Authenticity, Belonging, Community

We have reached 10 episodes of INCOGNITO the podcast! Thank you to everyone who has listened, left reviews, and shared with others; we jumped in to make this podcast and were so pleased by the response. For the final episode of our first season, I reflect more on my work with individuals and organizations across the country and share in-depth the Seven Tools I have developed to help people have more authentic conversations. I hope these tools bring you reflection and value in the work to create a more inclusive society.

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INCOGNITO the podcast will return after Labor Day with more exciting episodes, so please subscribe and be on the lookout! Here are 4 things you can do in the meantime:

Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify. Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar. Email [email protected] with questions or comments about the show!

Our next guest on INCOGNITO the podcast is Quinton Alston-Spratt! Quinton is Head of Advisor Practice Management at Franklin Templeton, as well as a Diversity & Inclusion leader within the company working to bring employees together. Quinton’s process focused approach helps people have better conversations and thus, better relationships. Michael and Quinton discuss his growth in the financial services sector, the challenges of stereotype threat, the importance of multiplying your impact, and much more.

Suggested tools:

-When your purpose becomes bigger than you, obstacles can become opportunities

-Be aware of moments of mistrust or conflict and address them upfront

-Don’t take things personally - it’s not about you, it’s about the other person’s perceptions

-Asking questions allows you to be in control while making the person on the other end feel like they are in control; show people how much you know through the quality of your questions

-Questions also drive intimacy and bring people along with you rather than them feeling pushed along

-Building relationships starts with being intentional and approaching with purpose

-Start by figuring out your “why”: once you know your “why” for what you are doing, look for people who align with that

-Create safety: remove titles & remove judgment (of yourself, other people, and your thoughts)

-Acknowledgements are key to creating space for questions - show people that you heard them and that you are seeking understanding

-Authenticity stems from self-acceptance; opportunity lies on the other side of your comfort zone

Quinton’s Book Recommendation:

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

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Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.

Email [email protected] with questions or comments about the show!

In this episode of INCOGNITO the podcast, we speak with Willa Taylor! Willa has a fascinating background and is currently the Walter Director of Education and Engagement at The Goodman Theatre where she has developed many exciting new programs such as InterGens, the August Wilson Youth Intensive, and Stage Chemistry. She is an adjunct faculty member at DePaul University and is recognized nationally as a storyteller and workshop facilitator on a number of theatrical and educational topics. Willa and I discuss both her successful and challenging experiences as a theater educator, the complexities in showing up as your full self, and the transformative power of stories.

Suggested tools:

-Find ways to interrupt the assumptions

-Sometimes you have to get out of the way of the mutual benefits of an alliance

-Create a safe space to talk

-Share stories and allow yourself to be changed by them

-Show up for others, not asking anything of them

-Finding and bringing your authentic self to different spaces is a work in progress

-Ask what is needed

-Share a meal; food can allow space for sharing culture and stories with people different from you

Willa’s Media Recommendations:

Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom by Bell Hooks (Book)

Coda by Sian Heder, 2021 (Movie)

West Side Story adapted by Tony Kushner and Steven Spielberg, 2021 (Movie)

How to Catch Creation by Christina Anderson (Play)

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Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.

Email [email protected] with questions or comments about the show!

This episode of INCOGNITO the podcast features Steve Edwards! Steve is an award-winning journalist, interviewer, and radio host whose work has appeared on numerous radio stations across the country. He was the Executive Director at The University of Chicago’s Institute of Politics, and is the current Managing Director at Koya Partners, identifying and strengthening leaders across the civic and nonprofit sectors. Steve and I discuss the developments in his career as a journalist, how to connect with others through asking questions, and why it is so important to truly listen to others to find the things that fundamentally unite us as humans.

Suggested tools:

-Be more interested in questions rather than answers, the “why” and “how”

-Ask yourself how you are showing up: Am I learning? Am I listening? Am I creating space?

-The generous act of listening is a full body experience, versus the sense of hearing

-Ask open-ended questions to invite someone to share and find connections to shared human experiences

-”When we become fearful we cease to become curious, when we become aggressive and argumentative we often become righteous and we stop learning”

-Difficult cycles are not broken with accumulations of more power, they are only broken by getting to a space of grace, understanding, and curiosity

Steve’s Media Recommendations:

The Tennis Partner by Abraham Verghese (Book)

Goodnight Oscar by Doug Wright and starring Sean Hayes (Play)

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Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.

Email [email protected] with questions or comments about the show!

Our next guest on INCOGNITO the podcast is Scott Lanum! Scott works in the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency as a liaison for the organization to discuss matters of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion and for employees to bring up any issues they encounter. Scott and I discuss his experience working in various parts of the Federal Government, what a model workplace can look like, and how we can all take small risks to make strong connections.

Suggested tools:

-Nobody makes their path by themselves, we need to lean on the help of others

-Show people you care, be there for them

-Create an environment where we can always have conversations; a greater value for diversity will start 1 on 1

-Take small risks with people you don’t know; try to share something beyond how your sports team did or how the weather is and thank people for taking those risks to share

-Showing a little piece of our sincere selves can create connections, shatter stereotypes, and show our common humanity

-We tend to perceive vulnerability as a weakness, but it is a strength that can lead to greater trust and understanding

Scott’s Book Recommendation:

The Founding Fathers on Leadership: Classic Teamwork in Changing Times by Donald T. Phillips

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Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.

Email [email protected] with questions or comments about the show!

In this episode, we talk with Monty Schiro! Monty is the creator of Food Fight Restaurant Group, a locally owned and operated restaurant group in the greater Madison area with a group of unique and diverse restaurants. Here, Monty and I discuss the importance of prioritizing employees, how to provide for your community as a leader, and why the simplicity of truly caring for others is not overrated.

Suggested tools:

-You sometimes learn what to do in life by learning what not to do

-Listen to your employees; Know people’s stories

-Remember that nobody does it alone

-Driving test! Would you be able to take a road trip with someone and look forward to the conversation on the way back? If so, that could be a good person to hire!

-If you say you care about people, be sure to back up your words with actions

-Seek to understand before being understood

-You don’t want to surround yourself with people who just say “yes”, but with people who have the same end-goal

Monty’s Media Recommendations:

On the Brink: Life and Leadership of Norman Brinker by Norman Brinker

Mavericks at Work: Why the Most Original Minds in Work Win by William C. Taylor and Polly G. LaBarre

Good to Great: Why Some Companies make the Leap…and Others Don’t by Jim Collins

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Find Monty’s work

Food Fight’s website: www.foodfightinc.com

Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.

Email [email protected] with questions or comments about the show!

This episode of INCOGNITO the podcast features Julie Daley! Julie is a healer, teacher, and coach guiding people and organizations to a more creative, human way of relating and doing business. In this episode, Julie and I discuss her experience as both a student and teacher at Stanford, her thoughts on facilitating a grounded room, and how to connect with people more deeply.

Suggested Tools:

-Judgment, not discernment, separates

-Come in grounded; humans mirror each other, so bring the attitude and energy that you want mirrored

-Everybody is creative, resourceful, and whole

-Allow people to be heard or felt

-If appropriate, look into the eyes of others; search for similarities and extend an “invitation”

-Being “real” is a process of letting go of all the things you think you are supposed to be

Julie’s Media Recommendations:

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

The Age of Adaline - Movie, 2015

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Find Julie’s work

Julie’s Website: www.Juliedaley.com

Email: [email protected]

Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.

Email [email protected] with questions or comments about the show!

In this episode of INCOGNITO the podcast, we talk with Jason LeVasseur! Jason is a speaker, camp counselor, and creator of The Rock Star Project. In this episode, Jason and I discuss activities to promote authenticity and inclusion, why everybody is a rock star, and how you can be the best band member possible.

Suggested tools:

-Be interested, not interesting

-Show up as yourself

-People are of value, they should matter to you

-Activity:

Write down words (traits) to describe another person,

Then write words (traits) you think others would use to describe you,

Then write words (traits) you would like used to describe you.

Choose three of the words you would like used to describe you 

and determine what behaviors you need to exhibit for others to describe you with those traits.

Jason’s Book Recommendation:

Hero on a Mission: A Path to a Meaningful Life by Donald Miller

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Find Jason’s work

Jason’s Website: https://jasonlevasseur.com

The Rock Star Project Website: https://jasonlevasseur.wordpress.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jasonlevasseur/

Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.

Email [email protected] with questions or comments about the show!

Our first guest podcast is with Kirsten Kelly! Kirsten is a New York based Emmy-winning documentary filmmaker and producer. In this episode, Kirsten and I discuss her experience as an outsider in college, her work creating documentaries Stranger/Sister and The Homestretch, and the lessons she has learned sharing the stories of others.

Suggested tools:

-Come with your armor down

-Intentional curiosity

-Deep listening

-Play

Kirsten’s Book Recommendation:

Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times by Katherine May

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Find Kirsten’s work:

Production Company Website: https://www.spargelproductions.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kirsten.kelly.771

Instagram: @kirstenkellybk

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kirsten-kelly-802aa844/

Stranger/Sister: www.strangersister.com

The Homestretch: http://www.homestretchdoc.com/

Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.

Welcome to Incognito the Podcast! In this inaugural episode, I share my story of self-discovery. This is the story of the search for my long-lost biological father and how this quest revealed a piece of my identity that changed my life forever. I discuss how this story transformed into my life’s work in the field of diversity, equity, inclusion, and leadership, and how my work has shifted over time.

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Connect with me:

Email: [email protected]

Website: www.incognitotheplay.com

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-fosberg-670b216/

Nobody Wants to Talk About It: Race and the Difficulties in Forging Meaningful Conversations https://incognitotheplay.com/publications/nobody-wants-to-talk-about-it/

Incognito: An American Odyssey of Race and Self Discovery https://incognitotheplay.com/publications/incognito/

Thanks to Ned Doheny for providing our podcast music! You can find him and his music on Spotify.

Editing and co-production of this podcast by Farrah Sklar.