This is an original composition from Sophie Van Dijk, a participant from the composition program at National Music Camp.
The common human experience of hopelessness and despair is reflected in i don’t want it anymore. The work is my contribution to the conversation around mental health and deals with confronting personal battles that we would rather keep hidden. Maintaining a façade is exhausting and isolating. I believe that true human connection occurs when we are vulnerable, and as such I’ve chosen to reveal elements of my experience through this work.
'i don’t want it anymore' explores colour and motion through morphing melodic material and the use of diverse groupings of instrumental timbres. It is characterised by a sense of uncertainty; the persistent stillness threatens to break at any moment. When it does, serenity returns with greater stability, before fading to a conclusive silence.
This piece emerged from darkness; fatigue, anxiety, illness. It is a direct reflection on personal trials and triumphs in recent months. The title i don’t want it anymore expresses a visceral ache for respite. The piece is imbued with a sense of melancholy that resolves to peace, conveying my personal hope for healing.
© Sophie Van Dijk 2020
Sophie Van Dijk is a composer and violinist passionate about writing music to explore elements of faith, society and humanity. She aims to share these things with others, with the ultimate goal of bringing joy and fostering dialogue and community.
Sophie is currently completing her honours year of a Bachelor of Music (Composition) at the Sydney Conservatorium of Music. Notable commissions include: the Brett Whiteley Gallery, Light Qualities as part of VIVID 2019, Radford College Foundation Day Concert, and Trinity Grammar School where she was the 2019 Composer-in-Residence.
Sophie was selected to participate in the 2017 Coro Innominata Women Composers Development Program, the composers stream of both the 2019 Gondwana National Choral School and 2020 AYO National Music Camp.