Episode 30  Desire for approval

Script:

Hello, everyone, how are you? This week, the topic is "desire for approval". Social media is becoming more and more popular these days, and we often hear the phrase "desire for approval." It means wanting others to recognize and praise us. For example, imagine you bake a cake and share pictures of it on social media, hoping to get comments and likes. When you see those comments, it makes you happy. It's the feeling of wanting everyone to acknowledge that you did something good. To acknowledge means to admit and accept.

Life used to be simpler before social media became so popular. We didn't feel the need to show pictures of ourselves or of our friends and family at a restaurant. The only time we would show pictures to others was probably when we went on trips.

But social media has changed everything. Nowadays, people, especially women, post pictures of their new clothes, shoes, and jewelry on their social media pages. They also post pictures of the food they eat at restaurants, sometimes even just a cup of coffee.   They post their selfies at the gym.  Why do they do that?

I think maybe they feel insecure. They need validation, which means they want other people to say that they are good or important. Social media gives them a

The number of likes, comments, and followers has become a measure of popularity and success. As a result, many individuals find themselves caught in a constant pursuit of more followers, striving to maintain an online presence that gather attention and praise.

However, it is essential to recognize the potential downsides of this reliance on external validation. The constant need for approval can lead to a distorted sense of self-worth, as our value becomes tied solely to the opinions of others. It can also create anxiety as we feel compelled to constantly seek validation in

It is crucial to shift our focus inward. Building self-confidence and embracing our unique qualities and accomplishments can help us break free from the cycle of seeking external validation. Our worth should not be determined solely by the opinions of others.

In conclusion, while the desire for approval is increasingly prevalent in the age of social media, it is important to understand its underlying causes

Vocabulary

acknowledge - means to admit and accept

validation – the act of checking and proving accuracy

inadequate – lacking the quality

distorted - twisted

prevalent - widespread

Script:

Episode 29

This week I am going to teach you a few phrases on how to sound like a native speaker.  I will give you two examples for each phrase.

The first one is

"You don't say...".  It is an expression used to convey a sense of surprise or disbelief at something that has been said. It is often used sarcastically to suggest that the speaker already knew what was said.

Example 1:

Person A:

Person B:

Example 2:

Person A:

Person B:

Number 2

"Tell me about it".  It is an expression used to express agreement or empathy with someone who is describing a frustrating or difficult situation. It suggests that the speaker has been through a similar experience and understands how the other person feels.

Example 1:

Person A: "I've been waiting in line for two hours to buy tickets."

Person B:

 Example 2:

Person A:

Person B:

 Number 3

"I am losing it".  It is an expression used to describe someone who is becoming increasingly frustrated, overwhelmed, or stressed out. It suggests that the person is struggling to keep their emotions under control.

Example 1:

Person A:

Person B:

 Example 2:

Person A:

Person B:

Number 4

"You tell me" – “You tell me" can be used to express agreement or emphasize that the speaker shares the same sentiment as the other person. It implies that the other person has made a valid point or observation, and the speaker is asking them to elaborate or offer their opinion.

Example 1:

Person A:  I heard the new restaurant downtown has amazing food.

Person B: You tell me!  I have been meaning to try it out but haven’t had the chance yet.

Example 2:

Person A: I think we should leave early to avoid the traffic.

Person B:

Number 5:

"Have a beef with someone" is an idiom used to describe a situation where someone has a strong disagreement or grievance with another person. It suggests that there is a conflict or tension between the two individuals.

Example 1:

Person A:

Person B:

 Example 2:

Person A: "Why did you quit your job at the restaurant?"

Person B: "I had a beef with the owner. He was always micromanaging me and I couldn't take it anymore."

Thank you for listening.

Script:

Episode 28: How to get unstuck and continue a conversation:

Hello, everyone. How are you? Last week I was not feeling well, and skipped an episode. Sorry about that.

This week, I want to talk about how to get unstuck and continue a conversation.

We have all been there. Sometimes, when somebody asks us a question, we need time to think of an answer, or we forget what we are trying to say. Sometimes, we simply don't know the answer.

What should we do when we are in these situations? It depends on the question that you are asked.

Scenario one. You need more time to get your thoughts together, so buy yourself time by saying something.

You can say,

a) "Great question, let me think about that for a moment."

b) "You know, I have never thought about that. Let me think about that."

c) "You know, I am not sure, let me think about that".

Scenario two: When somebody asks your opinion about something that you don't know, answer a question with a question.

You can say, "I am not sure, what about you?"

You often hear people say "what about you?" and "how about you?". These two phrases are often used to ask for the other person's opinion or response.

"What about you?" is more straightforward and direct. "How about you?" is less formal, more friendly and casual. It is often used as a follow-up question to a proposal and suggestion.

But this strategy doesn't always work. What if somebody asks you about your job and you are not sure how to describe it in English? You certainly cannot say, "I am not sure." However, you can say, "Let me think about how to say it in English. In the meantime, why don't you tell me about your job?"

Scenario three: What should you do if you don't understand the question? Those moments can be embarrassing.

First of all, don't panic. And secondly, don't pretend you understand the question. You can ask the speaker to repeat the question or speak more slowly.

a) "I am sorry, could you please repeat the question?"

b) "Could you say that again more slowly?"

c) "I didn't quite catch that. Could you say that again?"

d) "I am not sure I understood your question. Could you rephrase it?"

Sometimes, I hear people say, "say that again?" or "one more time please". "Say that again?" is very casual and informal and shouldn't be used at the workplace, unless you and your co-worker are more like friends. You should never say that to your boss or clients. "One more time please" is polite and simple. But the suggested phrases made you sound more professional.

Thank you for listening.

Script:

Episode 27 - How to sound smarter at work by using 'smart' words

Hello everyone, how are you? This week, I want to teach you how to sound smarter at work by using more professional words.

Here are some suggestions.

1. Substitute "okay, no problem" with other phrases.

We often say "okay, no problem" when we agree to a request. It is fine when you are talking to your friends or family members. It is not rude to reply to your boss, co-worker or clients with, "okay, no problem" when they ask you to do something. However, it will make you sound more sophisticated when you use different words and phrases. Here are some suggestions:

"Certainly", or you can say, "certainly, I will get right on it."

"I will be happy to take care of that for you."

"Absolutely. When do you need it done by?"

"Consider it done. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Note that the words "certainly" and "absolutely" are interchangeable. So you can say, "absolutely, I will get right on it".

2. Use the word "modify" instead of "change". For example, at a work meeting, somebody says, "we need to change the way we deal with customers". The word 'change' makes it sound like you need to change everything and nobody likes to make changes. Use the word "modify" instead. It means the same thing but sounds less drastic. Drastic means extreme and serious.

3. Say "sensational" instead of "awesome", or "amazing" or "great". These three words are being overused.

4. Ask the speaker to "elaborate" instead of saying "what do you mean?", or "I don't understand what you are saying" when somebody says something that you do not understand. It is less casual and more professional. You can say, "can you elaborate it a little?"

5. Substitute "confused" and "confusing" with "perplexed" or "perplexing".

Examples: I am perplexed.

This situation is perplexing.

6. Avoid using the word "like" too often. Some people use this word 3 times in one sentence. Substitute with "such as", or "for instance".

Example, "This client is very difficult. You have to be careful with him, like when you go for a meeting, make sure you are 5 minutes early". Instead of saying "like if you go for a meeting", you can say, "such as" or "for instance, when you go for a meeting.."

7. "Exactly" is another word that people may overuse. You can say, "yes, that's so true", "yes, you are right," "that's exactly how I feel", or "you are spot on" to substitute "exactly".

I hope these tips will help you. Thank you for listening.

Script:

Episode 26: How to deal with gossips

A gossip is a rumor or a report of somebody, usually something bad. The conversation usually starts with, "Oh my God, did you hear...?" Gossips happen at work and at social gatherings.

Why do people gossip? People gossip for a variety of reasons, which can be both positive and negative. On the positive side, gossiping can help people build and maintain social connections by sharing information and stories about others. It can also provide a way for people to bond over shared experiences or even serve as a form of entertainment.

However, gossiping can also be used as a means of social control. People may spread rumors or negative information about others to damage their reputation, or it can serve as a way to make people feel superior by having exclusive information into other people's lives. If you are uncomfortable about gossiping, how do you politely ask somebody to stop talking badly about somebody else?

1. Change the topic. When somebody says to you, "Did you hear what she did yesterday?" You know the next thing that she says will be some kind of gossip or rumor. If you don't want to participate in a gossip or rumor, you can say, "no", and then immediately follow by saying something totally different, such as,

"Have you started watching that new TV show?", or "how are your kids?", or "how's the new project going?"

You make it clear you are not interested in the gossip, and want to move on to another topic. If that doesn't work, and the person is persistent in gossiping, then you can try the following strategy.

2. Shut it down. Simply be honest. Tell the person that you are not comfortable talking about somebody else when they are not here. You can even say,

"I am not really into gossip." You can ask to change the topic by saying, "Do you mind if we talk about something else?" or "Do you mind if you change the subject?"

It is good to be honest.

Thank you for listening.

Script:

Episode 25 How to sound professional on the phone – common telephone conversations and phrases

Speaking on the phone in English can be nerve-racking for English students.  Nerve-racking means causing stress or anxiety.  You already feel nervous speaking English, and speaking in English on the phone makes you even more nervous. First of all, speak clearly and slowly. Enunciate your words, and avoid mumbling or speaking too fast. Enunciate means to pronounce clearly.  The second tip is to listen carefully.  If you cannot hear or catch what the other person

Use appropriate language and be respectful.   

Here are some essential phrases.

1.    When you are answering a call for work, state your name and company name.  For example, “This is Audrey from ABC company. How can I help you?”  or you can state the department where you are working in. “This is Audrey in the Accounting Department.  How can I help you?”

 2.    If you are the one making the call, say, “this is Audrey calling from ABC company.  I am calling about..  ( you state the reason why you are

 3.    You are asking to speak to someone specific on the phone. Example, “Hi, this is Audrey from ABC company.  May I speak with Laura?” or you can say “Is Laura available? “.

 If it is not important who you want to speak to, but you need to speak to somebody inside a specific department, you can ask, for example, “could you connect me with someone in the Accounting Department?”

4.    When you are answering a call and you need to put someone on hold because you are searching for information, or you are looking for the person, or you are simply too nervous and need to calm down and think about what to say, here are some phrases to say when putting someone on hold. 

I hope these phrases help. 

Script:

Hi, everyone, how are you? This week I am going to talk about two topics. The first one is making small talks.

Making small talks with somebody you don't know well can be intimidating, but it is a great way to connect with others and

build friendships. Here are some tips for making small talks.

#1 - Start with a greeting, say hi, introduce yourself, and ask them how their day is going. This will break the ice and set a friendly tone.

#2 - Ask open-ended questions instead of yes and no questions. For example, ask "how was your weekend?" if you are meeting that person at the beginning of the week. If you are meeting the person on Thursday or Friday, you can ask, "what are your plans for this weekend?"

#3 - Find common grounds. If you are talking to other parents, you can talk about the kids, or the school activities. If you are at a work event, you can talk about your job or the industry.

#4 - Listen attentively and ask follow-up questions.

#5 - Keep it light and positive, avoid sensitive topics and avoid oversharing your personal life.

The second topic that I want to talk about today is how to politely end a bad conversation. We have all been there - being in a boring conversation, or that the other person is saying something that makes you uncomfortable. Many people use excuses like, "excuse me, I need to get a drink", or "I need to use the bathroom". Everyone knows these are cliches. A cliche is a phrase or opinion that is overused and betrays a lack of original thought. An example of a cliche is, "life is too short." Have you heard of that cliche?

There are other excuses that are more positive, tactful and honest.

If you are at a party or a networking event, and you are stuck with somebody who has been talking to you for too long, or that the conversation is too boring, you can exit the situation by saying these:

1. "It has been really nice talking to you, but I promised myself I would mingle with others and get to know more people. I will catch you later."

2. "Oh, I see some of my colleagues over there, I would like to say hi to them. It is really nice chatting with you".

Emphasize it has been great talking with them.

The other strategy is to ask the speaker to introduce you to somebody else at the event. Say, "I hardly know anyone here, who do you think I should meet? I would like to meet a few new people at this event today. Can you introduce me to anyone?"

The third strategy is to introduce somebody to this person so you can get out of this conversation. The person that you know may have something in common with this person. You can say, "I see my co-worker, John, over there. I think the two of you have a lot in common. Let me introduce you.

The last tactic is to say, "I am sure I have taken a lot of your time. You have got a lot of people you want to talk to. I will let you go but it has been great talking with you.

Vocabulary

1. break the ice - do or say something to ease the tension or get the conversation going.

2. mingle - socialize

3. catch you later - used for saying goodbye to someone when you expect to see them soon, or later the same day.

Script:

Episode 23: How to conduct or participate in an English online meeting

Since the pandemic started three years ago, online meetings have replaced many face-to-face meetings. For those of you who have experience with online

For example: "Hi everyone, I am Audrey. I am a junior analyst at ABC company, and I will be leading the discussion today."  

Be sure to call on each individual person.  

Or say, "I am sorry to interrupt, but I want you to clarify something that you said."  

 "Please bear with me for a moment (or please wait a moment) while I get ready to share my slides."

When you are ready after the short disruption, say, "I apologize for the wait." 

Thank you for listening.

Vocabulary

Etiquette – the customary code of polite behavior in society or among members of a particular profession

Cue -sign or signal

Utilize – use, make use of

Script:

Episode 22 Pandora’s Box

Hello, everyone, how are you doing?  Today I am going to talk about the idiom “open a Pandora’s Box”. The phrase "open a Pandora's Box" means to start something that will cause a lot of problems that you didn't expect. It comes from a Greek myth about a woman named Pandora who was given a box as a gift, but was told not to open it. Curiosity got the better of her, and when she opened the box, all the bad things in the world came out, like sickness, greed, and envy.

Here are some examples of how you might use the phrase "open a Pandora's Box" in everyday language:

1.    When he decided to confront his coworker about their behavior, he inadvertently opened a Pandora's box of office politics and drama.

2.     The government's decision to change the healthcare system without proper planning and consultation could potentially open a Pandora's box of unintended

3.     By sharing that controversial opinion online, she opened a Pandora's box of hate comments and backlash from people with opposing views.

In each of these examples, "open a Pandora's Box" is used to describe a situation where something is started that has the potential to cause a lot of problems that were not expected or anticipated.

 There are a few English idioms that are similar to "open a Pandora's Box" and convey a similar meaning. Here are a few examples:

1.    "Let sleeping dogs lie" - This means to avoid stirring up trouble or controversy by leaving things as they are.

2.    "The genie is out of the bottle" - This means that something has been done that cannot be undone, and that there will be consequences that cannot be avoided.

3.    "Open a can of worms" - This means to create a complicated and unpleasant situation that is difficult to resolve.

All of these idioms suggest that sometimes it's best to leave things as they are, because opening up a difficult or complicated situation can lead to unforeseen and unwanted consequences.   

Vocabulary

Inadvertently – accidentally, without intention

Controversial- giving rise to public disagreement

Backlash -  a strong and adverse reaction by a large number of people, especially to a social or political development.

Script:

Episode 21: Cruise ship joke and chatGPT

Hi everyone, how are you? Have you heard of chatGPT? It is an amazing AI language model. I use it everyday. It is a great source for information and advice. Today I used chatGPT to help me with this week’s podcast.

Last week, I read an article on a Japanese news website about the government relaxing the mask policy and that people are not sure what they are supposed to do - to wear a mask or not. Japanese society has strong “peer pressure” that forces people to conform to the opinions of the majority. In this article, a joke about a cruise ship was briefly mentioned. I thought the joke was funny, so I posted the joke on my Facebook page. However, nobody liked or commented on it. I was thinking maybe it was considered a little racist. I removed the post and this morning I asked chatGPT to tell me the joke in details, and I asked it if the joke was racist or not.

Here is the cruise ship joke. I hope everyone will take it lightly and not be offended.

An international cruise ship was sailing across the ocean. Suddenly, it struck an iceberg and began to sink. The captain put the women and children in lifeboats. But there were not enough boats, so he had to convince the men to jump into the water.

One by one, the captain called up each national group, said something to them, then they jumped. Later, a reporter asked him, “How did you persuade each national group to jump?” “It was easy,” explained the captain.

“I told the Americans that, if they jumped, they would be heroes. For the British, I appealed to their sense of fair play and told them a true gentleman would jump. For the French, I appealed to their sense of reason and told them it was the most rational thing to do.

Germans are trained to obey commands, so I ordered them to jump. The Italians, in contrast, don’t like to obey rules. So, instead, I used reverse psychology and told them it was forbidden to jump. Finally, for the Japanese, I appealed to their sense of conformity. Everyone else has jumped, I told them, so they jumped, too.”

I asked chatGPT if this joke is racist or not, and it replied as follows:

It is considered by many people to be offensive and inappropriate because it relies on negative stereotypes about different nationalities.

The joke uses nationalities as a punchline, implying that Americans are heroic, Germans are obedient, and Japanese are self-sacrificing.

I myself find it acceptable, nothing inappropriate. What do you think?

Thank you for listening.

Vocabulary

1. Conform – to obey

2. Reverse psychology - strategy of suggesting a behavior that is opposite to what you actually desire, in order to encourage the other person to do what you actually want. In this example, the captain told the Italians not to jump, to make them jump.

3. Stereotype - a widely held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing.