you think.

This episode focuses on child welfare practice and is a deviation from the usual content of the Audio Tidbits Podcast. I was recently discussing child protection practice with some friends who are still practicing. Although I have not practiced for a few years, I was struck by their commitment to family centered practice.

 

When I retired from practice, I was convinced that a child centered model best served the interest of abused and neglected children. Even then that was a minority point of view. In the conversation with my friends, their perspective was still not persuasive for me.

 

I have thus retrieved a paper I wrote about ten years ago and am sharing it here. As I reconsider the paper, I continue to think that all things considered, a child centered approach to protecting abused and neglected children is still preferable to the family centered model as I understand it.

 

If you find this type of discussion interesting, I leave it to you to come to your own conclusion. If it is not of interest to you, be assured that the next episode of the Audio Tidbits Podcast will return to the type of content you have come to enjoy.

The podcast team has an interesting take on gripes, arrogance and the wisdom of Dr. Seuss and others. They also touch on not getting too big for your britches and on the value of the suggestions of others who would have you different than you are. Please listen to the podcast and see if you agree. Also, please consider subscribing to The Audio Tidbits Podcast on your favorite podcast player.